Lewis Howes and Matthew Hussey discuss why hiding past financial mistakes sabotages relationships. Being honest about money problems early builds the trust and vulnerability that love requires.
If we've made poor decisions financially in our past, but we're afraid to share those with someone we're just started dating, what's the best approach to take without being worried about this person leaving you?
The right person for you is not the person you trick into being with you by hiding your. The right person for you is the person who accepts the things you were terrified people wouldn't accept. And of course, how we own those things is important. You know, if you come to the table as someone who's made mistakes, but you can own those mistakes and you're not here, it's quite clear I'm not here to saddle you with my mistakes. I take ownership of them and I'm working through those. But I want to start a relationship from a really honest place. This is something I'm working on that builds integrity in the relationship. But we're all afraid. We all have something that we think if you know this about me, you won't. You won't love me. You know, I. Us guys do it not just with money, we do it with it. We do it with all weakness. You know, whatever we think is our, you know, we've learned this idea of what we think an attractive man is, and then we meet someone. And more and more there's content out there online that tells you never to deviate from this ideal of what makes an attractive man. And it always gets the idea of what makes an attractive man wrong anyway. But. But it kind of gets in your head and it makes you feel like, now I can't voice this thing, I'm going to be seen as flawed and gross and unattractive and. And so we, we hold these things back. The hard part, I think, in any, in dating and relationships is we're always trying to figure out where's the line between being vulnerable about my stuff and suddenly becoming this person who abdicates responsibility and is just trying to make you responsible for everything going on inside. That's a. That can feel like a hard thing to balance out. If I bring my wife anxiety too many days in a row, I check myself because I'm like, the first three times it was really nice that she comforted you. But the fourth time it's like. Or the fifth time or the eighth time, it's like you're. There's a lack of personal leadership in this now ownership. You're not being a teammate.
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