Lewis HowesYour Personal 24/7 Greatness Coach

The Definition of Toxic Love! | Jay Shetty

31 Oct 2024 · 1 min

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In this monologue, Jay Shetty defines toxic love as a relationship where each partner uses their unresolved trauma as the primary emotional oxygen, essentially breathing their insecurities and baggage into the partnership and expecting the other to absorb and manage it. He contrasts this with a conscious relationship, where individuals acknowledge their ongoing healing processes, openly communicate their wounds to their partner, and collaboratively work toward growth. Shetty emphasizes three essential components for a healthy partnership: personal self‑work, transparent communication about one’s healing journey, and actively seeking external support. The overall message encourages moving from a pattern of toxic, trauma‑driven dynamics to a mindful, collaborative approach to love and personal development.

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Toxic love is when your trauma is the oxygen for your relationship. Your trauma is what you're breathing into the relationship. Yes, that is so true. Right? You're just breathing your trauma into the relationship. So you bring all your baggage, all your insecurities, and you're somehow expecting the other person to inhale it all and then figure out how to respond and react. Whereas a conscious relationship is saying that I have these things. I'm trying to heal them. I'm gonna make my partner aware of what I'm healing because I'm not fully healed. And now that they're aware and I'm working on it, we can also work on it together. It's a journey. But the thing about the journey is, are you working on yourself? Have you communicated to your partner what you're working on? And thirdly, have you found a way to get support?