Lewis Howes talks with a guest about why women shrink themselves to fit in and what it takes to stop. They discuss setting boundaries, accepting yourself, and the courage required to be disliked for taking up space.
For all the girlies listening, I feel like it is a similar thing with women feeling like we're too much, too emotional, too complex, whatever it is. And I really tried to make myself small and. And it worked because I'm, like, 5 foot 2. I'm, like, I'm physically small, and I. And I just need to be the nice girl, and I need to be really polite, and I need to do what people tell me, and then. Then, you know, I'm gonna be accepted and loved and adored, whatever. And it did kind of work for a while, but I felt. I didn't feel like myself because I do have opinions and I do have ideas, and I know what I want. I definitely know what I don't want. And it's so fun to be able to stand in a place of power while also being kind. I think. I think I thought if you spoke up, you were not kind, but it's just not true. Like, there's a way to do it.
I think the most powerful human in the world is someone who can courageously share their opinions and create boundaries in a kind and conscious way.
100%.
Not screaming and reacting and, like, get away from me. But actually, like, you know, what you just did, like, that doesn't work for me. And I want to let you know, maybe I'm misinterpreting something, but I need to have distance from you for a while, or I need to create this boundary. But, like, actually having the courage.
Yeah.
To disappoint someone.
Yes.
And have someone not like you.
Yeah.
In order to create safety within you.
Yeah.
Is one of the hardest things to do.
The courage to be disliked. Like, that is powerful. But guess what? You're actually doing things right if people don't like you. Because living in your truth. And I have found that when I've been. And it's kind of what we were talking about earlier, when I have felt the most aligned, been speaking my truth, like, emanating my inner light, it triggers a lot of people.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, it triggers. I've had the amount of people, it's like, are like. There's a couple of people online that were like, I don't believe her phony. But it doesn't faze me because I know who I am. So actually, if you're pissing people off or people don't like you, you're doing. You're doing something right. Because there has to be duality to everything. Not everyone's gonna love you. Not everyone's gonna adore you 100% and actually it's took the pressure off of me. I felt like I had to do that. And I'm like, it's too tiring.
You don't need everyone to like you anymore.
No.
Yeah. And you can just be yourself.
Yeah.
It doesn't mean you want to, like, try to piss everyone off.
No. No. And I'm like, please love me.
Please love me.
Please love me. No. It's. It's. It's a good balance, that's for sure.
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