The IMPORTANCE of Love Languages!

I feel like we got really fortunate in a lot of ways because we share identical love languages, which I never learned. I never realized how important, like being in alignment of love languages or being okay if you don't match and you being okay with having to give someone else something that you're not typically known to do. And if you're okay with that. And so our love languages match who we are, our personality. And so when I show up, you know, wanting to spend quality time and touch and words of affirmation with you, that is my personality. And for me, it's great because then what happens is because it's also my love languages, I feel loved. You don't have to make an extra effort for me to feel appreciated. And I think this is, you know, I've heard people say, like, you want to understand your partner what their needs are and give them their needs and help them in meeting those needs with their love languages. And I agree that if you want to make a relationship work in a healthy way, you want to be of service to someone's ability to receive love. So you want to be able to give and contribute in that way the best way you can. But if that's not your natural come from, it just makes it a little more friction. In order to make that happen, you have to think about it more intently. You have to, like, go out of your way and do something that's uncomfortable for you. So I'm not saying it can't work effectively. I just feel grateful that I can show up as myself and not be like, oh, every week she needs a gift from me, or she needs me to do this thing, or she needs this thing, otherwise she won't feel loved. You feel loved based on love language alignment. And I think everyone should be aware of that. Not meaning it won't work out in a relationship. It's just that you probably have to make a little bit more of an effort to communicate in the other person's love language. One of my friends, I remember, he said, I just don't know what to do. She thinks I don't love her, but here I am. You know, I took her on this trip and I took her on this experience, and I took her on this thing, and I, you know, if she needs something in the middle of the night, I go and I'm there for her. So clearly his love language is actions, right? So then what happens? She says, I don't feel like he loves me because he never tells me how beautiful I look. You know, I'm wearing this dress he bought me. And I'm like, parading myself in front of him and he doesn't say anything. And he never tells me, I love you. He never tells me. Well, he is with his actions, but you're not receiving it because your love language is words of affirmation. So then once you know yourself, that's why knowing yourself is so important. It just causes more friction. It doesn't mean the relationship can't work. But I think what we've tried to do is make sure we're in alignment with as much things as possible.