Sarah Jakes Roberts explains why she doesn't respond to negative social media comments: they sting because they touch her own insecurities. Instead of fighting back, she uses the hurt as a signal to untangle what's really bothering her underneath.
When do you feel the most powerless?
When people say things on social media that I can't respond to, that I tell myself I can't respond to.
Why do you tell yourself you can't respond to it?
I do not want to give attention to negativity.
You don't wanna give it power.
I don't wanna give it any more power. And I also recognize that whenever something has bothered me, something that someone has said that's negative, the reason why it bothers me is because it echoes an insecurity that already exists in me. And so if I am at war with them instead of untangling my own mess, I missed the opportunity to grow. So if it burns, if it stings, if it gets on my nerves and under my skin, it's because it was already under my skin.
Oh, yeah.
And they just watered it. And so I try to get in within and say, like, well, what about this really bothered you? Are you afraid that you aren't good enough? Are you afraid that your delivery really is X, Y and Z? Why did this bother you? And I tried to extract what's actually happening.
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