Real Talk: You’re Allowed to Breathe This Week || Leigh Brown

Hey friends, I'm Leigh Thomas Brown and this is Real Talk. By the way, Merry Christmas. If you're listening to this on Christmas Day, then you're still in your routine. And I am not one to judge somebody else's routine. I'm probably listening to my regular shows too, or being really put out that they didn't do a Christmas show because I'm so used to listening to things because I always tell myself I gotta keep going. And this is the one time of year when we actually are supposed to rest. We're supposed to take a break from go, go, go and change up all of our routines, which is what allows us to have room for all those traditions that you look back on so fondly when you're a grown-up. When you think about Christmas mornings, they are different. Maybe they're different because your mom made some overnight casserole, or they're different because you got up early or because you slept late or because of the presents or because of not having presents or because of having to have Christmas at a cousin's house because you have in-laws this year and outlaws this year and your traditions are all over the place. And maybe you're the people who have that special Christmas Eve night tradition where you find a church and go do the 11 PM service so you can have Silent Night right at midnight, walk outside and quiet, and it's Amazing. And all of those things are more special because you allow them in, you give room for that. So can I just give you permission to make room for that and slow down today? That if you're in real estate, part of you feels an enormous sense of anxiety setting this poisonous little rectangle down, because you're afraid that some relocation buyer is in town and is done opening presents and they're ready to go see houses. And you said, I need one more sale this year. I can do it. And you can, you're totally equipped for it. You're very good, but you deserve the rest too. And what if the reason our relationships are fraying at the edges is because we haven't rested in them, that we haven't spent time with people past that surface level to really get to know them, even to the point of disagreeing with them or maybe not liking them. Spoiler alert, you don't have to like your whole family. But in order to make that decision, you should know them. So how do you relax into that when your business continually needs you? The first thing I'll tell you is this: you have to start with you and give yourself permission to be off. And when I say off, you're gonna hate me when I say this, but this thing in airplane mode and Turn it off, like off, off. Put it away. You can set a voicemail. You can set an autorespond that says, I'm unavailable today. I'm celebrating Christmas with my family. And by the way, you do have permission to say you're celebrating Christmas and you're not just celebrating holidays. And if you're one of my listeners who does not celebrate Christmas, that's cool. You can say holidays, but I'm saying if you have something that's meaningful to you, freaking own it, y'all. The only reason you're afraid to be who you are is because you haven't been who you are. Is this fear of the unknown? That's the same fear of taking a day off. You're afraid you're going to lose an unknown client because you didn't answer the phone. You're also afraid to tell that same prospect that you have a life and, and it's okay to have a life because your good clients do too. They have families, they have dinners they have to get to, they have presents to wrap and kids to hug, just like you do. And if indeed real estate is a business of relationships, when you let people know a little bit about who you are, the relationship goes deeper, just like it does with your own family. When you spend the time talking to 'em and even getting to know 'em. I know that the older I get, the more fascinated I am by my family, the more I wish I'd poured into them when I was younger and just listened and pulled all the stories out. Because I'm unfortunately now in that medium-aged, undisclosed number of years when I wish, wish, wish, wish, wish I could go back and ask my grandparents more questions, that I could get more stories from them. That I could just drink from that well of knowledge that I no longer have access to. And I've told my kids this more times than I can count without being terribly morbid. You have a limited amount of time with these, your most important people. So don't let it get away from you. And the same thing happens in real estate. When I tell you to turn this thing off, it's because when it's on, It's a detractor. It pulls your focus away. I've often been told that I'm a little bit creepy because of the way I make too much eye contact and I don't break eye contact. And I'd rather be known as somebody who's paying too much attention than somebody who pays none. And this thing poisons me too. That, that's why I have to turn it off. I am just like you in that I want to know what's going on. I want to solve problems. I want to answer quickly. I want to be so available to clients. Why don't I have that same desire to really want to answer every question and be involved in every conversation when I'm in connection with humans? It's because we're out of practice. So when you turn that thing off, you're going to find it's easier to lean into your conversations. The second thing I want to give you permission for is to not hit all your goals for 2025. Or if you're listening to this in January, go ahead and plan ahead for next year. You don't have to hit your goals. I know you want to because you're driven and because you have a sense of wanting to fulfill your purpose. You want to fulfill your calling and do things really well, and you want to get there, and I get that. But if it's not going to happen, just tell yourself, all right, self, we got this far. I'm okay with that. Because being okay with where you are is what lets you look ahead to whatever the next step is. This one didn't have to be perfect for the next one to still be great. So accept whatever moment you're in and then realize you're way beyond where you used to be. And that's all that matters. You aren't competing with other people, you're competing with yourself. And if I know anything, it is that the version of me today had sure the heck better be better than the version of me yesterday. Some days it is and some days it is not, because I fight every day my tendencies to have imposter syndrome, to gossip, to cuss. I'm still fighting that every day. The— I mean, just everything. Things just pile up, and then I fuss at myself because it's me versus me, which is actually the devil on this shoulder and Jesus on this shoulder. So which one's going to win? I need for Jesus to win. I need him to win. The Bible says he wins at the end. I need to look this way and not the other way. It's a struggle, y'all. So it starts with giving yourself permission to not be where you wanted to be. If I continually fuss at myself for getting things wrong in the past, I can't look forward. And if there's one thing we know about Christmas, it is that it brings us the promise that there is something really amazing in front of us. In fact, I want you to realize this: when our Savior came into this world, He did not come to save perfect people. They wouldn't have needed Him. He shows up for the woman at the well. He knows all of her mistakes. He knows everything she's done, and that's who He came for. He came for the broken. He came so that friends could say, "Ooh, ooh, Jesus is here!" And they would go put their friend on a stretcher and drop him through the roof. That's how much they wanted to see Him. He came to heal those people. Society said they were lost. Their friends hadn't given up. But they didn't feel like there was any hope. And that's who Jesus came for. You realize that's what Christmas is? It's not just the beauty of the nativity and how pretty it looked with the star and the shepherds and the wise men. It looks so nice. That baby came for the most broken among us. And when you realize that, you can absolutely let go of those mistakes you've made and let go of goals you didn't hit. Because he said to you, I came for you exactly how you are. Now I want you to follow me and leave all that behind. But come on, he didn't say look back and fuss at yourself and self-flagellate with the scourges. I want you to turn away and come with me. That's what Christmas really is. And here's the thing, if you don't sit still and talk to him, it's kind of hard to realize that you are enough. Didn't matter what you sold this year, didn't matter what mistakes you made. Even what matters is how you show up now and going forward in the next year. And I got to remind some of y'all of this too. If you're in real estate, can I please remind you of a statistic you need to know? In the last 12 months, an estimated 70% of the members of the National Association of Realtors, 70% of Realtors did between zero and one transaction. So if you're the person who sold more than one transaction in the last 12 months, you're in the top 30% anyway. So maybe you weren't doing as poorly as you thought. And remember this. When we look at the numbers, at the average realtor numbers out there, the average realtor is selling 6 houses. So if you sold more than 6, you're above the average. So if your goal was 85 and you got to 70, maybe don't beat yourself up. That's when we have to start realizing that if comparison is the thief of joy, if we put the comparison to the side and realize the joy of today, is that God loved us so much that Jesus came for the worst of us so that we'd have a chance to— you'd realize Christmas is absolutely the joy we were all looking for all along. And you were never going to find it in sales. You were never going to find it in money. You only find that when you realize and accept the fact that God loved you that much, loves you that much. And has never ever left your side. And if you are not a believer and you happen to be listening to my show, can I just remind you that Jesus came for you too? And I'm not gonna push and prod you because only you can answer his call, but I will tell you, he's right there. He's waiting very, very patiently for you, just for you. And as we think too about what Christmas means when we look at our, our businesses and our lives. I'll just remind you, it's very easy to get caught up in the wrong thing. And my third reminder to you, focus on something besides your business this week. Next week you can go back to your goal setting and your business plans and worrying about the Zillow's and the CoStars and the lawsuits. But for this week, Don't look at all of that. Pay attention to something else. The thing that's been in my head this whole Christmas season, for whatever reason, except that God plants it there and expects me to figure it out, so thanks God— the Star of Bethlehem. Y'all know that I like to run in the morning. I like to go in the dark because frankly nobody can see me and there's not much traffic and it's quieter and I can think and I can pray and I can get my, my act together so that I'm a better version than I would have been had I not run. And it's those really dark mornings before the birds wake up, because here's a little secret nighttime runner tip: the birds don't even start chirping until 5 AM. And so if you start at 4 or 4:30, it's really, really quiet out there, and I can see stars even though I live in a suburban area. There are pockets where there's not as much light pollution. Now, of course, not what y'all have out west where you have actual beautiful uninterrupted skies, but for here, there's pockets where you can see so many stars. And what I always wonder is, what would have it looked like at that first Christmas if the shepherds hadn't looked up? Now, you might say the star was so bright they couldn't miss it, and I hear you on that, but then I realize how many of us stare down and stay glued down and don't see the person here, and we don't see the flowers here, and we miss so much around us because we never looked up. And that star was a special star that was sent for the shepherds, for the Magi, so that they wouldn't miss this amazing miracle that changes the whole world forever. So as you think about Christmas and as you spend time with your loved ones and your liked ones and your trying to loved ones, look up. Don't let devices steal you, because you are somebody else's joy. Whether you believe it or not, there's somebody out there when you walk into the room, they are beside themselves They can't wait to hug you and talk to you and hear your voice. So if you would remember that you are someone's joy, it's gonna help you bring a little more of that to everybody around you. And friends, that bleeds over into everything. So Merry Christmas from me, from my crowd. And yes, I prerecorded this so that I can go cook and hang out with my family today too. If I can give you one thing, it's just to remember that Jesus is real and God loves you, and he went through all of this humanity for you. So make sure you hit the bell, leave me a comment, and I'll see you on the other side.