This content was created by Lewis Howes. This content was uploaded by Lewis Howes. This is a YouTube video titled "@jayshetty: NEVER stop asking your partner questions!" created on September 27, 2025, featuring Jay Shetty discussing the importance of continuously asking questions to understand one's partner better and maintain a healthy relationship.
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I think one of the biggest mistakes.
We make is we think we know our partners, and so we stop asking them questions.
We think we understand them fully, so we're no longer curious. We assume that we can read their mind, and so we never check. And that's when you end up in a surprise when 10 years from now, you both go, I didn't marry you. I didn't want to be with you. You're a totally different person. And the person's thinking, yeah, of course I'm a different person. But we never got to know each.
Other again, so get to know each.
Other again and again and again and again and again. Don't leave it to think, oh, yeah.
I know exactly everything about them.
Like, I remember I was.
I was coaching someone once, and there.
I was coaching them as a couple, and one of the partners would always.
Say to me, they'd say, well, you don't really understand her. Like, you don't really know her. I know her. I know what she's like now. That was true.
They did know their partner better than.
Me because they'd spent more years together.
But the challenge that they were making at that point is they thought their.
Partner was stuck to being that person, and their partner was feeling like they don't feel understood anymore.
So you've got one person saying, jay, you don't understand them as the coach.
I understand them deeply. I'm like, I know you do, but.
Their partner's problem with them is, I don't feel understood anymore.
But they're telling me something different.
Exactly. Exactly.
And so I feel like getting to.
Know your partner every week, every month, like, almost.
Almost.
Look at your partner through the lens of, if I don't see them in new scenarios, I won't learn new things about them.
What's a question you could ask your partner every month? It could be the same question.
Yeah.
That would support you in getting to know them in a new way every time you do it.
Yeah. So I have four questions. One for every day, one for every week, one for every quarter, and one for every year that you can ask.
Your partner every day.
So the question every day is, what did you do for yourself today? Your partner probably spends a lot of their time thinking about you, thinking about the kids, thinking about work. If you remind them to love themselves, that's potentially the best reminder you could give them. What did you do for yourself today?
The question that you want to ask.
Every week is, what did you learn this week? What was something that you gained? What was something that you picked up this week that you're going to take into next week, every quarter, ask your partner, is this relation? This is the most uncomfortable one. Is this relationship going in the direction we want?
If it is, what should we keep doing?
If it isn't, what are we willing to do to get it there?
