Before dating, ask yourself how your unresolved insecurities will damage the relationship. Financial anxiety, addiction, poor communication, and sexual expectations often surface as criticism or boredom, then get blamed on your partner. Identify your wounds first and build a buffer to keep them from ruining what you're building.
Chapters
What do you think we should be asking ourselves about the person we want to date? How are my personal insecurities going to ruin this relationship? Why is that the question we should ask ourselves? Because we go into a relationship almost blind to our own wounds and we surface in the relationship and we blame them for not providing the medication of a wound that existed before we met them. So what I mean by that is say for example you grew up financially insecure and you meet a partner who's actually really nice to you but he might not be able to soothe all your financial insecurities. You immediately think he's not good enough or you go into a relationship being addicted to pornography, and then you meet a woman who's actually just your right level, but you're so used to a hypersexualized, promiscuous woman that you find her boring. Or you go into a relationship not being able to communicate, and then you meet somebody else who is not also communicating and you don't voice your concerns. So I would say ask yourself, how are your insecurities going to ruin this relationship? And how do I create a buffer so that doesn't occur?
