NOBODY SHARES This Secret To Achieving ANYTHING YOU WANT! | Nicole Lynn & Lewis Howes

Finding your purpose needs to be the most important mission of your life. You know, I always say if you're not walking in your purpose, you're just working and living to die.

And I hope it shakes people to.

The core when they hear that.

I think you gotta have a dream.

The School of Greatness.

Really?

Yeah.

Please welcome Lewis Howes. Growing up without having an abundance of money and coming from this place of scarcity and poverty, how did you train your mindset to think more of abundance mindset financially? around money? How did you change the conversation or the ideas in your mind? How did you learn about money differently?

You know, it's funny because I don't know that it ever really changed. You know, I always say I still kind of have a poor kid mentality.

Really?

No matter how successful I've been or how much money I've made, I still have this weird fear of going back.

Gosh.

So my mindset, it hasn't, it's something I struggle with. It's something I'm really working on. I talk a lot in interviews about balancing these two jobs I had. I worked as a sports agent and a lawyer, two separate jobs, not at one company. One was at the number three law firm in the world, and one was at a top sports agency. And I did that because of money. And my husband would be like, We're good. You can leave that job. But it was this weird fear.

So I would say- you- mean you worked double jobs because of money, because.

You wanted to make sure you had money. Yeah, because being a sports agent costs.

A lot of money. People don't know that.

You're traveling, you've got expenses, you have to wait to contracts to come in, do you get your commission? And then you've got to train the players in each player could cost you 25 grand to 100 grand and it comes out of your own pocket.

Getting ready for the draft.

Getting ready for the draft, exactly. And so in order to front that money, I had to have another job. And so even when I got to the position where I had, you know, multiple first round picks and I was doing fine, I still wouldn't leave the job. I wouldn't leave the law job because my mindset about money never changed. You know, it was always in my mind like it was something that I was scarce and also something I feel like I had to hoard. So it even took me a very long time to get to the point of, okay, now I need to invest my money. Even that I have a background in finance. I know you shouldn't hoard your money, but when you grow up poor.

I know. I felt this for like a decade.

It's different. And people would say, you know better. Wow. All right, I've got my Series 7, my Series 63. I could trade on the stock market. I know better.

But you just kept it in savings.

It's like hiding it under your mattress.

Not doing anything for you.

Nothing, nothing.

This is dying for you.

Yeah.

And it's sad.

So when did you start to shift and say, okay, I can't hoard this. I need to shift the mindset and actually like invest in myself or invest in not that you weren't investing yourself but investing your money and being willing to spend some of it to really create more of it.

I think it was me just saying, hey, I've got to take a leap of faith.

When was this?

This was like six months ago.

Wow.

Okay.

Yeah, I mean, I invested my 401k and like kind of But to really say, Hey, here's a big bulk of like this, here's the money that's in my savings account. And I'm going to get a financial advisor. You know, I felt like I could handle it all. And so I finally said, I'm going to get a financial advisor. And they were like, this money's been in your account this whole time. And it's embarrassing because I represent athletes and I teach them financial literacy. If I had an athlete that had.

That amount of money in their account.

I would lose it. I would lose it. But you weren't doing it for yourself. Exactly. Isn't that interesting? It's crazy. And I know the financial advisor kept saying, I feel like I'm repping one of your athletes right now. He's like, you know better. I'm like, I know, but that when you grow up poor, your mentality, you have this fight or flight all the time, this fear. And so I always wanted to make sure I had resources. Yeah.

Available at all times.

At all times.

I felt this way for so long. After I was talking about this off camera, after playing arena football, I had this surgery and I was on my sister's couch for about six months and for about a year and a half, I just wasn't making any money. So I was on my sister's couch for about six months recovering, then I lived in my brother's place, playing 250 a month, just trying to like, where am I going next?

Hustling.

Hustling for a year and a half, making nothing. Finally at the end of the year and a half, making like maybe a couple thousand dollars a month, but it wasn't enough to like really survive and live off of and thrive. And I started to make more over the next few years to where I was like, okay, I have money in the bank. I'm good for a couple years, but I would still like take you know, Greyhound buses and like Southwest, middle seat, back of the plane, like multiple connections. I would never get a hotel room. Never. Until maybe like four or five years ago. That's too far, I don't do that. I get a hotel room. Well, as a guy I was like, Whose couch can I sleep on? I was just like, who do I know in what city? Who can pick me up? Like everything. Yeah.

Who can I get some free food from? But it was like I had the money. Yeah, your mindset never changed. It's weird. And I feel like I'm the same way. It's like I'm just now getting to the point where I'm like, okay, I have got to practice what I preach. Right.

Right.

I know how this works. I've got to actually put into action.

What do you think is the biggest thing holding you back from going all in on that kind of abundance mindset?

Gosh, I mean, I think it's fear. I think it's fear. I think it's fear of going back, which is not going to happen. It's not going to happen. But for some reason, there's just this, like, what if I don't have a plan B? I don't have anything to, lean on. I didn't grow up with a trust fund or parents with money. So it's me or it's nothing, you know? Wow.

What would you think was the biggest myth about money that you were taught growing up or you saw in the world? Oh, gosh. It was so weird to me because.

I used to think I had this code with my mom when I'd go to a friend's house and I'd say they have six chairs at their dining room table. That was our code like to say they were rich. Really?

Yeah.

I was like, I'm staying at a friend's house and maybe she'd never been there. And I'm like, oh my gosh, they have Six chairs, not four, not two, they have six. Or I'd see a friend that had a two-story house and it's like, oh my gosh, they're millionaires. And so it was just these small things which were very common in society that for me felt like, wow, that's when you know you made it. That's when you know you have money. But really, you meet millionaires, you meet people that are wealthy and they don't show their wealth. You have no idea.

Some of them, I've met some of them, don't. Yeah, it depends what type of person they are. How they got their money.

New money or old money.

You got the money quick? Yeah, maybe, who knows? That's interesting. So your book's called Agent, you, Show Up, Do the Work, and Succeed on youn Own Terms. So how do you need to show up and do the work in your.

Own life right now to get to the next level for yourself? Oh my gosh, this is like a therapy session. So many ways I need to show up. I mean, I think continually to make good decisions financially, right? So knock down the fear. Are you writing that down while you're holding me accountable? I'm taking notes, yeah. I'm not mad at that. Okay.

Taking some risk, I'd say taking more risks.

Specifically financially, but... What's the risk you.

Haven'T yet fully taken yet?

I mean, I did, I just took the biggest risk six weeks ago leaving my law firm.

So that was huge.

Just left.

Just left. So you finally went all in on the main thing you want to go on.

Six weeks ago, so I just took a huge risk. It was like, I'm going all in on sports and I'm going to do just one job.

Because I was bringing in, I'm assuming, a nice six or plus figure salary.

And it was like the security blanket, right? Yes, every two weeks, this is what you're getting. In sports, it's these, you know, they give a big chunk and then, God forbid, you lose a player and it's gone.

So what do you think, how do you think that was holding you back from not going all in sooner?

Well, I think I wasn't able to give my entire time and my entire, you know, just, I don't know, mentality to this one job. I was split. Like, even my anxiety and stress was split.

Interesting.

And so being able to finally go all in on one, I feel like, I mean, that's what was holding me back from I think greatness. People see me now and say, oh, you're so successful. I'm like, well, imagine if I didn't have another job.

That's what I did with two jobs.

Yeah, exactly. So I feel like it really held me back from where I am meant to go.

How many years have you been doing both jobs?

Seven.

Seven years.

Both. Both.

Where do you think you'll be in the next two years by being all in energy resources strategy with this one thing?

I'm probably getting two years. What took me seven as my guess. Seven with both.

Seven with both.

You think in two years you've already.

Totally.

I mean, I was working 70-80 hours a week at a law firm. This wasn't a small law firm. It's a huge international law firm. We had billables we had to meet. I was doing securities fraud litigation. Nothing to do with sports. Really? And so I'm over here preparing motions and going to trial and then, oh yeah, I'm a sports agent. So that time, if I can focus it all in, Yeah, I think I can do what I did in seven and two.

How did you learn about goal setting growing up? Because it seems like you don't just accomplish what you accomplished by, I don't know, just accidentally. You had to have some type of framework or model or goal setting strategy. How did you think and then act to accomplish all these different things at this stage of your life?

I didn't, you know, I just, I always had a different level of grit. People talk about grit. I didn't have foundation. Nobody taught me anything. I didn't have role models. It almost felt like it was in my DNA.

Really?

Because my brother, who grew up with me, went down a very different path. We both, we grew up very poor in a dangerous situation, and he went down what the statistics would say. And so I don't know what made me go this way. And I'm always asked that, and I kind of tried to dig deep, and I feel like it's just grit, which is Something people have and some people don't.

Do you have like a framework for when you set and accomplish goals? Are you like, I'm gonna be a lawyer and this date and I'm gonna be a sport. I'm gonna get my first big athlete by this time. And then how do you either reverse.

Engineer or strategize those goals to accomplish them? Yeah, so I definitely, I do big picture first. Like what's the big goal? I think a lot of people work on smaller goals first. You know, first I'm gonna do this small goal and go up the steps. I'm like, I want to know, what's at the very top of the steps and then go backwards. So if it's, I'm gonna get a first rounder, what is that gonna take? Is that gonna take five, seven rounders? Is that gonna take getting a job at a top sports agency? Is that gonna take making sure I'm certified in these certain states? I go big and then go backwards.

That's what you do with everything in terms of-- yeah. When did you know you wanted to be, you know, do law in the first place and then financial services? Like how were those, It was all.

To kind of reach the same purpose of working with athletes.

So you knew you wanted to work with athletes.

I always knew. From the beginning. Yeah, since I was probably a teenager.

Really?

Yeah. And you knew law was part of the path? Not originally. I mean, I thought I wanted to be a lawyer and then I thought, okay, maybe I want to be a financial advisor for athletes and that's why I went to Wall Street. Wow. And then when I got there, I interviewed some financial advisors and I realized it's really the agent that's kind of the day-to-day person. And so the minute I determined I was on the right path, the wrong path, I deviated and went to law school. Really? Like three months later, I was taking the LSAT and, you know, for me it was all about walking in my purpose. That was critical. Didn't matter what I had to do to get there. If I had to leave a six-figure job after growing up poor, I was.

Going to do it. Really?

Yeah.

How do you teach people about discovering their purpose? They have no clue.

They feel like they're stuck or in a rut. Man. Well, first it's making sure you realize how important it is. You know, to me. Your purpose. Yeah, and finding it. Finding your purpose needs to be the most important mission of your life. You know, I always say if you're not walking in your purpose, you're just working and living to die. And I hope it shakes people to the core when they hear that, right? If you're not walking in your purpose, you're just working and living to die. And so you've got to figure out what that purpose and calling is. And purpose should not be hard, right? There's all these conversations about finding your purpose and podcasts and blogs, and it's this hard, really tough thing to figure out. shouldn't be. Your purpose is your superpower. I talk about in my book, equate it to your superpower. What is the thing that you're naturally great at? The Hulk is strong, right? Superman can fly. When people think about you, what do they say? What is your superpower? You know? And so in my book, I kind of go down several factors of how to get to your purpose. But it shouldn't be. It's not hidden. Everybody has one.

You just got to figure it out. If someone is thinking, well, I don't know what that is still. Like, I haven't been able to figure it out. I have. Or maybe I've got so many passions, I'm not sure which one to choose. I want to do it all. Or, I'm not sure what I'm good at. Do you suggest they ask their friends or family? Do you suggest they get feedback from someone and say, well, what do you.

See in front of me? Yeah, absolutely. I always say, ask your friends and family, ask the people closest to you, what am I great at? And what's the first thing you think of when you think of me? And if you have, you want me to do a favor for you. When you have a favor you need, you have different friends, you call for different things. What's the perfect favor for me? Am I the person that you're calling in the moment when you need help budgeting or am I someone that comes through in the clutch because I'm always there? Purpose doesn't have to be your day job. Your purpose could be providing support to a spouse. It could be a hobby. It could be a number of things.

What about biggest myths on finding your dream job? And does that line up with figuring out what your purpose is or is that different in your mind?

Biggest myths, I think people see the dream job, people get the dream job and they think of an overnight success. You know, especially like even with me, they're like oh, you know, one day she was no one and now she's got these top players and she works for this top sports agency.

It took years.

Yeah, they don't see what happened in private to get there. You know, they see this overnight success and you have to take sometimes a lot of jobs you hate to get to your dream job.

To figure out what you don't want.

Yeah.

To figure out what you do want. Exactly, exactly. So there's a lot of grueling work and kind of saying, hey, I hate this, I hate this, you know, crossing off the list until you sometimes get to that dream job. I knew what I always wanted to do, but I think I'm the exception.

Yeah.

That's not the rule. Most people do not know. I know.

So you have to try stuff that.

You don't like for a while and then just don't stay there. Exactly. keep course correcting. What about the biggest adversity you've ever faced? What was that in your life? And how did you mentally and emotionally overcome it?

Oh my gosh. I mean, my childhood just generally is a lifetime movie. So I have a list of adversities. You know, I think even at seven, eight years old, my biggest challenge was figuring out what I was gonna eat for dinner.

Really?

You know, and trying to be creative and taking home food from the school, right? You know, okay, which milk won't spoil that I can keep for a day or two? Navigating that for myself and my younger brother, you know, I think, yeah, the biggest adversities for me were staying alive as a kid. And figuring that out. And, you know, it's just, it's so weird because I just, I felt like I was a parent so early. I grew up so quickly. And so the adversities were there, but, you know, I treated it as if this is just a day job. It's like, okay, we've got a fair, we're gonna eat, let's keep it pushing. As an eight-year-old.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy saying it now out loud. Wow. My husband's always like, you know those stories you tell, they're not normal. Yeah. You need to go to therapy.

What were your parents at during this time or what was that experience like?

Not there. You know, some dealing with mental health and others, you know, they're just not around. Not there. We really raised ourselves.

Really? Were they in the home or is it Were you staying with the people, grandparents?

Yeah, we were, you know, we lived with my dad, but he was never around. And so we kind of were just there all day raising ourselves. And, you know, we didn't come home to people checking our homework and, you know, which is odd because we did well in school. So it's like, where did that, how did you, where did the motivation come from? I don't know. I think just, yeah, something, I feel like I always say it's like my DNA.

Did you have teachers that were supportive or coaches or mentors at school that were kind of like looking after you or?

I had a librarian, one librarian I remember that would like sneak stuff to me to take home because she was aware. So she'd say like, oh, this is my granddaughter's sweatshirt. You know, why don't you have it?

That's nice.

And so, but besides her, no, I actually feel like the school system dropped the ball. Yeah.

Who was the most influential person in your life growing up?

You know, I didn't have anybody. I hate that question because I get asked that or like, who was your role model? And I wish I, I almost thought about lying and picking someone, but there was just no one. Like growing up, I didn't see people that were lawyers and doctors. I mean, based on where I grew up and, you know, it just that wasn't there. We weren't exposed to that.

So there was no teacher, there was no family friend, there was no one that was really an inspiration for you.

Maybe when I got to high school, early on, you know, elementary and junior high, no. When I got to high school, I mean, I think the teachers there, I went to a magnet school and It was inspiring to see kind of how many students were able to make it out. It had similar circumstances. Yeah.

What was the biggest lesson you learned growing up then, before you got into college and after high school, the biggest lesson of your teen and early years?

I mean, oh gosh, all the lessons I learned were boring stuff, like, you know, how to raise your credit, how to finance a car. I mean, those are the things I was doing pretty young. to survive.

Really?

Yeah.

How to make a forge driver's license, how to make a fake tag for your car so you can drive it because you can't afford tags.

Forge driver's license? It's a whole other story.

So, why did you have to forge this?

Because I was 14 and I had.

To get to my magnet school, which is across the-- so you were driving at 14? I was. No way. Yeah, because I got into the magnet school, the number one school in the state, which is on the other side of town. And so I took city buses to get there. And finally I ended up getting a job at Chick-fil-A, which is the only place that hires 14-year-olds. Saved every check, bought a Dodge Neon for $2,500.

At 14? 14.

That's crazy.

And then-- you- made that much money at 14 and then saved your money.

And bought a car. So I can go to the best.

School in the state. That is nuts. No one's willing to drive you.

There was no like-- so we didn't have it. I didn't have anybody. Holy cow. I didn't have anybody.

So, and then learned how to, you know, get your car insurance and. Oh my gosh. Wait, how did you not get, can you buy a car at 14? Like how does that even work?

Yeah, you just gotta have connections. You figure it out.

Hustling.

Hustling.

So how did you even learn to drive? Yeah, I mean, that's gotta be, I.

Was scared at 17 when I got.

My license, like on the highway. I would start on the, I remember.

Starting on the streets and just like going places to get, you know, my brother, he went to school around the corner, so learning to take him. Did you take classes in driving or.

Was it just, you just jumped in?

I was 14, you can't take classes at, 14, but I didn't have a choice.

Like, no one taught you like, okay, this is how you do it.

No.

Oh, my gosh.

No, no. But they didn't teach. I mean, that. That's not. That is the least shocking of the things I was not taught.

Wow.

Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. That's crazy.

Yeah.

I didn't know that about you. What is. What's the thing you're most proud of that most people don't know about you that you've overcome or done?

What am I most proud of? That's a really tough question. You know, I'm proud of where I've gotten to in the sports industry. I'm proud of that. I worked on a, as an attorney, I worked on a bunch of pro bono cases. And so one of the cases, we worked on someone that was on death row and he actually ended up getting out.

That's cool.

So really proud to have worked on that team. It was a very small piece of the team, but give me back.

That's great.

Give me back.

That's great.

Yeah.

And where's your brother now?

So my brother is of two brothers. One I talk about in the book who actually was killed, gang violence. And so that happened when I was in law school. And then my other brother who was going down the same kind of track, I moved him in with me when I was in law school to kind of change his life after I lost one brother.

Wow.

And so now he's in like an aviation mechanic school. I've been putting him through. trying to really turn his life around. So he's on his way, but it took a while for him to get there. We grew up in the same circumstances and like I said, he went down the way that statistically you would think he would. And I went this way. Without any parental guidance, we just both went our separate ways. And so I easily could have been him. So I gave him a lot of grace.

Yeah. Right.

Easily could have been him.

Yeah. One or two wrong decisions could have been him.

Yeah.

What's your thoughts on risk taking? Because it sounds like you've taken a lot of risks from an early age and done things that maybe weren't the norm from where you're from. And it sounds like now you're taking even more risks leaving this other.