@jayshetty: The biggest LIE keeping you SINGLE!

One of the biggest lies that we've been told about love is that you'll find it when you're least expecting it. You'll find it when you're not looking. And I don't know anything that you find in the world when you're not looking in that direction. You can't find your keys if you're not looking for them. You can't find your phone if you're not looking for it. You can't find your passport. Like, all the things we lose on a daily, weekly, monthly basis, you don't just find it when you least expect it. And I think we apply that to love because there's a romanticism to it. It's kind of like, oh, I want that mystery of like, we just bumped into each other and I wasn't ready and I wasn't prepared and it happened. And by the way, if that happened to you, that's beautiful. Like, that's awesome. I love that for you. And I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I think that lie keeps people single because it stops people from making effort, effort, working on themselves, effort working on finding the right person, effort on creating love. And I think the reason why that lie keeps people single the most. And I was talking about this with a friend just yesterday. We were talking about the idea of how you don't stop loving when you move in. You don't stop loving when you get married, you don't stop loving when you've been together for 10 years and you're celebrating an anniversary. It takes constant effort. So now we're saying, oh, well, it's not going to take effort to find love. Which means we're training ourselves to think it's not going to take effort to stay in love. And I think that's an unhealthy idea.

That's an interesting perspective and give me some feedback on this because I want to dive into that a little more. When I met Martha, When I met Martha, I was like, I don't want a relationship. I was like, I was saying to myself, I'm not looking for a relationship. But it didn't mean I wasn't open. It was like, when you're ready and clear that you don't want the wrong relationships anymore and you're working on yourself, then it's clearer. The right person when you see them, you're going to attract a healthier version of the person you want to be with.

Yeah. And that's also. You bumped into someone, but you built love out of it. So you didn't find love when you weren't looking for it. You found a person. Yes, but you still had to build love actively. And I think that's what I'm trying to. I want to discourage the idea that it doesn't take effort, that love doesn't take action, that love doesn't need intention, that love doesn't need working on yourself. I want to discourage that idea because I think the idea that it perpetuates is love is going to find you fully formed, fully thought about, perfect, and you don't have to do anything. I'm just saying that finding love takes effort. Keeping love takes effort. Both of them take effort.