Dr. Joe Dispenza: How People Treat YOU Reflects How They Feel About Themselves

People who hate themselves will hate others. People who are angry with themselves will be angry at others. People who are impatient with others will be impatient with themselves, will be impatient with others. People who are unhappy with themselves will punish other people until they feel unhappy. It's just our nature as human beings. But when people are truly grateful for themselves or for their life, they're. They're grateful for others. People who love themselves naturally love others. People who are okay finally with themselves are okay with others. You know, it's just kind of how it is. So one of the things that people have as a limitation to the understanding of love is that they're feeling something other than it. And in order for us to find love, a part of us must die.

Oh, wait.

Why? Why?

Why do we need to die to find love or part of us?

Because anything that's not love in us must die. Oh. And that's the difference between knowing the path and walking the path, Right? So. So one of the things that we want to teach people in the work that we do is to understand how to manage their energy, right? And. And how to manage their attention. When you feel love, which is just a word, by the way, and people have their own experience of what that is, you tend to feel more whole. And when you feel more whole, you tend to want less. When you truly feel love is very different than being selfish. You're kind of more selfless. And when you're in your heart, you're more prone to give, more prone to care, you're more prone to be present. You're more prone to be grateful, you're more prone to be kind. That's the consciousness of that center. It is the creative center. It's the union of opposites, it's the union of polarities is where oneness, where our divinity starts, right? There can't be enough enough said about that center. So if you just did an inventory of the amount of time you feel love during the day and the amount of time you feel other emotions like resentment or impatience or frustration or judgment or jealousy, any other one of those emotions that is the opposite of love. Fear is not the opposite of love. It is the separation from love. Pain and suffering, they're not the opposite of love. They're the separation from it. That anger and hatred and hostility and violence, they're not the opposite of love. They're the separation from love, right? So then you're living in survival, and living in survival is living in stress. And living in stress produces a cocktail of chemicals and hormones that make you feel Something other than love. Turns out the majority of time people are feeling something other than love and they're feeling some of those other emotions. So you only get good at what you practice. Right. And those emotions will drive certain human behaviors that are primarily universal and will cause us to think in very predictable ways. Right. So the separation from love because of an event or a trauma or whatever it is causes people to view their life through a different lens than love. Right. Okay. So teach a person how to stop feeling those emotions of survival. Right. Because in survival, it's not a time to create. No, when it's when you're in survival, it's not a time to communicate, it's not a time to learn, it's not a time to cooperate. It's not a time to get along. It's time to run, fight or hide. And when you're in survival, you're very selfish, you're self indulgent, you're self important, you're self aggrandizing, you're full of self pity. It's all about the self. We're self involved in so many ways. And that means that once I'm okay and I'm happy, then everybody else could be happy. And so in survival and we're feeling those emotions, we're doing everything we can to make that feeling go away. Right? Right. So it turns out that if you're in that state where you're in survival and it's not a time to create or not a time to love or not a time to open your heart, not a time to learn, you're compromised in a lot of ways. So bring that into a relationship, a relationship with peers, with co workers, with relatives, with family, with a partner, then the fundamental question is, what would love do in a relationship? I think that's a really important question. Now. We have different relationships with different people. And because we've had experiences with different people, because we've had experiences with them, we have neurological circuitry that is a memory that we can relate to that person. In fact, I see you based on the memory I have of you. I'm filling in my idea of Lewis based on my memory of him really seeing you. I don't see things how they are see things how I am. Right. So your brain only can see it equal to how it's met. So based on my experience, I super like you, you're a great guy, we get along, we have a lot of things in common. And so I see you that way and the feeling that I have for my interactions with you Causes me to be attracted to you. Like, you're a cool guy. We hang out, we create conversations. And so when I see you, there is a sense of love, there's an energy, there's a connection, there's camaraderie, there's some type of union. Right. Those are healthy relationships. And as long as we're honoring one another, that relationship will continue and foster really great outcomes. You have a relationship with someone like an ex or someone who's betrayed you, you have a different memory of that person based on your experience, which triggers a different feeling. Right? Triggers a different feeling that's based on experience. And so then it makes sense then that the stronger the emotion you feel towards that person, the more you pay attention to them. And where you place your attention is where you place your energy. So you're giving your power away to change to that person or that circumstance. And it's entirely possible that your reality is staying the same because your energy is the same. That you, in fact, are contributing to that reality, Staying exactly unchangeable. Right. So then you take a person and they've had a moderately difficult past. Everybody's got a story, but when does the story end? You know?

Right.

And now it's the new later, right? I mean, it really is.

Now is the new later.

Yeah. Like, if you want to change that now. Okay. So the person understands fundamentally they haven't changed since those. That event. They're feeling the same emotion they felt from 20 years ago, and somehow their personality is in the past. Right. Okay. So the person then has to overcome that emotional state. And so they're sitting in the meditation, and that's part of their identity. And meditation is getting beyond yourself. And as you're sitting there, all of a sudden you start getting frustrated and angry and resentful towards your ex. You want to have two choices. Just go fully down that rabbit hole for the next hour and see how that feels at the end. Or ask yourself, is this loving to me justified or not? The only person it's going to affect is me.

Is this loving to me or for me?

Was that either one? It's not either one. Okay. So if I could in my meditation, really say, okay, this isn't loving to me. I know this isn't right. Even though I want to make them wrong. Just going to work. I'm going to work on settling my body down from that emotional state. If I'm successful at regulating that emotion and no longer allowing the body to feel that emotion, I'm inhibiting that thought and feeling that image and emotion. I'm breaking that conditioning response. If I. If I'm successful at doing that, if I lower the volume to that emotion, I'm going to take my attention off that person or problem. Which means I'm going to be taking my power back, right? Because I'm going to drop my energy. I'm going to build my own field. I'm no longer giving them my power to change energetically. I'm no longer giving them my attention, my energy. If I overcome the emotion, I'll take my attention off that person and I'll begin to build my own electromagnetic field. Now there's energy to create. Now there's energy to heal. Now there's energy for a whole new future. Lo and behold, when you lower the volume to that emotion, you take your attention off that person. That's forgiveness. Wow. Because if you don't feel the emotion any longer, then you no longer have your attention on that person and your life truly changes. You'll never hold on to that emotion again. In order for us to find love, a part of us must die. Ooh, wait, wait.

Why do we need to die to find love a part of us?

Because anything that's not love in us must die. Oh. And that's the difference between knowing the path and walking a path.

Well, all the people that you've seen have successful long term relationships.