The 6 Habits That The RICH DO To Manifest Success | Lewis Howes

Instead of learning by trial and error, which can take decades you may never learn, Jim Rohn taught me success leaves clues, man. Find someone's got what you want, study what they do, every aspect of it, and then add yourself to it.

And that's the pathway to speed of transformation. Was there ever a moment where you didn't unconditionally love yourself? And if so, and if so, when did that shift where you stopped that and you started saying, okay, I appreciate myself because of my contribution and my service and who I am?

What was that shift?

I don't think it was ever I.

Just didn't love myself. There were times obviously be angry with yourself or frustrated with yourself or thinking, you know, I'm not doing enough. I mean, I can remember my birthdays to be honest with you, probably up to my 40th birthday, including my 40th birthday, you know, you have a birthday with a zero on it once you're over past 30, you know, 35, sometimes five years on it as well. People look at their life differently culturally. And I used to think it was bull, but sure enough I would do it. I remember turning 40 and I was really, really unhappy. I was like, geez, I've not done enough, I've not helped enough people. I've helped tens of millions of people at that point already done all over the earth in 100 plus countries at that point, but it was still kind of stuck in my head. So I would earn the love by over delivering, change somebody's life. Like, I don't get it because somebody says, oh, I love you, Tony. I mean, I appreciate that. Or, oh, you're the greatest. It's got to be my standard. My standard's higher than their standard for me, right? So when I get up and someone's going to kill themself and it's, they're suicidal and boom, turn around, they're no longer not going to kill themself, but they're transformed, their life is there. You know, that's when I go, okay, you know, now we've hit the center of what I'm made for. Now, you know, I deserve to feel this euphoric feeling within myself and appreciation. And even then I still know it's God coming through me. I don't have the delusion, it's just me. But I think sometime after 40, I finally saw the stupidity of it. I accumulated enough that I looked at life with fresh eyes. And I could say by the time I turned 60 a year ago, I noticed it was interesting because my birthday, I didn't have an ounce of it. I was just like, How could I at this stage of my life when I've had the privilege of serving so many humans in so many contexts, from turning around, guys are going to kill themselves with PTSD, to helping kids turn around, to getting kids off cocaine or adults, to helping people build multi-billion dollar businesses from nothing. And when I lived this long, I can't go by without hearing half a dozen stories a day or a dozen stories a day from people telling me how Something I did changed their life. So it's not that I'm so smart now, it's just I've stacked it. By the way though, stacking is the way you can do things. Most of us stack the negative. If you are really angry, it's not usually because of just the moment, it's that it happened again. You know, it's like if you've ever lost it or overreacted to your kid or to a friend or a business or even within yourself, it's because it happened again. We hit this one, two, three, many point. and then our nervous system overreacts. But what I've learned is you can stack the good. For example, if you go into a state of really strong anger for more than five minutes, your immune system is suppressed between an hour and a half to two hours. That's a physiological fact. But no one had done any study. I started stacking good, like, okay, let me stack a dozen great memories, feel them, see them, experience them. And I felt this biochemical change that didn't just last a half hour, an hour, or 10 minutes. It went on for a day or two. And so I think I've learned to stack the good. So just having the experience is not enough. You got to stack the good to be able to appreciate it. But I think the more you find unconditional love for others, the easier it is to find in yourself. And I think the focus is serving and loving, and that's what will get you to the point where you start doing it. But if you want to speed it up, stack all the good you've done, you'll feel great about yourself.

I already know all the comments that are coming through, thousands of comments telling me, but what about my family that's toxic? What about my partner who's toxic? And how do I love someone unconditionally when they don't respect me? I can't trust them. What about situations like that?

All those reactions are natural human reactions from ego. Because it's all about you, me, me, me, what I'm not getting, what I'm not doing, and that's why you're in pain. I've done it too in the past, but it's an old pattern I don't really do anymore. And it used to affect me. Now, not a dominant one. I wouldn't have become who I become. Early in my life, I developed this belief that life is calling not to give me something, life is calling for me to deliver things, for me to bring something to life. And I felt the joy that came from not getting but giving, and I got hooked on that core pattern and then the pattern of learning so I'd have something to give, which I know one of the things I respect about you, Louis, is that you have that same pattern in you. You're always trying to learn more because Underneath it all, you also want to give it. You want it for you, but you want to share it, right? And so those patterns help me not be in what they're not giving. And all this language, language, today people don't understand the power of their language, like toxic. You've been reading too much social media and thinking about yourself, or somebody raised you to constantly judge everybody else. We live in a culture now where people, you know, you're evil or you're like me. That's basically how it is, right? The whole world, everybody else is immoral unless they do what you do, think what you think, experience what you think. I mean, being a liberal, I was a liberal, right? Being a liberal growing up meant, I would fight for your ability to say and believe whatever you want different than me. Today, now everybody wants everybody to think the same thing, otherwise they're evil or otherwise they could hurt me. Whatever happens sticks and stones will break your bones, words will never hurt me. We have this whole thing that words are evil, words are action, and all it does is make you incredibly weak as a human being, and you're more than that. We all are more than that. But you know what? Like a kid that's never broken their bones, deathly afraid of breaking the bone. But if you're a kid and you're rough and tumble, you broke multiple bones and they heal, you don't have any fear of it. There's so many kids that have been raised to be safe and secure every moment. Anything that's insecure or unsafe they don't want to be a part of, including language. And what it does is make you incredibly weak and fearful. And that's why there's so many people that are abundant, that are angry all the time. because their anger is they're not growing. So don't get me wrong, I know some people are not a good influence. I'm not denying that. I'm just saying you're more than somebody's influence unless you obsess about it every moment and make them wrong so you can.