The perspective that changes behavior

The idea of being good inside inherently requires us to separate behavior and identity. Most difficult times we have interpersonally come because we've collapsed behavior and identity literally. Just separating them forces you to distinguish who someone is good inside from their behavior. And ironically, that's what allows you to effectively change and improve their behavior. We infer a lot from people's behavior. Someone's late to work a lot. Oh, that person's lazy. The quickest way to have an unproductive conversation is to lose sight of the fact that someone's good inside. Here's like a quote, good inside infused conversation. I would start by saying, first of all, I want to say we're on the same team. I know you're a good person. You really don't need me to tell you that we need to start meetings on time. We both know that it's also been happening consistently. Tell me what's been going on. Whatever it is, let's get to the bottom of it together so we can figure it out.