Neuroscientist Reveals: The SCIENCE Of Falling In LOVE with Caroline Leaf

Everything that we do that is impacting us negatively is coming from something we've experienced. Everything. So it's essential that we live lifestyles of mind management so that we can observe ourselves. So if I, for example, I've trained myself to do this, if I start noticing a certain pattern in my behaviours and I notice that there's maybe some jealousy emerging or some envy, I'm very quick to observe it. No, I'm not saying I'm a saint at all. Far from it.

I'm just saying I've trained myself and.

I'm proud that I've trained myself and I'm saying it because you can do this.

I think you've got to have a dream. The School of Greatness. Really?

Please welcome Noah's House.

I'm excited about having you here because I feel like people are struggling in relationships right now. There's a lot of confusion and I feel like a lot of it has to do with the way we think and how our minds and our brains are wired around love. So I'm curious, can you start us off by talking about why and how we are wired for love as human beings and why it is so challenging for so many people to Find and attract healthy love.

Urs, that's such an excellent question and such an important question and one that I've actually written about quite often. And there's actually a Nobel-winning scientist who talks about the fact that we're wired for love. And so it's a good term, it's a really great way of explaining things. So in a nutshell, I'm a psycho-neurobiologist, as you know. So I look at mind, brain, body connection. So what myself and other scientists have found is that your brain and body are basically wired for love and your mind. So because they're three separate things. So that means that every single cell, every single organ, every single system is wired for love, which means survival, which means that we are geared towards loving each other, connecting with each other, supporting each other, helping each other. You know, we are really made to make love, not war, you know, and that's really what to how we function. But we free will and choices in life happens, and that can mess with that. and an interesting kind of way of understanding this also is if something bad happens, like politics or whatever, we're drawn to that, not because we have bad wiring in us or that we have a natural sort of evil wiring, which is what often people talk about, that we have this sort of dark side. It's we are daunted because of being wired for love. So if something is toxic in whatever form. We've drawn to that to fix it.

Really?

It fascinates us because, and it grabs us because it's throwing love off balance.

So if, okay, so let me write this down. So if we see someone that maybe has toxic tendencies or behaviors or thoughts or energy, maybe not all the time, but we see like something a part of them is broken, right? Does that mean we're broken also and we're trying to fix them? and us are. We are not broken, but we're trying to fix someone else.

We're drawn, not so much trying to fix each other, we're drawn to try and support return to balance. And so it could be that we are very drawn because it reflects our own Brokenness and we can recognize the similarities. It could be for a multitude of reasons. There's going to be so many reasons why someone's Brokenness. It could just be that you just love that person so much and you see them broken and. It just touches you so many reasons. Right. But we don't to try and restore the balance.

Interesting.

And you know, what's interesting is like if you take a political kind of situation where people are dawned or conspiracy theories or the things that are happening in our country at the moment where there's so much divide and so much hate as opposed to love. And what people are so fascinated with that negative news and that kind of thing, very often it's pitched as because you've got this dark side, as I mentioned, but we know people are caught up in that because it's so and it's so like this is so not normal. Now, they don't know that sort of consciously people aren't talking about it like that, but that is part of our wiring. So essentially, when people get sucked in and then they get down the rabbit hole of the negative toxicity and really get caught up, what happens is that your brain will merge with your environment. And your brain is driven by your mind. So where your mind drives your brain, your brain and where you keep the focus, that's what your brain will merge with. So where people stay in and become more and more and more toxic, is because their mind, they haven't managed their mind. So their mind is now kind of just messy minds just kind of got into this pathway and then they've wired that functioning, that way of thinking into the brain and it's counter to our natural functioning. So literally that wires in a toxic thought into the brain. And I know your audience has seen these trees when I did speak at conferences or whatever. So that is in your brain and that toxic event or whatever that you're getting sucked into.

Can you explain it? What's in the brain?

Absolutely. So this does whatever we tell it to do. The brain can't do anything on its own. When you dead, your brain just disintegrates. So the thing that's making the brain work is your mind. So your mind is your sentience, your aliveness, your ability to have this conversation, to appreciate a rainbow, to love Martha, to do all the different things that we do as a human. That's what our mind is. And it's actually a the biofield that's in and around us. It makes us work, it makes your heart pump, it makes you see the meaning of a sunset, the meaning behind a painting. It's all of those things. So to the basic biology of making your brain work, the energy waves and the chemicals and your heart pump, to us experiencing our humanity.

To experiencing feeling and love.

And love.

And perceiving these things. The mind allows us to perceive our environment.

Exactly. And experience it. The experience of a conversation and enjoying each other, all of that. No mind, you and I couldn't do this. We'd be dead. We'd have a disintegrating brain. So the brain's not doing any of that. So all of, because the nature of the brain, every part of the brain right and the body right down to the level of, if you go with the structures down to the cells, down to inside the cells, everything's geared for survival. Everything's geared for wired for love. So survival and wired for love are basically in the same pathway. So if you hate each other, that doesn't lead to survival. hatred leads to death and dissension leads to death in stages and breakdown and disease and all that kind of stuff. So if, and in terms of ourselves, if people get caught up in hate, hating each other, envy, jealousy, dissension, that each of those experiences is becoming a physical thing in the brain. So let's say that you are watching something on TV that's working you up and it's very negative and you get into conversations, you start fighting with family members and you know, like the vaccine or the COVID for example, I broke up family members. That experience is your mind is listening to all the stuff processing you with your mind, and it lands up becoming a physical structural change in your brain. Really? So that energy goes into your brain, your brain responds electromagnetically, electrochemically, and genetically. And it's happening very fast. It's like waves of energy that you're putting in your brain. And they, like a wave, build, collapse, build, collapse. Every time you collapse, you make proteins. and those proteins hold that information as a vibration. And those proteins build together to grow these things.

And what are these things?

Thoughts.

So basically this is the mind, this is thought?

This is what the mind looks like in the brain.

Gotcha.

Does that make sense? So every experience that we have with our mind, which is life, is built into these thought trees into the brain. And they have this structure where there's a source, a root system. and then there's a processing, how we uniquely process that experience, and then there's our interpretation of that experience as a unique human being.

How we create meaning around it, our interpretation of meaning.

That's what this is, exactly. So those are in the brain, good and the bad, hopefully more of these. Now we wired for these.

This brings health to the brain.

This is the bad thoughts? That's the toxic thought. And they're very much alive, and that's the healthy thought. That's the healthy thought, okay. And that's very much what they look like. They look like these branch things, and the roots, the source. and so essentially we, this is what we wired for, this is wired for love and applies into our relationships.

We want a beautiful garden. That's what we want. We want a forest, garden, rainforest, all those things.

Exactly. And at the core of who we are, this wide full of nature that we see is these healthy trees in the brain, healthy functioning of all the cells in the organs and so on of the body, and also in the actual cells of the body, right down into the depths of the cells, health and love and survival kind of all go together.

Okay.

So as soon as something happens like a toxic relationship or a toxic focus of whatever, whatever it may be, is we build these instead of these.

We build negative thoughts, toxic thoughts, over healthy thoughts.

Exactly. And the thought, you can see there's lots of branches and roots. So that thought is made of a lot of memories, memories of the data. So this is the whole conversation or the the details is the data. So that's and so and the similar data clusters together to form thoughts. So if you think of it, the data are the memories. So memories are the details of the thoughts. So thoughts are made of root memories and interpretation memories. Does that make sense? Okay. So bees then, this is what the brain is designed for. So if these go into the brain, the immune system of the brain says, Hey, that's a pathogen. That's like a pathogen. It's like the COVID virus. It's toxic. It's toxic. So it sends out immune factors in exactly the same way as if it was a COVID virus in your body or whatever, in any kind of virus or bacteria or something that's threatening your survival. Your immune system kicks in, we all understand that. And sends out immune factors that creates inflammation around that area. In the brain. In the brain and the body, depending on where it's first, if it's toxic thought first in the brain, certainly. Let me, good question. It traverses Here's the toxic experience lands up in the brain as this. In the mind, it's a field, but it's not a nice sine wave. It's a crazy, chaotic energy wave. And in the body, it's a change inside the actual structure of the cell in an area called a microtubule. And the microtubules inside the cell, and those microtubules are made of proteins, and those proteins hold the vibrations of information.

They hold the memory.

They hold the memory. Right. So you build the main memory in your brain. and that works very closely with your mind. And then as it builds in your brain, your brain sends instruction, and it builds in all other 37,200 trillion cells or however many we have in your body. So it's a slightly different type of memory, but it builds into. The data is built into every cell of our body. That's why we have body memory. Okay? That's how we can, you know, we can feel the pain and not in just in our mind, but in our body. We. And when we say, I feel the pain in my mind, you are. Those waves will give you a headache. those, the actual physical damage in your brain that this is causing, you feel it.

So what I'm hearing you say is the mind is an energy field?

Yes, we call it a biofield.

A biofield. And it's how far does it expand from the body?

Not sure, but... Like an arms length.

Maybe or a few feet.

I think in, at this stage in science, we're not sure, but it's probably kind of our arm's length. Yes.

And so it's a biofield, an energy field. The mind is there.

Yes, and it's embodied. It goes around and through.

Around and through you.

Yes.

And when we experience something, we see an event, someone says something to us, we interpret it. It could be a bad thing, but we could interpret it good and it could have a positive effect, or it could be a bad thing and we really hold on to this negative thought.

We build one of the two.

We build one of these kind of negative thought trees. when that happens, then it's not going to have a frequency in this biofield that is calm and peaceful.