Lewis HowesYour Personal 24/7 Greatness Coach

Be careful who you let in!

10 Sept 2026 · 1 min

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1:17

In this short motivational monologue, the speaker emphasizes the importance of curating one’s social circle, using the metaphor of a bouncer at a door to illustrate the need to actively decide who is allowed into one’s personal space and for how long. While acknowledging that kindness and respect are essential, the speaker warns that individuals who carry a lot of drama, chaos, or conflict can transfer those negative energies into the listener’s life, effectively turning the listener’s environment into a source of stress. The speaker notes that even people who claim to dislike drama may still expose others to it, and that such high‑drama interactions can become addictive, providing adrenaline and cortisol spikes that act as a “booster.” The overall message is a call to be vigilant and selective about the people one lets into one’s inner circle, prioritizing those who contribute positively rather than those who bring turmoil.

Chapters

The circle of people around you matter. Hmm. And you need to be very careful about who's in your circle. I look at it like this, like you're the bouncer at the door, right? And you decide who comes in and how long they stay. And then you decide who you need to throw out. This isn't about niceness or kindness. I'm not saying that those things don't matter. They do. You want people who treat you well and with respect. Hmm. But you also have to look at what are these people doing to me. So for example, if you have someone who has a lot of drama in their life, that's a massive red flag because their drama is going to become your drama. Right. So you may say, but I don't engage in this stuff. I don't do this stuff. But what you don't realize is their life and their choices bleed into yours. If there's someone in your life that has a lot of chaos or conflict, that stuff is going to bleed into you. And they'll tell you, oh, I don't like conflict. I don't like drama. But then you will always see that it's this repetitive thing. And what happens is, although they may say that, you can get addicted to that. It gives you your adrenaline shot, it gives you your cortisol shots. It's a booster. And so the same people that say, I don't like it, don't listen, look. Yeah, yeah. Look, people will show you.