How To STOP INSECURITY & Truly Love Yourself | Lewis Howes

Recognizing that confidence is not something we are born with. It's a skill in any profession or any aspect of life.

Confidence is- what is this self-talk you do internally? If you don't have a mirror, if you're not alone in a bathroom, what's your process that you say to yourself? What are the reminders? What are the mantras, meditations that you think about before that?

It always helps me to voice it whenever I'm insecure. I either I'll write about it somewhere or I'll speak to somebody who I trust, my mom, my husband, my best friend. But I find it easier to talk about it. So that's why I have a healthier relationship with my insecurities because I take away their power by discussing them. I choose not to live with them alone in the dark recesses of my mind. because then they become monsters and then they become really, really large and they're usually not real. So it's always been very helpful to me whenever I'm feeling crazy or insecure or afraid or even if I feel like I've made a mistake. My dad told me this when I was very young, when I was 16, the first time he sat me down and he gave me a glass of champagne and I was like, what? And he was like, yeah, you're 16, you know, you can have a glass of champagne with me. You're gonna do it anyway. He was like, and he told me, he was like, whatever happens in your life, you should feel free to be able to do it with your parents. There's nothing to hide from us. I'll always be in your corner. And, you know, he told me that about feelings. I always had the freedom to talk to my mom or my dad as a kid. about anything I was feeling. At least to my father, I wouldn't discuss the boyfriends, but my mom, she was like my best friend. She knew about every object of attraction that I ever had. And I think that that sort of gives you the sense of confidence to be able to talk about it. And I just think it's a great first step to get rid of insecurities.

I'm just a big believer. I love everything you're saying, and I'm just a big believer that if people really listen to this and understand, take it in what you're sharing, that it's hard to achieve anything without confidence. You could have the greatest experience, you could have the greatest degree, the skills, you could have the family, you could have the money, like you could have good looks, whatever it is, you could have this stuff. But if you don't know how to build confidence when it matters, It doesn't matter if the world believes in you, if we don't believe in ourselves, nothing's going to happen.

And the world won't believe in you.

Exactly.

If you don't believe in you. And I think as someone in the public profession, my job is to be entertaining and be confident in every step that I take and in every move that I make. But I think recognizing that confidence is not something we are born with. It's a skill. It's like, you know, it's a muscle almost, if you think of it like going to the gym and, you know, to have muscles and to shape, you've got to work at it. Just like the vocal cords, people, the greatest musicians in the world, they use, you know, their vocal cords. They do riyaaz like we call it in Hindi, but which is warm-ups and stuff like that. So confidence to me is like that. you start using that at a very small level. Everyday life, you know, when you're in school, there were times when I was in school where I used to take the other hallway because I didn't want to bump into someone else when I started high school. By the time I was in 11th grade, I was walking in the middle of the hallway.

You're strutting around, you're getting people moving away, yeah.

I was like, excuse me, I didn't even have to say that, I was just walking. Because, and that's the same person, but I think that in any profession or any aspect of life, confidence is perception is reality. Most people believe that, right? You know that how people perceive you is what they think reality is. So give them something perceivable.

Amen to that. What would you say are three things on a daily basis that you do to build confidence that you think anyone could apply for their life, even if they feel like they have no confidence?

When I wake up in the morning, I take time in the bathroom. Like, I shower, I will, you know, pick the outfit that I'm feeling today. I will, you know, sort of doing my makeup and my hair sort of helps me, or my skincare routine actually at night helps me be sort of introspective. Otherwise, through the day, I'm very erratic. I have, you know, multiple balls in the air. professionally, I'm doing a lot of things. I'm always behind on time. I'm always playing catch up. So at the end of the night, at the beginning of the day, I really give myself some silence. I play music and, you know, I put my creams on and I really think about what the day is going to be like and how my first step outside of my room is going to be. When I take that first step outside my safe space, it sets the tone for my day. so I try not to have it be erratic or scary or like, you know, if I'm late and if I'm running, that always sets the tone for my energy through the day. So I try to really, you know, start my day on the tone I want to have and the confidence I want to have. And at every given step during the day, I remind myself of the things I have instead of the things I don't have. Insecurity comes from a lot of it sometimes I think comes from, oh my gosh, I don't have this, it's not good enough, or I'm not good enough for a particular scenario or a particular situation, or we start judging ourselves. This was another lesson actually, an activity that my mom and I used to do is we used to count our blessings. Me and my husband do it too whenever we're feeling crazy because our schedules are insane. you know, always in different parts of the world. We do that. We count our blessings about just five things that whenever you're feeling sort of crazy and unstable that, you know, you have that you're really grateful for. And I'm not even saying this superficially. This was like truly an exercise. No matter how badly off you are, someone else is worse off than you. That makes it so easy to count your blessings.

I mean, especially watching this latest movie that you're in, I mean, White Tiger. I've only been in India once. I went there four years ago and studied meditation in Chennai for a couple of weeks, but I went to Delhi and kind of traveled around a little bit. I didn't see everything, but I saw a lot of dark things and a lot of things that were constantly reminding me, Wow, I have a lot to be grateful for every moment. So, I think it's important to have that perspective. in our lives that we always have something to be grateful for. Even when it's the darkest time, there's something to be grateful for.

Absolutely. And that's so empowering. That to me is my greatest mantra is, you know, truly and tangibly do it on your fingers, do it like just five things. And it's a great exercise to do with someone as well, your kids, your family, you know, anytime it's just like five things. Then you have to just say rattle it out. The five things that you can think of at that point. But, you know, the crazy part about the white tiger is that it's based in India and you probably reacted to it because it's shot so authentically. But if you think about it, the majority of the world lives in those conditions, you know, and the socioeconomic divide that exists right now is only increasing. Like even the sustainable development goals have been set to eradicate extreme poverty because it's such a big problem. There's such a large population of the world and we as privileged society, we as privileged people, anyone who has a roof above their head and meals on their table is privileged. And as privileged people, like that's something that's our concern. You know, there's a large generation of children who don't have a choice in their future or in their lives. They don't know if they can have aspirations or dreams.

And.

How desensitized we are. Last time, you know, you've driven past a homeless shelter and you've not even looked at it or a homeless person and not even looked at them. It's the desensitization that we as people who have, and that's the differentiation between the have-nots. But it's also a reality and it's a reality everywhere in the world.

I don't want to give away the whole movie. I want everyone to watch it because it was really powerful and inspiring to see someone come from poverty to essentially become an entrepreneur and be successful in their own way. And the story is really powerful. But you took on a role that is, I found fascinating because that's probably not, I don't know if that's how you would react in real life because I know you have such a giving, grateful heart caring about humanity. But your character does something that's very controversial. And you essentially, from my opinion, don't take accountability. And how did you feel doing a role that is probably against your morals, your values, and the way you live your life right now?

I never judge my characters. Like I never judge people. Live and let live. Each person is individual to their decisions. and if I started, I would never be able to play bad guys, and I love playing bad guys. But I think what was most interesting for me when I was playing Pinky is she's an American. And I'm an Indian who's grown up in India and understands the complexity of the diversity of that country. There is no one India. There is multiple Indias and you can spend your whole life trying to get to know it, and you'll still never know her. So this is one aspect of India that is showcased in this movie, but it's also, it's more than that. It's the story of this one man and everyone else from his perspective. So it's not us looking at him or the country. It's him looking at all of us saying, oh, you know, and especially with my character, she's woke, but she's fake woke, right? She's one of those girls who's like, why don't you pull yourselves out of your my circumstances, my parents worked in a bodega, you know, and I pulled myself out, why don't you do it? He doesn't have a roof over his shoulders. His family doesn't have food. It's a completely different complexity that most woke people don't have the ability to understand, including me. I lived there and I can't claim to understand it because, you know, I.

Have had.

Basic lively life rights since I was a child. I've been to school. I've had an opinion about where my future is going to be, choices. And that's what's so amazing to me about this movie, that I leaned into playing a character that was fake woke and, you know, pivoted when it wasn't convenient. Me and my husband, both, in the movie, not my real husband.

Right, right.

The character in the movie both of us sort of like were like, this is not the right thing, but you know, when it wasn't, when it was inconvenient, we kind of stood back and watched and that's a very human testament. Which is why this movie, which was originally a book by Aravind Adiga, which came out in 2008, it was a Man Booker Prize winner, it was a New York Times bestseller. When this book came out, that's exactly what it did. It was such a human sort of transcript, human behavior, you know, flawed, not black or white, living in gray, all of them living in gray, which is truly how we live. And it's sort of self-reflective, it should make people feel introspective and think about the last time we behaved like that. Plus it's clever and it's sarcastic. Sarcasm is my favorite language. So I really enjoyed the tone of the movie as well.

Speaking about sarcasm, was it pretty easy for you to step into that character living in LA then, with all the fake woke people here?

I mean, I will say that I may have been inspired by my surroundings just a little bit.

I'm curious, excuse me, I'm curious about you're evolution as a woman in this industry, typically younger women are more desirable for opportunities in their late teens, early 20s. And it's like when you're 26, 27, it's almost like you're old as a woman and you may not be the young sexy one anymore or something in this industry. How do you feel after getting into your late 30s now? How have you evolved personally to not allow that stigma to hold you back from being who you want to be, from accepting yourself, from loving yourself, from innovating and reinventing yourself that you've done so many times, how do you not let that stigma hold you back?

I can't say that I don't. I just am hoping that it doesn't happen to me. You know, we live in a world where anything is possible right now, as we've seen in the last few years as well. And I think that I remember when I was in my, when I was 28, my mom sat me down one day and she said, you know, girls have a shelf life and you are reaching that where, you know, the older boys, they're always looking for the younger girl to act with. And even if they're in their 50s, you know, they're still going to be working with 20 year olds, but you're going to be old and you need to think about a business. if acting opportunities stop coming your way, that's how I actually started my production house.

Wow.

Because I was like, you,'re right. What if I'm like, I need to be financially independent in my life. But at the same time, while this was happening to me, I recognized that innovation and reinventing who I am, even for me, is so important. And being true to the craft that I'm doing and the service that I have to provide, which is my job, So I started trying new things. I started wanting to grow. I didn't want to stagnate into doing the same kind of roles. I didn't want to stagnate in similar kind of parts or even languages and borders. And I did music. I was signed as a recording artist to Interscope, where I'm at Bose. I pivoted from that into television that I had never done, English language TV. Then I moved into features in America. Now I'm producing in India and America and acting in both these countries, which are two of the greatest movie industries in the world. But if I sat down to think about the glass ceiling that was built for me, I would never have a trajectory powerful enough to break it.

Wow.

Because I didn't make that glass ceiling. So I don't want to think about where it is. You know, it's been made by other people. So you just kind of have to have, you know, speed and run towards, your end game and have a goal and be ambitious and fuel that ambition every single day.

What is the end game?

To have a legacy, I think. I want my children to be proud of the legacy that I've had. I want to be hopefully part of the history books of entertainment where I may have contributed to the arts in some way. with the work that I have done or the work that I create or the work that I will do. So I want to be able to, as a woman, you know, leave a better world for the girls after us, like the women before me did for me. I don't think about voting today. I don't think about driving today. I don't think about aspiring to have the same job as a man. And all of those fights were fought by women that came before me. So it's my responsibility and our responsibility as a generation to leave it better. for the next one. So those are broad strokes of my end games.

And what, I mean, I'm sure you get this question a lot. I'm just curious because my audience is a lot of high achievers. They, they're big dreamers. They're going after what they want. They're learning the skills, the tools to become more confident, more, more giving, all those things. It sounds like you're doing everything all at the same time. How do you navigate intimacy, connection, love with you know, your husband, your family, your friends, the people that matter the most to you, how do you navigate relationships with such a busy full plate?

It's not easy. You know, there's not as much FaceTime as you would possibly want. But I, when I made the deal with the devil about, you know, running at this fast pace many years ago, I realized that there would be sacrifices that are required and you know, when you have, there's no free lunch in the world and when you have ambitions, you've got to sort of pay for it. And, but I overcompensate or I try and compensate with making sure even if I don't have FaceTime or if I've, like for a very long time in my life, I missed, you know, birthdays and Diwali and New Year's and I would always be working and all I could do was apologize and my family always understood. because, you know, I was working at something. But I think that I made sure that I always call, I never forget birthdays. I will always call on a birthday. If I go to a city, even if I can't meet someone, my family, my friends, I'll make sure we FaceTime. I'm very, it made me very thoughtful about the people I love. I love loving the people I, that I care about. I love making them feel special and I love being empathetic and I think it's very important to leave the baggage of the job behind when you walk into your house and just be true to what you're feeling. I think it's important to choose relationships when you're really busy because we can all be caught up in life and you know life is like a really fast river, you know, you don't know what the currents are going to be because it's just moving. You don't know what you're going to bump into because it's just moving. But you have to choose to hold on to something when you want to take a breath, right? Just like that, you have to choose to hold on to a relationship, whatever that might be with your children, with your family, with your parents. You have to make the time and you have to tell the people you love that you love them. Don't just assume that they know.

You've got some wisdom, Priyanka. I love this.

Oh, thank you.

I'm curious about, I know how meaningful the relationship was with your father. And he obviously got to experience a lot of your success. And I'm sure he was extremely proud of you for, you know, the 3000 movies and all the projects you worked on. But I'm curious, what do you think personally he would be most proud of that you've done in your life? since his passing?

That I didn't give up, you know, that I didn't rest on my laurels. He used to always push me. He would always push me to never be satisfied with what I have. He pushed my ambition. He flamed my ambition. He was always like, what's the next thing? What are we doing? He loved hearing stories about the next movies that I was doing. I used to literally marry them to him in the hospital bed as well. this is my character and I used to break down my characters with him or movies that I wanted to make. And, you know, there were phases in my life like that a little bit of a dark phase, especially after my dad died, where I felt like I don't know if I could keep up with the life that I had built and what was expected of me by then. Because I personally took a hit and I personally was feeling sad and you know, sadness sort of... Sadness is strangely seductive, you know, it kind of sucks you in and you're... it's like... it feels comfortable, it feels like you're floating and it's easy. Light might be harsh a little bit, but the joy that you feel when you choose light, when you choose to let go of the seduction of sadness, I think my dad was afraid that because I'm very sensitive that I would have been seduced by sadness for a long time. He was very afraid of that. Even before he died, he used to always talk to me about, don't be sad. Do not be sad. That's, I'm not going away. I'm always with you, you know? But I was, I was tremendously sad. And, but it takes choosing yourself. And I've done that multiple times. in my life. And I think it's such a powerful tool because the longest relationship you have is with yourself.

I read somewhere about you sharing that you come into this place alone, you leave this place alone, you've got to build that relationship with yourself. I love that you keep saying choose yourself. A friend of mine wrote a book called Choose Yourself. His name is James Altucher and it's a really powerful book. It's about going after you want and choosing yourself and not allowing someone else to dictate what you can and can't do and all that stuff. But I love that you keep using that phrase because I think it's important for people to be reminded that we need to choose ourselves when no one else will choose us. We need to be there for ourselves when we're single.

It's no one's job. It's no one's job to choose someone else. You know, your parents will do it for a while, your spouses will do it for a while, maybe your children will do it for a while. But you are no one else's responsibility but your own. Yeah. And what you do with your life and the choices you make dictate the sum of your life. It's such simple math actually. We are the sum of all our choices. And if you want to achieve something, if you want to achieve greatness, and I'll give you a small example, the White Tiger, the movie, I was never attached to it. I was never approached for it. I read about it on Twitter that it was being made. I read in a trade magazine, I read a deadline actually that the White Tiger is being adapted by the director Ramin Bahrani and for Netflix. And I was like, I have to be a part of this movie. I called the agents, I called my agents, I made them call the producers, I chased Ramin from Mumbai to New York to LA. I met him three times, I auditioned with him three times. I offered my services as an executive producer because I wanted the material, because I want to align myself with good content and I believe that would be good content.

Many years ago there was a wonderful psychiatrist in London called Dr. Maudsley and he had a great expression, it's always been my favorite and it says, the feeling that cannot find its expression in tears may cause other organs to weep. he knew 100 years ago.

That's beautiful.

So beautiful and so true. The feeling that cannot find its expression in tears will cause other organs to weep. So he's sort of saying, if you don't feel the feeling, your body's gonna feel it. If you don't open your mouth and say, you hurt me, don't be surprised if you get a screaming. Everywhere I've got this screaming headache. I've got this angry red rash. I've got this thumping pain. And by the words they're using, angry, screaming, they're saying, I have rage that can't come out.

I'm not expressing it, but it's kind of expressed through my body.

Yeah, because the body is very clever at finding something. I worked with someone who couldn't walk and all she said was, I can't stand there. I can't stand my ex. I can't stand my life. I can't stand my kids and you can't stand up. Isn't that interesting? Wow. She had sort of phantom leg pains because she couldn't stand anything. Bulimics always say, well what makes me sick is my sister-in-law. Oh, I'm so sick of her. She just makes me sick. I vomit in my mouth every time I hear her voice and then they wonder why they're bulimic. Right. Because our words really affect our reality partly because, and it's such an easy thing to say, every word you say is a blueprint that your mind, body and and psyche are working to make your reality. So we make our thoughts and our thoughts make us, then we go out into the world and we justify our thoughts every day. But our words are a blueprint and when you know that you think, well I better pay attention to that blueprint. I better not say this kid is killing me. My job is making me want to die. I'm so stressed out by what? The Q in Hughes Well, go to Zimbabwe where there is no Hughes Market and there is no queue and there's no money to buy food and then you can say you're stressed because your problem, the queue in error one and the bill, is someone else's fantasy dream come true. This freeway is killing you. You have a car. You have to look at people on four buses. I used to take my daughter to school and I'm in one day thinking that Oh my God, this commute is hell. And I saw someone at a bus stop and thought, how lucky I'm in my car. I've got the heating, I've got a cup of tea, I've got an hour to listen to something. I can talk to my kid. I keep saying, I want an hour to myself. Well, here it is. And I learned to stop doing that. But when you said, how are you? Nightmare. It is torture.

What?

The traffic. Yeah, the traffic, the queue, people keep ringing me, the phone ringing, it's torture. Well, maybe if it didn't ring, that might be worse. Worse. Some of my clients who are models will say, My life is hell because people look at me. It's like, Really? Well, one day they won't, and then you might miss it. Yeah, but I get on a plane and guys hit on me, it's a nightmare. Well, put on a baseball hat and glasses, read a book, then they'll leave you alone. But that's not a nightmare, it's just mildly inconvenient. It's not hell. It's not killing you. But we use these incredible words. This is torture. This is killing me. This is a disaster. What is? Well, I went to the bathroom and I forgot to pause my movie. That's not a disaster. But when you use those words, because your mind can't differentiate, to feel like it really is a disaster.

The flip side of this, the beautiful part, when we understand and appreciate that.

Our thoughts become reality.

We can create the life of our dreams as well. We can start to manifest our thoughts by visualizing, by telling ourselves what we want, who we want to become, and taking those actions toward it. We can manifest our dreams.

You really can. You can stop being ill. You can change the shape of your body. You can change your digestion. You can have physical things. You can change the way you interact with your kids, the way they... So here's a good example. My kid is a nightmare. Change that to my child is age appropriate.

There you go.

That's it. This builder is going to go, oh my God, that's a disaster. But a good builder will go, It's a challenge. When you said talking to girls is terrifying, you just changed that to it's challenging. But hey, there's hundreds of girls out there. It's a numbers game. One will say yes. One will say hi. And even if they say no, the only risk in life is not to take the risk. That's the risk if you don't take so when you take the risk and it goes wrong, you learn something.

It gives you feedback for how to.

Show up differently the next time. My girlfriend's a doctor of physical therapy and when she works on people, she would agree with everything you're saying because people's bodies are so tight, not because of something they tore or something sore, but it's because they're holding on to something emotionally. And she says once they start to talk, their bodies relax and the pain.

Goes All the pain where they can't.

Lift their shoulder, they can't turn their neck, once they let it out their feelings about their relationship or their insecurities or whatever it may be, that's when they have a pain-free body.

Because the body keeps score. The body holds on to pain and stress and tension and grief and we carry around all this stuff and yet we really don't have to if just more people knew even to to say I'm enough every day. And to say, another of my favorite things to go is, I'm choosing this and I'm choosing to feel great. I'm choosing to work on my website all week and I'm choosing to go to the gym. I don't love it, but I love having a six-pack. I'm choosing to say no to Krispy.

Kreme donuts and yes to apples. Love Krispy Kreme.

Do you?

I could eat 12 of them right now.

Oh, so good. But I choose the apple. Yeah, and if if you say, I'm choosing to do this and choosing to feel great about it, your mind has a very clear image. The way you feel about everything is down to two things, the pictures you make in your head and the words you say to yourself. There's nothing else. So if you choose to run going, I'm running, so I'm raising money for charity, so I'm going to complete this run even though my feet hurt, my knee hurts because I'm going to raise money. But you could run going, oh, I hate this. It's so. I could be at home watching Netflix. I haven't eaten and then my knee hurts and then you'll have to stop. So when you keep saying I'm choosing it.

Because yeah.

So if you're an Olympic athlete you would choose to get up at 4am and train. If you are a diabetic you choose to put a needle in your arm. If you wear lenses you choose to jab your finger in your eye but you don't go oh I hate it. I don't I can't accept it and I can't change it. And when you say I'm choosing to study, to work, I want to go and talk to this girl I really like or to put good food in my body and I'm choosing to feel great about that too. There is no resistance. When you go I want donuts and I can't have them, I've got to eat this freaking rabbit food. What your mind does is it increases the desire for donuts because you said I want donuts but I can't have them. I want pizza, I'm eating kale.

I can't have these but I choose to use pizza.

I can eat pizza every day. When I'm 95 I'm going to knock myself out with pizza. But right now I actually want to look really good in my clothes. Maybe out of them too. So I'll save the pizza when I'm 80 because that door is probably shut then anyway. Then you can have loads of pizza.

Every day.

But you have to reason with your mind and negotiate and your mind will always do what it thinks you want. That's its job. And if you could only tell your mind what you want using relevant, up to the minute words, you'll get exactly what you want.

What do you struggle with telling your mind? Is there anything that you...

It took me a long time to tell my mind not to eat sugar. I still look at it and go, It looks so nice.

That's me.

But I still look at candy. The other day I was really tired and I went into a shop to get a coffee and they they had jars of jellies and I thought I could eat all of those.

All of it.

But I'm choosing not to and I just had the coffee. So working out, you know, we're on a schedule, sometimes just finding the time to go to the gym or do yoga, making the time. Yeah, that's probably the only two really eating healthy food all the time, even on a plane, even sometimes where there is no healthy food, then you've got wait and choosing to make myself excellent when I don't want to. But other than that, nothing really, because I couldn't do what I do unless I was really good at dialogue. My mind is my best friend. It's the best PA I've ever had, and it does what I want because I give it clear instructions.

What do you say to yourself on a daily basis? Is there like a process in the morning, afternoon, night, or what would it be like?

Actually, when I wake up, the first thing I would say is I'd I love my life. I love my linen, I love my cup of tea. I always wake up going, I love my life. And then when I make my go, I love this tea. I love the coffee. I love the shower gel in my shower. Because I really believe that if you can make your mind get excited by little things, then big things every day is like Christmas. And I think when you wake up, you should go, oh, What have I got today? Oh, a world of stress. I've got this, this, this, this, this. So you should always wake up and go, I love my life. I'm alive in a free country. I've got all this stuff to make tea and life is great. So I do that. The second thing I do is I tend to stay in bed and do all my emails because then I feel like I'm not working because I'm in bed propped up drinking my tea and I get all of that out of the way. Yes, that's true. More relaxed. Not stressed. I try not to have to rush to go to base, but sometimes I do. And I mean, I'm very lucky because I love what I do and I do what I love. People say, you work really hard. I go, I've never worked a day in my life. I don't know what that is. I don't have to go, where's my life? It's a weekend. People say, oh, the weekend, I go, what's a weekend? I can take time off. I mean, I love my job because I get to to make such a difference. So I don't really have much to moan about. Maybe communicating with my daughter is sometimes a challenge because I'm so positive that she occasionally wants me to be super negative.

Why is that?

Well, I guess because you have to be the opposite of your parents. So I do all these positives. She's an artist and she does lots of negative statements on her paintings, on her t-shirts because that's the deal. You've got to be the sit of your parents, but I understand that. But she's great, but really I don't have much to complain about.

You have a positive conversation with yourself pretty much 24/7. What about a nightly routine? Do you have a boss that you say to yourself?

Well you see for me, I really believe that first it's what you do and then it's who you are. So first you're doing it and then it's who you are and it's so who you are that it wouldn't occur to you to have to make yourself do it. See, I would never sit on the couch and go, my case is lost, I just know it, it's all going to go wrong, there's no cabs out there, this is a horrible flight. I now have a belief, and it really should be, that there's no such thing as being bored if my flight is late. I mean, I just get on my laptop, on my phone, I mean, it's, I have 24 hour entertainment empty at my emails, look at something. The days of having to wait and being bored, even waiting in the car. My little phone is like everything. Books, messages, videos. And so I love that. I don't really mind about missing stuff and being late anymore. In fact, when I was last Landing here two weeks ago, I was hoping the memory because I was so into this movie. Hopefully it's delayed. Yeah, it's delayed. When the pilot said, we've got to go around. I thought, oh, that's so great. That's exactly how long is left of this movie. But I think it's important for people to understand that it isn't what you do. It's a bit like people who say I've done yoga every day and now it's just my soul. Like Meghan Markle said that yoga is in my soul. I don't do yoga. Yoga is part of my life. It's like you don't say I walk my dog. If you've had a dog for 20s just get up, pick up the lead and it's who who you are, not what you do. And so for me, it really isn't what I do because it's so a part of me and I like it. And so, I'm quite lucky that I'm pretty happy and positive, but I really do love my life and that's a good thing.

Was there ever something in the last 10 years that questioned everything that you've done or that questioned your ability to say, I love my life, you know?

I did get very sick like a year ago and I thought, wow, how could that happen? You know, I'm so happy and positive and eat well, so I was a bit surprised when I got sick. But then I thought, how did you get through that? The same thing, the thinking, the belief, I decided I'd focus on massive healing. I kept telling my body that it was a cancer fighting machine. I was making all these NK killer cells. And I did actually go home. the next day I was on stage a week later and my doctor was like, wow, you become the poster girl for just going on with your life. And now I look at one particular YouTube and think that's so bizarre. I had like major surgery just a week before that and you'd never know. But again, it's a belief I decided I do wellness. I said to the husband, I need to go home. I went and I got into my own bed. I watched Ray Donovan. I thought, this is it. I'm doing wellness here. I'm not going to lie in that bed where they keep trying to give you pills. And I didn't feel any pain at all because I just kept telling my body to heal itself. And then later I thought, maybe it's good I got that because I can help other people. And I go, look, you know, it. Life throws stuff at you, but you get to choose how to deal with it. Yeah. And even then I noticed that I was very positive because I, you know, I had actually got womb cancer. I thought, stroke of luck to get womb cancer. I don't need a womb. It's done its job. I've had a great kid. I talked to my womb and said, thanks for giving me this great kid. But now I've got to get rid of you because I've got to stay here and raise this great kid. And I thought, that's good. I mean, imagine if you get brain cancer or bone cancer. I felt very lucky it was a disposable organ. They've done a great job. I didn't need it. And so I think once you become like that. It's just who you are. So I never had, oh my God, I'm gonna die, because I thought, no, I'm not going anywhere. It is all perspective. I mean, I still, you know, people would say to me, but I thought you were so healthy, how could you get that? As it turns out, I have that same gene that Angelina Jolie has. But then, of course, Bruce Lipton would tell you, you can turn off a gene. You can mentally remove that gene. so even with adversity, because it's quite good in a way, because people think, oh, your life's just, you're like Pollyanna just tripping along, having a wonderful life. That's not true. I've still had adversity. But your mind will always kick in when it's well trained. You go, this is a blip. Just. Just a blip. Just carry on. And so you got to train your mind like you train a horse. You know, I say, your mind's like a Ferrari. and if you've never driven a Ferrari, it's going to go all over the place. But if you have Ferrari driving lessons, you're going to run that Ferrari. The Ferrari should not be running you. If you get on a horse, you've never ridden, it's going to go everywhere. But if you have some horse riding skills, you say, go there. And it goes. So I see my mind like a.

Horse, and I am the rider. When we live in stress, we live in separation, right? Because our senses fool us into believing you're there and I'm here and everybody is separate from us and everything is separate from us. That's 3D reality, right? But as you start opening this center, all of a sudden, when you become nobody, no one, no thing, nowhere and no time, right? That's the moment that your consciousness lines up with the consciousness of the field. That's when you are totally present. Now, here's the deal. If I can get people to believe that just because they can't see something doesn't mean it doesn't exist. They can just connect and pay attention to that field and stay present with it and become more aware of it. Moment after moment after moment, every interaction with that invisible field, every experience lays down new circuits in their brain for them to perceive more of it.

Right?

So then as they keep their attention on it, they start moving closer and closer to it so they experience less separation and more oneness and wholeness. So then when that happens, there's a cascade of all kinds of physical and chemical and energetic things that begin to happen. So for me, the best way that I can describe that field is it's intelligent love. It's greater levels of order and unity and oneness. And when you strike it and you hit it, it is the most incredibly electric feeling. you will ever have. It is the most familiar, unfamiliar feeling you will ever have. You will swear that you are ancient in that moment and you will connect and it won't be just like love for your puppy. You will feel it in every single cell of your body. And I mean like a vibration, a coherence where your body becomes electric and the only way we can describe that is love. You taste that one time. You want to know all the time. Here's what I say. I always say, the first time it happens, the first time it happened to me, and every time since, when I come back to my senses, I always say the same thing. Joe Dispenza, you got this all wrong. Because some veneer, some conditioning is lifted, you start realizing that the way you think life is, isn't that way. So now, When I've had those moments, Louis, I have said, There cannot be any more love than this until the next experience. Until the next time. I mean, how much is there, right? I mean, you get super humbled.

When was the last time?

Ooh, about, well, about five days ago. Yeah. What was the moment? Ooh, I just had a very profound mystical experience. I was, I'll tell you the short story.

And how often does it happen also?

I don't know. I mean, I live for them.

Yeah.

So, try to do it every month.

No, I just do the meditations and then when they happen, if I'm just in the right place and I don't have a plane to catch or an email to answer and I have a little laxity and I can kind of surrender into the moment, I just.

Had.

This incredible, I don't know how to describe this, but there is a geometric pattern like mandala, I don't know what it was, and it moved right through my entire body and it was like working with me, with my physical body, and if I could surrender to it, it was just incredible bliss, I mean incredible, incredible bliss. I mean, I don't know how to describe it. describe it. And when that occurs, when it happened to me, my heart was just lit up like it was an experience, it wasn't a physical experience, it was from within. Here's the weird thing, every time it happens, my heart feels alive, like it lasts for days, like the emotion from the experience.

Last for a day.

And people are like, what's up with you?

And you're just kind of, you're so joyful.

You got this big smile on your face. I just am so happy to be alive. So I think that independent of, listen, I now know, I mean we've measured genetic changes, hormonal changes, neurotransmitter changes, we've measured immune system responses by trading fear for gratitude. We've measured gene expressions. We now know that people can signal the gene to reduce cancer and tumors, signal the gene to grow new neurons. We've measured this. Signal the gene for stem cells to go to damaged tissues and repair them. Oxidative stress gene signal. We've seen that in our students. Now here's the deal. After all of those studies in the last six years.