Saying NO to Superwoman Syndrome: Your Path to True Balance
In this motivational talk aimed at real‑estate professionals who are also parents, Leigh Thomas Brown addresses the feeling of being spread too thin and offers a roadmap to regain balance. She begins by granting listeners permission to abandon perfection, emphasizing that imperfection is normal and can be a positive role model for children. She then guides the audience to identify their true priorities, arguing that business should never be the top priority; instead, relationships with family, a spouse, parents, pets, or faith should come first. Brown explains how to align those personal priorities with professional work by focusing on a narrow set of passions and serving the community—especially through local expertise and nonprofit involvement—rather than trying to be everything to everyone. She stresses the importance of learning to say no to opportunities that don’t fit one’s core values, and she provides practical steps for managing time, avoiding burnout, and creating a sustainable, “all‑in” approach to both personal life and real‑estate business. The talk concludes with a call to action for viewers to comment, follow future videos, and continue practicing self‑compassion and purposeful focus.
Chapters
Are you feeling like you're spread too thin and you're juggling everything so that you're just completely out of whack? Well, if so, you're probably in real estate. Ah, ah. And if you happen to be a parent, then you know that right now at this time of year, when school goes back into session, everything is getting resettled into a new routine. So maybe you have littles at home who are going off to school for the first time. You're managing emotions and schedules. And you've got littles maybe who are going to middle school and now you're trying to encourage personal hygiene on a regular basis, right? That's— I promise you, it passes. But maybe you're like me and you're at the end of your kids living at home. One's in college and one's a senior, and now I'm staring at an empty nest. And so I'm looking at how the priorities and the routines are shifting around. And when you're in real estate, all of that's happening at home, plus you're handling other people's shifting routines and emotions too, because our clients are going through all this as well. So So the first thing that happens is we have to adjust our own expectations before we can figure out how we fix what's happening in our business and our personal lives. So the first permission I'm going to give you today as we talk about not feeling spread too thin, you have permission to not be perfect. Congratulations, because that's me and that's you and that's everybody because only one perfect person ever lived. And we can try to be like Jesus all we want, but yeah, you're going to make mistakes and you're going to be flawed. So live in that space. That's not necessarily a bad thing. When you are a mom in specific, you might be looking at Pinterest or at Instagram thinking you're just not as put together as other people. Well, spoiler alert, they have good videographers, perfect lighting, and it took them 14 takes and 5 filters to make it look like that. So why don't you just let go of the idea of perfection and instead embrace the idea that who you are is fine. And do you want to get better? Yes, absolutely you do. And are you going to screw up? Yes. And that's all right, because what better role model for young people than to show them that you can screw up, own it, and keep moving, that you cannot be perfect and keep moving, and that you can be your own exact self, and that's perfectly okay. Now, the second piece of this, now that you've adjusted to the fact that you are not perfect and don't have to be, the second thing you got to figure out is where your priorities lie. We get spread too thin when we try to be all things to all people. And that's very easy in real estate because when you're trying to make a living, you're thinking about how you can serve everybody. Well, that's just not realistic because as they say in Texas, there's a butt for every saddle, which means that you don't have to serve all sellers nor all buyers because it's not always a perfect fit. Again, this is why real estate is so good for the consumer because it is wildly competitive. And frankly, they have Too many choices, but the choice might not be you. So when you realize that you don't have to be everybody's favorite, that allows you to start getting your priorities in line. So as you look at your priorities, you say, well, Leigh Thomas Brown, my priority is my business. I'm going to tell you to pull back for a second because nobody's number one priority should be their business. And I don't care if you're Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos or the brand new real estate agent down the street. That shouldn't be your top priority, y'all. That's where things immediately get themselves out of whack, is if the top focus in your life is your professional money-making ability. That can be in your priority list, but it shouldn't be number one. Now, you can me all you want, and y'all can burn me up in the comments, but I'm right on this because I'm medium-aged and I know things. Your priority should be the things that matter to you, to your heart and to your soul and to your brain.? And if you have kids in the house, the priority should probably be your parenting. Are you paying attention to these little people in your house? Do they know your values and your foundation? Are you setting them up to succeed when they leave the nest? Your priority should be that person that you're married to. Are you paying attention to them and helping build them up and being a partner in life? What about your parents? Could your parents be one of your top priorities? Us that are medium-aged and dealing with aging parents, We have a wonderful obligation to take care of the generation that took care of us. And so, when you start putting those pieces together, you realize it's humans that are probably that top priority. Now, what if you're a single person, no kids, no parents, it's just you? Your priority might be your cat, which you notice mine is sitting beside me now. Maybe it's your dog, or maybe it's your best friend, but there should be some living component to that top priority, in my opinion. Now, that top priority could be your faith life. That's absolutely worthy of celebrating. And that doesn't tell you which faith it has to be because that's between you and the Lord. But what I'll say is when you have a relationship with something bigger than yourself, it changes everything. So when I talk about my priority being my family, that's always wrapped up in my other priority, which is my relationship with God and with Jesus, because that's got to all be intertwined for me. Now, for you, it might look entirely different, and that's fine too. That's up to you to figure out, because if you want to stop juggling, then figure out what carries the most weight for you. Now, when you think about that priority being a faith life, well, you have to ask yourself, what am I doing for this faith life? Am I sharing a quote on social media? Does that check a box for— we're not checking boxes with priorities, y'all. This is about where you spend your energy. And your time and your thoughts and your heart. This is where you are dialed in. So for me, and again, this might not be for you, but I'll just tell you the Leigh Brown story, 'cause y'all are still watching the video. For me to be dialed into my relationship with Jesus, I have to be in the scriptures every day because that's where I grow. I have to be in prayer all the time because Jesus and I have a running conversation. He's probably tired of me talking at this point, and I'm trying real hard to listen. So I'm working on it, I'm working on it. And I got to show up at church and I got to be all in when I'm there. And so it's an all-in proposition. Now, if you're thinking, but Leigh Brown, that's you, that's not me. Good. What are you all in for? That's a hard question to answer, y'all. We're in a world that tells us don't be all in to anything. The world tells you to be a little bit here and a little bit here and a little bit here, and that's where the juggling problem comes in, and that's why you're spread thin. So let's figure out how you can go all in. Let's think about things that are outside of humans, or family and outside of faith life? What else can you be all into? Could it be pickleball? It's a huge thing. I don't know how to play yet. I'm totally overwhelmed by trying to learn something new right now. However, some of my clients are wildly into it. And if that is your jam and you're now celebrating, you're like, Leigh Brown, you're on my topic. That's where you say, what does it look like to be all in? Maybe you have a coach. Maybe you're in a league. Maybe you have scheduled in time to practice and to get fit so that you can be the best pickleball player ever. Now, do you understand? When you start finding out those weighty things in your life, they should not just be your business because these are the things that fill you up. Now, you're going to argue with me and say, "But Leigh Brown, my business fills me up." I get that. There's ways that it does fill you up. But if the ability to perform your professional life suddenly went away, what would you be left with? That's a hard question to ask because right now, especially in real estate, there are some huge existential threats to the organization and to the industry. So when there's existential threats, what would happen to you if your ability to earn a living went away today from that business? Would you be left empty and holding nothing? See, that's what I don't want for you. I want you to say, "You know what? That's going to sort itself out. In the meantime, I'll focus right here on what matters to my heart, to my soul, to my head, to my life." So when we're thinking about these things, your business can be in your priority list. For me, it's going to be about number 3 and 4. That means it's still top 5. Whoop, whoop, I'm going to pay attention to it because I do want to provide for my family. I do want to make sure I have investments for the future. I do want to make sure I'm providing for the people who work for me so they can take care of their families too. It absolutely matters. But my life doesn't end if my business is off track for a minute. This is one of the fallacies of sales jobs or of entrepreneurism or of real estate or all the above is that we've been trained to believe that our goals are everything to do with money and sales.. And if we're not there, then we have failed somehow. You're not a failure when your goals are off. You know that, right? You might be at a hiccup in the economy, a hiccup in your business, or just a hiccup in consumer behavior. That doesn't mean that you're at a cliff and you're falling off. So give yourself the grace to step back a little bit and say, maybe, just maybe, this is not all about me. And I can look at all the different factors happening and adjust. And the reason I tell you this, you can adjust to your business life if the other pieces are not a hot mess. So, when you focus on what really matters, now you can look at your business and make some good choices. And when I say making choices in real estate, this goes back to not being all things to all people. So, if you are a residential REALTOR®, figure out what neighborhoods you know really well. As in, you know the people who live there and the builders who built it, you know the schools and the roads and the elected officials and the whole bit, because you're all in. Maybe because you watched my video about being all in, and so you're totally dialed into that area. So now, if you're not having to be all things to all people, you can spend a little more time getting to know that area better and serving that area. Maybe you serve through Meals on Wheels or Habitat for Humanity or the battered women's shelter or any number of different nonprofits or ministries that could allow you to be a resource to the area that's important to your real estate business. So now, if you're thinking, oh, I get it, Leigh Thomas Brown, I'm going to connect my priorities to my business through service. When you start doing this, it is going to take a concerted effort to spend time wisely, 'cause you only have so many hours and days, y'all. And I know you don't need me to remind you of that on this Monday, but we're not promised tomorrow. So what are you going to do with today? Real estate is amazing because we have this opportunity to be servant leaders. You have this chance to serve the public and then get paid for it at the end of the transaction. And people feel something when you have done a great job as their real estate professional. So when you start connecting those dots, you're going to find that your battery starts to charge a little bit, and you're not feeling quite as empty. And you're also going to walk away with this really important permission: you can say no. If something is proposed to you and it doesn't fit your passions and priorities, or your business, or any of those connective fibers, you can graciously say, "That does not fit right now, but thank you so much for the opportunity." I mentioned this because I interviewed an agent from my office, very nice young man, and I was asking him about what his priorities are, what his passions are, and where he spends his time. And he listed off not 1, not 2, but 12 different nonprofits. He was spending time in 12 nonprofits, 12. And I said, "How do you have time for anything else?" Well, in his mind, he was dipping into each of them so that he could build his real estate business. And I said, "That's easily obvious to the person who's observing this, that you're there not for the goal of the nonprofit, but you're there to benefit yourself. And that can create distance between you and those with whom you serve. I said, take that list of 12, narrow it down to the 2 that matter to you. Where do you really want to spend your time? And that's when he told me he wanted to spend time with dogs and rescues and shelters. I said, great, pick out 2 that feed that. And then to the rest of them, thank them so much for the opportunity to serve. And you can support them with your social media and with your cheerleading, but your time and your energy should go where it matters the most. So he did not have the ability to let go of the rest. He didn't listen, so he did not come to work for me, and that's fine too. But hopefully, as he got a little older in life, he would realize that the quantity and the quality can match. And when you realize that, the people that you're in the room with will know that too. And then once they know you're in the room for the right reasons, they're going to want to talk to you about your professional life because they're also going to want to know about your personal life too. Because the beauty of all this is it doesn't all have to be siloed. You don't have to have any ideological purity to any of this stuff if you'll just lean into your heart and soul and what matters. And suddenly you'll find that your burnout has dissipated. You're spending time where you need to spend the time. And when you need to take a day off, this is also when you've cultivated the kind of business where your clients will say, "Absolutely, we understand that your time is right now over here." and we get that, and we'll give you a second so that when you come back over here, we're ready for you too. Now, for more thoughts like this or more encouragement, follow some of these videos. Leave me a comment below. I want to know what's happening in your life because as y'all know, I'm answering these based on what you ask. And go take care of yourself by not being perfect, by figuring out where you need to spend your time so you can be the best possible version of you and your business self.
