Lewis HowesYour Personal 24/7 Greatness Coach

The definition of a toxic relationship

19 Mar 2026 · 1 min

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In this short YouTube clip, the speaker defines a toxic relationship as one where love exists but respect and/or trust are missing. He likens the psychological behavior in such relationships to addiction, noting that people justify, delude, lie to themselves, and rationalize irrational decisions. He asserts that trust and respect are the top priorities in any relationship hierarchy; without trust, love cannot succeed, and without respect, a relationship is unhealthy. The speaker emphasizes that while love is a powerful, desirable experience, it must be approached with caution, ensuring that trust and respect are present.

Chapters

That is the definition of a toxic relationship. A relationship where love is present but respect and/or trust is not. In a lot of ways, we psychologically behave with love the way addicts behave with their substance, right? Which is we justify it, we delude ourselves, we lie to ourselves, we rationalize decisions that we make that are completely irrational. My hierarchy for relationships, it's trust and respect are tied for number one. I think most people have had an experience in their life where they've loved somebody very deeply, but they didn't trust them, and it doesn't work. It doesn't matter how much you try, how much effort you put in, how much you cry and argue and fight. It's like if the trust isn't there, it doesn't work. Yes. And if the respect isn't there, it's not healthy. And so we have to be very careful. Love can be an absolutely incredible thing. It's one of life's greatest experiences. I think everybody should absolutely experience it, but proceed with caution. Right, right, right, right.