Struggling In Life? What You NEED To Know To GET AHEAD & MAX OUT Your Life RIGHT NOW | Ed Mylett

You know if you're feeling anxiety, fear, helplessness, you know that's your ego. Really? Because it's about you. You've made it about you. If you can get out of you and serve someone else. So let's talk about some stuff to help everybody right now. So I'll share one to begin with and then we'll just kind of go back and forth because I know everybody's like, Some good news everyone. Let's start out with some good news. I know many of you are suffering. I know a lot of people are scared. I've seen these unemployment numbers kind of just going through the roof. When you look at someone who you might think is successful like Louis or myself, remember it wasn't that long ago that we were right where you are. Is there any money in the ATM when we go there? Worried about being able to eat. we've both been broke a lot longer than we've been not broke. And so it wasn't that long ago for either one of us and we both have friends and family that are struggling as well. So I'm really sensitive to that and I've been prayerful and I've done everything I can from that standpoint trying to serve like you and I are going live right now. So I don't mean to minimize any of that, but some good news. I have some friends and so do you that have been on both our shows that are pretty well politically connected on both sides. I will share with everybody that as of this morning, I've been hearing more optimism than I have in a long time from them that perhaps there's some light coming in terms of being able to get back to work in a modified way. Maybe in the beginning of May, maybe middle of May, depending upon where you live. And I think that's exciting news. I just watched Governor Cuomo's press conference. He was even talking about those things. And so, you know, I think there's some light potentially at the end of the tunnel. That doesn't mean more dark times aren't ahead. Who knows in the fall if there's a resurgence or something like that, but I definitely think that there's a resurgence, there's something positive coming. One of the things I'm most excited about everybody, I must tell you, is how I've seen so many people pull together. One cool thing about this, because you're always asking yourself, how's this happening for me, not to me? What can I learn from this? If you just control the quality of the questions, because what's thinking? Thinking is asking and answering questions to yourself. So if you can control the questions, you can control the thinking, right? We lose control of our thoughts when we lose control of the questions we ask ourselves. So I'm always, every day, what's it teaching me today? What can I learn from it? I had this epiphany last night. I just shared with you, and then I'm curious as to your thoughts. You know, one of the benefits—and I wish this didn't happen—but one of the huge benefits is I almost feel like there's a slight to major consciousness change happening. On the globe right now. Yeah. About what really matters. We've become such a, especially social media, such a consumer culture about outside things, outside of us, material things, achievements, winning, making money, getting to our goals, which you and I are all about, right? School of Greatness and Max Out. But the really important things seem to be becoming more apparent again, maybe like they were 40, 50 years ago. Almost like a reset. Friends, family, our personal freedoms, our health, you know, some of the basic things in life, I almost feel like it's a reset. And I don't see us going back immediately to this crazy world where we don't have gratitude for friends, family, our faith, our freedoms, our health. Don't you feel that way? I feel like almost everyone's reevaluating that new perspective.

I feel like every time I listen to your show and, you know, For me, I've had this many different times in my life where it's a forced awakening or forced consciousness because when things are good or average, we don't change. And you talk about this all the time. We don't change when things are good or when they're average. When you got a good job, when you got a good relationship, when you got good health, you're 80% of the way there where you want to be. You're not forced to change and you don't have enough motivation or commitment or vision to see that extra 20%. When things are bad, we typically don't change either. When things are bad, we get used to that bad, that negative routine, that negative mindset. It gives us certain benefits, as you talk about, the prices and rewards that each of these things give us. It's when things become tragic where we have a horrible divorce, we have a big breakup in relationship, we break our arm, we have a surgery or near-death experience or someone close to us dies or near-death experience. we lose our job that we were passionate about. When something tragic happens, that's when we wake up and we're forced to have awakening, we're forced to have consciousness and say, what's the point of my life? And we start asking those better questions like you said before. And that's when we start to say, okay, I'm in this place and I don't want to be here anymore. Where do I want to be and how do I get there? And then we start looking for the tools. We listen to Ed, we find different books and tools and Apps to support us on that process. But this is the best in my opinion, it's the worst thing that could happen and the best thing that happened for so many people because a lot of people were in a bad place, but it wasn't enough for them to change or they were in a good place and it wasn't enough for them to grow. So we just stayed in complacency with where we were and there's nothing right or wrong about it, but we weren't able to get to the places we truly desired with our heart, we really wanted to sing about until we shifted some way. And unfortunately, it takes a lot for us to shift, like you talk about all the time, and it's just forced us now. And I think it'll be a few.

Years of us that we hold on.

To this and remember, then we're gonna forget. Just like every crisis, you remember 2008, for me, that's when I had nothing. And you forget sometimes until there's another crisis and you're like, you know what? I remember that time when I was broke. And I don't want to go back there.

You're so right. You know one of the things that's happened for me, that's so true. I had 9/11 too. It reminds me of 9/11 a little bit where everybody kind of came together.

For a couple of years, maybe five years, you remember a lot. And around the anniversary, you remember, but you kind of moved on in a sense, right?

You're so right. One of the things for me, I'll share with everybody that's a little bit different, that's been good for me, and this includes you. I've been grinding so hard for the last three, four, five years, and I know you have too.

You've been going hard, man. You've been going 20 times harder than anyone I know.

Oh, you go. You do, too. And that's why your businesses have flourished. School of Greatness has blown up. All the books you've sold. I mean, let's be real, brother. You do, too. And for me, one of the great blessings of this has been I've been putting things out all the time. and maybe some of you feel that way at your work, I've really taken a chance. You're one of my best friends. I listened to your show when I could before. You listened to mine when you could. I've consumed probably 30 of your podcasts in the last four weeks. Andy Frusella, who's my partner in the RTA Syndicates, for the first time in many months, I'm like, wow, this show's amazing. Tom, you're amazing. I'm using this as a chance in between working. I've got to be honest with everybody. I have these couple homes you see me in. This is my wine room, why there's an echo. And I do it because I'm hiding from family. But I basically live in this seat 18 hours a day. And then my other home, I live in my home office. So I haven't moved much, but I am taking it as an opportunity to grow, is my point. I'm really—when this is done and they relaunch us out into the world, that same version of you ain't going to get it done because it's going to be a little bit more difficult. You're going to need momentum. One thing I keep telling everybody is, I'm booking my calendar for meetings in May. And if I don't want them to go, okay, you can come back and I go, well, Monday's open, Wednesday's open, Friday's open. Those of you that have hair salons or businesses where you meet with people, assuming you can schedule the meetings now. If you're wrong, you can reschedule them May 5th, May 10th, May 15th. You don't want to get caught not ready. And so one of the things for me, man, is like especially your show, I listen to I went back and listened to your Kobe Bryant episode two nights ago. There's so many things in there. There's so many things. I actually went back and listened to Ray Lewis. I listened to Jay Shetty. I listened to Scooter Braun. I've gone back and really listened. I've got to just acknowledge you for this, brother. We both are creating things all the time. What you've put together is so magnificent and there's such resource there. I'm not on here selling Lewis's show. I'm telling you, there are several people out there that if you haven't taken the time to listen to my stuff or listen to Lewis's or Andy's or Rachel or Tom Bilyeu, I don't want to just name those. It's not right to just name a few people, but I find myself appreciating, when I was younger, which was a million years ago, there was Tony Robbins DVDs.

And now days, there's one place to go.

One guy, one thing. I must have listened to one of those out. So that's one thing I'm doing, one other tip, and then I'll let Louis jump in. If you're feeling helpless right now, become helpful. You can't simultaneously be helpful and helpless. When you can get out of you, you know ironically, and this is a hard thing to swallow, I did a podcast on ego where I talked about this. You know if you're feeling anxiety, fear, helplessness, you know that's your ego. Really? Because it's about you. you've made it about you, if you can get out of you and serve someone else, one of the things Lewis is incredible at is always serving. Hey, I mean randomly guys, I'm telling you, you'll be out on a walk video, I see this face. Hey brother, just thinking about you, is there anything I can do? But it's not generic either. Like, please tell me something I can do to help you, to serve you right now. And I'm not the only guy that Lewis does this with. And I learned to do that, bro, from you. So give us a couple other ideas about how someone can be helpful so they're not feeling helpless.

Yeah, I think it's great. I just wrote that down. Every time Ed speaks, I get a notepad out and write this down. So make sure you guys write that down. If you're just joining us, there's a little airplane button right here, a little triangle airplane thing. You can click on that and share to your story so more people can view this and hear this in the next 24 hours. And also just tag me and Ed, and we're going to reshare a couple of these that you post out there and send a couple of books out to you guys. So go ahead and do that as we're talking. It's interesting you said that because I've been researching more, I'm writing a book about overcoming self-doubt, and I've been asking everyone when I'm interviewing them what do you do to overcome self-doubt? And Simon Sinek, when I had him on last, I said, what is this whole doubt thing to you? And why do people doubt themselves? And how do you become bulletproof with your belief and all these different things and your confidence? And he said exactly what you said, not as eloquently as you did, because I think helpless and helpful is much better, more memorable. But he said, I was working with this really brilliant woman for a long time. She's been a friend of mine for a long time. this master's or PhD or whatever it is. She's got all the credentials, but she doesn't believe in herself. And I would always try to coach her and give her advice and give her challenges and try this thing and do this for 30 days and go out and try this. And it would work a little bit, but I got defeated because my coaching wasn't working is what he was saying basically. Like I thought I was the guy that had all the answers for people, but it wasn't working. And then after a year of trying this, And he cared about this person deeply. He said, you know what? I'm going to flip it. I'm going to ask her for help for me. As opposed to me trying to coach her and give her this wisdom and speak motivation and inspiration and challenges. He was like, you know what? You could be really helpful in this one area of my life in my business that I'm struggling with. Can you come up with a plan for me here? Can you coach me in this? Can you give me this? Because I just know that you've got the answers and I need that support. And he said after he switched it from having her be helpful, like you just said, she felt more empowered every day because she was helping a friend. She was helping a friend overcome a challenge, find solutions. And I'm not sure exactly what it was for his life, but that transformed her by being helpful, not helpless, by saying, Yes, I'm going to step up and do this service for you. And I remember many, many years, decades of my life feeling helpless. And it wasn't until I switched it when I was dead broke on my sister's couch, I finally switched it out of necessity because I had nothing. And I said, I'm going to go out there and start asking how I can connect people. I don't have any skills. I don't have any wisdom. I don't have any experience. I'm a 22 year old punk who just got injured playing football. I didn't have a degree. I never made money in my life except for truck driving for 250 bucks a week and playing arena football for 250 bucks a week. $50 a week. And I said to myself, okay, I'm going to create LinkedIn networking events in person and I'm going to meet every person that walks through the door. I'm 23 years old at the time. So 2008 and I'm going to ask them what is their biggest talent and what is their biggest challenge. And as each person walks through the door, these many networking events, someone would say, so and so, I need a, you know, I've got this IT company, but I need sales reps. And then 30 people later, be like, I'm a sales professional, but I'm looking for a new career in IT. Boom, I'd walk them over and connect them and say, you guys need to talk, hopefully you can make something happen. If not, hopefully it was a good connection. I would do that for hundreds of people at night. Just say, okay, you're a video guy, you're a marketing guy, you're a design person. How can I connect you? And if you don't think you have a skill or you don't think you have experience or you're the right age, You can always be a champion of connecting people and become the champion of that network for them. And they'll always remember you as the person that helps solve the problem. You may not be the expert or think you have the wisdom, but you can be the curator, which is what I've done for the last decade. And that's just as powerful. So it's something to think about.

Well, Lewis, I want to acknowledge that, by the way. Lewis still does that incredibly well. Not a month goes by, I would say, Louis, that you don't connect me with somebody. That's probably fair, wouldn't you say? I mean, very regularly, Louis is taking. And I want to stay on this topic, everybody. Louis had a great idea earlier. We're both going to give away a couple of our books each. If you hit the airplane little logo down there at the bottom, right here, and you share what we're doing right now, screenshot us both and tag us both. We're both going to reshare a couple of those and also send you a copy. I'll send you a couple of copies of Louis's books. And Louis will send you a couple of copies of mine as well. So share this.

Little button right here.

Yeah, that button right there. One of the things that you do, and I want to remind everybody of something. Louis's show is called the School of Greatness, and it's easy to forget and maybe no one's told you in a while, but you were born to do something great with your life. And that's easy to forget when you're going, I'm in scarcity mode. I need to survive. I mean, that sounds great, Ed, but like, You don't understand. I'm unemployed. I've got rent that I'm going to have to start paying again. I understand that. And I'm saying one of the pathways out is you remind yourself, I was born to do something great in big ways and small ways. And some of the smallest great things you will ever do in your life are the most important. Not the big ones. Not the, I had Kobe Bryant on my show. Or I just spoke to 5,000 people. Or I made 100 grand on a sale. I'm talking about the small things. that maybe only you and that other person know about. You and I both just had, sometimes our guests overlap, and I love how we approach the interviews differently too. We both just had Nick Vujicic on our shows in the last four, five, six weeks. And he's spoken in, I don't know, 75 countries, millions of people. He was born with no arms and no legs. He's a friend of both of ours. And it started because a janitor at his school nudged him, a janitor at his school and said, Hey, I think you'd be a great speaker, a great motivator to people. Now, that man that helped him, that was a small act of greatness. He maxed out that day with that person. And he made a difference in the history of mankind. This man spoke to millions of people, saved people from suicide, inspired them for me. And my original business was a financial business. Well, the man who got me involved in that business was never financially very successful, but I was in college. He said, I think you'd be great. I wasn't interested in Lewis. He'd write me a letter every month. I still believe in you. I think you'd be amazing. And I get these handwritten letters every month, little acts of greatness. Because of that, I've been able to reach millions and millions of people. You would say, well, Ed Mylett's done some pretty great things. Really? Well, what about Steve Adams, who wrote me all those letters, who got me into entrepreneurship? What if you were that person to curate, in Lewis' words, to collaborate? Who could you connect? How resourceful could you be right now in connecting other people? Man, you start doing that, this helpless feeling goes away, this self-confidence begins to emerge, and you ironically start to create some momentum from this place of stagnation right now. So love, love, love it.

I love that topic because 19 years ago there was a teacher that believed in me. I was flunking English my senior year in high school, and she said, Louis, it was midway through the the term, or I can't remember what you call it in high school, the semester, the term, whatever it is called. And she goes, Louis, you're flunking. And just to remind you, if you don't pass this class, you can't go to college. You have to pass senior year English in order to get the minimum grade to get accepted into the college you want to go to to play football. You won't be able to play football, which was my dream. I said, you got to help me. This is like the hardest thing for me in my whole life. I've had tutors, you know, special needs classes. Can you help me? And she was like, I will be here every day after class, but you've got to show up and I'll make sure you pass it if you show up every single day. And I mean, it was probably, it must have been one of the hardest things for her to work with someone with the second grade reading level and senior year in high school, but she showed up and she said, I will do this act. And every day she showed up and I showed up. And it took both of us taking the commitment, but I passed. and it allowed me to get into college and I wouldn't have been a New York Times bestseller without that act of kindness and greatness that she saw in me, just like you said with Nick's janitor. And I think now is the time to think about that in every area of your life. You're not going to lose 20 pounds in a week, but what's the act you can do today that will be great that will pay off three months, six months, 12 months from now in those little consistent acts. You talk about those small wins all the time.

Yes.

For me, At the beginning of this hour, we were talking about my teeth. I've got four missing teeth and big gaps. I've got Invisalign that I've been using. I remember starting it almost a year ago and being like, Man, I'm a 36-year-old man. I'm putting braces on. This is embarrassing. I've got to have this plastic in my mouth. I'm like, A grown-up now, what am I doing? But I was like, you, know what? My future self is going to thank me. the health of my teeth are going to thank me and my confidence is going to thank me and it's going to impact me. And my girlfriend, I'm like, my girlfriend's like, how do you feel? Are they moving fast? I'm like, yeah, they're moving really slow.

You know, it's not moving as fast as I want.

Sorry, I got a phone call. Am I still there?

You're there. You're there.

Okay, sorry. She reminded me this week, she said, this is going to take time. Appreciate the little wins, a little movement every day. And I was like, man, you're starting to sound like me. I want things fast.

You're starting to sound like me when I talk to other people.

You gotta appreciate the small wins every day. And I love what you said. Can I say one thing about that, bro?

I want to say one thing about that because that's powerful. Listen, guys, it's appreciation and intentional appreciation. So one of the things, I'm a crazy list maker. I make lists. Most people I know are kind of people who make lists. That person's blowing your phone up right now. I know. I just put it on airplane mode. Yeah, mine's doing that too. And so I make lists of stuff I got to do every day. Why do I do that? Well, it reminds me I want to do, but what I do is self-confidence is the process of keeping the promises you make to yourself. You've probably all heard me say that, Louis say that before. But how do you do that? Well, for me, it's the visual delivery of it for me. So if it says like Instagram Live with Louis at 10:00 a.m., make sure I text Bedros Kuliyan back today, whatever it is, right? I've got to prepare a training I'm going to be doing in a week. I'm doing a Las Vegas TV show today. I've got to prep for that. And so when I do something and I check the box, I don't just do it. I intentionally go, nailed it, nailed it, got it, got it. And I start banking these deposits in myself, so to speak, of another promise kept, another promise kept, another promise kept. That's something you could be doing right now. I had a little one last night, bro. I'm going to share something with you. Patrick Schwarzenegger and I are pretty good friends. I know you know Patrick, too.

And I'm watching Patrick's Instagram. Wait, didn't I connect you guys?

I think you did connect us, dang it. You're right, that's actually right.

I connected you to Maria Shriver, that's right.

That's perfect example of collecting. Oh my gosh, I'm so glad you just said that. Yes, you did, as a matter of fact. And Patrick says good looking model, actor, personal improvement guy, but he's so good looking, he's like a Lewis Howes look alike. But on his Instagram, He's eating ice cream and eating cake every single day. Well, he can get away with it whatever his metabolism is, right? And, I've been training hard, but you may think this is silly, everyone, but I have had a little bit the last two weeks of an ice cream problem.

Dude, I had a whole thing of.

A pint of ice cream last night. I'm with you, man. It's my, dude, I have been plowing ice cream in my pie hole, like so bad. And, I'm like, so no matter what I'm doing to work out, I'm like, what is, I never sit around and eat ice cream. I mean, maybe once a month or something. Every damn night, I'm on ice cream. And so last night, this may seem like a simple promise. I'm not, here's how small life can get when you're in this. I woke up yesterday, it was Easter. I had Easter with my family. I had to drive back out here to the beach to work today. And I'm like, no ice cream tonight. No ice cream tonight. And it was on my list of things to do that day was don't eat ice cream. And I got here last night and I did my work all day and I do what you do. I turn on Netflix and I'm like, all right, I'm gonna catch up on Ozark's for about an hour. Oh my gosh, no, I finished that in the first two days. Right, which is gonna turn into eight hours, of course, right? All of a sudden it's 1:00 AM. But about midnight, I'm like, that ice cream sounds damn good right now. Just a couple bites. Just a couple bites. And then I'm like, well, it's 12:05.

So technically it's the next day.

You know, you start playing these games. It's not actually the next day. You've kept your promise. You've kept your promise. All right, I kept the promise. But the point is, I actually started to walk to the freezer in the refrigerator. You may think this is stupid, everybody. And I went, no. And I turned back around, I got a bottle of water and I sat and watched another show and then I went to bed. But you may go, that's nothing. To me, that was another deposit in my self-confidence inventory. I'm keeping promises I make to myself, right? So these things may seem small, but at 49 years old this month, the reason I went from having no self-esteem, no self-confidence whatsoever, to where I am now, which is pretty confident, is that I started this process that I know works, which is promise kept, promise kept, promise kept. I've made thousands of these deposits to where when one thing hits me that rocks my self-confidence, it doesn't take away from the thousands of promises I've kept to myself. Just think about that. What are the small things you could be doing?

If you guys aren't taking notes, again, every time Ed speaks, I take notes. Make sure you guys write this down because that's how you remember a lot better. When you were saying that, for me as an athlete, you were a big baseball star. For me, the way I learned about being successful through achieving a goal and building more confidence through sports was the structure of your schedule. And as you were saying this, I was just like, you know, you become successful through the structure of your schedule. Because when you have it mapped out and you check off your promises to yourself, you see, you can look backwards every week, every month, look at all that I created. and you feel that much more prepared when you step on stage, when you go into the interview, when you go into your first date, whatever it may be, you feel prepared because you took the steps and the promises every day to yourself. And that's how you become more successful and more confident is through the structure of your schedule.

Brother, show me, I'm glad you said that. I want to acknowledge that. I think show me your schedule now, I'll show you your life six months to a year from now, right?

Oh, that is a great one. Someone needs to put a, Instagram quote up there of that.

If my team's watching this, let's make that a meme. That was pretty good. That's great. But one of the things I kind of have been hearing lately, and I understand the point of it, but I got to say we're too far into this now for me to agree with it is sort of, hey, don't feel pressure to be organized right now. Don't feel pressure. Just heal right now. And I'm going to say to everybody, and I understand where that's coming from. and I understand the place it's coming from. I think for some people there's some validity for that. I must say, everyone, we're three, four weeks into this. It's time now if you have it to begin to create these structures around you again. It's time to be growing. It's time to be engaging again. For me, it's about creating more structure. When the world isn't giving it to me, I need to create more. I'm crazy. I'm getting up a half hour earlier than I normally do. Why? Because I know everybody else is getting up an hour or two later. And it's just another thing. I wake up, I go, I'm doing things not everybody's willing to do. In fact, I'm doing things Ed Mylett.

Wasn'T willing to do just a month ago. And it's because you're doing things and because you're doing things others aren't willing to do, you deserve all the benefits that others aren't going to get. Exactly.

Because you show up differently. That's why you deserve what you have.

Right. And don't you feel that way for yourself too? Absolutely. I've been, I remember when all this shifted and we sent people home from the office and everything, I was just like, should we kind of take it easy and take a break and, you know, just kind of live off what we have right now and just smooth things out? And I was like, we need to go harder, I want to say harder, we need to go more focused on creating value than ever. We need to triple down on interviews, on content on analyzing the data and figuring out what is it really people need and how can we create that and serve that for them? We've been doing a webinar every single Friday. We've been doing new trainings in our membership. We've been creating stuff for YouTube for our pocket. Like every possible area of our business, we're saying how can we optimize, how can we analyze, how can we restructure to serve more people during this time? You know you said something earlier, by.

The way everybody, we're gonna go a little bit longer but Louis had a great idea earlier. If you hit the airplane icon down there at the bottom, right here, we're gonna, if you share this and tag Louis and I, we're both gonna send you copies of each other's books and we'll repost a couple of those tags just so more people get access to.

This and maybe go watch it on the live. If you don't see the airplane button down here, you can just screenshot this.

And post it in your story and tag both of us, but we'll do a couple shares afterwards. Go back to the collaboration thing, the connecting people thing, and also of finding mentors because I think you're the best at this that I know. And I think some people may watch this and say, well, what do I have to offer? Or how can I bring value to people? I think even when I was younger, I think, well, how can I possibly bring value to so-and-so? They're so much more successful than me. And why would they even receive my message? So speak to that. Because you're unbelievable at this.

When I started out, assistant< end_header_id >assistant< end_header_id >, and 2008-2009 in just kind of figuring out who am I going to be in the world as a 23-24 year old guy trying to figure out my next move in life after I was done playing football. I went on LinkedIn because a mentor said, why don't you check out LinkedIn and see if you can find a job? And all I did was reach out to successful people or people at high levels in their careers or CEOs and message them. And none of them got back to me at first. And then they all got back to me because I stopped saying, Hey, can you give me 10 minutes and give me some advice and mentor me? I stopped asking that. And I started saying, what are the questions that if I was really successful and had no time that would pique my interest and that would make me want to give my time to some young kid trying to figure out life? And I started asking different questions. And I think the quality of your relationships depend on the quality of the questions and all those different things. I think probably Tony Robbins said that. Yep. And the questions I started asking was, I would say, what are the things we have in common and how can I speak to those commonalities? Who might we know in common? I just find as many commonalities as first and I would speak into the commonalities that we had and also the greatest moment in their career that I could research and fund. So I would see on their LinkedIn profile, so it's just always researching so much first before I reach out to someone and I would see, oh, they made a big jump from this company to that company in May of 2004. And I'd say, huh, can you tell me more about exactly what you were thinking about when you did this big jump from this company to this company and how you did that? It's fascinating to me how you did this. So I speak more to, can you tell me how you became successful as opposed to, can you teach me how I can become successful? And when you ask others about their success, you know, Ed, you'll get on the phone with just about anyone to talk about how successful you overcame something or how you overcame this challenge. You get back to that place of yeah, it was this moment where everything shifted. Like we're more, even just me talking right now about like the past successes and overcoming, we get excited to talk about those things. We don't want to spend 10 minutes to give people advice on how they can overcome something, but we'll tell people how we did it. And that is a, that's a gift to be able to ask someone about how they overcame something.

Woo, bro. Huge, huge, huge point because You know it's funny that when you say that, I sometimes wonder because we both get thousands of DMs and we don't even see them all. But I sometimes wonder why did I say yes to do that podcast or why did I respond to that DM? And you're exactly right and I'll give you all one more huge gift that Lewis and I both know is true and let me give you what that might be. Tony Robbins talks about this and I've been talking about it for 20 years as well. Tony applies these things differently than I do but I'm going to give you a little gift here. And maybe you've heard Tony discuss this, but he uses it in a slightly different way. There are six human needs. They're not wants, they're needs. There's not eight of them. There's six. And these needs, by the way, at any given time, one or two of them are dominant. And the needs are the need for certainty in your life, ironically the need for uncertainty, the need for love and connection, the need for significance and recognition, And then growth and contribution. So certainty, uncertainty, love and connection, significance, growth, contribution. Those are the six needs. And one of the things we do when we message people, when they don't respond, is we message them with our needs. Like what Louis is saying. I need this. Can you help me? I need a job.

I need money. I need a house.

I need help with this one question. The second thing is to get me to respond to something when I was, say, 25 years old. I had a giant need. Think through what's the need of those six that's dominant for this person I'm messaging. Stay with me everyone on this. When I was 26 years old or 25 years old, one of my dominant needs was significance and recognition, just like yours was. I wanted to be somebody. If you said, Hey, I can get you on my podcast. There's a million people listening. They'd be like, Whoa, significance. That would be my need. My need, actually, if you were to evaluate me now, is really contribution.

Yeah.

Growth. So one of the things you could say is you'd help other people. You'd make a difference. Think about what my need might be.

You'd impact a million lives if you could do a 20-minute thing with me. Right.

You did it when you asked me to come speak at School of Greatness. It was you did it sincerely, but it wasn't like, Hey, Ed, there'll be a big crowd. It was like, Ed, I really think my family would respond so well to you right now. And I went, I'm in. I don't care what it requires. I'm in because I want to serve. I want to make a difference. My button is service right now. That may change. Maybe in a year, it's certainty. But for right now, it's contribution for me. Contribution and growth are my dominant ones. And I think in your case, I think you're there at that point in your life as well. So be thinking about those things. Don't you think when you're asking?

I'm curious. What is the, I mean, as you, not to bring this up, as I'm sure you're thinking about it every moment, but as you come to 50 in a year, and, you know, call it, call it close to the halfway mark, but you're gonna live till 150. So maybe you're, sure, you're a third way, Mark. Thank you. You know, but as you've had a, a long life already. You've done so much at 50, 40, 48 and a month in a couple weeks. What's the big, you know, I'm gonna be 40 in a few years. I feel like it's coming quicker than ever. Yeah, and I'm not afraid yet of 40, but I'm like, dang, what just happened in the last 20 years? I was just in college, you know, what is, what's going on? Have I even done anything? Like, am I like, yes, I have, but it's like, I'm sure you might be there too, like, what if I can actually contributed? What if I've got these homes, I got this money, and I've impacted, but have I really impacted the way I want to? Yeah. I'm curious, what's your thoughts as you get closer to 50 on your fears or your uncertainties And what advice would you give someone who's about to hit 30, about to hit 40, that you've gone through in those statuses?

Well, that's a great, by the way, that's why you're so awesome. What a great question. I'll get to you first honestly where I am and then maybe the advice piece really quickly. I'm going to be really honest with you. I've had to guard my self-esteem lately. I'm going to tell you all why. I have to guard it because as I have been, it makes me emotional even right now. As I get closer to that number, and I don't know if it's the number or just where I'm at in the season of my life, I have a tendency like you do, Louis, like most people listen to this, I'm hard on myself. I'm hard on myself. And lately, and it's just lately, maybe the last two, three, four months, I have been evaluating what I've contributed, who I am, the man I am, the father, the husband, the friend, the leader of some and I'm not measuring up if I'm being honest with you to what I think I'm capable of. I'm not right now feeling like I've made the difference I could make, nor am I the man I'm capable of being. And I mean in every area, like what I think about, what's important to me. And I have to be careful when I do that, that I don't beat myself up about it because I have been doing that lately. When you get closer to that time in your life, you really do reflect on, who you've helped, how you've lived. I'm not thrilled with it, to be honest with you. There's a whole lot better me that could be here right now. And I'm not talking about in a year or two. I mean, right now. So, the real honest, I can't believe I'm saying this. The real honest answer is, I'm really searching within myself the last several months for who do I want to be at this time? I've lived this, you know, like there's these characters you play in your life. We always tell you, write your own chapters. I've been this version of me a little too long for my own liking.

What's the version you want to be?

I want to be happier, more blissful, but I want to be more joyous. I want to spread more joy to the people around. Not just information, not just value or change, but joy. Spread bliss, spread joy. And I can do a much better job of that. I sometimes I'm not conscious of spreading that love and joy like I could. So great question, Lou. That's what I'm really focused on right now.

I'm just curious, what would it look like to spread joy and bliss and happiness? What would that look like as opposed to motivation and inspiration?

Be more the real me, like the one you know privately when we're laughing and joking around and not always on. Not always thinking I have to have the perfect answer, not always concerned about my example all the time, giving myself a break, just sort of being. That's what my answer would be to the 30 and 40 year olds. I've made a mistake in my life, and that is it's contrary to what I teach. I've not been great in my life at being present. I've not been great at it. I think a lot of achievers struggle with this, and I go in and out of this mode where I was in the pool yesterday with my kids and I'm looking at them and, man, Max is going to college this year. My daughter is like a young woman now. And I wish when they were a little younger that those moments when we were in the pool when they were younger, I was just with them. I'm not thinking about work and thinking about protecting them and thinking about saving for college and being in the moment and enjoying now, right? Like really enjoying now. And the moments I'm the most effective, the most blissful, the most joyful, spreading it is when I'm the most present. And I've always struggled with that because I'm always dreaming about the future and wanting to achieve in the future. The best me is the one when you're just, me and you are in the backyard, you know, hanging out. And it's just me and you, Louis. And so for me, I go back to the 30-year-old and I say, I want you to achieve. I want you to win. Please enjoy this moment. Please be present right now. The 40-year-old Louis, with this beautiful relationship you're in now and all the achievement, don't miss now for what the possibilities are in the future. Enjoy now. If this moment right now with the Corona crisis teaches us anything, it's like all we really have is right now. The more you project into the future, I said on my post today on Instagram or on all social media, worrying doesn't solve today's problems. mm-. It takes away today's piece. And, and, and, and I, so I, that's, most of my posts are lessons for me. So that would be my lesson at 30, 40 and 50 is be more present. Be, you can't love yourself if you're not being yourself. Just be you, just be present. So that would be my advice. But, but you're the guy. I'm curious, what would yours be? If you go, there's 30 year olds, for example, watching this, you've had a heck of a 30s. Yeah, yeah. Your 30s have been damn good, dude. So, so what would, what would your advice be? By the way, this is like unbelievably good live right now.

This is amazing. Again, if you guys are just joining, make sure to click on this little airplane button right here. Share this out. Tag both Ed and myself, and we'll reshare a few of these afterwards sometime today and send you guys some books. I see a lot of our friends in here.

Jenna cutcher in the house.

A lot of other people in here. We love you, sister. And, and if Any of you, go ahead and leave a heart or a yes. If you want to see Ed become more joyful, blissful, happy, and allow him to express himself public facing online more, if you guys want him to see this, just type yes or leave a heart in the comments right now. If you want him to express his childlike self more, which I'm sure a lot of you guys do. One of the things that you said in the interview or a podcast or somewhere, I heard you say it is that you've been practicing this more and more in the last couple of years because you'll actually go through your phone when you get home in the car, in the garage for 30, 60, 90 minutes, however long it takes, and then you put the phone down when you walk in and be present. So I think you've got to acknowledge yourself. You've been actively practicing it and I think that's a beautiful thing. I've seen all the hearts and yeses come through abundantly. So people want to see you do that more. I think I think, and I think you'll be, I'm curious before I answer the question on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the most blissful, the most happy, joyful, you know, where are you at on that scale?

Hmm.

You might be satisfied at a 10, or, you know, you might be achieving at a 10 or this at a 10, but in terms of joy, happy, and bliss.

Six or seven, I would say.

Wow.

I would say six or seven. And moments spiking at 10, very rarely lower than 5 though. In other words, let me give you one thing I would say that you should all give yourself credit for too. My lows of bliss and happiness and joy are much higher than they've ever been in my life. But I know the highs could be higher and more consistent. And it's just finding joy in small things. and when you're a big achiever, you have to be very careful that you only link your bliss and happiness to big things. And the truth is, it's the most simple. It's like right now being with you, like right when I saw your face, like it just, it brings me joy. Simple things are actually ironic or what bring me the most happiness and the most joy. That's easy to say when you have a lot of things, but it's when you're for everybody.

I was curious, this is a question for you. And then I'll get to your question in a second. Can you be an 8 to a 10 range of happy and bliss and also 8 to a 10 range of achievement/credibility/leadership at the same time?

Yes.

If so, who do you know that is both?

Yes, you can. I know, sorry my ear was itchy there. The answer is 100% yes, and I'll give you an example of a few people that I know that I think are that way. But 100% yes. I've been there, I've done that. In fact, I think you're a better leader when you're that way. And I talk a lot about this in one of my audios called Blissful Dissatisfaction, which I made for myself. But I'll give you an example of many people. One, I think you're that way. I think you're one of those people. I think that people would know. I think Jenna Kutcher's that way. She's great. I think Rachel Hollis has that. I think so many people, Dean Graziosi has that. Dean's a happy, blissful person and he's a big time achiever. Rob Dyrdek, our mutual friend, is maybe one of the most samples you'll ever see. He's happy, he's blissful, he's achieving, he's got great family. Jesse Itzler, great example of a blissful, happy, achieving human being. There's so many of them, brother. There's a lot of, Dirk Zirkle, A dear friend of mine who has been on my show, Dirkx is a happy person yet he's achieving at a high level. They don't all have to be famous people, by the way, either. I know a whole lot of people. I have a great friend who might even be watching this, his name is Scotty DiMejan. Scotty is one of my dearest friends. He owns a bunch of transmission shops. He achieves at a high level. He's a quietly, he's one of those millionaire next door guys. He's become a millionaire. But he's got unbelievable faith, beautiful family, sees his children and grandchildren every single day. I think he achieves at a very high level and he's just present and blissful and it's why I love having him close to me in my life because he's one of those guys that sets that example for me. So absolutely, yes.

I think the goal is to have both, is to be happy and blissful and be the level of achievement of the dreams that you have for your life to be able to get there. To answer your question about I guess advice for people getting into their 30, turning 30 or into that range. Or even if you're a teenager watching and you're graduating high school, you're going to college or your, you know, your college just got shut down for the rest of the year, you didn't get to graduate the way you wanted to and you're upset or you didn't get to play sports the way you wanted to, your senior, things like that. I would say learning to forgive myself and heal faster through forgiveness would have been something I wish I would have done earlier because the pain and the monster and the demons that were deep inside of me that would come out every now and then did more damage than they did good of driving me to achieve. They created more anger and resentment and competitive nature as opposed to compassion, collaboration and love and peace. They helped me achieve all the things I wanted and left me feeling lonely, upset and angrier than ever when I would achieve them. And so learning to forgive myself and forgive everyone around me or kids from the past or whatever, moments that I just remembered and hung on to from childhood stuff. And really taking inventory of, you know, writing a list of all the moments that upset me in my life, from all the people, whether people intentionally did something or not. doesn't matter, but just writing a list of all the people's names and moments that still affected me in a negative way and had power over me because they moved me to anger as opposed to peace. When I started to heal, and I think it's a constant process for the rest of my life, but when I started that process, it's when I turned about 30 and everything started to shift in a positive way. I wish I would have done that sooner. So anyone in their teens going to the 20s or 20s and the 30s, forgiving people, healing, forgiving yourself. Because a lot of us beat ourselves up for lifetimes about what we didn't do, about what we missed out on, what we could have done, what we did wrong and we shouldn't have done. Like, okay, you mentioned this before, like the act of, what did you say? Like, you miss out on your promise is one bad act, but then beating yourself up, that's the worst thing you can do. Like, you make a mistake, beating yourself up is not going to solve the problem. So, learning to be okay with it and not beat yourself up and just recreate the commitment. Okay, great. So, I think I had a lot of beat up. I mean, emotional, mental, psychological beat up. I was like beating myself to death psychologically for decades of my life.

And one thing, brother, because I know you've written so eloquently about this for everybody, that started with you acknowledging and realizing a pattern. So we have these patterns of behavior, right? And so when you acknowledge a pattern you have that does not serve you, it loses a lot of its power over you just by you seeing it, being aware of it. Like for example, in business for me, usually when I'm doing well, there's this really intense version of me. I don't always like that guy, but man, does he produce a lot of results. He gets paid.

He gets paid.

And I'm back sort of in the hunt in a lot of my business in such a way and that guy's sort of re-emerging. And I've asked my, and there's this part of all of us that think, that's why I'm successful. So if I took this intensity away or I took this self-doubt away or I took this anxiety away, I'll lose my mechanism to achieve. We all think this, it's complete BS.

Or, not to interrupt you, but, or if I take this away, I'll lose the opportunity for girls to want me or have sex with women or to lose the weight or to do this if I take this away.

Right. We think that's part of our secret recipe when in fact, brother, and you've realized this too, you're in a more blissful relationship now that you were succeeding in spite of those patterns, not because of them. What they are is they become part of your identity. So you think that's why they produce these results, but you're winning instead of them, in spite of them. And so for me, Just when they rear their head, I'm like, I'm doing that stupid pattern again. Here I go again, and it loses some of its power over me. And so you're a million percent right. And that's why I feel such optimism about my life is because I know—I kind of know me. So I know when I'm doing that guy. Here he goes, the worrying me. Here he goes, the overreacting me. You're doing it again. And it's almost like a clown show when I do it. Instead of me going, well, that's why I win. I mean, hey, you may not like.

That guy, but man, he became a millionaire. Look at my view. Look at my house.

Look at this. Yeah. And then you use these external things to validate your own negative patterns. And so, I totally, I completely agree with you. We probably got a few more minutes here, guys. Again, if you are watching this, we are going to give away a couple of our books each. If you just hit the airplane button down there or screenshot this, tag both of us, share it. We're going to reshare some of them.

And move on.

Let me ask you a couple things really quick, because we're coming up on the hour. They're going to kick us off here. Yeah.

But it flew by.

I know. I thought it was like 20 minutes. I know. It flew by. I'm curious, tell us, are you still shooting your show? And are there episodes coming out this week, new ones?

Yeah, the podcast for me, I'm still doing, just like you, I'm doing them over Zoom. And I recorded a lot before all this happened, so I've got a couple months out. Yeah, we come out a few times a week, School of Greatness on the podcast and YouTube.

Cool. And I do, too. I've got, I have A-Rod coming out tomorrow. That should be a really good show. I've been trying to get A-Rod for a while. You got him first. That's great. Okay, well, I'll connect, I owe you a connection then. I owe you a collaboration. I'm serious. I'll do that. Was it amazing? Was it good? It's outstanding, bro. Yeah, it's a side of him I don't think many people will see.

And you can hear Jen talking to him off camera.

It's really, It's really, really good. That's cool.

When's anything out?

Tomorrow.

Comes out tomorrow. Oh, they gotta, where can they go.

Subscribe to your show? Go to YouTube channel or iTunes or, you know, anywhere audio and same with Lewis's podcast as well, you guys. School of Greatness is awesome and I think you'll enjoy Max out with Ed Mylett as well.

Absolutely, absolutely. This was so good, brother. I'm curious before, I think you have two minutes of that. Yeah. What's one thing and I'll say one thing for me too, but what's one thing that you want to do for every day moving forward or for the next week to try something out, to try something new on that will increase your joy and bliss and happiness from a six to a seven to a eight or nine? If you practice one thing a day, what would that be for you?

I just started doing it and I'm going to tell you what it is. Every morning, you know, I have this routine where I ask myself, what am I grateful for and who loves me, who do I love? I am messaging the people who come up in my meditation.

Wow.

So when they, who do I love and who loves me comes up on my meditation, right when I'm done with my meditation, I send them a message and let them know, you came up this morning when I was quiet, when I was taking quiet time, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate that you love me, and I want you to know how much I love you, and I'm just telling some of it. And it's a little weird with a couple of my buddies, you know? I'm telling people regularly, I love you. I do that with you all the time. You do it with me too, but there's some people you're like, I don't know. I just tell them I love you. And so for me, that's just extending love and using that exact word with people. What's yours?

Yeah, for me, it's, I feel like I've been doing this a lot in the last few months as I've moved into a new relationship. I've learned how to restructure the way I do things since it's not my place alone where I do whatever I want. It's shared space and things like that. For me, it's been mastering the art of patience and letting go. And I think I become not blissful when I hold on to stuff and when I'm combative as opposed to patient. So just being patient and letting it go. And I think I hear this from friends who are in relationships for years. It's like, you know, we get angry and upset because we hold on to the past conversation. Like, you know, you probably have a lot more experience than me being married for so long, but letting go quickly, I just feel happy again.

Very good. Could you have told me that 30 years ago?

No, man. I'd be like, I need to be right. I need to win it.

Me too. I've learned the same lesson. Anyway, guys, we're probably 30 seconds from being sexy. He said marriage is seconds from being cut off here. So I love you, brother. I hope everybody enjoyed today. Share this with everybody and put the button right here. God bless y'all. I'll talk to you soon, bro. Appreciate it.

I love you too. Bye. Thank you so much for watching this video. And if you're looking for more greatness in your life, then check out this next video right here. It's exciting when you win. It's exciting when you lose because the process should be exactly the same. Whether you win or you lose, as you go back and you look and you find things that you could have done better, you find things that you've done well that worked, figure out how did they work, why did they work, how can you make them work again?