Billionaire Coach: Trying To Pay The Bills is BLOCKING Your Abundance! Shift Your Mindset to THIS!

I actively coach four billionaires. And so these are people I talk to every week. It's a million dollars a year. The one thing that I learned from them, it's actually maybe everyone knew it, but I didn't. Their number one trait is...

He is the star and executive producer of the number one self-help series on YouTube.

And he has interviewed, coached, or trained an absurd number of the most successful people on the planet. Brendan Daschle. If you're only ever trying to pay the bills, you're always filling a void, not building abundance. You need to find someone to fight for. If you're broke, you're fighting for survival. If you're gonna break through, you're fighting for somebody else.

Wow.

And when you find that, that's when the breakthrough happens.

How do you not go back into self-doubt when Okay, you get excited to fight for someone or something greater, but then something doesn't work out, or then it doesn't hit number one.

Write this down. If you ever want to understand your negative thinking, write this acronym I'm going to give you down.

I'm curious, from your experience, I want to understand more about abundance and wealth. From working with some of the biggest leaders in the world, From your experience, does wealth tend to come with more negative emotions or positive emotions for the people that you interact with?

I don't think wealth comes from emotions. I think emotions happen to us. And in the science of emotions, they're automatic, they're physical, they're impulsive, they're a reaction. An emotion comes up inside of you. And science shows they dispel maybe in 90 seconds, maybe three minutes if they're really severe, but they come in. you didn't know they were coming in, emotions kind of happen. Feelings are different. Feelings are the meanings you give to emotions and stories. And so you get ongoing feelings. And I think wealth is a lot attached to ongoing feelings. It's like my ongoing feeling about myself, not just the emotion I had, because scarcity isn't an emotion. Scarcity is a feeling. that you create.

I feel scared.

I feel scared because you know what, when I was a kid, and then you have the story like you share, and a lot of people had stories like you and I had too. You know, I grew up broke. You know, my parents raising four of us had no money, working full time. My dad was retired military. Shout out to all the Marines and service people in the Marine Theater tonight. My mom, immigrant to the country, they barely made it between the two of them. I have no idea. They were always fighting and struggling. It was difficult for them, too. And the challenge that I grew up with, and maybe you did, too, is I grew up with a survival mindset. If you can just get enough, like, you know, just get enough, just enough to pay the bills. just enough to pay rent. If I could just get enough. So what you're always trying to do is fill a void, not build abundance. If you're only ever trying to pay the bills, you're always filling a void, not building abundance. It takes a while to figure that out. And a lot of wealthy people I work with, they kind of figure that out at some point. They're like, I wanted to go beyond survival because I wanted to do something different. And what that different is, is different for everybody. I wanted to give, I wanted to serve, like you. It was give, it was service, it was build. Other people, it was like, you know what? I did not want to be like them. I wanted to change. I wanted to be that different person, that one person in the generation that turned it around. But at some point along the way, they understood their feelings about money.

When then were you able to break free from that? survival mindset around money into thriving financially and creating more abundance?

Guys, it happened like three miles from here. Three miles from here. I went broke in the mission district. Okay, okay. So this is a true story. I had a good job and I quit it because I want to become a writer, like Lewis, I want to write a book. I wrote about the same age too. And I wrote that book. I quickly put it out and I did what most writers do. I went really broke. You're already not doing great where I was living at the time. But then I went really broke. And there was probably two or three years I was faking being a writer. I was looking in San Francisco all the famous places the writers went. all the cafes in this town, the big name writers, and I would go there and I'd order a croissant, and I'd get a green tea, and I'd sit where the famous people sat in those cafes, and I'd look around, everyone has laptops and they're all typing and drinking their coffee, and I was like, I'm here, I'm doing it, I'm doing it. And then I just kind of ADD myself throughout the day, week after week, I am not motivated, so I'd walk around, I'd go to Fort Mason, I'd go to the Golden Gate. I'm looking for inspiration. I'm gonna find inspiration in San Francisco and I'm gonna write this book. This goes on week after week, month after month. I can no longer afford my rent. So now I go and live on some friend's couches, then on some friend's floors, and then I have to make the decision, do I go back to where I'm from, from Montana, and go live with my parents, or do I move in with my then girlfriend? and somehow she had so much grace, she let me move in. She was paying for all the groceries. She would go and work so hard every day. And knowing that I was at home writing this book, this great book I'm going to write, I'm going to make it with this book.

And you weren't making any money at the time.

No money. No money. And I had a laptop that I borrowed, and I had my mom's fold out little stool where I was writing. And I was writing next to the bed because the apartment was tiny. She was in the marina, so tinier apartment. But she's doing. She's in the marina, you know, she was doing much better than I was paying for the groceries. And so I'm writing next to the bed and all of my journals, my books, my vision boards, my research, my papers. my bills are on the bed. And she'd go to work, she'd come home, and usually I'd, you know, get everything organized, cleaned it up. And then one day she comes home, I was kind of working a line, so I'm still typing. And we have dinner, I come back, I'm typing. She comes in to go to bed that night, and I hadn't cleared off the bed. So she goes and goes to crawl.

Under.

The bed, this covers, and. I was writing and I just happened to look over and she had got under the covers and section of her bed and that's where my bills were. And she didn't know I was going in bankruptcy. And I get emotional, I'm thinking it's like miles from here. So I look over and I see the woman I love sleeping under the weight of my bills.

Wow.

Literally, she's sleeping under my bills. And it was like, it snapped something. None of us want to be the cause of financial insecurity for someone we love. And I've been faking it for several weeks, pretending to write, not getting much done. And that night, seeing that, it just snapped. It hurt so much. I was like, you know what? I gotta get this done. So I wrote and I wrote and I wrote. And the next day she went to work and I was still writing. The next day I'm writing, I'm writing, I'm writing, I'm writing. 18 days later, boom, book is done. 18 days later, bam, number one on Amazon. Bam, bam, bam, bam, six books, number one on every list imaginable, millions of copies, you know, build this huge empire of courses and memberships and eight big seminars a year all around the country for 15 years straight. And here's why. You need to find someone to fight for. If you're broke, you're fighting for survival. If you're gonna break through, you're fighting for somebody else.

Wow.

You need to find somebody or something to fight for that is beyond you. and when you find that, when you find that, that is when the breakthrough happens. That is when the real breakthroughs happen. I love his show because he asked that question to everybody at the end about greatness and everybody basically says in some way some type of pursuit of their potential and developing themselves but in pursuit of that for others. And so at some point you go from I need to just survive to, I need to be in service to something bigger that will demand something of me. And if you do not like the language of you need something to fight for, somebody to fight for, then just replace it with love. You need to love somebody or love something beyond yourself, otherwise you will only be in survival mode.

How do you not go back into self-doubt when Okay, you get excited to fight for someone or something greater, and you're living in that space, but then something doesn't work out, or then it doesn't hit number one, or people continue to laugh at you, or the money's not coming.

-You- should have seen how he looked at me. People continue to laugh at you, and.

He'S not a- -How do you not fall back into survival, or self-doubt, or insecurity, or self-judgment or just don't stop.

Pretending those are going to go away. Doubt's not the problem. Stopping is. A lot of people have doubt, but they keep going. If doubt becomes a signal to stop, you'll always fail. If doubt is a signal to learn and to try again, now you're in the scientific method and you win. So doubt should be a signal to learn and to try something new. But even doubt's not the problem. Catastrophizing is a problem.

What does that mean?

Catastrophizing is where a lot of learned helplessness comes from. It's where you worry about ruin in your life, which is one of the great fears we have as humans. If I do this, I'll be ruined. I'll be ruined. Everything will go away and they'll reject me. and I won't be able to handle it. So I'll be inadequate too. And so here's what you write this down. If you ever want to understand your negative thinking, write this acronym I'm gonna give you down. Zaps. ZAPS. You guys will be having success, and then you'll zap yourself. And when you zap yourself, you'll stop.

Zap.

ZAPS. The Z stands for zoom in. Problem happens, you zoom in on it. Difficulty, you zoom in on it. You failed, you zoom in on it. They made fun of you, you zoom in on it. Then the A is you attach self. You attach identity to the problem. You attach identity to the ruin. The failure. Yes, I am the failure. Now it's not just a bad thing happened. I am impacted by it. I am. You zoom in on what's wrong. You got to stop that. You got to zoom in on what's possible. Yeah. You got to zoom in on blessings, you got to zoom in on grace, you got to open up that perspective, you got to open up that aperture. So you zoom in on what's wrong, you attach personality or identity to the problem, then P is, then you punish yourself.

Oh man, I used to do that all the time.

Yeah, you punish yourself, you shut yourself down, you speak terribly to yourself, procrastination is punishment, Drugs, alcohol, drugs, alcohol, abuse, neglect. All of these things, you punish yourself. You neglect. And then you don't just punish yourself with the bad, you neglect yourself from the good.

You rob yourself of blessings. Yeah, because you don't believe you're deserving of those things.

That's right. Yeah. And then S is now you shame yourself or you shrink the size of your visions. And so one problem happened and you zapped into it so much that now you're playing small. And the problem is this is just a mental pattern. This is not like esoteric what we're talking about. It's mental pattern. It's a pattern of negative thinking, but it's very specific. It is catastrophizing, where you feel like things you'll be ruined or rejected so much in the future that there's no point in proceeding today. And I will tell you, and this is a lesson I had to learn, I actively coach four billionaires. And so these are people I talk to every week. It's a million dollars a year. I had to work up to that. I was the broke kid three miles from here. We'll tell that story. But the one thing that I learned from them, it's actually maybe everyone knew it, but I didn't, their number one trait is assertiveness.

Assertiveness.

Yeah. They assert themselves into situations because they believe they'll figure it out.

So they'll believe before they see. Yeah. Oh, they was checking.

Confidence. Yeah, exactly what you said. Confidence.

Today I'll figure it out. Maybe not tomorrow, but one day I'll figure it out.

That's confidence. Confidence is I believe in my ability to figure things out. Confidence is not perfection. It is I'll get in motion, I'll figure it out. And so if you want to change the world, you have to assert yourself into the world. You can't be a passive person. You have to have high agency.

And they just need character energy.

Like most problems I would look at and I'm like, oh, God. They're like, I guess we have to do it. Jeff Bezos says that what made Amazon so successful was that they made decisions with only 60% of the information. You're never gonna have it. We have enough? Go and then learn and find it out. It's that most people, they think they need to have 100% before they go. And we've been all wronged in our industry for a long time. We had a lot of people in our industry selling certainty. You need to be certain. You have to be certain. And that's been wrong because people who are certain tend to be stubborn. and people who are certain stop being curious. You need to be flexible too. You need to be flexible, adaptive and curious. And if you are truly flexible, adaptive and curious, you actually go into problems more easily. Because you're like, let's see how this.

You'Re curious, let's see how this is going to turn out.

And a failure isn't, meaning they're a failure. Yeah, they're not attaching to identity. Yeah. And that's what Wayne Dyer was talking about, it's your reference, is that if you put whatever you attach I am to, Be very careful, right? I am a loser. I am not as smart. I am a bad dancer. I am a bad dancer. It's a belief. It's a belief. I do have, can I interrupt you?

If I can dance, you can dance. I want to show in a minute.

Don't pull it yet, guys. He doesn't know I'm gonna do this. The first time Louis and I were on stage together, you remember he said he judged me? Because I was so happy in my content, people don't believe it's real. They're like, He can't actually be that happy. I'm like, no, actually the wealth of my life I learned to be happy, not make money. I learned to be happy. That's the greatest teaching of my life.

Your whole tagline is bring the joy.

Bring the joy. Bring the joy, bring the joy.

I wanna ask you a question about thinking, 'cause I think thinking is very important in how we perceive ourselves, how we perceive the world. What's more important to our success or our abundance? Is it thinking more positive thoughts, or thinking less negative thoughts.

Success will always be way more about your behaviors than your thoughts. Because a lot of the thoughts I have suck during the day, but I still get what is necessary done. Daily prioritized action versus daily good feeling is often the thing we don't crack till later. Now, we do have to have thought. And by the way, I don't want, I'm gonna come back and rewatch.

Now, but if you achieve the results.

Yeah, you have to have good thoughts. And you don't, we think.

Yeah, yeah. If you achieve it, but you still don't accept yourself, are you gonna feel good?

Yeah. Yeah. Let me share this. Instead of thinking, let's use a different word, alignment. The goal is to get in alignment with your higher energies and your higher form of being. The goal is to be in alignment with who you are and what you're really meant to do, the path you are uniquely supposed to be on. And when you take the steps, and it is steps. A lot of those steps, you're gonna have doubts. Your thoughts are actually gonna suck. They just are. They're really gonna suck, and you're gonna be unsure for a long time. But when you're unsure for a long time, you need to be aligning. And if you will make the game about aligning ever more closely to your higher state of being, ever more closely to your higher state of consciousness, ever so closely to your true nature, ever so closely to the proper path that is unique and primary and important for you, Every nudge and alignment, it's going to improve the thoughts because you're going to have a sense of integrity and character now. And it is in aligning to the actions and the path that is unique and true to your human nature and your real powers that the thoughts start getting better. They start clearing. It's actions of integrity that start making the mind come into alignment with greater strength. And so I tell people all the time, achievement isn't your problem. Lots of people can do things and thinking isn't necessarily a problem because a lot of people overthink and they got plenty of thoughts and they're very positive. I mean, I know a lot of people in our industry, they're the most positive thinkers of all time. They are law of attraction gurus and I'm like, do something. Just do. But do the thing that is in alignment. If you can get... Listen, if you get in alignment, you are granted a bigger assignment. And when you get greater alignment, greater assignment is given to you. And then greater abundance is the result. You don't start with abundance. No, you start with alignment. And abundance is an outcome. And once that switches in your head, then it's like, wait, I can do that. 'Cause I don't know if we want to go over here, but, you know, I, in college, had a girl who broke up with me. I've shared it on your podcast before, but it sent me into suicidal ideation, and I became depressed. And sometimes you can't think yourself out of depression. You have to have small daily victories of integrity. and it helps decrease that feeling. It doesn't fix it, it doesn't resolve it, just like doubt doesn't go away. Sometimes negative feelings aren't going to go away. I do like the idea that we can think these negative things less, but the reason we think them less isn't because we do a mind warp on ourselves and we go, I'm thinking less of this awful thing I really do feel about myself. It's, you know what? I did some good today. I said I was going to shower, and I showered. I said I was going to go to the gym, and I went to the gym. I said I was going to call my mom. I called my mom. I said I was going to write the first page, and I wrote the first page. And it's these small acts of integrity that improves our thoughts more than wishing our thoughts were different thoughts and could be better thoughts and could be replaced with thoughts. And so I think alignment in, now I'm going to come back and reverse myself, in alignment in our thoughts and our behaviors. but sometimes shifting behavior can be a little easier to start cleaning up the thoughts.

Yeah. It's being our word to ourself over and over again.

Yeah. Yeah. That sense of integrity.

Doing what I say I'm going to do for myself every day.

Yeah.

That will help to create more belief because you're now in alignment with what you say and do.

Yes.

Matching.

And I think you're in alignment. Like I said, there's alignment you have to get to because you have an assignment. And you can't see the assignment. Lewis, I've known him a long time. A decade ago, if we were talking, you wouldn't see this as the assignment yet. He had to go through things and discover things. Lewis has become more of his best self, and I've watched it and I really honor it because just so you know, I'm not geeking on, I just told him this in the green room today. It's been awesome to watch as a friend. -Thanks, brother. -What you have become.

-Appreciate it.

Thank you. -He aligned himself, and I want to let you show, I know he shares on the podcast, but sometimes it's different when someone says it. He aligned himself by getting counseling and therapy and help and going to seminars and listening to the people he interviews. He actually is present and he listens to them. And because he realigned himself in the universe, God assigned him Martha.

Yeah. Thank God. You're beautiful.

And now he has the abundance of love. You see that happen? He aligned. Then he was assigned. And now he has the abundance of love.

And it's so interesting, thanks for the acknowledgement I receive. So interesting because we never know like, the. The moment before I met Martha, I didn't know four years ago, I'd be where I'm at today. Isn't that crazy? It was, like, literally one moment, it ha. And everything changed. And I didn't know in that moment when I met her, this is what was gonna happen. Yeah. But it was like, literally, I'd been doing so much deep healing work before I met her that I kind of was just like, I don't, you know, I don't need to be in a relationship, and I wasn't even. I'm like trying to be in a relationship. I was like most of the people in this room single, not wanting a relationship. But I was just like, I am so good with me, whatever happens. And if a relationship comes or the right person comes, I'm ready. And if not, I'm happy to be single. But it was like I never had this feeling, 'cause I always had butterflies when I met certain people that I was getting into relationships with. And this may not sound romantic, but I didn't have butterflies with her. And it doesn't mean I wasn't attracted to her or there wasn't some connection. But it was almost like my nervous system was in alignment where I was just could see a healthy human being in front of me, as opposed to one where I was, like, unsure of or anxious around. It was just like, cool, if we vibe, awesome. If we don't, I wish you the best, and I wish me the best, and I want us both to win. It wasn't like a need you to like me or anything like that. It was just like, this is who I am and let me get to know you. And I felt so peaceful inside throughout the whole kind of dating phase of the relationship. And I was just like, I'm going to be a hundred percent me. And if she accepts me, great. And if not, I wish her the best. But never again will I allow myself to get out of alignment to please one person in life and then resent myself for shifting my value to try to make one person happy. I'm at peace whether this works out or not. And I truly want her to find someone who is the right alignment for her. And if we're in the right alignment, great. And if we're not, then I wish you the best. and that created this richness in me that I never felt. But it wasn't until I started shifting my beliefs and my behaviors and being more in alignment with myself on sticking up for me when I needed to, creating those boundaries, being fully transparent and honest and being okay if she couldn't receive it and just being like, well, this is me and it's okay. And it was an amazing experience that I didn't have the belief for many years that it was possible. Until I started to heal, then I was like, oh, I believe it's possible with the right timing. And it happened quick. I was not wanting it or expecting it in that moment. But I also didn't say, this is interesting because Martha, after like a month of us hanging out, we were spending a lot of quality time together. And also we didn't have any sexual intimacy. by my choice. I said, I'm not jumping into this creating chemical confusion. I just want to get to know you. Where previously the women I would date wanted to get to know me in other ways. But I made a decision. I said, this is not happening. She goes, yeah, I know. I'm not letting it happen. But I go, no, but I'm not going to try. She's like, okay, cool. So we were both in alignment on that. And there was something she said to.

Me.

Later, because after like a month of us hanging out, and she had done a lot of like her own healing journey as well. But I have maybe a month or two of us hanging out. She did a session with her therapist. She was in individual therapy as well as I was, which I think was beautiful because we were both on our healing journey. And she said, I met this amazing guy that something feels different. But I feel like I'm supposed to wait longer maybe because that's what people say you should wait and do this. And the therapist said, you,'re an actress, right? And if you did a movie in your first few years of acting, and for whatever reason, your movie was up for an Academy Award, and they chose you to win that award. But you said, no, I'm not ready for it. Would you not take the Oscar?

Great coach.

If the award was presented to you, if what you wanted was right in front of you, would you say, ah, I don't know. Would you block that opportunity of abundance to you? That vision?

Yeah.

She goes, no, I won it. I would take the award. And she said, then go lean into this relationship. It doesn't mean it's going to work out. It doesn't mean Right. Maybe he's crazy, whatever. It doesn't mean it will work out. But leaning into this, one day you will create that relationship.

It's beautiful.

And yeah, so it was really all about alignment and being okay if it didn't work out.

Yeah.

And that's when it just like, it just felt peaceful.

I'll break it down like, coaching. Psychological. Coach it up. On that coaching, like, this is important. And he said it, you didn't need it. he didn't need and he didn't try to control and he didn't try to get. It's weird because, I mean, we're at this money conversation tonight, but think about how often we need, we try to control and we try to get. And that's our mode of operation that we've learned with money and relationships. And it's why we have this terrible route of poor performance in those in our culture. Because if it's need all the time, I mean, you can't be fulfilled. It's like the oldest metaphor I used to teach in, like college kids back in the day. It's like, oh, if you have a relationship of two incomplete and broken people, they can't really ever quite connect. And that's why each person has to really work on their wholeness, because then you lock in. But if you're needy, you're always trying to grab somebody's parts. You're trying to grab, and then at some point that doesn't feel good, so they pull away. The harder you grab at them to fill your incompleteness, the more they want to pull that part back of themselves. So neediness is never working. Control never works, which we all know, but we still try to do it on people. and then you're trying to get and you're like, actually, I'm not trying to get any from you, Marta. It's like, okay, that's a powerful reframe. And so I think it's what you shared is so powerful because it's about relationships and money, but alignment, I want to really hammer that home. It's like achievement is not your problem, alignment is. So many people are busy. They have busy work. but it is not their life's work. And until they move in more of the direction of the path of what is truly aligned, why is it that every spiritual text and everything we know from ancient traditions, why is it always this? Why is it always that... Why is there always a centering? Because it is ancient. We know it as human beings. When we are out of alignment, that's where our ego grows. Yeah.

And we're in pain.

We're in separation. We're in pain. Like all that, like, so it's. It's just about ever so more for you. And I don't know what the answer is. And Louis doesn't know the answer is, but you have a path and you have a way of being and you have a nature and you gotta have those daily acts of Courage to scoot yourself towards that, because then you have that self-respect at the end of the day and go, I scoot myself a little bit. All right. And a few more days. of doing those actions that are good for you in alignment with you. It's just a game changer. And as weird as it sounds, most of the wealthy people I work with, which I never imagined I would, I mean, imagine all my clients are wealthier than I am. All of them. So why do they need me? I ask them this all the time. Don't tell them.

But what is the thing that for those who are super achievers that know how to either make money or build a business or accomplish things, what is blocking them from their freedom emotionally if they're able to achieve but unable to align with their higher calling or with their mission, if they're achievement masters but they haven't figured out peace and freedom? What is blocking them from feeling that when they've mastered achievement?

Well, first is, I would say they've mastered achievement, but they don't feel it yet. It's talking to everybody in this room who you've had success already and you still don't feel like a success because we don't teach people how to integrate success. So you might have a lot of wins, a lot of victories, but if you've never taught yourself how to debrief it, think about it, internalize it, and connect that to your identity and your character, a lot of people, what's blocking is they're still striving to feel what they already achieved. They're still trying so hard to feel good or adequate or worthy. They've done it. The track record shows it, but they don't feel it because they've never allowed it in.

Why don't people allow the success in or the accomplishment? Why do they have to go to the next thing right away without celebrating it or saying, oh man, I actually did a good job here and I can take it in.

Because our society is not good at celebrating success. Look at how we demonize all the top earners, look how we demonize the top people in government, culture, records. It's like, as you know, it's like soon as the bigger you get, the more that criticism comes out for no reason. You know, it just comes out. And so you're like, oh, do I want that? So they're scared. They're scared and they're not taught to celebrate the wins because, oh, if you celebrate your win, that's ego. And so, so few people, I actually, I really believe this, Most people have never genuinely celebrated their life.

Wow.

They have a birthday, they've had 50 of them. They've never genuinely celebrated and praised and felt and integrated life, God's hope for them, God's breath, God's grace. And if it's not God, they've just never taken that spiritual time. If you never felt life. How are you supposed to feel like the achievements matter? People have victories, but they never felt the victory. Yeah. They're just on to the next battle, the next battle, the next battle, the next battle. So you have to teach people first to feel. You really have to teach people to feel. And so once they. We can get that block out. Okay, now you can feel it. Okay? Like, let's celebrate some of the wins. Let's recognize it. Which sounds so corny. It just works. Because what most people want, this is my. this is my secret. I was like, how do you get these clients? And I go, well, I know one thing is true for all humans, and it is the ultimate purpose we're all here for, at least I believe. And that is, if you've been granted life, the purpose is life. Another word is aliveness. What everybody wants is more aliveness. What they're usually chasing in the next thing is more aliveness. The bigger risk, the bigger deal, the bigger adventure, the bigger novelty. the bigger complexity, the bigger bank, the bigger, it's like the chase makes them feel alive. And so the chase is important. So we just gotta make sure they're chasing the right thing. We are goal-driven species. We have this drive to achieve and build and create and expand. So you have to honor that. And I want you to feel that we call it meaningful pursuits. We want you to have a meaningful pursuit that brings you alive. and sometimes it takes a while to figure that out. And the block is they're busy in the wrong chase. They're in the wrong hunt. They're literally playing a game that isn't even what matters to them. They just got taught that, or the kids who went to that college they went to that was fancy did that, or those guys on Wall Street who do that, or this guy I'm neighbors with who has this thing. And they're now they're playing games that are stupid that don't bring meaning or aliveness. And if you don't have meaning and aliveness, the worst thing is you start making even worse choices because now you resent other people. So now you got to compete with them to beat them in games that don't matter. Does anyone hear what I'm talking about? It's like, this is why alignment and finding the feeling, what brings you alive a little bit, what has meaning to you, That's where the wealth is. What brings you alive, what brings you meaning, that's where the wealth is.

What's the test or the assessment that people can take right now that can figure out if they're in alignment with a meaningful pursuit or if they're playing a dumb game? Their career and their purpose and their relationship, whatever it might be.

Yeah, it's gonna sound so lame. Preparation. If you find yourself preparing for it, thinking about it, researching it before you go do it, you're on the right track. I'm from Montana, where, you know, I grew up hunting and I don't hunt anymore. And I know I'm in California, so hunting is like officially banned by the government. You know, but my dad grew up in a true, like on a true ranch. Have y'all seen Yellowstone? Like, My dad grew up, but it was not fancy like that. He grew up in a place where he had to go four and a half miles to a one-bedroom schoolhouse. So he grew up hunting because that's how they provided food for real. And so I grew up a little bit like that too, because we were broke. And it was a big deal to go hunting. But I use the metaphor just a little bit because people who, if they're on the right hunt, they get up at like 5:00 a.m. They start putting things together. They're checking the gear, they're checking the equipment. I got a buddy, he doesn't hunt, but he's like a kite boarder. You all know what kite boarding is? Yeah, yeah. Okay, it's really hard. He's a kite boarder. Man, he loves to get everything ready with the kite boarding and get it into the truck.

And he just, you're preparing.

Check the weather and check everything. Yeah, it's the weirdest funny thing I discovered working with all these amazing people, high performers around the world. We did this research. They just prepare more. But the preparation isn't because of fear of failure. It's like they kind of geek on it. It's like they got all the gear for the bike and they got all the weird, they just like, they like to do things. They just, they're doing it because it's an interest. And that now because they're preparing the interest, as they're doing the interest and they start to align it, it becomes a passion. And now because they have the passion, they can develop the perseverance.

It becomes grit. And you know all that research. Yeah, of course. What if someone doesn't, Know their value or their worth. How can someone start to understand what their value and worth is? And what should someone do when someone else doesn't appreciate their value or their worth?

If you don't know your value or worth, volunteer. You got to volunteer. That's literally, that would be the shortest, most direct path to finding out. that you're valuing your worth. We live in a society we don't volunteer. Now, I lived a decade in this town. I met my wife in this town, the girl who slept on my bills. She stayed with me.

-Wow. -Let's go. Pretty cool, man. That's pretty cool.

We were just at Lewis and Martha's beautiful wedding together, and we had the time of our life. It's a very private part of my life. My wife doesn't want to be on social media. She doesn't care about that stuff. So a lot of people don't know, like the actual great success of my life isn't, you know, the books and the courses and the events and the, you know, magazines and stuff. It's like I have an unbelievable marriage. Yeah. Like an unbelievable marriage. And I bring this up because when we came, we were here, I was in San Francisco. I lived here from, I think 2001 to 2008 or 9-ish. It was a different town, different city. I know many of you who live here a long time, it was different. The indifference that developed in this town with walking by those who are homeless and those who are in need at a mass social level of indifference is terrifying that that can happen. And I think it relates to the fact that a lot of people don't have self-worth. and the lower your self-worth is, the less you're likely to take care of somebody else. It's why you need to get good with you so you can be good to others. And I think that once you volunteer in a few soup kitchens, once you've helped put a few people to bed, once you've been in hospice, once you've been on the front lines, once in some way you have volunteered your actual time, your actual energy, and you see the need in the world, it Sparks a humanity in you. And when that light comes on to be a giver, I love that slide you had about generosity. When the light comes on inside, which is your Humanity, to be a giver to others, worth isn't the issue anymore. It's like. it. It's like, for those, you know, I I'm more raised in Christianity. So, you know, it's like we. When you. When you understand that level of generosity and giving of self, you stop worrying about yourself so much. Yeah. Like, the ego is, you don't. You're not so trapped in yourself and your self-concern and all of a sudden, like, worth becomes a humanity thing, not how do I feel about myself today thing. And everybody's worthwhile. I said, Maybe part of our purpose, we've been given a hint, is like, hey, if you're alive, maybe part of the purpose is be alive. But you're also alive with eight billion other people, eight and a half billion other people. So maybe one of the other hints we were given from the universe is, oh, other people, they're involved in this purpose thing. They're everywhere. So engage and give. And I promise the more you give and the more generous authentically you are, not as a martyr, but authentically giving and generous, you grow in humanity and that light and that heart and that goodness takes over. When goodness takes over, when you're good, it's just like you don't have to deal with that. Now, the second part of your question is what about people who don't recognize your worth? The people who don't recognize your worth, please know that usually they don't feel good. A lot of people don't feel good. So when they're judging you and not recognizing your value, it's not about you, they're in their feelings, they're in their own world. They're in their own dramas and dramas. They don't even recognize you. It's like you said earlier, they don't see you. They don't even recognize, they don't know. They don't even know what you're doing. They don't even care that you're dancing. They're totally oblivious. They're in their own world. They're in their own world. They're so, like, people are so oblivious, we do not realize how oblivious people are. They really are. And I don't mean that in a negative way. They're just in, they're not into your space. So first, if they judge it, realize they don't know you. I think second is to realize that your job is to align the humans around you to be as good and caring and thoughtful and compassionate and growth mindset and oriented as you are. It doesn't mean everyone will. It just means sometimes you have to decrease the amount of time with them. I got all this hate early in my career because I started teaching that there's three kinds of friends. and three kinds of people in your life. There's old friends, your high school people and other people of different parts of your life. You never talk to them again. They were just like, they were that chapter in your life. You don't see them again and you're fine with it. And sometimes they reach out to you and they're like, they're trying to come into your new chapter, but they're like, that was that chapter. And sometimes you need to be okay that that was that chapter. So you have to say, you're an old friend now. It's less time, less experience, you know? and then you have your maintenance friends, the people you see just enough to maintain the friendship, right? You text them just enough, you reach out just enough, you know, just enough, it's maintenance. It's like, it doesn't mean they can't be good friends, it just, you know. And then you have growth friends. You expand the itinerary of things you do together. You want to spend more time and see each other, and you're trying new things, and growth friends are the best. your job is to get as many of those as you can. It doesn't mean these other ones don't exist. It just means you have to kind of align it. And if you have somebody who is extremely here, the worst people to have in your life are people who are discouraging towards you. Not that they're mean to you. There's lots of mean people, but even mean people who are critical or funny, like, I have a lot of friends who are, like, super British, and, I mean, they're. That's like they cut you down. They're so smart with the cynicism. Like, and I'm not a cynical person, so I'm just getting killed by these guys.

But it's out of love.

It's out of love, I guess. And I'm an easy person to make fun of me. Look at me. And so, but they're like, but they're so cynical and funny, and I wish I could be like that. I can't come back with a quick quip at them, so they just like demolish me. But they're encouraging of my dreams. And so, If someone is discouraging you of you growing and whatever that way is, they're controlling you, speaking down to you, shutting you down, your job is to decrease your time towards them in whatever way it can. Sometimes that means a separation of relationship, sometimes it means a divorce, that's extreme. Other times it's like, you know what? I'm not gonna go to have brunch with this person every other Sunday. She's bumming me out. And you just gotta find out, like if someone's bumming you out, you need to be assertive in that situation and let them know, Hey, you're kind of bumming me out. I actually, I need some encouragement and I want us to be good friends. But if you keep bumming me out and speaking to me this way, I don't know that we can be friends. And most people go, I didn't even know I was doing it. I'm sorry. Or if they double down and then they're a real jerk, when you assert the conversation, you were just given the gift of the evidence you've been waiting for. Yeah. Wow. And we're all so scared. to like call out a family member or to limit time with a family member because we feel like it's like this awful, you know, injustice. But not everybody is meant to be on your path. And more importantly, you're not meant to be everyone else's educators. So you've got to let have them have their life too. You really got to like let them like I also people don't like with this phrase, but it's like you're not in charge of everybody else's train wreck. Wow. And.

You don't have to rescue and fix everyone.

You don't have to rescue and fix everyone. And a lot of reasons people stay with people who are actually hurtful towards them is they're trying to save that person. They're trying to be the educator of that person. They're taking responsibility of that person, so they're staying with that person who's actually hurting them. And the issue is to let go of the responsibility, and then you'll find your freedom.

Yeah. In your book, High Performance Habits, you have a quote that says, Gratitude is the golden frame through which we see the meaning of life. I feel like that's a lot of what you've been talking about, being generous, being grateful. It's something that I was talking about throughout the evening as well. When you feel like something is off internally or externally in your life, where you're not feeling peaceful or joyful. Maybe the bring the joy isn't working and your inner critic is like, shut up about the joy. I'm going through a really hard time emotionally or externally. How do you set yourself free in creating that inner abundance and external abundance when things aren't going well for you?

I actually had to teach myself an acronym for that. BMF, breath, movement, food. Like almost every time my brain takes over, I'm like, okay, I need to change my breathing pattern. I need to get up and move. And so every 50 minutes on average throughout the day, I hit the floor, I do a couple vinyasa flows, then I stand up, I do chigong and 10 deep breaths while opening up meridians on my body. And then I'll be like, how do I feel now, having breathed and moved and changed my perspective a little bit? And then I'll be like, do I need food? Like I eat, some of you don't know, I've done 400 two-hour live broadcasts on the internet. I've done 104-day seminars where I was the only teacher for 10 hours a day. I've created four pieces of content every day for 15 years and most of its audio, like in the Growth Day in my app, it's a daily audio for 15 minutes. It takes a lot of calories to run this mouth. I gotta eat. I eat. You would not believe how much I eat. So sometimes my brain and my body are just not like in positive mindset mode. I'm hangry. I need some food. So I breathe, I move and then it's like, do I need food? So BMF, that's my thing. breath, movement, food, and I'm recalibrated.

Wow. A couple final questions for you. This has been beautiful. I would like you to imagine. I'm not gonna have. I'm not gonna call out anyone here, but I'd like you to imagine from all the people in this room that there's one person here who's really going through a tough time in life. And I. And I don't know where that person is, but I'd like you to imagine that someone's going through a really challenging time and they feel like. They just haven't gotten that breakthrough or that chance or that opportunity in relationships or in their financial opportunity. It just seems like something keeps holding them back. What would you say to that person here who just feels stuck?

Stop thinking you're alone. Stop thinking you're alone. There's eight billion other people who've gone through the same thing. I've had to be with a lot of families because I do volunteer work at hospice. And I've had to tell a lot of parents, you're not the only one who lost a child to cancer. They're support groups. You're not the only person who struggled with alcoholism. You're not the only person who went bankrupt. You're not the only person who lost your love. You're not the only person. And sometimes the problem with pain is it feels so isolating and you think you're the only person. And because you're the only person, you don't raise your hand. because you think you're in a room alone, so why raise your hand? But you realize that there's a lot of other people who've been through something and getting in a group, talking with them and reaching out is the most important thing. Because if you suffer in silence, it's really hard to see the daylight. If you suffer in silence, you don't raise your hand. And so the most important thing is go, I'm not alone and I'm a person of faith. I believe in God. and when those times I feel stuck, I just think, I'm like, you know what? I'm like, okay, I'm in this battle right now. And it feels dark and it feels like all the arrows are coming and it feels like I'm gonna lose the sucker. It's like everything feels ruinous. So I start catastrophizing. I'm zapping myself into the ground. And then I have this metaphor and I just remember, I'm like, you know what though? This battle is really, it just sucks. But you know what? 'Cause I have faith. Faith means there's a forward position. And I believe that in this forward position, I got the great commander out there with an army of angels, and they're clearing fields in front of me. I don't even know how much easier it's gonna get until I keep marching. I don't even know. God's clearing paths. He's opening gates. He's arranging stuff seven cities down the line. I feel like I'm stuck here, but over there there's freedom. He's already clearing the path. He's already setting it up. I just forgot. I don't see it. But if I believe someone's clearing the paths in front of me and someone is on the path beside me or behind me or around me, I'm empowered again. It doesn't mean I don't feel terrible. It doesn't mean everything's fixed. I just believe things are being set up in front of me that I cannot even determine. You will not know your destiny. But someone's playing those checkers. Someone's moving those pieces. Like you don't know it, but something's been setting up for you. And how do we know that? Because you're here. Because you're here. If this big-hearted, athletic, beautiful man, who's so good and so great, has impacted you tonight, then maybe you can accept that there's a serendipitous reason that out of this huge city and surrounding area of two and a half some million people, that you're in that chair. Maybe a lot of chess pieces actually moved in the last six months that put you in this chair. They did in his life. He got married. 22 years ago, down in the marina, there's a Safeway. Now, if you hear a murmur of.

Laughing, it's still there.

It's because they don't call it Safeway in the marina, they call it Date Way. So all my single friends go to Safeway in the marina. Well, there used to be a 24-hour fitness across the street and One day I went into that 24-hour fitness, scrawnier than I am now. And I was on this machine where you put your legs in it, and then you do this thing for your back. I don't know what they call that thing. Back extension. Thank you. I'm doing the back extension 22 years ago, and there's this girl on this yoga mat named Denise. who not too many months later would be buying my groceries and believe in me before the first book. So maybe if I had an impact at all in anything I said tonight, maybe there was serendipity that brought us here. That was 22 years ago, a couple miles away. So maybe something brought you in this room, and if you can actually tap that for a minute, then you can go, Wow, all these things lined up that I could be in that room and get some kind of inspiration or some kind of knowledge that Lewis gave or Brennan gave, or maybe you just found, because some of you were here and tonight an idea downloaded to you that we didn't even say, words didn't even come out. It was not explicit. Something came into your heart or in your mind. It just happened to land it on you tonight. So you were given something tonight. So maybe things were lined up that you could be given that thing tonight. And if that could be true, isn't it true things are being lined up for you that you could be given to tomorrow and next week and next year? Maybe you're in the right place in your life. And things are gonna be alright.

Be at peace. Final question. Final question and also just final thoughts you would like to share tonight after the question? I'll let you close it out. What are you grateful for today? And what's your final thoughts?

Without being cheesy, I'm so grateful for our friendship. Yeah. It's been like that. It's been good. Yeah. It's like, I don't know if I got to tell you this at the wedding. I want to tell you, but, you know, when you go to someone's wedding, you kind of, at some point, if you get some time, he was, you you hung out with me at the wedding. And there's plenty of people there.

We got to have a moment right before.

Right.

Right before, yeah.

Yeah, before the ceremony even. Yeah, it was amazing. And I think sometimes when you go to a wedding, it kind of pops in your mind at some point, you're like, oh, we're friends. You know what I mean? We've been friends for a decade, but when you're at someone's wedding and you're having these moments before the weddings and it's like, oh, this is like, and it just made me grateful. And it also gave this amazing trip to me and my wife. And so it was just, I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful to be in this beautiful theater. My dad, having served in the US Marine Corps for 22 years, and I get to be here thinking about him, and I get to be here with you, and think about my wife, who was, you know, I met just a couple miles away. And so San Francisco is kind of a coming home a little bit. That's what's nice. It's nice to be here. I'm grateful for you, buddy.

Thanks, man. And Andy Final Fox as we close out.

Yeah. Final thoughts about this guy and about greatness.

Not about me, just, you know.

No, but it is. It is actually because, I don't know if you'd be comfortable with me sharing the story, but someone on your team, I'll just say that. You guys might not know this, but as he got married a couple weeks ago, he also was planning this tour. And a lot of people in our industry, they plan a book launch and then a tour. And these things are months and months and months of planning and everything. And Louis just goes, Let's go. And planned a tour along with the book launch in weeks, in weeks that his actions drove us here. So I want to bring something out about the money piece. that I didn't get to share earlier, but I think it's so important. Last thoughts about the money piece. Earning more, serving more, building more, aligning more. I'm going to tell you the number one enemy in our current culture about all of this is half-heartedness. You cannot be half-hearted and succeed. You cannot be half-hearted and have a great marriage. You cannot be half-hearted and build a great business. The world does not need another pair of half-hearted parents. The world doesn't need more half-hearted teachers. And everybody is so cool and sly and they kind of got one foot in because optionality rules the world in our abundant culture. Like there's optionality everywhere. So everybody's playing half ass and playing half ass is playing smaller than you are. If you want to move the needle of the world, if you want great relationships, you want great businesses, you want a great future, it will take conviction. and conviction means you need to start putting more of you in. And it's easy to do. You need to stop blocking so much of yourself. Putting more of you in isn't scary. It's stop protecting yourself so much. Put yourself out there. This could be an empty room. How fast he planned it? It's like conviction. Go. Do the thing. Align with the thing. Do not play half-hearted. If you are in the game, be in the game. if you're following the way, follow the way. If you're on the yoga mat, do the yoga. Don't be half-hearted. We have a society that's so half-hearted, so checked out and so detached. We're also shocked that everyone's miserable. You cannot live a happy life when you're half-hearted. Put yourself back in the game. Put yourself back in the game with courage, with conviction, with full-heartedness to serve.

And to build, and then you'll be great. Give it up for Brendan Burchard. Thank you. Thank you so much for watching this video. I hope you enjoyed it and let me know in the comments below your biggest takeaway. If you haven't subscribed to this channel, make sure to click the subscribe button right now, like this video. And also, if you're looking to create more financial freedom and live an abundant life, then make sure to get the new book, Make Money Easy Right Now. The link is below. go right to Amazon, get your copy, and I can't wait to see you in the next interview.

This is the biggest reason why people don't believe in themselves, because they feel like they've done things that happened in the past, and they could have did this way. They could have went that way. This was wrong. That was wrong. Whatever, whatever it was. To go into the mirror and look at yourself and talk to yourself. A lot of people can't.

Aren't comfortable with themselves.

So true, man. And to say, man, you're.