Lewis HowesYour Personal 24/7 Greatness Coach

Don't get engaged without asking THIS

23 Jul 2026 · 1 min

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Lewis Howes and a guest discuss three essential questions couples should ask before engagement. One stands out: "What is the most traumatic experience you've had in your life, and how does the residue of that experience show up in your presence?" The conversation emphasizes uncovering past trauma and how it shapes daily behavior in a relationship.

If someone was looking to get engaged or married to their partner that they're with right now, what would you say are 3 mandatory questions they should ask their partner before marriage?
What is the most traumatic experience you've had in your life, and how does the residue of that experience show up in your presence?
Let's go! That's a big one.
Yeah.
Wow.
And we're all a little crazy.
Yes.
And if you have normalized something that was traumatic, then you have become comfortable sleeping with the enemy. Wow. Wow. I need to know that you know what hurt you, what wounded you, what changed the world— the way that you see the world, because I want to help you clear your lens. I'm not asking you to not have the lens. I just want you to understand how it shows up in who you are right now, and what do I need to do in order to help you see beyond what happened to you.