SELF-HEALING Secrets: The Simple Practice That Changed EVERYTHING for Me | Melissa Wood-Tepperberg

I remember just like getting up, looking in the mirror and being like, I hate you.

Wow.

I had so much hate towards myself. I just had like tears rolling down my face and I was like, I don't want this anymore. Hi, I'm Melissa Wood-TeppeRberg.

Certified yoga and pilates instructor.

I am the founder of the MWH Method. Melissa Wood-TeppeRberg. Melissa Wood-TeppeRberg. And I just remember I was like, OK, I want it, but I need help. And that was the biggest moment for me from being a little girl who thought that she could fix every single thing and like I carried the weight of everyone and... Wow. But I was just not saving myself. I felt all the waves of it. It was definitely a panic attack, I believe, because I think at that time I didn't even really know what anxiety was, but I was like, mm-mm, nope, and like shut the door to it. And that really translated to like going out, drinking.

It was numbing yourself.

Numbing. I started meditating and that's how I'm here. It was the thing that helped me see myself for the first time for who I really was.

Wow, that's beautiful.

I just want to wake people up to this inner strength within themselves. That's it. That's what I have to do for myself every single day. And I've actually never talked about this, but.

Welcome back, everyone, to the School of Greatness. Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring Melissa Wood-Tepplerberg in the house. So good to see you.

Thank you for being here.

Very excited. We connected months ago. Super Bowl, is that what it was?

Super Bowl party. Was it Super Bowl or F1?

It was Super Bowl. Super Bowl. Gary Vaynerchuk was hosting a little gathering. We met there, but I'd obviously seen your work online for the last few years as you've continued to just soar with your content, with your message, and how you're inspiring and impacting millions of people around the world, mostly, assuming mostly women who kind of follow your content and who are really inspired by you. A lot of the women on my team are just like, oh, Melissa, she's so amazing and what she's doing. And so it's been cool to watch your your rise, but I know that, you know, you grew up very dysfunctional, similar to me. You struggled in school and kind of cheated your way through school, similar to me, and just didn't feel like you were enough. And so therefore, you know, similar to me, you wore masks, you projected like a sense of everything's got everything put together and everything looks got to look perfect and can't show people the real traumas underneath you. And you wore those masks for a long time to protect yourself, to fit in, to belong, to get ahead. whatever it might be to survive. But when did those masks start falling off for you? When did you really start to feel like, oh, I'm in a dark place the longer and longer I hold on to this perfect image when underneath I don't feel perfect at all?

Well, interestingly enough, I feel like I'm in this place in my life where I'm like ripping off a new mask.

Right now.

Right now.

Really?

Yes. And honestly, like in this very moment, because as you overcome or continue to work through, right? Because I don't ever think you fully, completely heal traumas. And that's kind of my biggest awakening today is like, even after all the work, it's like, and I love the work. I love the process. I've learned to be in the process. But I'm just discovering new things and new wounds have come to the surface. And I think when you get to a place of where you are really elevating and you're shifting into a different gear, like it's amazing what kind of shows its face to like knock you down in a sense and almost like I think about it, it's like, how bad do I really want? How bad do I really want to continue this quest of becoming? And I grew up in a very dysfunctional upbringing. I have four sisters. My baby brother was born when I was 15. My dad remarried. But it was just this endless cycle of survival. and doing anything that you can to, you know, for me, I'm the middle child.

Of the five. And I'm assuming it wasn't like survival, like we don't have food and shelter survival, but emotional survival.

Emotional survival. And we did grow up very poor. So it was scarcity mindset. And, you know, my mom worked so many jobs. My dad worked so many jobs. And it was like, no matter what, there was never really enough.

So, and money, it was always like a stress around money problems.

Always, always a stress around money. And I was very observant to that. I was so aware of how our surroundings made my mom feel. And I knew since the age of seven that I could help or I could ease some stress. And for me, that was like stepping in like the household and cleaning, like doing all the chores, helping my sisters with their homework, even like, I made this, we had this chalkboard and I would like make a list of all the things that we had to do. My sisters despised me growing up because I was super bossy and I just felt like someone had to step in. And I just like, I remember that feeling. at such a young age. And I think when you embody that energy, it's so wildly disruptive for your nervous system. And when you're in it, like when I was living in Syracuse, I just, like, I did all the things that I could to just, like, push it down. And-- what things? Well, I was embarrassed that, you know, we didn't have a lot of money when we would go, like when we would get clothes for school, it was like we got one outfit and then, you know, I would be the one curating the look so that my sisters and I could swap looks so that we, it looked like we had more money. Yeah, more clothes and the emotional. stuff, you know, when your parents aren't showing up for, like, I remember this, oh, my God, so vividly. I was in second grade, and it was like parents day, and the song, Don't Worry, Be Happy was on. And we were going around in a circle, and every kid had their parents. And I just, like, I remember.

Being.

Alone and just like not having my parents show up. And I was so embarrassed, but I was so hurt and I wanted to cry, but I wouldn't because I didn't want other people to see. And it, you know, I always tried to make like, oh yeah, no, no. My mom couldn't come and I don't even know if my mom remembered, but I remember the teacher holding my hand and like walking around with me and like just trying and Those things for me, it was like it was constantly those types of things are, you know, at a softball game and your parents not showing up or forgetting to pick you up and just, you know, they had a lot of kids and a lot of responsibility, but it's when you're a child, it deeply affects you.

Isn't it fascinating that you still remember that today? And it's like, oh, yeah. These memories we keep with us. And you know, you're a parent now. I'm not a parent yet, but I can only imagine, like, I'm sure you try to show up to everything you can. You try to be there for them, everything you can. But then there might be some amazing business opportunity where you're like, oh, do I go do this thing? And then have the babysitter or the nanny make sure they take them to school that day. But then is that the thing they're gonna remember when they're 40? And, like, is that their trauma gonna be like, everyone else's parents were there, and mine didn't show up because she had a business meeting or whatever? It's like, we, it's, you probably can't win as a parent, no matter how hard you try.

Yes.

There's gonna be some wound or some memory because at seven, eight, 10 years old, you don't have a lot of life. And that's like such a big moment for your life. It's such a pressure for a parent, I bet.

It is. And, and I think as I've become a parent, I am, oh my gosh, I'm, it like changed my relationship with my parents. And then sometimes that changes again, but it's, it's, It helps you to really understand how freaking hard it is.

And have compassion for your parents.

And like, they didn't have the means, they didn't have, and even just like, I think of the mindfulness movement. I'm like, I don't think those conversations.

Were- They didn't have time.

-Had.

In survival mode, you don't have time to be mindful. No. You're just, what do I need to do right now to survive emotionally? And maybe financially or physically or whatever. You might, you're in survival. you don't have the time to say, let me breathe, let my nervous system relax. We don't have that privilege in survival mode. And even if you have financial stability, but your parents are emotionally up and down constantly, you're still going to feel like you're in survival mode emotionally. Is it safe to be in this home? And that's kind of how I felt. It was like every week there was slamming or screaming or just dis-ease within my parents. You know, I knew that they loved us, but they didn't love each other.

Yeah, same.

And they tried, but it was just constant friction where you're just like, what's gonna happen today when I come home from school? I don't know. Yeah.

Oh, I am, I rode the same bus.

It's traumatic, right?

It's so traumatic.

Very traumatic. So, and you mentioned in the beginning about how, you know, healing and inner growth is a lifelong journey. And it sounds like, I don't wanna assume, but it sounds like around 10 years ago when you were starting your business, you were kind of in early phases of a healing journey for yourself. Is that accurate somewhere around there? You like started to uncover things and unmask things within yourself and you went down more of a spiritual, holistic path, right?

Yes. I would say it was a little bit longer than that, more of like almost like 17, 15 years.