Offering quick advice usually backfires because it strips away the other person's sense of power. Instead, slow down and ask open-ended questions like "What's the challenge for you?" Staying curious longer creates a real conversation where they feel heard.
Most people are advice giving maniacs. Somebody starts talking and in about 10 seconds they're like, I know what I need to say. I barely know you, but I'm pretty sure I have the solution here. You one up them and you actually diminish them in a little bit. Ironically, if you rush in with your advice, you create resistance from the person who you're desperately trying to help. You're doing it because you have a good heart. What's powerful about slowing down the rush to advice giving is that you keep giving them power and you keep giving them authority and you keep the focus with them. How do you do that? Well, I go, what's the challenge? challenge for you. And I listened to the answer. The secret is listening to the answer. Sometimes I'm like, what's the thing it's finally time to put down? What's the burden you've been carrying that it's finally time to put down? Magic starts to unlock when you can stay curious longer.
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