Lewis Howes asks how to start feeling safe. The answer: stop intellectualizing anxiety and feel it in your body instead. People-pleasers and perfectionists typically skip this step, but body awareness is where safety actually begins.
So what would you say then is the first step to shifting the internal feeling of being unsafe?
I think it starts in the body. And for people pleasers, for perfectionists, it can get very intellectual.
Yes.
What should I be telling myself? What are the exact words that I should be saying to myself? And of course, self-talk is very powerful, but I think it's from the neck down. It's slowing down our bodies. It's even just elongating the exhale, sends immediate safety signals to our body. If we inhale for 4, exhale for 6, it's immediately telling the body, "You're good. We're safe here." Yeah. And again, that doesn't mean it feels good. It can feel kind of discouraging. Well, I took a deep breath. I still have, I still feel anxious, but good for you. You're noticing the anxiety that's there and you're allowing yourself to acknowledge it. That is such a huge step.
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