This content was created by Lewis Howes. This content was uploaded by Lewis Howes. This is a YouTube video titled "Is it IMPOSSIBLE to love a narcissist?" created on October 1, 2025. It features a discussion between two speakers exploring the complexities of loving a narcissist, the misconceptions about narcissists, and the psychological challenges they face.
Can you love a narcissist or is it impossible to love a narcissist?
It's a subjective question. Right. Love is such a complicated word. It means something different to you. It means something different to me. It means different things to the people out in the street. So the. And that's the bigger question I often get is, can a narcissist love?
Is that possible?
It depends. On what?
Besides loving themselves, what is cold to you?
Right. You're in short sleeves. I'm in a sweater.
Yeah.
You know, so it's a subjective word. So can a. Lots of people love narcissists? They do. They're like, I love this person. They represent something to me. Maybe this is where it starts getting to a philosophical question. Maybe when we love someone, it's very. It's very. It is very representational. We love what they stand for, we love what we believe they are. But we don't know. Maybe we never know someone enough to love them. So, you know, again, that's a philosophical conversation. But when it comes down to it, there are people out there who will say, I do. Parents are a great example. People have narcissistic parents. Like, I love my mother or I love my father. I can't stand them.
Sure.
Love is much more metaphysical.
Yeah, of course.
Right.
So what's the biggest misconceptions about a narcissist, then?
That they love themselves.
They don't love themselves.
Oh, hell no. It's self loathing. This is a disorder of self loathing. All that inadequacy and ugly insecurity. They hate, hate themselves.
But then they put it on other.
People, projected onto other people. You're a horrible, lying, disgusting person. You make me sick.
Oh, my God.
They're talking about themselves.
Oh, my gosh.
Sometimes you just want to give them a hug.
See, narcissists are miserable.
They're miserable, miserable, miserable. It's awful. I actually say that the compassion we can find in ourselves is people like, I want to get revenge on them. I say, you don't have to. They have to keep being them.
They have to live with it.
The universe wins on that one. Like, they have to keep being them. It is a imagine. Every day you're comparing yourself to everyone. You're thinking, they have that and they have that. How come I don't have this? And how come this? And they're constantly anxious, they're constantly angry. They constantly feel like a victim. They feel like everyone is out to get. That's a very difficult way to live.
Their nervous system must be always heightened, too.
Kind of. Kind of, yeah. Different than their psychopathic cousins there.
He doesn't feel it. Yeah.
Yeah, but narcissists, really, really, it's a very uncomfortable way to live because you always feel like. They always feel like they're getting the short end of the stick.
