Lewis Howes talks with Joe Dispenza about letting go of grudges and emotional intelligence. Dispenza argues that holding onto past grievances keeps you stuck in old emotional patterns and prevents you from living in the present moment, which is essential for personal growth and well-being.
Chapters
Learning to shorten the refractory period of your emotional responses is emotional intelligence, Right.
And getting really good at that then allows a person to show up differently. And when people. When people create the life they want, which happens a lot, why would they. Why would they hold a grudge?
Right?
Why. Why would they do that? They trust. They free themselves, and they free that person. Like. Like everybody's been betrayed, everybody's been hurt. But if your life is wonderful, who cares like that? Whoa. I just. I. I mean, I wasn't conscious or whatever, and then now it's. When your life isn't working and it ain't working, and you're living by the same emotion, and that past is. You're going to keep it alive, but you're the only one keeping it alive. Where did. Where is it? Where is your past? Where is it? It's only there, right?
It's in a memory.
It's a memory.
It's not here.
Yeah, it's not here. So then people spend enormous amounts of time not even knowing, not even aware that they're living in that state. And always predicting. The default mode network in the brain is always predicting the next moment based on what it's learned in the past. Right?
If you're holding a grudge of the past, it's going to predict that in the future. You're just going to get ready for the next one. You're recreating the past. You're. Your future is your past. Oh, man. Yeah.
And.
And, and there's.
And that's all the known, right? So getting a person to no longer.
Live in the predictable future, you know, where they're just habituated, where they get up and do things and they're on a program. Getting a person that's the predictable future is the known. Familiar past is the known. Living by the emotion, remembering the event.
If the.
If the familiar past is the known and the predictable future is the known, there's only one place where the unknown can be. That's the present moment.
Getting a person to labor for the.
Present moment liberates energy in the body. And that's when the person starts feeling.
More like themselves and they don't feel as altered.
And so you overcome the emotion of resentment. Just use this as an example by.
Sitting in the fire for a week.
And just facing off with it and just working with your body and retraining.
It to a new mind, I guarantee you that when you see your ex, you'll see a part of you you used to be that you no longer are. And you'll have nothing but compassion, you and love for her. And you'll be like, wow, Wow. I get it. I totally get it. It's no longer the past anymore. You're not connected to it any longer. And you free that person, and your relationship changes and something shifts, and there's. She's. He's. She's seeing you differently because you're showing up differently. It's not anything you're saying. You're not lecturing them. They're just not showing up as the memory they had of you. And that allows them to be different.
