This Is Where Leaders Fail Next (After “Being Nice”)

Most leaders do not have a culture problem. They have a courage problem. Culture is actually what you tolerate, and culture is what you reward. Culture is what you refuse to allow, and every single one of those is a decision the leader makes every day in public by action. You cannot build a culture you are afraid to enforce. An unenforced standard is not a standard. It's a suggestion, and your team knows the difference within about 15 minutes of walking into your organization. Yes, but none of that will work if you are unwilling to subtract. You can't keep piling on until you take out what's broken. Culture is actually built by subtraction far more than it's built by addition. If you wait, the message you're sending to your team is not that you're being thoughtful and kind and giving grace, The message you're giving is that you're not going to do anything about it, even though you know, and they adjust accordingly. Your best people adjust by leaving. Your average people adjust by lowering their own bar. Your worst people adjust by expanding their territory. That's how culture rots. It's not about the external forces. It's about what happens internally, and it doesn't rot in a day. It happens in a thousand small moments where The leadership chose comfort over clarity. Last time we talked about the leader, the gap between being nice and being effective, and a lot of you private messaged me and said, Leigh Brown, I hear you, but the problem is not me. The problem is my team, my office, my board. Okay, let's talk about that because here's the truth. Most leaders do not have a culture problem. They have a courage problem. Today, I'm going to show you the difference. This is Real Talk. I'm Leigh Thomas Brown. We don't do fluff here and we definitely don't do fear. We do the truth about leadership, business, and what it actually takes to build something that lasts. Now, somewhere along the way, Culture became a word that meant snacks. It meant ping pong tables and happy hours and Casual Friday, Thursday, Wednesday, Tuesday, Monday, motivational posters on the wall. It meant free coffee in the break room and company swag at Christmas. Excuse me, Happy Holidays. That's not culture, y'all. That's decor. Let's be honest about this. Culture is actually what you tolerate. And culture is what you reward. Culture is what you refuse to allow. And every single one of those is a decision the leader makes every day in public by action and in silence. Spoiler alert: this applies to your home too. So when a CEO tells me that they think their culture is broken, Well, the first question I ask is pretty simple. What are you avoiding? And I have never, not one time, had a leader say nothing. There is always something. There's always someone. Whether we say the name out loud or not, there is a fly in the ointment. It could be a top producer who treats the administrative staff like garbage and everyone knows it,, but nobody says anything because they close so many transactions. They're at the top of the leaderboard and we let them get away with it. Um, I was that person. I was so hard to work for. I would come unglued if everything wasn't going my way to the point where other agents talked about me behind their hand. I'm embarrassed to look back on myself back then, and frankly, I wish somebody had spoken to me and reminded me that the professionals around me deserve to be treated like professionals. But anyway, there's also committee chairs who haven't shown up in 3 months. They have an emergency at the last minute, or they just told staff to go ahead and handle it. But the board keeps putting them in seats. They keep putting them on the agenda. They keep elevating them because it would be awkward to release them from duty because they're going places, they're connected, they're the right person. There's also senior executives who undermine every decision in the hallway and the CEO's tired of fighting about it. So the CEO just stops bringing those kind of items to the meetings. We all know that hallway meetings bathroom conclaves and text threads can destroy any culture you have and any progress you've been making. Y'all, that's not your culture breaking. That's your culture revealing itself. Your culture is not what you say at the all hands on deck meeting, sales meeting, member luncheon. No, your culture is what happens in the moments you weren't willing to handle. Yes, that conversation in the parking lot at the car, those moments. If you were with me last week, you remember the line, "You cannot lead people you are afraid to disappoint." Well, here is the organizational version of that same truth. You cannot build a culture you are afraid to enforce. Write that one down too. Put it on a Post-it note. Now, here is where leaders get tripped up. They think culture is about perks, but it's not. The culture is about standards, guardrails, the guidelines and boundaries that your organization has. And those are only real if they are enforced and enforced consistently, not person by person, but everyone has the same expectations. An unenforced standard is not a standard. It's a suggestion. And your team knows the difference within about 15 minutes of walking into your organization. Do you want me to say it out loud? The National Association of Realtors has a beautiful code of ethics. It's the standard for every association and frankly, a lot of for-profit corporations because the Realtors We're the first to have a code of ethics. Do we enforce it? It's a self-policed document. Every time I talk about the code of ethics to agents, I ask them if they have observed a violation and the hands go up, and I ask if they reported them and the hands go down. That makes our code of ethics a suggestion, and the public knows it. Now, let me give you a test I can use with your brokerage or your association or any group of people. There are 3 questions, but you have to answer them honestly. Question 1: What behavior in your organization has been normalized that you know is wrong? It's not illegal, it's just wrong. Eye rolls. We ask if you have teenagers, do you enforce a rule of no eye rolling? How about snide comments? Wait a minute, I think everything starts to sound like things teenagers do. Snide comments, do you put up with that? Missed deadlines? In a world that says people are time blind, do you accept that? The people who no-show, completely forget and ghost, and then don't even come back and say, "Oh, I'm sorry." The person who talks over everyone else, doesn't even wait for an opening, just barrels right in. The one who leaks every confidential conversation? You begged them to keep it to themselves because you trusted them and they told just one person and you already know the answer before I can finish saying this. And if you said all those behaviors, go ahead and write them down because they are interrelated. Question 2, how long has this been going on? 6 months, 2 years, the tenure of the leadership. Now ask yourself, what does that answer say about your standards? Oh, I'm sorry if your toes hurt. Question 3: What would your organization look like? What would your brokerage behave like? How would your family respond in the world if starting right now, those behaviors were no longer tolerated? Would it be awkward at first, but then get better? Would it be better immediately or would nothing change? Again, you already know the answer. If your answer, by the way, to question 3 is a lot, congratulations, you just found your culture problem. It's not the behaviors, it's the tolerance of those behaviors. Now, here is what most leaders will do instead of enforcing those standards. They'll try to fix the culture by adding more stuff. Add a value statement. Oh yes, add a core behaviors document. Hire that same strategic planning consultant everyone else uses. Oh, let's add a recognition program. Oh, let's have a corporate retreat, a team advance. And go ahead and hire one more consultant, no big deal, or use AI as a consultant. I'm sure that'll work out great. Yes, but none of that will work if you are unwilling to subtract. You can't keep piling on until you take out what's broken. Culture is actually built by subtraction far more than it's built by addition. The behaviors that you remove, the person you finally hold accountable or tell them that while you appreciate their past service, their time of service has ended. The meeting that you cancel because it was a waste of everyone's time and could have been an email, and all the people will say amen. The exception that you stop making for this one person because of their connections. The favorite that you stop protecting? Addition is very easy. Subtraction takes courage. Courage is the actual job. So here's your test this week. Pick one thing you've been tolerating. Just one, not the whole list. It's tempting, but I want you to pick one. Put a big red circle around it. Name it out loud to yourself. Name who is doing it. Not in public, not a social media post. This is you and the Lord in your prayer closet. Name that, name who, and then name how long it's been going on. Put a calendar time clock to it. Then get really honest and name what that toleration has cost you. Did it cost you the best employee or agent you ever had? Did it cost you a client that you started off so well with, but they didn't even write you a review at the end and unfriended you on social media? Is it the board member who quietly disengaged and did not apply for another term? Is it the agent who stopped telling their friends about how great the office is because she's a little embarrassed to bring anyone in? Okay, now you're gonna have to make a decision, a really hard one. What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it right now or this week? So we'll just say right now extends to 7 days. Not next quarter, not after the next offsite meeting, not next year's business plan. No, right now, this week. 'Cause here's the part nobody wants to say out loud. If you wait, the message you're sending to your team is not that you're being thoughtful and kind and giving grace. The message you're giving is that you're not going to do anything about it, even though you know, and they adjust accordingly. Your best people adjust by leaving. Your average people adjust by lowering their own bar, 'cause what does it matter? Your worst people adjust by expanding their territory. Do I really need to mention again the National Association of Realtors and the tag that was going to change the culture? Did the culture change? Or was one person just made a scapegoat of the bad behavior and then it's continued? Because y'all, that's how culture rots. It's not about the external forces. It's about what happens internally, and it doesn't rot in a day. It happens in a thousand small moments where the leadership chose comfort over clarity. They chose not to have anybody get upset with them, so they just let things happen. Now, if this is the conversation your leadership team needs to have, not from Leigh Thomas Brown on the video screen, but live in the room, This is exactly the work I do with brokerages, associations, and executive teams. Keynote workshop, coaching, full leadership retreat, copies of Next Is Now, of course, for everyone in the room. My team will handle the details and the link to start that conversation is in the description. And if you missed the last episode, the one about the gap between being nice and being effective, go watch that one next because these two belong together. I'm Leigh Thomas Brown. This was Your Real Talk. Now, go build something worth protecting.