People-pleasers bury anger beneath compliance, which fuels self-criticism and feeling trapped. The speaker argues you need to confront that stored anger, say no, and let others feel the tension. Sitting with discomfort breaks the cycle and builds real boundaries.
Every person you meet that's a people pleaser or that has that kind of— or an over-giver, there's a certain untapped energy inside of them that if they were to tap into would completely transform their lives. What is that? That energy is being in contact with the stored anger and resentment underneath the surface. Normally what happens is that anger that you're afraid to share towards other people by expressing yourself becomes internalized. So then you beat yourself up because you said yes when you really meant no. So there's this, this part of us that gets repressed underneath the surface with anger. And the key is actually the thing that you avoid. If you can embrace it, you will start to become more free. So if you think about it in the form of a people pleaser, if instead you let it be okay that you express yourself and someone feels tension, The tension they feel in their body is not your thing to manage. Mm-hmm. You will feel tension inside of your body when you first start allowing other people to feel tension. And the key is to sit with it.
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