Lewis Howes explores how unhealed psychological wounds from childhood shape your romantic patterns. Your inner child and shadow self drive who you're attracted to and how you show up in relationships.
If we want to have a beautiful relationship, but we are wounded still. The inner child is wounded inside of us as adults. What will happen to us?
So this is really about inner child and shadow. Right. So we. I think people understand that you've got an inner child that maybe didn't get over things that you experienced in your childhood. Shadow is about the parts of yourself that you've rejected because as a young child, you rely on your primary caregivers for survival.
Yes.
And if there is something that they don't love about you, you want to hide that for all the world so that they will still love you and, like, not let you die.
You don't want anyone to know this about you.
No.
That's shame.
So you hide it away in childhood and often find yourself in adulthood no longer even aware of what those things are because you've rejected them so deeply.
Wow.
Yeah. And. But that's driving a lot of your unconscious behavior.
Right.
So if you put together the inner child and the shadow, then what happens is you meet people on the same level of psychological wound as you.
Oh, man.
You also leave people where, if you evolve out of that and they haven't been able to.
Wow. Which I think goes back to one of the things that one of the pieces of content I heard you talk about, which is like the sense of smell connected to someone's stress levels or anxiety levels. Like you'll kind of attract a similar nervous system or I guess a certain similar, like, I don't know, stress level.
Yeah. It's not. It's not smell. It's. It's sensing. Sensing. Not through smell. The level of the stress hormone. Yeah.
Interesting.
But that's short term. Right. But the inner child and shadow stuff is longer term.
Gosh, that's fascinating.
Yeah.
So you think we attract people based on our psychological wounds?
100%.
Wow. And as we start to heal and grow, if the other person's not healing and growing, we kind of pull away. Wow. That's interesting. Speaking, I guess, about relationships and men and women, with all of your expertise on the brain, is the process of manifesting love and falling in love different from men versus women?
I think if it's love you're really looking for, then it's not different.
Not lust.
Yeah. The issue is what you're actually looking for.
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