People who grew up enmeshed, taking care of a parent instead of being cared for, often seek partners they can save. When they can't fix their partner, resentment builds and they feel trapped, making infidelity more likely. It's a relational red flag to watch for.
Do you have any signs that you can see if someone potentially would be a cheater that you're getting into a relationship with? Totally. I mean, yes, totally. So how can you identify a cheater ahead of time? So the big takeaway, and I'll never— the big takeaway was understanding the idea of enmeshment, which I didn't understand. Enmeshment is— if abandonment's when a parent doesn't take care of the child's needs, enmeshment is when the child takes care of the parent's needs. People who are enmeshed, when they get into relationships, they like tend to date people they can help or save. Really? Like projects. And then what happens is they date someone they want to help and save because that's how they get their worth and value, right? Because that's how they got it from mom or dad. Right, exactly. That's my job. Like, if I don't have a job, then I'm not lovable, right? And then what happens is after a while, they can't really help, save, change that person, and they start to resent like they did with their parent, and then push them apart and cheat or act out like they feel trapped. Wow.
Secret Service Agent: Your Neutral Face Is Making People Distrust You (Here's How to Fix It)
