Lewis HowesYour Personal 24/7 Greatness Coach

#1 sign your love is toxic

5 Aug 2026 · 1 min

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In this brief talk, the speaker defines a toxic relationship as one where love exists but trust and/or respect are missing. He likens the psychological dynamics of such love to addiction, describing how people justify, delude, and rationalize irrational decisions to stay in the relationship. He presents a hierarchy for healthy relationships, placing trust and respect at the top, tied for priority, and emphasizes that without these foundations love cannot succeed, no matter how much effort is invested. The speaker concludes with a cautionary note to enjoy love’s power but proceed carefully, ensuring trust and respect are present.

Chapters

That is the definition of a toxic relationship. A relationship where love is present, but respect and/or trust is not. In a lot of ways, we psychologically behave with love the way addicts behave with their substance, right? Which is we justify it, we delude ourselves, we lie to ourselves, we rationalize decisions that we make that are completely irrational. My hierarchy for relationships, it's trust and respect are Tied for number 1. Most people have had an experience in their life where they've loved somebody very deeply, but they didn't trust them, and it doesn't work. It doesn't matter how much you try, how much effort you put in, how much you cry and argue and fight. If the trust isn't there, it doesn't work. If the respect isn't there, it's not healthy. So we have to be very careful. Love can be an absolutely incredible thing. It's one of life's greatest experiences, but proceed with caution. Right, right.