The MOST IMPORTANT Skills That Determine SUCCESS | Javier Hernández & Lewis Howes

I was talking with Martha, my girlfriend, about you today. And I was like, what do you think people would really want to know about the man I'm about to interview? And she said, well, he is arguably one of the most famous people in our country and arguably one of the best soccer players that's ever come out of Mexico. And there must be a massive weight, a massive pressure, to handle that success because people celebrate you and they cheer for you but if something doesn't go, if you guys don't win on the national team or somewhere then all the weight, the pressure, the criticism comes back on you as well. So I wanted to welcome you to the show but also start by asking that question of how have you learned to strive for a dream of being the best you can be? one of the top players arguably in the history of Mexico, and handle the emotional weight of success and criticism at the same time.

Wow.

I wanted to give it to you right away.

No, no, thank you very much. First of all, thank you very much for having me here. I've been telling you this privately, but I've been following you since a couple of years, and I've been watching this amazing project that you have, and then dreaming about it, you know, learning about you guys and your guests and stuff. And then suddenly I'm here sharing with you parts of my life, my whole life and the process, you know, that I've been through. And yeah, going with the question about the pressure, I think that's one of the key things, not only with athletes, not only with like people who have jobs that requires a lot of like fame and that kind of situations. I think everyone comes from that pressure, you know, sometimes family pressure, you know, in my country, religion, it's a massive subject, you know, then family culture as well. So every time you're trying to feel some expectation about, about people. In my case, for example, it was the other way around. My family always, always let me be whatever I want to be, right? Because I come from a very sport family, right? The father of my mother was a soccer player professional, too. And then my mother get married with my father that is a soccer professional player too. So I was the third generation about soccer players. And they were the other way around. They always tell me whatever you want to be, but then... You fell in love with soccer. It was in my veins, you know, it was in my veins. So I'm bringing you this because the first time that I experienced like that type of pressure or narrative about those kind of situations It was when I was a kid and when I didn't, I couldn't spend that much time with my friends because some parents of my friends start speaking bad about my success in that time or that I was a good player. They always give the credit that, ah, it's because he's the son of that guy. Oh, really? Oh, it's because he has some help because of course their family is famous and stuff like that. Like if I didn't earn nothing, like if everything was given to me.

Wow. That's a big thing to overcome when your father, your grandfather is a famous athlete in the same sport. Then you have a leg up or they gave you an advantage. So how did you overcome that first from childhood, from a young boy, to overcome the narrative and kind of outbeat your father and your grandparents? How did you overcome that?

With a lot of mental fitness, man. And I didn't realize in that time, my family, my parents, The advantage that I have in that moment, it wasn't that I was playing because of my family. The advantage that I have over there, it was that I learned from so many things that other people can't learn because they don't have those figures in their life. My dad had a career. My grandfather had a career. So they know about the career.

They can teach you the nots.

Exactly. The things that you cannot see, the things that you shouldn't be doing that much. the things that you should invest more time, et cetera, right? So one of them, it was my family saying they always teach me, like, let's not avoid or let's not suppress, like, yeah, those things are out of control. We cannot manage them. We are not, we're not going to play to change their minds. You need to keep going in the road that you want to be. And they always ask me, do you want to play professional soccer player? That was the main goal, right? Professional soccer player. Every single time I was yes, and they told me, well, these obstacles are the ones that are gonna make you stronger for those things, even when I was a kid. So being surround amazing people or people that they're in the same vibration as you, it's key. It's key, man. And unfortunately, there's people that, for example, there are kids over there that they don't have that probably. They don't have even parents. They don't have brothers. They don't have people around that. so it's very important, I think, to be so humble. We were speaking about this before, so humble that you need to learn. And my family teach me that without teaching me that, right? Because I always was. I trust so much in them because my father, like, I have tangible evidence that my dad told me, look, I did this and it worked out. And look, son, I didn't do this. something that I should have have done.

And look what happened.

And look what happened to me. I couldn't have a better career if look, if I didn't do this, if I slept better, if I take care.

Of my body, if I drink alcohol.

If I drink water. Exactly, stuff like the situations, right? So that was the first time about depression because I was the son of, the son of, and the grandson of, the grandson of. But something that it was very beautiful inside my house, inside my family. we took that in a joking and loving way. Even my grandfather, he did an amazing job of like saying, look man, like, look man, you cannot speak to me like 1v1 until you do this in a very joking way, in a very like, son, I love you. I know your worth is amazing, but of course you need to get there somewhere that you need to get, right? So yeah, that pressure and that situations, I start a little bit living with that. that. But man, the only way that I learned it was, I think, the bravery of my family and myself to go for it and fall and fail, right? To don't achieve things that I didn't achieve in that time. To feel the pain of growth, you know, to be in the spot. People, when you say to people be in the spot, they imagine just a soccer player playing in the stadium. That's the spot. No. The spot is being in those situations where things are not going your way, man. When they tell you you are not good enough, a lot of managers told me you are not good at it.

Really?

A lot of situations, it didn't happen for me. For example, when I was 17 years old, my teammates or the national team won for the first time a World Cup under 17. And I was in the list of the 20, for example, 26 players and just 23 go there. So I was just caught in the last.

No way.

And wait about that, Luis. one of the toughest but so richful moments that I live in this story.

Because that's painful.

It is, but wait. No, but wait what happens next? Because of course I'm cut out, right? So, and I'm watching... And then they go and win. Of course, but no, wait, Luis, wait. Let me take you to this because wait, but it's gonna get even very more interesting. They're doing very good. I'm in Guadalajara doing my stuff and trying to I said, like, climb the ladder to get to, to first division, not to professional, like, like division anyway. And you are watching on the TV and news that your teammates are doing great. That's great. Then suddenly the owner of the team that I was, that I was playing that time invite me and invite another teammate knowing that we were in the whole process, but we didn't go there on the national team. But we were cut out. My other, my other friend was cut out because he got injured. And myself, it was because the manager just decided another player was better, right? Anyway, they invite us to fly private with our families to watch the final. No. Wait, you know my response when I was 16? I said no. Oh, man. No, I said, wait, I'm not gonna go.

Go watch this. Yeah.

I watch it by TV and of course I can't. And that's why my family, it's been crucial in my life. Because my parents at that time they couldn't go because my father was like a manager, he was a team so he couldn't go and my mother didn't want to come by herself. So what they decided is like, let's your grandparents, the father and the mother of my mother go with you. And they convinced me in a very loving way of like, go, it's gonna be a great experience. A great experience. They didn't say it's gonna be fun, they didn't say nothing, they said like, it's gonna be a great experience. I'm not saying that my parents knew what I was gonna feel. But they were like, man, they're inviting you, the owner of the team, of you want to play professionally, and it's a gift, receive it, right? Anyway, we go there, it was in Peru, in Lima, not the final. You go there, you see your friends before the match, then you go to the match, right? You go to the stadium, right? We are in the stadium, final. Mexico against Brazil.

Oh my gosh.

Okay, final. First goal, the score was 3-0, Mexico won, right? First goal, amazing celebration, excitement, nervousness still. The second goal happened, still the same, like we're in the game, we're winning, etc. Luis, the third goal came in and it was like 20 minutes to go. When that goal scored, I knew they were gonna be champions, right? I started crying without knowing about crying because that was one of the first lessons about these bittersweet feelings, right? Because of course I feel so much love appreciation, gratefulness, my friends, like your best friends are winning, my country is winning. But the bitter situation is like I could have been them.

Oh man, man.

And then I was crying by myself and I forgot my grandparents were there. Ah, it gets to my core still every time that I speak about this. But my grandmother came. And she was crying as well, looking at me, celebration of the third goal and everything. And I remember she held my face and she said, Luzon, like, yeah, Luzon. Right now, it's not your time. But if you trust in me like in the way that I know you do and in us, your time will come. Trust in me. Right now, it's difficult to believe it. and of course I imagine, it's very difficult to believe it, but now it's when you need to trust the most. Wow. And we just held and we cried because that was our moment of like, yeah, we're happy everything is happening, but it wasn't our time. Let's embrace it. It's not like cry, shut up and keep moving. No, it was like learning how to go through emotions, man.

Yeah.

Because it was painful.

Of course.

Of course it was painful, right?

You let it out and you process it.

Let it out and then something Everything else, of course, you go to the.

Hotel, you kind of cry.

Yeah, you kind of celebrate with your friends, but you cannot celebrate. It's like when people invite you to a party and you cannot eat the cake and you cannot dance. Right. And you are in the party, right? So that was the first time, exactly, that it was a breakthrough in my life about that. Wow.

What did you do after that moment? Because it was a letdown, it was a disappointment, it was a sadness, it was a grieving, it was an emotional loss. But there was a win and your friends are, you know, celebrating their champions. What did you do mentally and physically after that moment?

Okay, physically we traveled back to Mexico and then, yeah, I went back to my house and I see my father and my mother for the first time. Of course, it was a... I shared the loss, we shared all the loss and then I have a very crucial talk with my father specifically. My mother was there, my sister obviously. But with my father, my father asked me this. He said, Son, I know what you're feeling. I know it feels like a loss. He's always been very objective. And he said, But son, it wasn't a loss. And I was like, he said, It wasn't a loss. And I'm going to explain you why. How many times we talk about you being world champion under 17 for Mexico? And he was like, no, we don't have that talk. We don't even dream it. And he said, these situations are extras and a consequence of what you are doing. This opportunity couldn't happen if you weren't doing good in your club. And your dream, if I'm not mistaken, it's playing for the first division of Chivas, right? And he said, like, right. And I was like, yeah, right. So this is not gonna affect you that bad. It could help you. And he said, it could help you to get quicker or better or the path could change, you know? But it's nothing has changed. Tomorrow you need to go to play for the team that pays your salary. that gives you all the tools for you to develop your talents and try to get to the first division. And I was like, wow. And I asked, and I told him, yeah, but dad, what I'm feeling, yeah, I understand, but like, what I'm feeling, etc. And my dad said, look, this is gonna make you stronger, and I'm gonna tell you why. Unfortunately, in life, when people go through those emotions and those situations, they get stronger mentally and emotionally. And it's gonna sound difficult, but I'm not happy, but I'm glad you're living this, because right now you are stronger than some of those players. And he was very, very critique in this sense. And I'm gonna say I never said it, but my dad said, look, son, I'm believing me. I hope from the bottom of my heart that those 23 players get to first division. But I'm sure not even half are gonna get there.

Wow.

Because I know the path. I know how that life is. And I know how everything happens. Right.

It's almost better that you, you were top 26, but didn't go to get top 23. Because if you would have sat the bench and never played at all, it may be an even worse feeling. Like, I'm seeing the bench.

Could be. Exactly. Exactly.

Sitting the bench. I'm celebrating, but I'm not. Okay, I'm good.

Yeah.

But you're not like feeling the pain of the loss, you know, of watching and being so close. You're like, you,'re there, okay, maybe you can coast a little bit. But this really drove you, it sounds like. Did you just turn on a switch mentally and physically with your training and your mindset after this? Did you start training harder or what happened?

Yeah. Look, something that has happened every single time in my life until today, in that moment, I didn't have the knowledge or experience, right? and I mean, that's why School of Greatness and this and these projects are made for. It's like going through all of that, release the stress, release a lot of like stuff that you are like carrying it and it opens up energy. Now I can explain it like that with my experience but at that time I didn't know. But what I knew it was like if I'm feeling something, look if you're feeling sad cry, If you're feeling angry, let it out, don't like with all the respect, but by yourself in a way shout and that's it and you let it out. If you are happy, laugh, enjoy it, share, like all of those emotions my parents kind of teach me in a way. So after that, things start happening, Luis. A part of myself was a release. I was like convinced of like, okay, my body is here, they are right, let's keep working. I keep doing the same and the same and the same. And then two years later, I go to the World Cup of Under 20s. With the same manager, same team, even more difficult because in the Under 20s, for example, in the Under 17s, normally there's the limit of the age and normally everyone goes. But then on their 20s in that time, they're one year older than you have the opportunity to go. So it's more difficult to go because there's like two ages of players can go, right? And I go there. and I go to the World Cup, I score a goal. We didn't, we went out of quarterfinals, something like that. We lost against Argentina with Kun Agüero, like amazing players. But then I go there, the resilience that my family and myself show in that time of like going through that emotion, staying in the path and when it feels or sometimes in these like path or tunnels that we call Even where you cannot see the light that you can feel, make yourself believe. Faith. Believe that was it. That was it. That was it. And then I look, and just to merge a little bit with your first question about the pressure, people don't believe that my family was amazing of never ever make me feel that I've achieved whatever I have achieved or if I play an amazing game and score three goals to make me feel that it was like they always humbled me.

Really?

Always. It's not about pressure, but they always humbled me. And I always create this process of like, I know every time that I play a match, Regardless, we are gonna talk about the things that you can improve, no matter what.

What you could do better.

So imagine I go now to a casino with my friends, but I know as soon as I step in the car, when they have my house, or my parents are there, we're gonna like review their match, talk about it, and I learn how a little bit, yeah, battle my ego. Man, when you're 17, 18, World Cups, you can score goals, of course. you don't have those experiences you feel like you are in the top of the world and you feel like already made everything and stuff and my family helped me that sense of always like, which is the goal. And they teach me something without the words but I think with actions about like, nothing is gonna be enough. If you win a match you always want to win another one. If you score one you always want to score one more. If you score 100 goals, now you want to score 200 goals. Sure, sure, sure. So, like unconsciously they teach me that, like always like, hey man, there's always better things to achieve or to work for, right? So that's how I handle pressure. And then we can keep going on my story because yeah, then imagine that was a pressure in my family, in my niche. But then of course, when I was 21 years old, my life changed completely. And then the entire country knew about me and then think of all the.

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I was representing the country.

Right.

And it was like you explained in the beginning, right? Sometimes if I don't score goals, it's like I let down my country. Literally. How does that feel?

So this was a 21 year in the World Cup?

Exactly, in the 20, yeah, 21-22. I just become 22. But before all of that, they transferred me to Manchester United.