Manifest Abundance By ELIMINATING THIS From Your Relationship! | Steve Young & Lewis Howes

Him and said, and so there's a chapter on young. Wow, that's cool. And so he, but he means in a really balanced way because a lot of times, someone has a dream and that becomes myopic and that's all your life is and then there's no athleticism in it. And I think one of the greatest qualities that I love in people is Someone who's superior talent, but is not afraid to, it doesn't just make that a, I just play one note on the piano. Like I can do more than, and so my dad was gritty as I look back, you know, and he was tough and he was strong-minded, but he was also in a way, and I'll say loving, I don't think he would call it love, but he would, so he would always say, find what you love to do, but then you can't quit. So to him, you don't, I'm not for, you don't have to do it. I'm not telling you what to do, but once you choose something. And so as a young kid, I remember we were in baseball and it was a baseball, basketball, football town. That's like where I, you know, the mean streets of Greenwich, Connecticut. People laugh about that. But, but, but that's what my friends did. We played those sports. And so I was in Little League, I don't remember it was, and practices were too long and it was something frustrating. I'm like, Dad, I don't want to do it anymore. And that's when he's like, oh, no. No, no, no. You forgot what I told you. You can choose what you want to do, but you chose it. Now you're in. And you finish it. And so as a young kid, that was like religion. That was just, that's how it worked. And so when I wanted to quit college football, it was freshman year, because they were eighth string. No one cared about me. And I was doing the scout team for the defense and they were abusing me and knowing the coaches into my name, you know, and I remember, and I was gonna, I could have gone to North Carolina and started. Why didn't I do that? Let me go, I tell him I wanted to quit and come home and he said the same thing again. Really? He's like, look, you can quit, but you can't come home, 'cause I'm not living with you. Wow. And he was serious, like in other words, I didn't have another place to go, so I stayed. If he would have said, you,'re right, they're screwing with you, they're not respecting.

You, let's come home, we'll figure it out.

I would have gone home.

And what would have happened?

Not what happened.

You wouldn't be here.

Not what happened.

Wow.

And so I think in many ways, but I appreciate because a lot of parents want to tell you what to do. They have the dream for you. It's their dream. It's not your dream. And that's why I always say be very careful as a parent that my oldest is a music theater major. didn't really like sports. I wanted him to, I, I did want him to experience sports because there's, there's a, so many lessons to it. So, and so we did that. But he clearly wanted to do, he wanted to go perform, you know, and now that he's performing on, on stage, we have so much in common, you know, that I didn't really think about me as a performer. And so so much of the anxieties or performance. And so we are, went full circle. Like it seemed like he was going as far away from me as possible. And now we're back kind of doing the same business in the same way, show business in a way. So I always looked at myself as an artist on the field. Yeah.

Improvising and expressing myself.

Yeah.

You have set plays, but it's like, it never goes exactly the way you want it to. That to its farthest leg because I.

Had the legs to do it. Yeah. And that's why I'm so grateful. I was with Peyton Manning yesterday. And so Peyton and I played the same position for a long time, 18 years, and I think he played 19. But we did it completely different, 'cause our talent level, I mean, he couldn't move as much as I could. And so he honed with his talent, and I just honored Peyton Manning, like, amazing what he did on the field. I don't know how you would ever play quarterback in the NFL with what you have to go through and say to yourself, I'm gonna do it from one spot.

It's crazy.

I'd be like, Especially today. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not doing that job. So, the fact that we did the same job, but did it so differently, There's an honor and I'm so grateful for the ability to have expressed it more physically out in its outer reaches. It was fun for me.

But I mean going in as eighth string, how did you stay true to yourself? Obviously, your dad didn't give you a backup plan from there, but how did you overcome one person at a time until you became a starter?

And I think this was, you know, come back from my dad. But, well, you know, it was a funny story. My mom, when I was really little playing eight-year-old football, I got tackled, got the wind knocked out of me. I'm laying on the ground. I can't breathe. I thought I was gonna die. My dad came running out. You know how you lay on your back and you pull your pants up and let you breathe, and you're like, oh, I feel better. I feel better. My mom starts out, and she almost steps on me as she heads for the kid who tackled me.

Don't you grab them by the shoulder?

Oh my gosh. Didn't you ever hit my son? That was late.

That was illegal, you know?

And I'm like, In the middle of a game? Yeah, Ma.

Oh my.

Get out. What are you doing? Like, get out. So maybe it's my, I don't know where this comes from, but I, when I started the eighth string to your point, I was running scout team for the defense. And so I was, for BYU, I was playing Wyoming, I was playing Utah, I was playing San Diego State. And so every week I would, you,'re running their place. I would run the place for the other team. and it was the wishbone or whatever else. I said, you know what? I'm gonna be the greatest Wyoming. I'm gonna be, when they play Wyoming and their defense comes back in the game, I want them to say, you know what? That kid that was doing scouting was better than the Wyoming.

Wow. That's cool.

That was in my mind. So. And that's how I attacked it. Because there was something to be done, even though no one cared, no one's paying attention, no one knew my name. In my mind, that was. how I was going to make a difference. And that's how I approached it. So in that, I ran the wishbone so well that there was a JV team, BYU has a JV team, and then a JV team that would go play UNLV, Air Force, JV teams. So, freshman. So I was on that team. I was third string freshman. And so we would go play and they said, well, he does, he plays, he runs the wishbone so well, let's just run the wishbone that we practiced last week against Wyoming. when we go to the game. And I thought, you know, in some ways, the most disrespectful thing you can tell me is that, you know, my goal of making them think that I was a great one. Now, I'm not even running. I'm not even getting ready to play my own team. So it kind of backfired. But I think that that. That mentality was when you asked me how I went from eighth.

Yes.

And moved up was finding purpose. when it's easy to say there wasn't purpose. Find a way to make a difference when it doesn't look like there's much place to do it. My goal, Kyle Whittingham was the long-term coach of the University of Utah for the last 20 years. He was the middle linebacker, the leader of the defense when I joined. And so I'm running the scout team and I wanted to make, I wanted to frustrate Kyle Whittingham. I remember running to the sidelines one time and running out of bounds and him, because you know, They hit us, but it wasn't like it was full speed. He hit me as hard as he could and put me out of bounds and into the fence, you know? And then he came over the top and says, Quit embarrassing me.

Wow.

And I was like, I'm doing my job. I won! I remember that so vividly.

Now, you talked about, I've heard you talk about, you know, having a lot of anxiety and nerves. I think he threw up a lot before almost every game.

Every game.

Every game, and pro, or more just so.

So, I don't know how, we don't want to get too far into this, But I didn't know as a kid during the day, three sport, all-state, straight A's, never missed school. I mean, if you saw my life, you'd be like, that guy, he's got it going on. But when the sun went down, I was at home. And I didn't realize why, but if people said, Hey, we're going for a week ski week, or we're going to, you know, scout camp, we're like, oh, no, I got practice. Oh, no, no. 'Cause I had an innate fear of that not being home. During the day, it's fine. But like, if my parents left for a vacation, which they tried once, I convinced all my brothers and sisters, I was the oldest, that the people babysitting us were axe murderers and we got them so upset that their parents had to turn around. So I had this pretty severe, what we call separation anxiety. You've seen kids that are afraid to go to people's houses, afraid to go to school, afraid to That's me.

Where do you think that came from?

It's genetic. Really? It's on my mom's side of the family. And we found out when I was 30 years old through another traumatic event with the NFL that it finally got named. I didn't know. I grew up when I went to college, it was death-defying. I didn't unpack my bags. Oh. But I knew you were supposed to go. Yeah, like, you,'re supposed to go to college and you're supposed to love it. And I was like, oh, inside my stomach was, I, you know, the anxiety, whatever, that's what it was, but it just to me felt like a stomach ache. Like, this is not, I don't want to do this, but I knew I can't sit at home. Right. And so I did that. I remember that first semester, that's why I was begging my dad to let me come home too, because I just like, get me back home. You're homesick, yeah. Yeah, I'm homesick and I just want to get back. So I remember going back for Christmas, finally getting a chance to go back home, I remember walking in the door and when I walked in, I realized, oh, I have two homes now because I want to go back to college.

-You didn't want to go back.

-So that was where the first step for me was like, you, mean I don't have to have this all the time. I can actually develop a second home. And then that home became a great home and then I had to go pro, which I know I told myself, Don't do it. pain and anguish for what you've been through to play college football. And oh, here I'm all American. I finished second the Heisman Trophy. But the emotional strain on doing that and the, it wasn't playing was the best. It was the three days before, especially a day before, because genetic separation anxiety in performance shows up as, and everyone always says, well, of course you're nervous. You know, that's normal. You know, like, yeah, but I don't know if this is, what that is. And so that was my life and defined so much of my career. If you said to me today, Steve, if you could leave that genetic part of you that's in your mom's side of the family that you were born with, now that you're 60 years old, would you do that? And I thought about that recently. I said, no, I wouldn't. Despite all the anguish and pain of it and the It defined, because there's good sides to it. There's hyper-vigilance. Well, you want to think I was ready to play? You want to think I was prepared? Yeah. And so in that way, that defined, you know, people say, well, you're in the Pro Football Hall of Fame, how come? If you had to say why? Well, this is one of the main reasons why. So if that's the why, then like anything, and that's why it would have been nice when I talk about mental health, and I'm so open about it because like everyone has insecurities, everyone has reasons to be asking questions about mental health. I say to if you're in the woods, lost, in the middle of the woods, had no idea where to go, and a park ranger came by, would you ask for directions? Yeah. Yeah.

I'd say hey pick me up.

So we have this shaming that goes on around insecurities and mental health and everybody's going through it. to actually be vulnerable like you did and say, well, what are my insecurities? How can I be better? And then what are other genetic or clinical things that I can find help with? So if I could have defined that as a kid at eight years old, that would have been better.

That's crazy. Yeah. I mean, on a scale of 1 to 10, let's call it the peace scale, the inner peace scale. 10 being you had ultimate inner peace. You were calm and relaxed. 1 being, zero peace in college. Where were you on that scale? One to ten on average?

It's. It's. It's episodic, right? Because when. When I wasn't now walking around the day before the game, when I would see everyone as these lucky guys who don't need to go face this music, you know, like, look, you don't have to worry about anything. But if it was. during the time during the week when it just wasn't as heightened, it was wonderful. Yeah. Yeah. And so, and people were like, you,'re Steve Garvey and you're great, I saw the game, and you know, so you get all that too. So, it was just a, There's a lot of pressure, but my teammates, you know, they got used to it. Like, hey, Steve's throwing up yet? 'Cause if he's throwing up, then we're good. Really? Yeah.

And if he hasn't, then we have, tell him to go through. Go throw it. Oh my gosh. You gotta get this over with.

And that translate into pro career also?

To where you were.

So you like the human, the human condition, you do get better at, like, I got better at separation anxiety. I got. You got tools.

You learn to manage.

I don't know about tools. I just had, like, you have to. You can't live that way. So did it get easy or. No. I retired 18 years later. And the day I retired, I was like, I remember one of my last games I ever played was a Monday night game and I was engaged to my wife Barb and I was walking around the stadium early because it's Monday night and I was hypervigilant, I'll call it, not anxiety ridden but hypervigilant and I wanted someone to talk to and she's like, I need to go. I'm like, can I just talk a little bit longer? This is 18 years later.

You'd already won three Super Bowls.

Yeah, of course. It's already, yeah. So it doesn't, who you are is kind of how you do it. you know, that's, when I finally realized when I was 30 years old through tough circumstances, I had not slept for a couple, I always slept, which is great.

That's good.

That's how you do it.

Yeah, yeah.

So in one week, it was in a bad spot. We lost some games. I was in a bad place, trying to replace Joe Montana, all the expectation, you know, just, over the last months, it had kind of, I got myself in a pretty whole of victimization. Like everything was everyone else's fault. I'm being victimized. It's terrible. This is horrible. And, and, and then all of a sudden I wasn't sleeping. And it was a big game again, the Falcons, I think, that weekend at home. And so two nights I didn't sleep. And the people that I was living with nearby, a family that I was really dear with said, look, Steve, we know you. and we know that we see you go what you go through to go play and we get used to it, that's fine, but this is not right. This is not cool. And so we're not gonna, we can't abide this any longer.

Really?

So what are you gonna do about it? And I said, look, if we win, because then you can have something wrong, I'll go to the team doctor and I'll talk about what's going on, because I don't know what the heck it is. But if we lose, I can't do that. I end up playing well, winning, fulfill my promise.

And they have to face it, yeah.

Face the, and so the team doctors, Jim Clint, been around forever, came in with Joe Montana and Ronnie Lott and Bill Walsh, and he was, I was an honored guy, like he was a guy I didn't want to necessarily go talk about, like some weakness that I had or something that I thought was, you know, here's the park ranger, do I ask the question, right? And so I promised myself I would, I promised his family I would. So I get back in the corner of Candlestick Park in the training room underneath when crap's dripping on you, towel and ice bag, and I go, his name was Reggie. Reggie, I gotta talk to you. So I go in the corner and I look. And I start to recount the week and what's going on. And I noticed that all of a sudden a big ball of tear comes into his eye and drops to the ground. And then another. The doctor's eye. The doctor. And I'm like, Reggie, are you crying? And he essentially breaks down and tells me that he barely got through medical school fighting a different kind of anxiety that was like plagued so much of his life. And that he was crying because how upset he was as the team doctor, 'cause he sensed in watching me He says, I should have known, I felt it and I didn't do anything about it. I've watched you for years now.

And I never talked to you about it.

And I'm so sorry. Oh, man. And so his-- so, think about me. I'm nervous about asking this question because I don't know what the heck's going on. I'm like at my wits end. And finally I ask it to him and he comes back to me weeping. I'm like, oh my gosh. So that starts that whole-- I didn't mean to get belabored on that.

How did that make you feel when.

He brought that vulnerability? So he immediately told me, Steve, you have undiagnosed childhood separation anxiety. It's very typical. A lot of kids have it and you need to know that that's what it is. And now you're performing and so it's got its tentacles in performance. But that, you know, and ends up being a pretty severe case of it. And that's that. And so once it was defined, that was what I needed. I needed to know what clarity, what is this? What is it? Because I look back, I'm like, oh, that's why when I went to my aunt's house and freaked out for the whole weekend, you know, that I thought he was an ex-murderer too. -Because that's how my body responds to.

The... -When did you feel like you were able to start healing, the journey of healing?

Well, the healing is... I think that more than anything, it wasn't necessarily that I felt like, It was who I am. In other words, there's nothing, I have this genetic part of me. And I think that what I could do is use the good parts as a much more profound thing and then see the parts that are more difficult and figure out ways to the tools to get through them better. But not healing wouldn't be how I would describe it. I think that through time, when I retired, My life was Zen.

Really? After you retired, you were like, no more pressure.

Getting married, Zen, having kids, Zen. It was all easy. Oh, 80,000 people aren't watching?

Right.

You know, there's not a national audience every week. Like, it was like, it just disappeared.

So you didn't have any anxiety after that?

Not really, no. Because I think it just over time, It finds its, you know, it kind of beats getting beaten out of you a little bit.

Well, you talk about the law of love is loving as God loves, seeking another's healing and expecting nothing in return. And when I read that and I heard that story about the doctor, it felt like he was able to, he was kind of sad, but also there was some healing in him to be able to see it in you and have you open up about it. And allow vulnerability, the space in between the unknown to come together and allow for love and healing to start to occur.

So, Louis, you're, you're now getting a theme for me. Uhuh. For relationships. Yes. That's all we really are, is a series of relationships. Yeah. And then in those relationships, you and I have a relationship. We've been around each other half an hour. We're in a relationship. Someone I just got an Uber ride over. We were in a brief relationship. He was in the car with me. You know, what? I'm married. I've got a long, lifelong relationship. I've got, you know, we've got all kinds of relationships. But everything is in the end. And that's in that space is where purpose and legacy and growth and life's most important aspects all happen in those relationships. And so how do we see them? And I was, I, I have to tell you a quick story about Bill Walsh. So he's my head coach in 49ers. When I joined in 1987, he was the king, two Super Bowls. Everyone knew he was three generations ahead of everybody. His offense, the West Coast offense, you'll be very familiar with how he, how he saw players as Partners. He didn't see him as chattel or someone to pound with a big stick. He saw them as Not almost as equals. Like how do I think about your food, how you eat, how you sleep, how your mental health-- Back in the 80s, he was asking these questions. And he was asking these questions and he, I remember the first meeting, he said how he was going to integrate the team. And we thought about racially because that's what we were black guys and white guys, we're all going to come together in the locker room. He says it's even more than that, it's all the things that separate us. Where you went to school, geography, socioeconomic background. Language you speak, religion, everything that kind of generally culturally separates people. We want to break them all down because we're going to be in Lambeau Field, we're going to be down by four points. It's going to be the last couple minutes of the game. It's going to be raining at 30 degrees. You've never been colder because it's windy. There's 80,000 people that are screaming at you and I want you to get in a huddle and I want to look at each other and I want you to share an element of love for each other. Wow. and that's the speech. The first speech he ever made that I was a part of in 1987 was that speech.

Holy cow.

And so I was like, I don't know what that is, but I'm in for that. Right? And so he then, and I noticed in the corner as he was making that speech, a guy with a camera filming the whole thing, then filmed him going out on the field and going into the locker room and going, and I chuckled a little bit, like, what is he? I know he's famous. I know he's, like, ahead of the game and everything, but. Is he in a museum? Has he got something going? What he was doing was creating a video-based, audio-based, paper-based collection of everything that he was. Everything that I am as a coach, everything that I know, everything that I'm now three generations ahead of the NFL and everyone knows it, I'm going to put it in a, I want it in a box. Why do I want it in a box? Because I have minority coaches who I want to see thrive in the NFL.

And I want to hand it to.

Them as they go out the door. It's incredible. To get head coaching jobs.

It's incredible.

And the last thing he says, I'll see you in the championship game. Because he knows with this box, they have all these tools to get there.

And that's what happened.

He was vlogging in the 80s. Mike Holmgren came back as assistant coach, goes to the Packers, and we came back and saw him in the championship game. And I remember seeing Brett Favre. After the game, they beat us. I go, Brett, what did Mike tell you? The big speech in the hotel last night? He told me the speech. He's like, He went to Bill's toolkit, bought out the big game file, and gave the speech.

Crazy.

So I guess the point is, Bill Walsh, why would someone who's three generations ahead think of technology, think of business, think of sports, think of anybody who has some proprietary knowledge? that they know is a huge advantage. Some talent that they have, some, anything. And I'm going to box it up somehow and hand it out.

For free.

For free to elevate you. When you talk about the Law of Love. Selfless, selfless acts are hard. I've been trying to teach myself, this book has probably helped me more than anything. How do I get into a space where I have no transaction?

Yes.

Because even the best, so much of the good in the world is still slightly transactional. I actually get a wonderful feeling because I help this person.

Yes.

What if it could be completely non-transactional? You lose yourself. In that way, Bill might have been thinking about legacy. He might have been thinking about abundance, but I have a feeling he was completely isolated on this coach. and their success. And when you can get to that place, what happens is life stops being zero-sum game. We are in a entropic world where we're all going to die, everything's corroding, everything we see is headed south, eventually. Very transactional world, eat what you kill, zero-sum game, you get what you get, I get what I get, shake hands, move on. Right. Is there a place of abundance? Is there a space? And people say, well, yeah, if you give in. But what if there was just a spirit of abundance and you sought it? That's, I'm going to look for it. Can you find it in, I'll leave you a quick, another quick story. Remind me of Bill Walsh, because I want to finish it. Reggie White. Reggie White was the, you know Reggie White. Reggie White was the greatest defensive player. I would make the argument the greatest defensive player ever played in the NFL. Ever. You say, right, Lawrence Taylor, you could say, but he was massive. His football card said, I want to say it's 6'6 310. But he was 6'3 250. Anyone who writes 6'6 310, you know this, but when you're a rookie, the trading card company gives you a piece of paper, you fill it out. So you look at my cards, you're 6'2. 205. Every card in existence will say Steve Young BYU 62205. Because I wrote that down and I wasn't lying. That's what I believe. Oh, wow. It was aspirational. But it's what I believe. Reggie writes 6-6-3-10. If you write 310, you're 400. There's no way you write 310 literally mean that. But he was the most athletic, biggest, strongest guy you've ever seen. LeBron James, if you've ever been around him, 6'8. 280.

Beast.

You just kind of cower, not cower, but you just kind of slink back.

It's like, There's a real athlete.

It's like you just cannot believe how fast and how strong. That's Reggie White. Reggie was 380, 400 pounds, but ran like he was 210. So when you played him and he was loud, you know, like he yelled, he would scream and the guttural stuff, and you could hear him coming, drop back to pass. Ah, you could hear him coming closer and closer and closer. Classic Reggie, he's gonna get there. Grab me every time he ever sacked me. What, 20 times in his career? Really? Oh man.

I don't know.

That's painful. He played the Packers, played the Eagles.

That's painful.

He'd get me, turn me on and let him, you know, and he'd fall on his back and I'd fall on top of him.

Oh wow.

So here's the most intense, adrenaline-filled, you've been on the football field, 80,000 people, millions watching TV, the biggest games, championship games, There's a place of intensity there that's hard to describe. He's the most intense of the guys there. Coming to get, do his job, competitive as ever. Talk about transact, like, this is my transaction world. -I'm good, you're going down because that's my job. -Yeah. -Grabs me, and in that flash of an instant, turns, lets me fall on top of him. He's got me around and he goes, Steve, how you doing, buddy? -Really? Because we were friends from when we were rookies.

No way.

And we went to the Hula Bowl together. He was Tennessee, ISU, we'd be fast friends. He's the minister. He was a evangelical minister. I loved chatting with him about religion, about life, about everything. And my dad was a lawyer, Grit, and it helped me get an agent. And he goes, well, can your dad help me? So my dad helped him. So he'd have me in his thing. He's like, how's your dad? No way. Yeah, how's everything going? And I'm like, well, right now Reggie, not so good. I'm getting sacked right now. But my point. The relationship. Is the same point I want to describe to everybody. In the athleticism of who Reggie White was, he could be the ultimate competitor and in a flash be the ultimate friend. Wow. Can we, 'cause most of the guys I played against who were friends couldn't make that transition.

They were like, I need to destroy you. They couldn't, after the game, then I could.

Hey, buddy, how you doing? But in the moment, can you be two or three things? Can you hold in in suspense the pieces of you. And that's when I say go back to Bill Walsh. Like, the legacy of that abundant act is throughout the NFL today. Kyle Shanahan, Sean McVay here in town. You go up and down every team, the Chargers, the Rams, the 49ers, the Seahawks, will Pete Carroll. I mean, that's just the West Coast. You just go throughout the league. I can read off probably 30 of 32 teams that have coaches who were directly influenced by this toolkit and by the people who took it.

What were the three biggest lessons he taught you?

One is the spirit of abundance. I didn't know it at the time. I didn't know what to call it as I've gotten older, I see it. I see its power, the legacy power of why if we act Even in some kind of righteousness transactionally, it will rot like the rest of this world sooner or later in self-interest. If you can find a spirit of abundance where you can have a transaction. There's a lot of business transactions, a lot of transactions, but in that relationship, there's a spirit of abundance. Like how do I speak? If I'm going to speak in abundant language, what would I say? If I'm going to be a long-suffering, gentle persuasion, loving, love unfeigned kind of person, and I'm going to act that way, what would my language be like? Even an intense, highly competitive, transactional world? Because that's not going away. I can't be a monk and just go and disappear for 10 years. I'm in the mix. And I like being in the mix. That's where I want to be. But can I speak abundantly in all of those places on the field in the most intense crazy spots? That's why I bring up the Reggie White story. Yeah.

Well, there's a win-win-win.

How can everyone, we've got thousands of books written about it. In the end, I think it's an intent. And it has to be a...

Yes.

It has... Some people do it, I think, very... naturally. It's in them. It's just who they are. They're naturally love, love kind of people. But those of us that are super transactional, want to win, want to do great, want to show how, like, I want credit. What human being doesn't want credit? Right.

To be acknowledged, to be seen, to be valued.

Right.

Yes.

That's human nature is to want that. That's why what we're describing here, abundant thinking is not of this world. 'Cause this world's a transactional world. This is a dog-eat-dog world. This is a kind of science has proven it by the second law of thermodynamics. This is where we're headed. And I just, that's not where you create. You create the abundance in elevating beyond and above what is natural seeking of human desires.

It's a different field.

It's a different field. And I thought about it a lot. It's like, well, that's easy to do when things are quieter.

Yeah, when it's easy.

But what about laying it on top of the most intense places on earth? Whether it's politics. Think in our political game today, completely zero-sum game. Completely, everything is just mine or yours. And not only that, we kind of pointed out, and then attack, attack, attack. Like we're gonna, where are you headed? We are essentially becoming the full measure of this transactional rotting world, if that's how we're gonna, that's how we're gonna be. Doesn't matter what, we're the biggest winner. We're great, you know, School of Great, and we're great today because I beat you and I won, and look at all, look what I have. I'm great. In this world, boy, you know, depends on how you describe it. Okay, if that's great, then great. But what's the legacy? What's the abundance? What's the long, because if we're gonna last a long time, by definition we can't do this. What doesn't work? People say, oh Steve, what about trust me? you're on a path of entropy, right? Like we're gonna rot.

Yes. You're gonna die.

Your marriage, you're in a marriage. And my wife and I are like, we'll go 50-50. We're in it together. You're on your way to destruction. Because 50-50 says that, well, if you do 49, I'm off the hook.

Yeah. Gotta be 100-100.

Have to. Spirit of abundance would demand that it doesn't matter what you do, I'm in. And when your spouse feels that, I start to weep because I weep because I that is an abundant relationship that can, that is not, like that's a perpetual, that's a perpetual, like think about it, it's heaven. People talk about heaven, like what? Well, if there's a heaven, It's a perpetual place. It's a place of perpetuity. It's not a place of transaction. It can't be self-interested. It has to be a place where people live in a state of others' interest first, seeing others.

That was great. I want to go back to the lessons that Bill taught you in a second, because you gave me one, I think. But you mentioned your wife, and I think you said you got married later.

I did.

So, 18 years in your career.

Right at the end, the last season.

Right at the end.

Mm-.

Why did you wait? I'm curious.

I didn't wait. I was about, I wanted, I sought marriage. Like I knew it was a good thing and I wanted it in my life and I didn't find it. And- you- weren't one of these- Now again, women that I dated through the years would probably, if you hear the story about the anxiety and the hyperfocus and the, And the distraction, like, oh, that makes some sense.

That's right, we didn't work out.

But I would tell you that when I met Barb, 10 years in the making, by the way, finally we're gonna do it. She didn't want to date an athlete. And it was just hard getting him to go, and so I was coming to pick her up and I left a message and heard her voicemail back in 1999, and I heard her voice. And I said, oh, that sounds, there's a familiarity to it. I don't know how to describe it. So people say, Love at First Sight, like Love at First Hear.

First sound.

First sound. And that's, you know, I went on the first date where she was in Scottsdale, Arizona. I was in a rental car, a town car, like a Lincoln Town Car. And I never went home. Just stayed and dated her throughout the off season. and then we got engaged six months later.

Wow, that's beautiful.

So, I tried. It was not an effort. Getting married at 38 was not, it was suboptimal.

Right, right. You wanted to do earlier. So, you've been married how long now?

20, over 2000, so 22 years. 22 years.

What's the greatest gift she's given you in 22 years?

She is a reflexively loving person, especially to marginalized people. and her, she see, like, I dedicate this book to her because she started me this, like, super transactional guy that does, wants to be good, wants credit, but wants to do good in the world and wants to, wants to see the best in the, to us that we Define this transactional world. We say, what's the best part of transaction? Well, if I do something good for you and then I get a little something, that's. that's win-win. That's not what I'm talking about. And so she had this reflexive love for people that were marginalized, not like me or her. And I could see that she saw them when you put in, I hate air quotes, but to see somebody, you can only see them in that way when you've lost yourself in it. Yeah. And you just, then you see the full measure of the person that's across from you. And that's just natural to her. Even if I desire heaven, it's a transaction, right? It's like somehow it's... And we are talking about that. And until you lose in a spirit of abundance in the relationships you have here, right now, there's a miraculous thing that happens in relationships when that happens. It's rare. When you've actually lost... What happens? I think, it's how God loves. God loves without transaction. Like in other words, I seek your glory, I seek your learning and growing. Well, what do you get? I know, I get it through your learning and growing. If I want something, there's only way to get it is to lose yourself in the healing of other human beings. So I, for me, I started to practice, like, can I do that in business?

Really?

In negotiations, in big, huge contracts. Can I do that up and down the partnership? Can I do that? Could I have done that better in the football field? How much was I doing at the time? What would I do differently? And it came to me that you can go and and do all the things you want to do in the spirit of this, what we're describing. And what you do is you unlock the full potential of the relationship, of its healing, of its growth, of its abundance, of whatever it could possibly be. And then it just emanates. So that if you could get, theoretically, 30,000 people to just go do this and practice it, and try to, like, you kind of think to yourself, and be like, I could change the world. Sure. So that's, I don't know, I'm slightly energized about it just because it's an amazing realization. This is everything that I, that, you.

Know, I've been doing this for 10 years at School of Greatness and I've had the pleasure of sitting across people like yourself who are at the top.

Not me amazing, but the amazing people.

You'Ve talked to before I showed up. But I mean, there's a common theme that a lot of people have been having over the last few years, which is similar to what you're saying and they're saying in the different sectors of therapists, scientists, doctors, world-class athletes, billionaires, which is about creating a space of healing and of opening, of connection, of intimacy, and one of the greatest things, which is service. And I heard recently one person said there are three circles in life. The first circle is survival. The second circle is success. And the third circle, he said, was significance. And I was like, I really think it's more service. It's a third circle. and if we can really get into a place of service earlier in our lives, while we're trying to survive and be successful, I feel like we'll have a lot more healing, peace, abundance and love with everyone around us as well.

So people hear that, hear me and you talk like this and we'll say, oh, that sounds, that's life is really hard.

Yeah, yeah.

But I'm sorry, but on the ground, that doesn't work. And what I would say is I understand that because scientifically it's been proven that you are right. we're in an entropic world. We are going to rot and decay, and we're like, you know, it is dog-eat-dog and eat what you kill. Like, I get that as a foundation, but clearly as a foundation, if we see it as an educative condition. In other words, we can't be abundant or grow or heal or any of the things that we just talked about, unless the conditions are such that We have a body, we have agency to choose, and we have opposition to fight against. Like those are the, so in some ways people say, oh, there's great evil in the world. Well, it must be.

We need it.

It has to be, opposition has to.

Be, what happens if we don't have that?

You can't grow. It grows in agency, like in other words, you and I, Whatever, you could be wrapped up as a mummy in a corner chained, but still breathing alive. You still have a choice. Your next breath has a choice. You might not be free in your mind, I mean, as far as what I can go run and do, but you still have a conscious thought of what my next conscious thought is going to be. What's my next act? What's my next... So there's agency in the human condition and there's opposition in the human condition. recognizing it for what it is. So that then the person says, oh, Steve, that's really sweet what you guys are talking about. That's a bunch of crap because I don't have time for that. Totally understand. But because I actually appreciate that you are in the mix recognizing the rigor, but you're not seeing the miracle in the rigor.

-Right.

-Because in that, that's the ingredients for why you can even talk about this.

-Man, there's something of when I think back of those two years of struggle after football is done, being injured on my sister's couch, no money. This was 2007, 2008, 2009, when the economy was crashing, so there weren't job opportunities at that time. As challenging as it was, I'm like, man, those were some great times too, just because it allowed me to see what I was made of. What can I overcome? What can I discover and learn and grow into? And I want to take back that challenge, that suffering time or whatever you want to call it. It allowed me to overcome something to help me get one step closer to service and becoming something I'm proud of. So, I don't know if you had a moment like that.

Well, that's the sweetness. So, there's the sweetness in life. And I've had a thousand moments like that, where now recognizing just through years not understanding this dynamic and this truth about humanity and about, no matter religion, look what we can agree on is, Science, this is entropic. These are the conditions and are these conditions that can actually elevate? And I say absolutely yes. They're the fundamental conditions, agency, opposition and a body. Three things that you have to have to go enact this incredible gift that you've been given of rigor and pain and heal and that can we be aids in each other in the healing as we grow? Yeah. Because if you think about what God would want is, I want your healing and growth. It's going to be a bumpy ride. Can you all help each other heal? That then it becomes super. And it does not have to be religious. It can just be, it can be completely from an atheist perspective. How do I want the human condition to rise? The only way is if we leave this, the condition we are in.

Yes.

We have to rise above it.

Go beyond it, yeah.

And if we are going to, in any system, By definition, we have a political system. You can see it like rotted. Education system.

You can just start to see them.

And say, which ones are working? And that's why you talk about the recent conversations you've had with folks. It's rattling around a lot of people's minds. It's like, wait a second, I'm super rich, I'm a billionaire. I dominate the world. I got planes all over the world. That's not me, by the way. But if I got planes, I can go anywhere I can do anything I want. What's meaningful? What's meaningful? is not for credit anymore. Is there someone to heal? And the truth is, for every human being, it's probably the person you're sitting right next to. That's where to start. I was talking to some Christian missionaries recently who, you know, they couldn't be out because of COVID And that's, all I want to do is be out. and do this work, I have this energy about it. And I said, well, do you have any humans you're having contact with? Because I'm stuck at home, like, well, yeah, my mom and my brother-in-law.

I'm like, be in service here.

What healing can you bring? What abundance can you bring to that relationship? That doesn't matter where you are. That's where, and then So people say, okay, so now you're lined up across the field, Reggie White, where's the abundance? Doesn't mean you can't compete. I'll leave you another story. So Ronnie Lott, one of the great competitors alive. He's the only guy that cut off his finger. Remember it got crushed and he said, I got to play. I'm going to cut off the tip of his finger. He, one year we were supposed to, you know, the Giants, New York Giants, needed us to win the last game of the year so they could get in the playoffs. But we didn't need to win it because we'd already wrapped everything up. And so we were gonna play the backups and everything else. So we didn't. So we ended up losing the game because it wasn't that vital. And Phil Simpson said, Fourtiners lay down like dogs. And Ronnie was just livid. So the next year we played the Giants in one of the big games and. And warmups at halftime, a candlestick. and you start at the 50, go the opposite. So you're all standing right there. And Ronnie goes over and sees Phil Simms. You see him. And usually in that situation, you know this, everyone got like, oh, you can't talk to Ronnie. Everybody's like, Ronnie, we're backing off. We're backing off. And I could hear some of them, and I go afterwards, I go, Ronnie, what do you say? And he goes, he doesn't understand that competition is a team game. and that if you disrespect anyone in the competition, you've lost the ability for the competition to elevate. Because in the learning, I'm going in, I might win or I might lose, but either way, I can grow.

Wow.

And I was like, huh?

This is on the field.

On the field, I was like, no, this is later when I talk about what he said. He goes, he says, why were you so animated? Because he doesn't understand. And I was like, funny, because I didn't understand it either. But think what he was saying, that the competition can be a place of elevation if it's properly- Yes, absolutely. Nurtured.

Absolutely.

Because you just described in that couple of years in 2010, it's in the, like, what I lost is where I gained, where I gained the greatest gift. And so losing can be the place of abundance, but if you, So if we become a winning and losing society where the winners get everything and the losers are some sad sack that doesn't, we've lost the spirit of Ronnie Lott to show, and I think think about our culture. Our culture is really a winning culture. Great, I get it. But we need to do better at recognizing the competitiveness, the spirit of that space of competitiveness that we honor losers.

Yes.

For what can be gained. Because if we don't honor them, as they're, you know, the Lakers play the Clippers and the Clippers lose, you're a loser. But if we don't honor the losers' ability to grow and gain, then we end up doing this.

We're the losers then, yeah.

Well, we do the same thing. Yeah, yeah, of course. I feel like a loser than I got. Right, right, right. So it's just, again, you start to.

See it repeats over and over again. I'm curious, how do you, I mean, you've transitioned into the successful business career, that I don't think a lot of people know about the success you've had in, in business. What has been the biggest fear and insecurity that you've had in the last, I guess, 20 plus years now of, of building this, you know, being a part of this firm and building this massive private equity.

So it's funny. I told you when I, when, when you stop playing, no matter whether you played 18 years or one year or even leave college, there's this the dream of the game that you love that you wanted to, you know, you knew you can't play forever. It's the young man's game. But whenever it happens, there's a day before, and when I finished, I played 18 years, and you could say one of the better guys that played, and the day before, I was probably one of the better guys in the world that could play quarterback in the NFL. The next day I retired, I'm not great at anything.

Right, you're a beginner again.

I'm not even good at anything. How do I get started? And I think, like you, I dug in and tried to find that vulnerability to say, what I'm good at, what can I get good at? How do I do it? And how do I get started? And that's what I did. Luckily, I had gone to law school while I was playing, which is amazing. It's a great young story where he told me he kept peppering me saying, you know, because his big thing when you were growing up is you have to have a dream and a plan. He said, They're both vital. Dream is 1% chance, plan is 80% chance. And you need both. And I said, and I kept telling him, well, my dream is 1% chance I'm gonna play in the NFL. And that's my plan too. And he goes, that's not a plan. So, but then when I played in the NFL, I go, Dad, ha. I made it. The dream became the plan. And he kept saying, no, it's not son, because you only can play three years average. Then I played five years. And he goes, But you know, let's say you finish it 30 years. You go the other half of your life. What are you gonna do? so he kept playing. So I ended up going to law school.

It's incredible.

How to appease this crazy guy. So anyway, that law school gave me the opportunity post playing when I had to figure out what I was even good at or could be good at. But the funny thing is, because I didn't do it traditionally, and those in private Equity usually leave school, go to associate, business analyst for a couple years, then go back to business school and then get a job and then. here in banking, you know, and all around the world, they have certain skills that are gained through that. Now, I want to cut the line, essentially. And I don't think I ever lost the insecurity of doing that. Now, despite people say, well, no, Steve, you have, you know, blah, blah, blah. In the end, I think the thing that I, that was super hard was always, you talk about insecurities, it was like facing the insecurity of, I'm not a legitimate Business guy. Yeah.

Because you're now 40, essentially, when everyone's been doing it since they're 24 or whatever. Yeah.

Right. And so I think that holding on to that vulnerability was probably a good thing because what you don't want to do is go rolling into a room and thinking that you're more than you are. I do. I am a fan of fake it till you make it. Yeah. I think there's a piece of life that's important when you're getting started, but I think that fake it means not fake other people, but fake it yourself. Like, yeah, fake yourself out. Because you have the insecurities, you got the doubt, you got the fear.

Like, just act like you really know what you're doing. It's part of the game. This was part of, you know, I heard this early on. I can't remember who said this, but I didn't come up with it. Someone said, face it till you make it.

And so I started facing my fears.

Saying, what can I do every day just by showing up? I like that better. Yeah, it's like, that's not positive.

I'm vulnerable. I don't have the skills, but I'm going to keep facing it. I love that. Until I gain.

I'm not going to say fake it till you make it anymore, because I don't like, I never liked it, but it gave the right image. Yes.

Face it till you make it his look at you, give him back.

Well, I've learned a lot here, but it's not from me. But someone else said face it till you make it and then you embrace it or something like that too.

So it's like, it's that really resonates with me. Yeah. Because I tell people to fake it till you make it, but I never liked it.

They never liked it. Face it. You know, you went all in and showed up every day. You were faking it by acting upon it. You were practicing it every day by showing up, which I think is really cool. What is your biggest fear now after, again, Hall of Fame career, Super Bowls, billions of dollars in assets that you guys manage? I think TV, you know, all these things.

Fear. I think it's, I mean, inevitably one of the best things that Heaven's given to learn some of these things we've been talking about to elevate is kids. because you have a little baby and they're completely helpless and without you doing selfless acts of service, because the baby's not going to give you any, like, oh, thanks for that. In fact, I found out that kids generally, not until they have kids, do they really ever appreciate you. Really understand. It's not anyone's fault, it's just Simba. So I think that that's, if you're talking about fears and anxieties, naturally, when you are so invested in the success or glory or growth or maturity of abundance of this human that your wife and I, my wife and I created, you end up in a place of anxiety or fear because you want to make sure it happens. And if you really want to do it right, you can't guarantee that, nor should you guarantee it. In fact, you should be very careful where you insert yourself. And the thing that I found is the fear is that I haven't modeled what I hope they would see.

You don't feel like you have?

That's the fear I hope I have. Because in the modeling is where the power is. It isn't in the-- the saying. or making sure that you've created a lane that, you know, made it available or God given an opportunity. It's have you modeled the very thing that you hope for them? And have you done it in a way that is they've taken it over a lifetime. So it's a part of them. And so maybe the fear of that is how you get there. Yeah.

Yeah.

But that's the And what's the biggest.

Lesson then being a dad has taught you?

Don't raise yourself. You know, if my son had been a quarterback and a three sport athlete and had some anxiety, you know, like I could, I can parent that because I know that. What came with Braden is someone who's very different. It's a lot of similarities, but a lot of differences that were fundamental that I had to really grow to be a productive parent. I had to figure out new ways to parent someone that wasn't just like me. And I found that my initial reaction is to try to make him like me so that I could parent me. through him, right? Because that's what I knew. And the biggest lesson is, if you're gonna be a great parent, you need to become an athlete, spiritual, emotional athlete, and challenge your insecurities and challenge your fears, all the things you just showed me how to do, because parenting is really bespoke to that human being, and that's the lesson. And I failed at some places early on trying to figure that out. And recognizing Sweet Braden was patient with me, you know, to kind of work my way through.

That's beautiful. I've got three final questions. I want to be mindful of the time here. I could talk to you for hours, Steve.

I love your stories, man.

This is fun, man.

Has it been 10 minutes?

I know, I know, this is great. Three final questions before I ask you these questions, I want people to get the book, the Law of Love. I think it's really cool that you are this elite athlete from sports to business to life, relationships. And we're here talking about love and abundance and peace and harmony and healing. And you're diving into what I'm hearing you, what's sounding like is this is the stuff that really matters the most. Above all the success, it's like The way to get those things also is through the Law of Love.

So, I appreciate that. And I can tell you that the book is written to an LDS audience, a religious LDS audience, because that's, all politics are local, right? So, that's my house, my, and we are a can-do people.

Oh, yes.

And that's a transactional people. And this is, not that. And so it's really myself, this is my way forward. This is where I think if I was gonna love like God and find the abundance despite the wonderful ingredients we have to grow, this is how I would do it. And so I wanna just tell people, if you're in, the language in here is not necessarily, but the lessons are truly, I believe, in every religion. And regardless of religion, in the human endeavor of the spirit of abundance and the law of love is absolutely the way forward because by definition it's perpetuity. And do we as humans want to pay it forward, bring abundance into the future? Of course we do. Do we want to drag back and hold back and zero-sum game and diminishing returns? Of course not. But me, all of us behave, unfortunately, in a way of diminishing returns. And that's, you get what you get. So I just want to caveat that because I want to make sure that people are like, what the heck, young? You got this book and it's all this other stuff.

We have a very open-minded, I call them conscious achievers. They're constantly open to learning new things, even if it's not where they came from, this community, whether it be on YouTube or audio or over the place. I think people are really gonna like this. I've had a great time going through it. I haven't finished it, but I went through a lot of it and the stories are really powerful and inspiring. It doesn't matter what religion or background you're from. It's human. It's very inspiring. So I want people to get the Law of Love. Make sure you guys get a few copies for friends as well. Where can we get it? Is there a site we can get it from?

You're on Amazon. Just Amazon, it's the main place. You've got an amazing foundation. I'm not selling. I didn't do that.

I wrote this book for my family.

And someone convinced me to publish it. So, I just want you to know that I am not here trying to sell this book.

I'm here to do it for you.

But I'm not. I really am. I just like, if there's a gravitational pull to it, great. But please don't get the-- no, I'm.

Excited about it though. I think it's beautiful. And I want to acknowledge you, Steve, before I ask the final two questions for, there's a lot of athletes who make it that don't live a life of service afterwards. They make it and they make it about them. And the fact that for the last 20 plus years, you continue to make it about others through your foundation, through your charitable efforts. You're constantly involved in children's charity efforts.

Thank you.

Through Kelly, you know, is always talking about how you serve every year. You just give without even needing the credit. You're just like, how can I serve through your own foundation? There's a lot of stuff behind the scenes that people don't see that you do. that makes a massive difference to individuals and to communities. And I really want to acknowledge you for you consistently showing up, you consistently healing, growing, and living a life of abundance through your efforts and your energy. You show up on TV every week and inspire people that way through adding in lessons when you can. Obviously there's analysis, but then you throw in these great lessons that I think are, you throw in the peas and carrots in the sugar, right? You do it through this book. You don't have to write this book. You don't have to spend the time to do this. You do it through the charities you do. And I just really acknowledge you for the continual gift that you are and that you bring to the world.

Well, and again, so vital that it's like I'm learning. Like this book helped me.

Sure.

Like I didn't, I'm, you said, oh, I love Steve Young's the expert. No, no, no, no. Steve Young is along with you. on this, what I believe is heaven's gift. Like it's like I'm a passenger along with you.

Sure, sure, sure.

And if I have a couple tips for you, great. If I don't, but I'm so by no means do I have, then my foibles, if someone wanted to list all my foibles through the years, you could easily do it. So I just want to make sure that Gandhi is like for a reason, right? The rest of us, we're in the next human being. I get it. We all got challenges. But I appreciate what you're saying. That's very kind.

But you keep showing up. and that's a beautiful thing. And you don't have to. You've made money, you don't have to keep showing up for others. So that's a beautiful thing that you're living a life of significance. Yes, you want to build your business and things like that, but you're living.

A life of significance. Well, again, you can fully engage in this transactional world, but come from it in a spirit of abundance.

I love that. Two final questions, and then we got to get you back. This is called the three truths question. I asked everyone of this at the end of the interviews. So it's a hypothetical question. Imagine it's your last day on this earth, many years away. You live as long as you want to live. You accomplish and give all you want to do in life. But for whatever reason, you've got to take all of your work with you and it's your last day and you've got to turn the lights off in this world. And hypothetical, no one has access to your commentary, your videos, your audios, this book, no one has access to any of your your information. But you get to leave behind three lessons to the world. Three things you know to be true. And this is all the information we would have about you, Steve Young. What would be those three truths for you?

Well, for me, okay, so, all right, how do I say this in a really useful way? I believe fundamentally in a durable spirit that's inside of every human. That durable spirit is actually not, it's of a place of abundance and perpetuity, but it's here to grow and that's what we're doing. So, if that's so for me, The truth is, first truth is, I guess that, that this whole human experience is to learn and grow. And we're in a perfect place to do it. This is the perfect conditions to do it. So that's, I guess, one.

That's beautiful. That's one.

If you asked me 10 years ago, it would be different, right? Or you asked me today.

Different season of life.

Today, the other, Another truth is kind of to be able to create growth in other human beings. We actually help. We are the fuel. I think that I don't think anyone feels that God can do that by him or herself. They can't just say, I may, because that would not be, that's compulsion. You can't compel people to grow and to learn. It has to be free, it has to be freely done. And that's why we as, we're here at the Human Condition, we're free, so that in that freedom, I can actually do something miraculous for you.

Oh, yes.

So that's another truth for me.

That's beautiful.

Is there's, geez, you are tough.

We have the fuel to help others grow. I like that. And the third one.

The third one is, if you ask transactional questions, you're going to get transactional answers. from heaven or anywhere else. And there's abundantly clear that it is a place of no compulsion here. And so even from heaven, you ask transactional questions, you're going to get transactional answers. If you ask selfless, non-transactional questions, you get completely different answers from others and human. And that is a place that I you know, like, I think about the most important things in my life, my marriage, and how much I want abundance in my family, you know, and all politics are local, right? It's all right here. And in the most, there's always towns, human, we're in the mix, right? There's always, Heaven's revelation for me has come tenfold When I leave the transactional and I ask these more abundant questions from its place of long-suffering, gentle persuasion, love.

What's the most important question you ask?

Of myself? Am I exuding those qualities? It's not something to do, it's something to be. Ooh. And for someone who loves to do, give me a list.

Yeah, let's do this.

Give me a list. I will get it done. Take action. It's happening.

Yes.

But now I'm asking you to be, not do. And in the being is, that's why I say I lay I come into relationship and I lay on those attributes of myself. If I was going to be those things, what words would I say? What actions would I take? What would define how I approach the problem? Like, do I have a solution for the problem? I do not. But I have a solution for how I'm going to bring myself into it from these qualities of long-suffering, gentle persuasion and love. If I use those words and act that way and try to, that's when there's a door unlocked, there's something, I don't want to say magical, it's not the right word, but miraculous, happens when that's like somehow the.

Magic happens.

It's like it happens.

It does happen.

And I've seen that in most intimate relationships I have.

That's amazing.

Sorry about that.

I love this man. I love this. Final question for you. What's your definition of greatness?

Ah, my definition of greatness. And I go back to Bill Walsh and how he and Barb, my wife, and how people who have guided my dad, my mom, like, started me on a journey, right? And greatness, the other day, I was on 101 driving. There was a wreck. ahead of me, back up. It had just happened. You can see there was still the smoke in the air, right? It looked like it wasn't a great, it was like, could be bad. Right. Highway patrolman had just shown up on the shoulder and gets out. And so I'm one of the early cars, right? And so I'm watching this happen. He gets out. Cars are still going by kind of more quickly than they should. And I see him get out and start running around and dodging in out of the cars. I'm like, what's he doing? There's a dog that has gotten out from one of the cars because the second patrolman's checking the people. He's trying to save the dog. Wow. Because he sees that the people are cared for, they're okay.

Now they're driving fast.

I want to go get the dog.

Wow.

Who does that? Who shows up in dangerous situations and jumps into danger to save a human being? You ask me what greatness is. You might say greatness is having the most money or the most stuff or the most things and that's fine, but I just saw greatness. So for me today, when I see Selfless acts are selfless. Like literally no credit. I'm not looking for anything. He was not looking for anything other than to try to save this life of this dog. And I just thought myself, I kind of shed a little tear and said, that's beautiful. Thankful for those humans that naturally or that way, because I'm trying to learn. I'm trying to learn that greatness. So, Steve, thank you so much, man.

Appreciate it. Powerful.

If you want to have superhuman self-confidence, confidence. You keep the promises you make to yourself and one more. So if I'm going to get up and I'm going to work out, I'm going to do 10 reps in the gym, I do one more. If I'm going to do 45 minutes on the treadmill, I do one more. If I'm going to make 10 contacts in a day, I do that and one more. If I'm going to tell my daughter I love her every day.