This content was created by Lewis Howes. This content was uploaded by Lewis Howes. This is a YouTube video titled "Questions to ask narcissists!" created on September 15, 2025. It features a conversation with Lewis Howes and two other speakers discussing techniques for evaluating alignment and authenticity through facial expressions and open-ended questions, particularly in professional settings.
Chapters
What's a question or two you could ask to evoke a facial expression to see whether or not. Okay, we're in alignment.
Right. So obviously stay away from, in general.
The yes or no questions. The yes or no questions can be used to follow up.
Okay, so you could say it, but then follow up with something.
Right. But I would generally ask open ended questions and I would ask things like do you know, tell me a little bit about why you want this role or why you want to work with me, why you want to work with this business. And, and then watch to see that this person is one. I mean, they have to give interesting answers, right? It has to. The answer itself needs to be something that, that is motivating for me or feels like this person's a good fit. Like they have the skills and they have the desire. But I am watching if they match.
Their facial expressions, match the words, a.
Lot of people can say, oh, you know, all the exciting things of why they want to be a partner or work at the job or whatever it might be, but their face isn't matching the words, then you can tell something's off. Yeah.
So this is suppression.
We make that bubble.
It's almost like, you know that the chewing, the people who do the chewing tobacco. So sometimes they take it out, right?
Exactly.
They stuff it in the bottom. So sometimes they put it up top.
But it's almost a Nordic country boy.
Like chewing tobacco thing.
And it's not even a micro expression, but it's this.
Because it takes so.
Many muscles to make that. Barack Obama, king of suppression, makes that face all the time.
It's. I'm holding back, doesn't he?
What's he hold back on? You think how he truly feels or.
How he truly feels or this is, you know, I, this information is not.
Going to help or this is not going to be received.
Well, I mean, you can imagine self.
Control is a good quality in a leader, right?
But he says, you know, there's something he's not happy with. Right.
He's got, he wants to say it's the grown up version of this.
He wants to say something.
He's biting our tongue, but he's being.
Mindful that, okay, I might hurt myself if I say how. Truth.
Right. Also could be simply if we're in.
A meeting and the meeting's going over and some subject is brought up and I'm like, oh, I have so many thoughts about this, but I'm not, not right now.
So it's just, you're itching to say it. So that holding back is such a.
Useful thing to see in board meetings. In any conversation.
If I see somebody.
Holding back on what they really feel, that would be a warning for me. In a one to one interview, if we're in a big group setting, I would pull that person aside afterwards because likely they're not saying it because it's not something they want to say out loud in front of those specific people or in a group setting, but the person will almost always spill.
