How to know if someone is USING YOU!

How do you know the difference between someone who wants to use you or take advantage of you in life versus someone that wants the best for you?

The facial expressions are going to tell you every time.

So exactly like what I was talking about earlier when. If you had met me and you had said, so great to meet you.

And you're growling, no, you're not happy.

To meet me, or you're saying, oh, I heard you got a promotion at work, and you're. You're doing the bunny rabbit twitch right here.

You don't like that at all, no.

Matter what your words are saying.

But if you say, I'm so proud.

Of you, and your cheeks pop up and you're. You get these smile bags, and I'm going, oh, I said something really vulnerable when we just met. You know, we talked for, what, five or ten minutes before we started this interview, and as soon as I said something about something that was hard, you puckered your. And you just do that intuitively. That's empathy. That's kindness. That's, I feel your pain. I care about that. I worry about that. I want you to be okay. And so when we see that empathy, that person's really feeling our feelings with us. And we do. You talked about mirroring earlier. And we do.

We mirror other people's expressions all day long, especially when we're connected with them.

So back to that question that you asked.

How do you tell, or can you change your facial expressions?

I can change my facial expressions by.

Changing the ideas in my head. So I had to fire a board.

Member once, and he'd done these egregious things.

And we decided as a board that we needed to do it as a group because this person was going to try to go out to constituents and try to destabilize the whole organization. And so we sat down and they.

Said, annie will do it. Annie's not afraid of conflict. So I started reading this list, and.

I said, we need you to understand that this is unanimous and we are firing you from your position, and here is why.

And I was growling at him as I was saying.

You were?

Yes, because I was saying these horrible things that he did, and I was disgusted at them. Yeah, I was disgusted. And then I'm thinking, because I know that I've got all these people that I have to get along with, and.

They'Re watching me growl like a dog.

And I needed to change my own expressions, and I can't create those full parallel lines of thought, but I could.

Feel myself just getting more and more worked up So I just repeated in my head. Lovingkindness. Lovingkindness.

Lovingkindness.

While you're saying things you don't agree with. Wow.

Yeah. I got pulled aside afterwards from a friend that had.

I'd been training, and she said, you.

Halfway through, you switched.

You switched.

And I said, oh, yeah, here's what I did.

It's the only way I know how to do it.