Lewis HowesYour Personal 24/7 Greatness Coach

Stop trying to change your parents...

19 Oct 2026 · 1 min

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0:42

In this brief segment of Lewis Howes' YouTube video, the host asks how to improve relationships with parents or spouses without trying to change them. The guest proposes a shift from a corrective stance to a curious, researcher-like approach: sit down over coffee and ask the other person about their upbringing, family dynamics, likes and dislikes. By exploring their past, you change your emotional perspective toward them, fostering a healthier connection.

So instead of trying to change our parent or change our spouse for what we don't like about them, what should we be trying to do instead to create a healthier relationship with them?
What if you were to— mom sits down or dad sits down or whatever, and they're at the table and you have coffee and go, you know, what was it like when you grew up? What was it like in your family? What did you like about it and what did you not like about it? I'm being a researcher. Now I've just changed emotional location with them.