Past Trauma Can SABOTAGE Your Life Goals (Stop THESE Habits That are HOLDING You Back) | Eric Thomas

I never even realized I was where I was because of who I was. And I was actually getting the physical manifestations of my thoughts, of my feelings, my emotions. I was creating this. Somebody asked me the other day, like, what's one of the hardest things you've ever done? The hardest thing I've ever done was look in the mirror and tell myself I was sorry. From living off the streets to becoming.

One of the world's most in-demand motivational speakers. The voice that ignites a fire in millions.

Eric Thomas. You need to tell you that you owe you something. You need to be more disciplined about your mind. And all the stuff that you said was absolutely right. My daddy wasn't there, my mama did this person did to me. Why would you let them destroy your life? Let's go. Why would you allow that thing they did to hurt you, now define the rest of your life? At the end of the day, you have to be the first thing that you invest in. Before you check anything, check you, and go look yourself in the mirror and go, yo, I'm my lottery ticket. We have worshiped careers more than we worship create. And so the first thing I would say to that group, is what would life look like if you did it on your terms? I want you to think about your life instead of the life.

What would the next couple steps be to set up the mindset for success?

I would say.

Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. If you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you'll be successful. We've got ET the hip hop preacher in the house. My man, welcome back. It's been a while.

It's been a minute. I gotta say this, congratulations, man. You know, I was saying when I was talking to you, it's like 10 years ago, you know? And I remember, 'cause you were like, hey, I want you on the show. And I hadn't really started doing podcasts yet. So that was like one of the first podcasts. And I was like, but my mother, my godmother was dying of cancer. And so I was like, man, I can't leave and go, but I definitely wanna, and you were gracious enough, like, where you at, E? I was like, Embassy Suites.

I like drove out to the airport, I was like, all right, let's do this.

And man, just to see your evolution, you know, over the years. And like I said, it was a lot of us that started during that timeframe and to see kind of where you are today and you survived the resilience. Bouncing back, getting bigger, stronger and better. Right. Like you ready to go back to sports.

Let's go, baby.

Let's go. Yeah, so. Congrats, bro. I've seen it. I mean, I can't name all the people, but Kobe, I seen my girl Tab on the show, you know, just to see all the people you had. And of course, I watch the show and learn from it. So man, congratulations.

Thanks, bro. Appreciate it. Appreciate it. I'm excited about this because I feel like you haven't been out there a lot. You've been doing a lot of your.

Own stuff for a while.

So I'm excited because there's probably a lot of people who don't know your full story because you used to tell it a lot 10, 5, 7 years ago. So I kind of wanna reintroduce to the world. And I feel like the world is at such a unique place right now as we go into 2025. And it almost feels like there needs to be a massive mindset shift for everyone to take back ownership of their life, to take the full responsibility of their life, to not rely on other people to give them opportunities, but to go own their own opportunities by creating and having a clear vision. and there's a few things that I want to talk about that you would have that I've seen you share some incredible strategies around mindset. I'm going to dive into in a second. But for those who don't know, you were at one point living homeless, you know, a long time ago. People probably don't even know this about you. Right, right. Because you used to talk about it, but it's like you had a season of life where you didn't have any money, you had no education, you had no opportunities, essentially living homeless, struggling trying to figure out what you're gonna do with your life. And I don't think people remember this about you because they see the success, they see the coaching, the speaking, the massive following, the New York Times bestseller. They see all these things now, but 20 years ago you weren't in this space.

Nah, definitely wasn't.

And what was the space you were in back in the day when you were living you know, without the opportunities you have now. And what was the moment you switched your mindset that allowed you to take different actions to start creating your own opportunities?

Yeah. So I'd say it's the mindset. Like I had a victim mindset. You know, it was my mom got pregnant at 17. You know, my biological father wasn't in my life. You know, I didn't go to the best schools in Detroit. You know, I wasn't in this environment. I didn't have, like everything was about somebody else. You know, it was like the outside inside theory, you know what I'm saying? Which is terrible. It's like everything that's supposed to blow me up and take me to the next level is somebody else's responsibility. Like it's something that is going to happen or somebody and it's going to, and it was like, yo, E, like why are you in this abandoned building? Like your mom's not here. your biological father, no, he's not in your life, but he didn't get pulled over by the police officer. And the police officer doesn't know the counselor or the principal that kick you out. It's like, but there's a common denominator here. There's a common denominator. And you homeless, your mom's not homeless, your biological father's probably married with a family somewhere. Like, yo, is that right or wrong? Who cares? You are living in this abandoned building. high school dropout, you're on your way to... And so when I look back, all the anger and the frustration and the hurt, it was all blaming. Everything was about this person or that person or this person. Nothing had anything. I never even realized I was where I was because of who I was. And I was actually getting the physical manifestations of my thoughts, of my feelings, my emotions. Like I was creating this. and didn't even realize, I thought my mom created it. I thought my final creator, it was like, nah, E, you created this. And I'm gonna tell you, the moment I realized you are the greatest common denominator, you're probably the least greatest, you're the common denominator. Once that realization hit me, it was like, oh, okay, you got some confessing to do, bruh. And I'm gonna tell you the hardest thing that I've ever done. Somebody asked me the other day, That was one of the hardest things you ever done. The hardest thing I've ever done was look in the mirror and tell myself I was sorry. That was a hard-- Sorry for what? I was sorry for what I've got myself into, the choices that I made, you know. Okay, yeah. You 12 years old and you find out that the person that's raising you is not your biological father and your mother lied. Absolutely, bro. That's not necessarily best circumstances, you know, for a child to be born in. Like, your mom lied? about who your father is and you know your father and don't even know you know your father. Wow. Like you've been around your father.

But you didn't know he was your father.

You didn't even know he was my father. I'm with his mother. My grandma and me like this. I'm with his sisters. I'm with his brothers, my aunts and uncles. I'm hanging out with them every day. And so the realization of like, yo, not only did you get lied to, like it's been manipulative, it's been deceitful. But what do I do? I run away from home. at 12. And I'm living in garages and living in my friends' homes. And this vicious cycle of every time something goes wrong or every time, you know, I'm confronted by this reality that's not your father is run away from home. It's run away from home. And at 16, it's like, okay, Ma, you just flat out lied to me. Everybody told me you lied. You keep telling me you didn't lie. You go tell me when I got older, I'm like, I'm out. But it's like, E, when I looked in the mirror, it's like, why did you have to take, why'd you have to leave? Your mom, you had counselors. Why wouldn't you sat down with a counselor and they tried to walk you through the tools and the strategies to get on the other side of this? Why were you in, don't talk to me, you ain't my mama, don't talk to me, you ain't my daddy, don't talk to me. I don't wanna talk to y'all. These are professional counselors who are saying, yo, we get it. You're going through a lot, but we're here to help. counselors at school, principals, teachers. I'm just now insubordinate. I'm an evil, mean, mean man. And I looked at myself in the mirror, was like, why was that the choice? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You got to talk to me. I know why you made the choice, but why did you make that choice? We know what the choice was. You're right, you always were from conflict. You always blame somebody, but why? And the reason why? is because it was easier to put it on my mom and my dad than for me to have to do the work. And so the Eric Thomas that you've seen, the NFL, NBA, commercials, whatever, that dude is the dude that looked himself in the mirror and was like, yo, you owe yourself an apology. And not only that, you owe yourself correction. You owe yourself change. You need to be taught, you need to be trained. You need to become a better human. And that was one of the most difficult days of my life, was looking at myself, correcting myself, telling myself I was sorry, and then moving forward saying, now what are we gonna do from this point? So the growth you see is the response to, are you repentful, meaning you're about to change or are you sorry? And I'm like, no, I'm not sorry. I wanna repent. And I wanna a better version of me, because I should. What 16 year old should be living in abandoned buildings, eating out of trash cans? It's not healthy, one. It's not safe in Detroit to be in abandoned buildings walking around. It's not safe. And I had put myself in so many situations where guns were pulled out on me. People would break into the abandoned building and take my belongings from me. It's like, E, what are you doing? Come on, bro. This version of me had gone all the way. It was like, if you don't stop, Wow. And so yeah, that's, I'm glad you did that, 'cause like I said, I don't talk about that anymore.

So you're, it's interesting you just said that, 'cause the future you had to have wisdom and kind of speak to the younger you. This version of you at this age, you know, 20, 10, 20, 30, 40 years later or whatever, is speaking to the younger you and saying, wake up.

Wake up, wake up, wake up, greatness is in you.

Dang man, this is fascinating, man. Was it like an intuition that got you to wake up or was it like just rock bottom that was like, okay, I can't go any lower in my life. Now I need to wake up.

Okay, so I always think it's a combination, right? So it is, it is a rock bottom, but this is a blessing because rock bottom turned into go to church with my boy, right? And go to church with my boy turned into I started dating this girl, right? And I fall in love with this girl, you know? And this girl becomes almost like my first coach, you know? And she's saying to me, man, I'll never forget, she called me to her home. She's like, my mom's not here. I'm like, praise God. She's like, can you come to the house? I was like, for sure.

Hell yeah, I'm 16, 17. I was like, oh yeah, man, we're.

Like finally, like you being this church girl. And finally, you know, so it's like, y'all come to the house now. this was payphone day. I get to the house and she comes outside and I'm confused, like, why are you coming outside? And she's like, I wanna talk to you.

I was like, okay, we could talk.

But can we talk in the bedroom? You know? And so she's like, no, no, I'm serious. I'm like, I'm serious. She said, do you love me? And I was like, whoa, like we kids, I'm like 17, almost 18, like, do I love you? Like, I don't have no other girlfriends, if that's what you're asking me, but I don't, Do you love? She said, no, no, no. Do you love me? Like, is this serious? And I was like, yeah, serious. She said, well, I just got my acceptance letter and she showed me. And she said, when I go to college, if you don't come with me, I'm breaking up with you. And so it was two-fold. It was, I was rocked bottom. But this relationship was like hope. Like when I was with Didi, it was almost like I wasn't homeless for that time frame that we were together. Wow. You know, we were in church together, you know, I got a job 'cause she made me get a job. It was just, you know, we would do stuff together, concerts, we would do stuff together as kids. We were downtown Detroit. It's a restaurant called Nicky's, right? Greek town. So we were in Greek town on the weekends. Like, I was living life and I was like, whoa. She's elevating your life. I'm like, bro, you rock bottom. And the only life you have in your life is saying they gone. And they're not. Look, bro, I'm just being real. I'm not. the smartest guy in the world, but I'm not stupid. She's not gonna go away and get a degree and come back looking for a homeless kid four years from now. It's not gonna happen. No. And so it was rocking. She saw greatness in you. But you had to do the work.

I had to do the work.

And I did the work. I went to night school, I got the GED, I followed her to Oakwood and we've been married over 34 years. Crazy, man.

You feel me?

And so it was like, it was a combination of rock, Rock bottom and hope. And when you put those two together, it was like, I had something to wake up to, something to look forward to. So I'm gonna be real, that's why it took me 12 years to get a 40 degree. 'Cause I never went to college for college. I went to college for Didi. Wow. That's why I went to college. And so once I got to college.

And we got married, I was like.

Yo, I got what I wanted. And she was like, okay, we're gonna have to do this again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I can't be with you if you.

Don'T finish what you start. So I had to go handle this business again. And I started the speaking career.

You know, in the middle of that as well.

This is, there's a lot of like pressure for people to accomplish certain, certain things by certain ages. But it took you 12 years to graduate college, right? So you're in your 30s or whatever.

30, absolutely.

And then you're 44 when you got a PhD. What do you say to some of the younger generation that feels like they're a failure if they don't accomplish things by 20 or 25 that they feel like they're supposed to accomplish?

So here's where I went with that. One of the dangerous things is the outside-inside theory. It's dangerous because what you're doing, whether you know it or not, you are comparing your journey and your life to somebody else's journey and somebody else's life. Like you don't even have, let's just be honest, you don't even have the right context to do that. You don't know why they're doing what they're doing. You don't know like what their strengths and weaknesses are. So you're comparing yourself to somebody that may have strengths that you don't have. They're nowhere near who you are. And so you're comparing yourself. So this is why I believe for those of us who finally get it, it's the inside out. Everything we do starts from the inside. And then from there, we kind of say, oh, okay, I see my boy Lou, he doing XYZ, but I'm not doing it because you're doing it. But I'm calling you, you're kind of saying, E, in the industry this. So I'm using the information you're giving me to build my journey. Not, I'm trying to be you. And so what I realized was, yeah, there's some kids that can come and graduate in four years, 'cause they took K through 12 series. Or not to be disrespectful, there's some kids that can come and graduate for four years 'cause they're going to get a job. You can't come and graduate in four years one, because you didn't take K through 12 series, and you're about to be one of the greatest speakers ever. It's gonna take a little longer. It's gonna take a little bit longer to develop you. So my man on a four year plan, but he might, no disrespect, but he may settle into a traditional life. And so for the four years, that's all it takes. But if you are about to be Eric Thomas that I didn't even know I had the capacity, do you talk about the school of greatness? God was like, you have to be in the school of greatness a little bit longer. You have to be in the school of greatness a lot. Why? I always say, and everybody knows it, but when you're doing a swing shot, the further you pull it back, When you let it go, boom. So for me, it was like, I was like, mm-mm, it's gonna take 12, not because you're behind, it's gonna take 12 because that's how much time it's gonna take to develop you. So once I release you into the world, now you're gonna be able to do phenomenal stuff.

Let's go.

So I can't prepare myself to the dude that's just gonna get a job somewhere, who's just gonna settle, and all he's caring about is his life. He's not necessarily creating content. or writing books that are going to change the world. He's just trying to take care of his family. So 40 years worse than him. So now I'm comparing my life to a person who is not even trying to accomplish what I'm trying to accomplish. That's dangerous. Dangerous. Wow.

But I mean, what about the people? I mean, going back to kind of your story of the victim mindset. You know, your mom lies to you about your dad. You don't see your dad. You know, banned in warehouses, you know, all the problems, inner city kids, struggle, getting kicked out of school, struggling, you had everything against you, right?

And- ah, hold on, hold on, see? Yeah, I'm glad you said that. Okay, so I got you. So that's the outside, inside. So that's the, you had everything against you. No, the greatest problem was I was against me. Oh. That was the biggest challenge.

But most people, most people have both of that. I wouldn't say most people, but a lot of people might be listening or watching who might feel like the outside has been holding them down.

No question.

Their parents have been holding them down. Their school, their teachers, their coach doesn't give them the opportunity.

No question.

Their boss is holding them to whatever it might be. The economy is holding them down.

1000%.

Where I live is holding me down. The president, the whole, the president, the government, it's all holding me down.

Some of it, it's holding you down.

How does someone get to a place and maybe it's true that things are holding them down?

They're absolutely true, right? Maybe it's true.

But what I'm hearing you say that living in a victim mindset or living in an outside inside theory will not help you get to where you wanna be.

All I'm saying is this, they have the potential only to hold you down because you're allowing them to hold you down and you're seeing that they're holding down. Let me tell you the one thing I wish I could go back. All my mentors, everybody, everybody told me, and they were right. Look, bro, I'm not saying that they were wrong. You need to get a degree. You need to make some money. You need to do whatever. But what they taught me was that my greatest assets were real estate. My greatest asset was a degree or a career. Nobody ever told me I was my greatest asset. I'm my greatest asset. It doesn't matter. Look, people act as if, if you grow up in a house where your parents are rich, you're automatically, Bro, we can look at people who grew up.

In wealth and are messed up.

They messed up. They on drugs too. They make bad decisions too. Unfortunately, they take their lives as well. They check out, bro, it does not. So people think a money environment or you have both your parents in it and you get, so you think your story is, it doesn't matter where you come from. If you don't activate you, The environment doesn't matter anyway. Great environment, bad environment. If you're not activated, if you, I sit here sometimes and I could whip myself. My grandma used to whip me. I could whip myself. And why do I say that? Well, I'm sending to School of Greatness. Like, no, we were together 10 years ago. I'm still standing. I'm mad at me because, like you said, I got a PhD at 44. I could have got one when I was 34. I just didn't, I thought, you know, and I, when I go into the schools, I tell all us, everybody leave. Principals, counselors, everybody leave. Listen to me, kids. This is 2024. Y'all got the internet. Y'all on Tik Tok. Y'all blew Tik Tok up. And I know it because adults are on LinkedIn and Instagram. Tik Tok billionaire. Instagram. Why? Cause these young people are there. I said, when you show up to anything, it blows up. Here's my problem. You're in the school and you're failing. Why? Because you're waiting for the teacher to teach you. The teacher didn't teach you TikTok.

The teacher didn't teach you how to play YouTube.

Call of Duty. They didn't teach you how to do that. You did it on your own. Why? Cause you wanted to do it. And anything you activate, anything you do for you, it's gonna blow out. But you're waiting for some teacher to teach you. When you can pick up a book, you can go online and learn on your own. So in this environment, you are absolutely You're not reaching your full potential because you sitting back, oh, it's the teacher's job. It's the counselor's job to tell me when I'm supposed to graduate and what.

Classes I'm supposed to take. And then how to get in. And then what degree to get.

And then what job to get and put me in the right job. But she not call of duty. There's no school counselor. There's no teacher. There's no principal. And you on there with people from all over the world and y'all playing and communicating. And listen to me. These kids are so dope and they don't realize how dope they are. They did something with video games that we never did. They turned it into a career. You can make money without playing video games. I hate to date myself, but joysticks, I know it's been around for a while. But when it was joysticks, you couldn't make millions doing it. Now, because of these kids and they're taking this thing and giving it a life that it never had before. Anything you touch, when you know who you are, believe who you are, 'cause a PhD. I don't say that like, oh no, bragging. I say that because if I got a PhD, that means I could have finished high school. But I wasn't in school. I was just there because my mother dropped me off. I wasn't immersed in it. I wasn't excited about it. I wasn't enthused about it. And so it's like now I'm enthused about life and my life. And now I realize, yo, your mama don't got no, whatever she did, that was just to get you stopped. That's like on the swing. When somebody push you and get out the way, they don't, The swing doesn't work if that person keeps pushing you back and forth. It only works if they push you, they get out the way and you do your feet. And so it's like when I showed up and said, Eric, the government, where you come from, your dad not being in your mom's life, your mom being young, that has absolutely nothing to do with why you can't read. You can't read because you are lazy. You can't read because you don't take it as serious as you take playing Air Mintal Football. You shouldn't be playing Air Mintal Football. He should be studying. And so when I started taking my life serious, wow. Yeah. Again, I mean, I say this with all sincerity, I'm in one of the best podcasts in the world. And not only that, when people were asking about, I was like, oh no, I got a relationship. Like this ain't what you think it is. This is not, to your point, I don't do podcasts. I don't have that media schedule where you don't see Eric Thomas on different shows. I remind people, don't get it twisted, I can't be on shows. That's just not my thing. So I'm not here today just on some, I'm gonna, I'm gonna hit Louis by then I got this podcast, that's not what this is about. This is about a friendship that I'm tapping into and saying, man, it's good to see you alive. It's good to see that we made it and it's good. I still remember the red shoes with the red shorts.

Yeah, man.

Yeah, yeah. and we're in there, They're just kicking it and now I'm like, yo, this is an enterprise now. This is on a whole 'nother level. Not saying what you did two years ago with me was nothing. Sure, sure, sure. I'm saying this and it still be alive and it still be welcome. Yeah, man. It's like, it's beautiful, man. This is what happens when you realize you're your greatest asset and you tap into you. Nothing wrong with real estate. Yeah, yeah. Nothing wrong with investing the S&P 500. But at the end of the day, you have to be the first thing that you invest in. And if you invest in you, I just believe there's nothing that can stop you.

100%. And investing in you and being willing to stay consistent in the long run.

Absolutely.

Because we were just talking beforehand, we met 10 years ago. We've done a lot of stuff together. You've been on the show a few times. I've been to your events. You've spoken at my events. We've helped each other with book launches, all that stuff, and just been fans of each other over 10 years. and we've seen a lot of people in this space come and go. We've seen people try to come and they get a big hit and then they fall off and they don't stay consistent. And we've continued to stay consistent. And I think what both of us do really well is we have a vision of our, of a future that for ourselves in the world that we live into, we speak into that, and we constantly invest in our own personal growth. you're always growing, evolving, transforming, changing, whatever you wanna call it. And I feel like we have to hold ourselves to that standard, otherwise it could all go away if we don't. And so it- Doesn't go away. And I'm curious, for those that are listening or watching that are still thinking, you know what, it's just too hard for me. The world's against me. Like I hear what you're saying, ET. I know you did it. I know people like Oprah did it. Like all these kind of outliers, It's like, that's only for a few people who can really break through and create the life they want. My parents really didn't show up for me. I was abandoned or I got cheated on and abused and sexual abuse and physical abuse. And I know what you went through was pretty hard and it was tough in inner city, but what I'm going through is even harder. And it's just, it's too much of a weight. It's too hard. It's too much friction to eat healthier, to get up earlier, to be consistent. It's just too hard to hit. Do people need to think about motivation in order to overcome themselves and their problems and their challenges? Or do they need to think about being more disciplined to overcome the weight of the world they're feeling?

Yeah, I say both and, but to your point on the discipline, you need to be more disciplined about your minds.

What do people need to be thinking about with their minds?

So here's the deal. you already in pain, get a reward for it. It's just like, look, do me a favor. Everything you say, you right. But why go through life with whatever people did to you when you were younger or a young adult, and then you have to live with it for the next 40, 50 years? Like why would you sit here and all the stuff that you said was absolutely right? My daddy wasn't there, my mama did this person did to me. Why would you let them destroy your life?

Let's go.

Why would you let them own you? Why would you allow that thing they did to hurt you now define the rest of your life? It's like, no, I was in pain. It's real, but get a reward for it. So for me, walking into, first of all, driving here in a car service, getting to LA, walking in this beautiful facility, seeing the other businesses that are here, I'm like, E, I'm proud of you, bro. You made it, E. You could have stopped. That's the homeless boy. And nobody would have tripped. Your daddy wasn't there. Your mom was 17 when she got pregnant. All the negative that happened to you, Eric, we understand. Bump, understand. Let me tell you, one of the things that just blew my mind the other day. So we were fortunate to own a home in California on the hill, right? So we got this property. We got the basketball court with the logo, all the companies that whatever. And I go outside yesterday. and I see my wife and my son playing basketball. And I'm thinking to myself, in California, on the hill, looking at all these beautiful properties. Yeah, man. My wife and my son are outside hooping. Dream life.

My wife was like, I want to work out.

My son was like, I didn't even know. She was like, I'm going to play basketball. I'm like, I can't do it right now. And I'm listening to a voice. He came home, heard the basketball, went out with his mom. I'm like, yo, my son. 29 years old is spending time with his mom as an adult male. Wow. He could be anywhere doing anything. He's with his mom, her firstborn. They got this bond that I don't have, and they're out here hooping. And as I look at the property, I'm like, yo, what if this 16 year old Eric Thomas would have stayed the 16 year old Eric Thomas? So I'm saying, for those who are listening, get a reward for it and then do me a favor. Don't just think about you. Do you know that my son in his mind, this is where you, this is where you start. He got the son of the pool, the whirlpool. He's starting somewhere I never started. The cars, the Rolls-Royce, the Escalade. He started somewhere I didn't start. Why? Because I didn't stop where I started. I didn't stop. I was like, okay, this is where we started, but this is not about to be my end. And so his, His beginnings look dope. My man went to Michigan State and was a general manager for Izzo. He traveled the world. He's got a Final Four ring, Elite Eight ring. He's got the jack. He sat under Coach Izzo, Hall of Fame coach for four years. Coach OG. He sat under these guys. Some of his boys went to the league. There's some of them still in the league. He got that because I didn't go. I quit 'cause my mom, my dad did. So I quit. I give up. this is worst thing ever happened. I was like, you get a reward for it. And so to see my son, I'm coming to a concert tonight with my daughter. Listen to me, like I didn't give out. And so I'm saying to everybody, we all go through pain. Some of us go through pain and it becomes our tombstone. Some of us go through pain and it's a scar. And we live a life of rewards. I'm just gonna say again, 2025, do me a favor, check you. So you're in the ballot box. and you looking at all these options, doctor, lawyer, teacher, whatever you see, president, mayor, governor, do me a favor. Before you check off any of that S&P 500 real estate, before you check any of that, check you. Before you check anything, check you and go look yourself in the mirror and go, yo, I'm my lottery ticket. I'm my ticket out of the neighborhood or, you know, I'm the broken curse. like whatever you wanna call yourself. But the day I stopped saying, my mom, my dad, this person, the police, the cop, the day I stopped doing that, the day I said, you, do.

You think anyone can have a beautiful, amazing life if they live in a blaming mindset?

No, no. You know why? Because what I didn't realize as a young adult is that when you say to somebody else, whether you mean to do it or not, you give them the keys to your life.

You give them power over you.

They got your whole life in their hand. 'Cause you said it, you said it. They didn't do this and because they didn't, they got the keys. Now, I'll be honest, the reason why we don't wanna take the keys, 'cause we gotta drive. We gotta drive. And I told you today, I was like, I got too much to do. I normally drive. I'm like, I got too much to do.

And it felt good to be in the car driven.

It felt good.

Yeah.

Like, I'm on the phone talking to my wife. We having worship, doing our thing, making a couple business calls. Like, I don't have the responsibility of.

The traffic, paying attention.

I got my attention. He moved over and got, I was like, why is he stopping in the middle of the road? But it was a, the truck was going. So he had to move over. I didn't know what was going on because it was the first time in my life that I wasn't really responsible, 'cause I normally drive. And that's why people don't wanna drive in their lives. They don't wanna be responsible. It's so much easier to say, my life is messed up because you did this, you did that. once you take the keys now, you gotta go anything. But I'm gonna tell you this, this is why I like it. While it's more responsibility, it's more freedom. It's more independence. It's more control.

Opportunities, it's more opportunity.

They limited with the limitless when you take the keys. And so I took the keys in my life. I said, Ma, thanks. Dad, thanks for not being there for me. You gave me a dog, you gave me a passion, you gave me resilience. You taught me how to make it when the very thing that's supposed to be there for you isn't there for you. And I tell people, what I want, some kid asked me the other day, he's like, Man, wouldn't you say your son is lucky because you're in his life and his mom is in his life? I said, Yes and no. I said, Yes, he's blessed to have his mom and dad. But he ain't got that dog.

He doesn't have the hunger. He ain't got that drive.

My son is a great kid.

But he doesn't have the drive.

He ain't got the same drive I got. And that drive came without some stuff that I- Black. That stuff came from lack. And so I say to anybody, you gotta understand it could go either way. But when you take the, it's like I walk into a school and I ask, how many of y'all, 50 kids? How many kids in here? 1,000 kids? How many of your dads won in your life or was not living in the house? 90% raised that. Wow. And guess what? I automatically can relate to them. That's the Genesequa, that my daddy wasn't there. That's the it factor. If my father had been there, I might not be able to go in here and relate on my videos and go viral. People were like, okay, maybe if I just had Eric voice, or if I just scream and I just look passionate.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bro, that's not what it is. It's when I speak, you hear it because I've been through what you've been through. And so you recognize that voice. You recognize the pain, you recognize the struggle, but you recognize I overcame it. And that's why you're like, I wanna rock with this dude. Cause this one ain't, some kind of way, Eric ain't the one that's making us feel like, oh, it's okay that you went through this and it's okay that this, and it's okay if you don't wanna grow and it's okay if you don't wanna, no. What you hear from me is a coach that's saying, Jordan, you got six rings in you, but you got to stop playing this way and you gotta start playing this way. Coby, you got great, but you gotta do it this way. Serena, you gotta Venus, you gotta, Richard Williams is saying, he's not out there just- Good job, man. He's teaching, training, but he's also correcting. And so for me, they hear my voice, I'm not letting you get away with murder, because greatness is in you. The greatness is in you, and now it's time to go to school. It's time to go to work. and bring that greatness out of you. So yes, anybody, anybody could be successful. But as long as you're playing the blame game, you have given permission, the license, registration, the keys, you give it all over to somebody else. And the day you take it is the day that you can start deciding which direction you wanna go. Wow.

So it sounds like step one, take the keys back to your life.

Take the keys back.

What would steps two and three be for setting people up for their ultimate life? With that beginning process, is it, get clear on a goal? Is it start with motivation, start with discipline, like change your habits? What would the next couple steps be to set up the mindset for success?

I would say step two, and I don't know why they don't teach this in school. Be your first best friend. You know, like get to know you. We're so busy wanting to be in a community that we don't realize we are a community.

Right?

And look, I'm not trying to be deep, you know, people could, you know, you believe this, you don't believe in this. But what I was taught, you know, in school, especially Catholic school, it seemed like Adam was by himself first. It doesn't seem like it was like a, somebody else. It's like Adam was first and then whatever happened after that. So the first man was by himself. And I think that's important for those of us who study that. Why? Because all of us think we have to have somebody to be somebody. and this guy started on it, he started his journey on his own before he connected with somebody, whatever. He knew his purpose, you know, he walked in his confidence, he walked in his, and a lot of us are going, I hear people all the time, well, I'm not doing good, like why not, I don't have nobody, I'm not in a relationship. I'm saying, you telling me, no listen to me very closely. Do you think for one minute that getting in a relationship with somebody, it can't be the key because so many people have gotten in relationships and gotten out of it. That can't be the key. Now, two healthy people, not perfect, but two healthy people coming together. Oh no, that's different.

It's expansive.

But guess what has to happen?

You gotta be healthy with you.

You gotta be healthy before you can be with them. So we even messing each other up when we have two dysfunctional people trying to connect with each other because we think two functional people gonna come together and make each other happy. It's not gonna work. So I just think the first step after the first step is you gotta figure out who you are and love you and feel good about you. and show up in the ring you and not care what nobody think about you. And that's why this relationship has worked so well for me over the years because when we're together, it's never been a thing of E, why you do that? Or E, why you do that? Or E, why you do that? It's always been like E, you have a unique set of skills that make you great. You have a unique set. And so we've always focused on what's our unique skill and what do you know that I don't know? And how can you help me get there? And so a lot of these young kids are joining things they shouldn't join and being with people because they think their happiness is going to come from being with somebody else. And I just think if you be, if eagles aren't trying to, they just are, they're not trying, lions aren't, what do you think about me? What do you think about my roar? You think I'm too loud when I roar? They're not concerned. And so I think step two, figure out who you are, love you, and step three, figure out your North Star and wake up every single day going after your North Star. Because when you have a North Star, you know, and the people that you love and you spend time with have a North Star, have a purpose, and they look, their purpose might be we both have people whose purposes are to help us with our purpose.

Yes.

They don't necessarily have an individual purpose. Like they felt like they were called to help us with that. Serve our mission. That's it. So we need a north star so they can know what their north star is. So that would be my third one. It's like, you gotta figure out what makes you happy. And again, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with, first time I did a behind the scenes coming in here, just because I was like, to my Patreon community, like, yo, y'all need to understand where I am and what's going on. But I don't, if you follow me on Instagram or TikTok, wherever I'm on, you don't see behind the scenes. I think that's a phenomenal tool to show other people what, but my wife is private. So for us, that does not work. She does not want to be seen in the limelight. She doesn't want to be in Dubai and stop and go, let's take a, let's document what we do. She doesn't like that. So for some people it works, but I don't have to do that to still find a space. Right, there's some people, you know, they do tours, right? I don't do tours. That's not my thing. I used to do them, I don't do them now. There's some people that write books, some people don't write books. Like, it doesn't matter. But what matters is you have to find a thing that wakes you up at 3 o'clock or 6 o'clock or 10 o'clock. Like, you gotta find the thing that brings the life out of you, the joy out of you, the happiness out of you. And you can't do that following somebody else's North Star. So my last one will be, figure out what you was put on this earth to do. And I mean every single chance you have to do it, do it. And when you're not doing it, enjoy your life. My son was like, damn, I'm tired. I said, you tired? You burnt out for what? Look at your mom and dad. You work for the family car. What are you doing? Well, I've been up the last six days working 10, 12 hours. I said, for what? What would you be doing that for? Why wouldn't you take advantage of the, you said, what should I be doing? I said, you should figure out what it is you do. He's a designer, right? You should be designing clothes Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, whenever, five, six hours a day. And then Saturday, Sunday, or Friday, Saturday, because of your family, you should get a trip somewhere and go spend it with a friend. You should go to Italy, you should go to Rome, son. You should go to South Africa, son. You should go to the Gold Coast. In Australia, son, what are you doing? You should work. But a part of work also is where's your play? You should play. We worked hard so you could be balanced. So don't be like us. We grew up in a working class home. We grew up in Detroit. We grew up blue collar. You're not blue collar. So go enjoy your life. Be balanced. So I'm not just saying find your no star in terms of what you've been called to do for others. But there should be a healthy amount of time that you spend enjoying your life, you know, and enjoying the little time that you have here. We both know we won't be doing this podcast 100 years from now.

Sure.

We don't know how much longer we have, but I won't be 154 sitting down talking to you. So however much time I have left, I need to work hard and I need to enjoy that time.

Absolutely. Those are beautiful, man. I've heard you talk about a concept I want to share in a second. But I feel like there's a group of people we've been talking to, you've been talking to that are the people that have maybe don't have the opportunities they want. They don't have the life they want. They feel like people are holding them down. That's one group. Then there's another group of people, which I feel like is a majority of people that have a good life. It's okay. It's good. But they're not living a great life for themselves. maybe they got a good job and they're pretty healthy, got a decent relationship, but something, there's like something missing. I think if you can, if that resonates with anyone listening or watching, comment below or leave a like if you feel like, yeah, my life is good, but I feel like something's off. You have this great concept called creating a mental rock bottom to push yourself towards your goals. Can you share more about kind of some practical steps of creating your own Mental Rock Bottom so that you can go to the next level in your life.

Okay, I wanna use the term that you use and you said create. And I just think so many of us have stepped into careers, that group. We have worshiped careers more than we worship create. And so the first thing I would say to that group is, what would life look like if you did it on your terms? 'Cause right now you're really not doing on your terms. What you've done is say, Yo, if I want to survive, if I want to strive, this is what I have to do. And you have allowed people to tell you, okay, you need to be an engineer. Yeah. Or you need to be a, and you need to move in. So you've done a phenomenal job in being obedient. You've done a phenomenal job in complying. Yes. Like you've done a phenomenal job. You follow the rules. Yes. Congratulations. You know what I'm saying? Like you didn't rob a bank. You know what I'm saying? Like you haven't done anything illegal. You did exactly what a good child should do. And I have a daughter that I have to get on her sometimes because she's that child that's like, yo, dad, what do you guys want me to do? And I said, do me a favor. Don't always be obedient.

Yeah.

Like you need to sit down and ask yourself, if you weren't thinking about the family's name, if you didn't, if Eric Thomas, E.T. the Hip Hop Preacher was not your father, what would you be doing? What would you be doing if you didn't have to worry about honoring, you know, the dynasty? And you do a phenomenal job on honoring this dynasty. I'm not taking anything. Went to school, handled your business. You've never been in trouble before. We've never had to spend money doing anything. You've been a phenomenal child. But what would you do if you live life on your terms and you were able to go where you even want to do? And so that's the first thing I would ask them to do. I want you to think about your life instead of the life. because that's what you've been thinking about, the life. Now think about your life and I want you to start putting it everywhere. Now, the next thing I want you to do is I want you to know that if you have the ability, like I'll never forget CJ was like, okay, E, you know what you missing? That the big boy, all the big boy speakers, you know what you're missing? I was like, no. He was like, the New York Times best seller. Now I'm not telling you gotta do it, but I'm saying- that's what's missing. That's one of the- you- got it.

We got it.

So he was like, first of all, do you want it? Do you want it?

Don't do it, 'cause I'm saying you can't have it.

But do you want it? I hear you. And it could elevate you, but do you want it? I was like, yeah, I want it. The next question becomes, what does it take to do it? And then am I willing to do what it takes to get it?

Because it's a lot.

It's a lot. But here's the thing. I believe if you think about it, it is only because somewhere inside of you, you have what it takes. Now capacity is there. Willingness is something totally different.

Yes.

That's different. But I want every human to know, you wouldn't be watching the school, you wouldn't be watching or listening to the School of Greatness if you didn't believe you were great. But I'm just, for real, you wouldn't be spending time with this man on a regular basis. I'm telling you, I wouldn't be going to Columbus. I drove to Columbus. Trust me when I tell you, it's not a, you don't get off the freeway. It's not 65 and get up. Why did I go? Because this man is great and greats want to hang with greats. I need y'all to understand. Look, y'all may not know. Listen to me. I've got Nomad suitcases that I still carry this day because he gave them to me. Like, I didn't buy a new one. I've carried these exact same ones that he gave me. And my son bought a set because I had a set. Because it reminds me of him. When I travel, it's like greatness, greatness. So you wouldn't be watching, you wouldn't be locked in, something in your spirit has you tuned into this day, 'cause you know you're great. Now you gotta say to yourself, am I willing to cooperate with the greatness that's in me? And then once you do, and you start consistently operating in that, you're gonna feel good about it. Here's what you have to do. You have to understand, Andre Deschamps, I think said, the top of one mountain is the bottom of the mix. Wow. So you get to the top of the mountain, but you understand the GED was just one, the four degree was just one, the master's was just after the PhD was the New York Times. After that, it's the assessments, it's the training, it's the coaching. I'm in masterminds. I get coached.

Yep.

Right. And so it's this idea of yesterday's greatness can't be enough because I'm alive today. So if I'm alive today, it must be some more greatness in me. And it's my job, like the toothpaste, it's my job not to just look, I don't know about you, but I would just use a little bit of it and get another one. I get the last drop. I'm squeezing, and I got money, I'm squeezing that toothpaste. Why? 'Cause I'm trying to get everything out the tube before I go to another one. And with my life before I get out of here, which is why I could murder myself. that I didn't realize at 12 that I was great. And that's why I said, you got a check in 2025, you 2025, right? Because I didn't know I was great. And once I checked it and realized how great I was, I was like, bruh, we gonna keep doing this until the day we die. And so I would just say to you, you're watching, you're in this space, you're reading his books, you're going to his conferences because you no, it's in you and it's time to stop being lazy and it's time to activate.

I love that, man. Well, here's the thing why I think a lot of people might stay stuck is they allow their feelings to keep them in place of frustration. You have this great example that you say execution should be fact-based, not feeling-based, but people feel the overwhelm of the economy or the government or their to their parents or their partner or whatever the responsibilities of the world, they feel anxious, avoiding, overwhelmed, burnt out, like doubtful, insecure, and they allow feelings to consume their inaction. So how, what's an example of how someone can shift from being driven by emotions into fact based actions towards their goals?

It was what you teach, man, the meditation thing. People don't take yeah. This is the time to get control of your mind. And for most of us, our mind is in control of us. So when you talk about meditating, it's like, this is a habit of the greats. And one of the habits of those individuals who are not where they want to be is, I'm not trying to be funny, but it's like lazy to actually meditate regularly is a discipline.

It is, man. It's not easy.

It's not easy to get control of your, I'm like, where did that thought come from? Right? So, guys, let's go back to the 12 year old that found the birth certificate, right? We found the birth certificate. We found the birth certificate in the emotional state.

Oh yeah.

We found it in an emotional state.

Yeah.

Listen to me. I'm not the first kid who has ever gone through this experience. And you know what? I had to ask myself in that mirror at 16, 17, 18, I had to keep asking myself, when you saw it, why did you see it that way? Why did you not call your mom and say, Mom, you would talk about this? Why didn't you go, Hey, Mom, the counselor, can we go sit down and talk to the counselor? Hey, Mom, call Dad. Can we just sit down? And I listened to me. I went from, I can't believe that you would do me like this. I went from a ball of emotions to living in abandoned buildings. It was the stupidest decision I have probably ever made. I put myself in so much danger as a 12 year old, 13 years old, homeless.

Based on emotions.

Only emotions. So the same document, nothing changed about it. But if I could go back as this adult and look at that, I would look at it as facts and go, wow, your mother protected you. Wow, your mom loved you so much that she didn't want you with your biological father because she thought he could be a threat. Right, wrong, or indifferent, your mom didn't do this because she was trying to hurt you. Your mom did this because she was trying to protect you. Your mom brought you into a family. Your mom didn't try to hide the identity. She wanted this man to be your father. He changed your name and gave you his last name. Wow. He treated me as if I was his own. Wow. He didn't lie. He made his family treat me as if I was, and don't ever say anything about my past because my past has nothing to do with him making a decision at the courthouse to be my dad. It's the same document. One emotional, the other one is factual. Your mother loves you. Your mother cares for you. Your mother's trying to put you in a healthy environment. Your mother has a job. Your mother married somebody who was a former GM. he has a job, he has a college degree, he played basketball, he's a responsible man, he protects us from, take care, but emotion wouldn't let me be rational. Emotional wouldn't let me think rationally. It had me irrational. So I would say when you make emotional decisions, you get emotional consequences. But it takes meditation, it takes controlling of the mind to say, how should I behave? How should I think? in this situation and what's gonna give me the best outcome? And I'm gonna be honest, I've learned we can save the emotions for when I'm looking at the Nomad bag and going, man, that's my boy. Thank you. Why would you even buy me? Like what would make you think of, and this is a perfect gift? You know what I'm saying? Like I didn't think to buy suitcases for myself. That's where the emotion should be. Me coming in, seeing you, hugging you. What's up fam? But when it comes to business, when it comes to being a leader and a decision maker, We're not doing emotions. We're doing empirical evidence. We're doing facts.