The Neuroscience of Manifestation: How Your Mind Is Creating Your Reality | Dr. James Doty
In this episode of the School of Greatness, host Lewis Howes interviews neuroscientist and author Dr. James Doty about the science behind manifestation, the role of compassion, and how our nervous system, early conditioning, and attachment styles shape the outcomes we experience. Doty explains how fear‑based motivation (e.g., harsh coaches, authoritarian bosses) can produce short‑term results but creates chronic stress, whereas love‑based, compassionate environments engage the parasympathetic nervous system, improve physiological health, and sustain long‑term growth. He shares personal stories—from a childhood marked by critical parenting to a supportive rowing coach, from a CEO’s 360‑review disaster to a compassionate corporate turnaround—and illustrates how these experiences inform his 6‑step manifestation framework. Practical tools are offered, including a morning breathing‑awe ritual, a 10‑letter C‑D‑E‑…‑K mantra (Compassion, Dignity, Equanimity, … Kindness), gratitude journaling, and a new AI‑driven mental‑health app (Happi.ai) that uses emotion‑assessment to deliver compassion‑focused therapy. The conversation also touches on the importance of non‑attachment to specific outcomes, the power of releasing expectations, and the three core truths Doty would leave behind: believe in yourself, care for others, and be kind to yourself. The episode concludes with Doty’s definition of greatness—authenticity, self‑understanding, and caring for others—tying together neuroscience, spirituality, and actionable daily habits for manifesting a fulfilling life.
Chapters
What is the number one thought that blocks us from the ability to manifest greater?
Fear. It's insecurity. It's shame. And when you're fearful, this stimulates your sympathetic nervous system with all the negative aspects of it. When you love, you're open, you're generous, you're thoughtful, you're kind, because you've engaged the parasympathetic nervous system. And you have a choice.
Bestselling author, international speaker, Professor Jim Doty.
Dr. James Doty, what a pleasure I have you, the one and only great teacher, Dr.
James Doty.
We know that what wires together fires together.
Yes.
And my point about that is, number one, you have to work. This isn't like, oh, I thought of it, therefore it should happen. It's like anything. Everybody's manifesting every day. They just do it very inefficiently, right?
How did you learn to break the limiting beliefs and create more empowering beliefs to support you to feel emotionally free and start to attract more of what you wanted in your life?
Well, first of all, Welcome back everyone to the School of Greatness.
Very excited about our guest. We have the inspiring James Doty in the house. Doctor, good to see you. Thanks for being here. I am fascinated by this topic of manifestation and I'm even more fascinated when you bring neuroscience research and studies that back the power of manifestation. Your new book, Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything, I'm very excited about because you kind of walk us through these different steps on the process of manifestation. So first, I wanted to ask you a question about the difference between the Law of Attraction and manifestation. Are they the same thing or are they different?
Well, if you look historically at the Law of Attraction, it goes back to Hermetics, which is this group in the 1st or 2nd century AD. And there was this belief in the mind, and they used the terminology, the Law of Attraction. And of course, then there's a guy, I think his name was Phineas Quimby, who then promoted this further. And this was in the 18th century or so. And then of course, or 19th century. And then we had, who was it? Think and Grow Rich. Napoleon Hill. Yes. And sort of continued on that path. So it is this narrative that there is this universal power that when you want something, if you whatever, use the right methods, you will get it. And it's of course been embraced by the group who sort of promotes woo-woo and pseudoscience. And that's not to say there's not a kernel of truth, but it's been surrounded by all sorts of other aspects that I think diminish the actual power of it.
So there is power in the law of attraction.
Well, you could say it's synonymous. The manner in which it is used is synonymous with manifestation. The question is, I think more importantly, all of us are manifesting every day, right? Most of us do it very inefficiently, right? You know, because everybody sits and says, I want X, Y, or Z, or I wish for this to happen. I think there are techniques you can use that can maximize the potential for you manifesting your intentions. So learning how the brain works and how those techniques work maximize that. So you go, it's like an athlete, as you well know, you know, if you've never been taught something, you try it for the first time, you sort of stumble through it. Yeah. Frankly, most people stumble through life. Right? And then as you practice it or you learn from people who, you know, have the knowledge, then you perfect it. And then you understand the, if you wanna say, the neuroscience underpinnings of it and how you make these what we call cognitive brain networks interact. And then you've taken it from, sort of, well, it might happen, I thought about it too. There's a high likelihood it will happen.
How, I mean, how people talk about the conscious mind and the subconscious mind, what is at play when we start to think about things we want to manifest and actually actualizing them in the physical material world? Is it the conscious mind or the subconscious mind that is driving this manifestation process?
Well, that's an excellent question. So the key is how do you get information which sticks into your subconscious? So just saying, I want this, it may or may not work because again, we're also distracted by all sorts of stuff. You know, as an example, we have about 10 million bits of information coming in through our sensory organs every second.
10 million?
Million, yes. And we're only able to process on a conscious level 50 to 100. Okay, so now most of that goes to maintaining homeostasis or functioning of our body systems on an unconscious level. But we have actually access to our subconscious level, and you can learn that through different techniques and then utilize those to maximize the input. And so when I say you have 50 to 100 bits, you can use part of that to consciously embed your intention if you know how to do that.
Interesting.
Wow.
Okay. And as a, you know, as a brain surgeon and a neuroscientist yourself, what did you learn through working on physical brains, the matter, as well as neuroscience in terms of, I guess, creating this for your life, a more harmonious, abundant life, studying both the brain and the mind?
Well, in some ways, I mean, being a neurosurgeon's a physical task, and it's not as if there are little signs on the brain that tell you where everything is. Now, certainly we know from anatomy generally where things are, but you have to remember, I mean, there's a subset of people who, you know, we talk about our speech center being on the left side. But there's a subset of people that's on the right side.
Really?
Yes.
How do you know that?
You don't, unless there's something that interferes with it or you specifically test for it. So in general, the anatomy is pretty consistent, but you know, it's like looking at somebody, you know, you're tall, there's a short person, and that's the way the brain works. Not everyone is wired the same way or has everything in the exact spot. And in fact, as an example, let's say you play the violin. The homunculus, which is both the sensory and motor area that has different representations of body parts— if you're a violinist, the area associated with your hand or hands get dramatically increased in size compared to other parts of your brain.
Interesting.
And in fact, the same is true with certain types of meditation practices, right? So you can have a profound effect on your brain, physical brain, and certainly you have power over your mind. And in some ways, that's what we're talking about is— and this goes back, you mentioned the law of attraction, you know, all is in the mind. And I think, in fact, some of the things you talk about, you understand that when you are disciplined and can get access, you can make things happen.
Yes.
And whether it's a physical challenge or a mental challenge, but you have to understand how to get access. Mm.
So how do we get access?
I'm not gonna tell you until you buy the book.
Exactly. Well, one of the things you talk about in the book is this phenomenon of vibration. And, you know, it's interesting because there's brainwaves, but there's also heart energy or vibration as well. And I think you mentioned about how the heart vibration is actually, I don't know, 10 or 50 times more powerful than the brainwaves, I think, correct?
Yeah, actually, you can measure the vibrational energy from the heart at 5 or 6 feet away. And, you know, this is where it gets confusing between the woo-woo and the reality, because a lot of people will wrap all sorts of other baggage onto that, but it's true. And the interesting thing about that though is, and I'm sure you appreciated it, you can meet people who have an energy about them and a presence about them, and it makes you feel good. Yeah. And typically these are people who are nonjudgmental, accepting, open, and respect who you are as a person. They don't look down at you. And you wanna be around those people. And those people emit this very positive energy.
That's interesting, yeah.
And so it's interesting also because, as an example, if you have a group of women who live together, over a period of months, their menstrual cycles will match.
Really?
Yes.
Why is that?
Well, it's the nature of this vibrational energy, and I talk about it in the book. And in fact, if you took a metronome, like had 5 or 6 metronomes lined up, and watch them and they're on the same table vibrating, they will all get in sync over a period of time. And so this idea of vibration has actually an influence on things.
On other things.
Yeah. Uh-huh.
So if I'm acting chaotic and I'm constantly in the state of chaos, if I'm around someone else, I may influence them to create that type of vibration as well, or vice versa, they might influence me if they're calmer, for me to get calm.
Yes, yes, absolutely. And in fact, which one wins? Oh, that's a good question. I mean, it depends on how powerful that energy is, and that energy can be very powerful, negative or positive. Wow. And of course, I think you would agree, most people try to avoid being around negative people. Of course. You know, there's a saying that— what do they call them? Energy eaters, I think.
Yes.
You're around them, it's like In fact, I got called by a woman the other day, and I just dread getting a call from her ever because it always turns into a drama about her, and you sit there and it's just over and over again, and it's sad because, and we can talk about this more, all of us carry baggage from our childhoods, right?
Yes.
And until you are aware that the baggage you carry has an influence on every decision you make, every relationship you have, you can't change. As an example, I'm sure you've seen situations where individuals repeatedly pick an abusive partner.
Yes.
Over and over again. And they think, I don't understand why this happens to me. Because you have created that energy that allows that to happen. And I'm not blaming, I'm just saying that this is truth. So if you never understood, as an example, that while when I was a kid I had an abusive father and, you know, he would be mean to me or hurt me, the problem is, you know, that becomes familiar to you. And even though it's painful and hurts you, it is something that's associated with a love figure.
Interesting.
And it's really very sad, actually.
I mean, how— I mean, A lot of our programming and conditioning sounds like it is wired in us at a very young age. And we have been conditioned by 7, 8, 9, 10 to have a set of beliefs, way of thinking, and a way of feeling around our environments and relationships. And then we live with it for 10, 20, 30 years until we start to become aware of it, hopefully sooner. But we kind of repeat these patterns until there's a breakdown or there's a, sadness or a breakup or something that gets us to wake up. How hard is it to change our belief systems that have been wired in us for decades?
Well, it's very hard. I mean, you see it every day. You see people who become addicted to alcohol and drugs. And, you know, it's not because they want to live that life. It's because they're in such pain from the baggage they carry and they have no way out.
That's the coping mechanism.
Yes.
The relief.
Yes. And so it's very sad. And as you pointed out, until there is a profound, painful event that gets their attention, many of them won't change.
Is it possible for people to change if they don't go through some type of painful, dramatic event?
Well, you know, there's a saying, the teacher comes when the student's ready. If the student's not ready, it's hard to change. Now, don't get me wrong, you know, there's certainly instances where somebody like wakes up one day and they go, I don't like this. I feel horrible. I've just ruined this relationship. I need to have an internal assessment of myself and talk to some people and to give me insight. Yes, you can do that, but it's hard. And even for me, as an example, as a child, I learned a sort of a manifestation technique from a woman in a magic shop. And this is actually about my first book. Which is called Into the Magic Shop: A Neurosurgeon's Quest to Discover the Mysteries of the Brain and the Secrets of the Heart. And that story is about my own childhood growing up in poverty with an alcoholic father and a mother who had had a stroke when I was a child.
Wow.
Was partially paralyzed, had a seizure disorder, and chronically depressed and attempted suicide multiple times. And we were on public assistance. You know, you can imagine overcoming that baggage is very, very hard. And, uh, uh, but this is also an example of how one person can intervene and change somebody's life. And so what happened was I had an interest in magic, and, uh, and thus that actually the name of this book is Mind Magic, uh, and it ended up When my parents would, some event would happen which was traumatic, I would get on my bicycle and ride as far and as fast away as I could. And I ended up at a strip mall and there was a magic shop there. And I walked in and there was a woman there who was, as I described, this radiant person with this incredible smile whose very presence embraced you. And I was 12. Wow. And I was filled with despair, hopelessness. It turned out she was the owner's mother. She knew nothing about magic. Really? Yes, but we began a conversation and she was giving me chocolate chip cookies, which was great.
Exactly what you needed at that time.
But the thing is, she asked me actually some personal questions, which frankly, you know, who wants to tell somebody you're poor, your father's an alcoholic? But I answered her questions, and after a while she said to me, she said, "You know, I really like you. I think I can teach you something that could really help you." And what she taught me was what we would now call a mindfulness practice. Because as you know, talking about baggage, when you grow up in an unpredictable, chaotic environment, you're essentially in a war zone every day. As a result, it chronically stimulates your sympathetic nervous system or your flight, fight, or fear response. And what happens is that affects your brain in the sense that it cuts down options because you're looking at the shortest distance you have to go to survive. As a result, you can never relax. You're always fidgety. You're always looking around 'cause you never know what's gonna happen next. So she taught me a technique of what we'd call a body survey now, how to relax your body. And then she taught me how to concentrate, in this case by looking at a candle and doing a breathing exercise. And these are the fundamental techniques associated with the mindfulness practice because it then shifts you from engagement of your sympathetic nervous system to engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system, which is really where we should live. You're open, you're thoughtful, you have access to your executive control areas in the brain in terms of memory, and experience, and you're much more creative. And so when you're able to make that shift, that changes how you look at the world. The other problem is from these types of backgrounds, but I would say essentially everyone, we have a negative dialogue going on in our head.
An inner critic.
Yes, and as much as people say, I always ask this question when I give a talk, and almost everybody raises their hand and then this hand doesn't, and you go, "Look dude, you're lying, man." Everybody has an inner critic. It's just some are much more powerful than others. And so she also taught me to recognize that that wasn't truth.
The inner critic.
Yes, because if you, and being an athlete, I'm sure you know, if you tell yourself it's not possible, by definition, it is not possible. It cannot happen. And so when people listen to that, they are giving their self-agency away. And in some ways, this is the nature of how we take control of our manifestation. And as you know from the first sentence in the book, it says the universe doesn't give a fuck about you because it has no fuck to give. There is not some external entity deciding your fate because you're a good or a bad guy. But we have immense power within us to control our destiny. And when you give it away and listen to that critic, then you're limiting your beliefs. So the key is how do you unlimit your beliefs, if you will? And that is understanding the incredible power you have within yourself. When you sit there and say every day, I'm not worthy, I don't deserve love, it's not possible, I'm an imposter, I can't do it, It's as if you're building a prison for yourself with bricks. Wow. And the wall gets higher and it gets darker and you feel more and more powerless and you feel like there's some external force controlling your life. When you understand within you is an incredible power to change your destiny and you have that power and finally you recognize it, then extraordinary things can happen. And this is how you go from you being in charge, or let's say a belief that others are in charge, to actually you being in charge.
But how did, I mean, how did you learn to break free of the limiting beliefs that you had and the fight or flight symptoms that you were constantly in, which I felt as a kid as well, and felt very insecure, stupid, and unlovable for many different reasons. And I was able to back it with beliefs and evidence throughout my childhood. How did you learn to break the limiting beliefs and create more empowering beliefs to support you to feel emotionally free and start to attract more of what you wanted in your life?
Well, first of all, I don't want to imply that that journey's done, right?
Hey, yeah.
You know, sometimes people look at you and they go, oh man, you have it all together now. None of us have it all together, right? Every one of us is still a frail, fragile human being who is struggling. And some of us are a little further on that journey, others continue to have difficulty. But interacting with this woman made me see the world through a different lens. Because when you have negative statements that you tell yourself repeatedly, as I said, that takes away your agency.
Yes.
Your own power.
You feel powerless.
Yes, but the thing is, then when you're beating up yourself, and you're typically the most critical person of yourself than anyone you know, then you look through the lens of being critical to everyone else.
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Interesting. So when we are critical of ourselves, does that support us in creating great relationships with others?
No, oftentimes it's very damaging because you're always thinking of, oh well, they're gonna cheat on me, they're going to lie because you're telling yourself these types of narratives. And so it's hard to be authentic.
When you're critical of self.
Yes, yes, and this goes back to a whole nother discussion, if you will, about if you look at the Blue Zones as an example, obviously we're jumping around all over the place here.
Sure, sure, sure, Loma Linda's right down the street, an hour away, one of the Blue Zones.
Yes, of course. But if you look at the Blue Zones or you look at the work of the Harvard Longevity or Adult Development Study, it's called. Yeah. But this is the work of Robert Waldinger. Centuries ago when we lived in villages, we were born there. We had a community that even with our flaws still loved us and watched out for us and taught us lessons. We had our parents, our siblings, our grandparents in proximity to us. And the very nature of that, actually, you don't have that negative dialogue going on, okay? It is the negative dialogue that's extraordinarily unhealthy. Because you see, when you're always stressed and anxious and negative towards yourself, well, what does this do? This stimulates your septal sympathetic nervous system, which then does what? It results in the production of inflammatory proteins, which of course are associated with chronic disease states. It depresses your immune system. It increases the levels of stress hormones like cortisol, which on a chronic basis are very bad for you. Your cardiac function's impaired, your blood pressure's increased. So all these negative aspects are activated when you're constantly hypercritical.
Wow.
Right? And then you don't feel that good.
Right, you feel tired, you feel exhausted, drained.
And the other aspect is, as an example with my own parents, I used to have a sense that it wasn't that I wasn't loved, but I was ignored. I couldn't understand why they would do these actions. And I was angry all the time. And when I changed how I looked at the world, it made me much more sympathetic and kind because I realized everyone is suffering on some level. And the issue wasn't that they didn't care. The issue was they had not had tools to help themselves.
To heal, to process, to regulate.
Exactly. And so, you know, I'm sure you've known people, you've watched them go through their lives and they constantly struggle because no one has ever shown them a different way. And that's the only way. And sometimes, I think you're probably thinking, yes, I've showed them a thousand times, but they don't listen.
They're not willing. Yeah, they've got to be willing to apply, right?
Back to the question of the teacher.
If they're ready to, yeah.
Yes, yes, yes. But the reason I was saying that though is that in many ways sets the stage for how you're going to respond. So this interaction with this woman, I was able to self-regulate.
She taught you skills.
Yes, she taught me a mindfulness practice.
And you were ready for it.
Exactly. And so I realized once I was able to relax, once I was able to be present and attend, because you can't learn anything or change if your mind's always somewhere, right? In my example of growing up, you know, I never knew what was going to happen, so I'm always worried about something happening to me. But the action is here between you and I. It's not about possibilities. And this also limits people's power, right? Because if you can't focus and attend, you can't accomplish, right? And if you're always distracted, it's not possible. So she taught me to relax. She taught me to be present. And then strange things happen because you're feeling a different type of energy coming from others and yourself. And that energy has an influence. As an example, I'm sure that you've seen the situation and where you get a bad vibe from somebody on the street and you cross the street.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, and you are picking up something on an intuitive level. But the thing is, if you have anger and hostility yourself, you are imitating that to other people. And what I tell people is when I changed how I looked at myself, It changed how I looked at the world, and that changed how the world reacted to me.
How the world looked at you as well.
Exactly. So after this period of time with this woman, I was much more open, I was thoughtful, I was generous, I was kind, because I understood I had been in pain and was in pain, but so were other people. So it changed how I looked at them.
Wow.
And I think that's a very critical aspect of sort of maturing and sort of being on a path of self-development.
That's beautiful. What would you say then is the, what is the number one thought and number one emotion that blocks us from the ability to manifest greater?
Fear.
What type of fear?
Well, it's insecurity, it's shame, and it's— this results in you limiting your beliefs. And so in some ways, what we're talking about here actually is a decision between fear and love, right? And when you're fearful, this stimulates your sympathetic nervous system with all the negative aspects of it. When you love, you're open, you're generous, you're thoughtful, you're kind because you've engaged the parasympathetic nervous system. And you have a choice. This is like if you look at Stoic philosophers, like somebody like Epictetus, who was a slave. He says, I cannot control my external environment. What I can control is how I react to my environment, right? So You meet people, I'm sure, say, "My life's miserable, my life's horrible," while you meet other people go, "Well, it's tough right now, but I'm optimistic it's gonna get better," or, "I know if I do this, it's gonna get better." These are completely oppositional attitudes that have a profound, profound effect depending on what you're believing.
Yes, but how does someone shift their attitude into positive when they're in a suffering state and they feel like they're a victim to so many different things happening to them.
Sure. Well, I can't sit here and say, "You do this and your life's gonna be perfect." There's some situations either because of, as an example, structural racism that's built into the system or chronic poverty because throughout the world and even in America, the ability to overcome poverty For most, it's highly unlikely that's going to happen. So yes, you do have power, but it's not necessarily, I'm going to change it and everything's going to be perfect for me. And I'm sure things are not perfect for you, right? Yeah. And no matter how much you try or want, well, externally things may look fantastic. It's not perfect. Sure. And it's not the way you necessarily want. And I have to say the same thing. But there are people who, yeah, no matter how hard they're going to work, it's going to be very challenging. That being said, what we do know is there are certain practices and rules. And if you are going to get out of something or if you are going to change things, then the best way to do that, which has the highest likelihood of success, is to go through some of the things that we're talking about here. And one of those is that, as an example, there is a tendency for us to want to achieve, right? And if you're an athlete, you have a goal you set there. Well, goals are fine, but if you focus only on the goal and have no concern about any of the other things that are going on—
the process—
yeah, then you reach the goal and there's nothing there.
Yeah.
Yet what we do know, the greatest cause of suffering is what? It's attachment and craving.
Desires. Yeah, yeah.
And the thing is, when that is your absolute focus, and we can't all get these things, you're going to be highly disappointed. And you've ignored all the people in your life as you focus solely on that. And unfortunately, many people learn that lesson far along after they've destroyed their families, they've been through multiple marriages, their kids don't like them, right?
Because they've been chasing a result or a goal or a dream but neglecting everything else.
Yeah, because again, as I was saying even about myself, I thought, well, if I just do this, you know, my shame and insecurity will go away. I'll be loved by everybody and my life will be perfect. Yet at every one of those peaks, all I had was disappointment. And while everyone told me life was great, I did not feel that inside because I had not understood that I was the only one who had the key to the self-created prison. And until you realize that, you're on a very difficult Pash.
So if we're coming from a place of insecurity, fear, or lack, and we're saying, you know what, I want to manifest, I want to create more for myself, I want to have more money, I want to have more opportunities, accomplishments, success, and that's what I want, I desire these things, and I start to apply some of the practices of manifesting and creating more abundance in my life. But if I create those external results and I haven't shifted the insecurities or the shame, what happens next?
Well, you end up the way I did, which is you have everything and you're incredibly unhappy.
Yeah. So you can still manifest and attract what you want and create what you want and accomplish goals, but it's not gonna make you feel different about yourself. It might actually make you feel worse.
Exactly. And this is why I was telling you about the story about the woman, because I was 12. And she taught me a visualization technique or manifestation technique, which is actually the origin of where this book came from. So at 12, she said, "I want you to write down 10 things that you want." Well, again, unfortunately, in Western capitalist society, and a 12-year-old, you sit there and think of what people want in that world.
I want money, I want cars, I want girls, I want—
Well, yeah, I wanted a Rolex watch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because a friend of mine's father had one and it looked so amazing to me, right? I wanted a silver Porsche Targa. I wanted a mansion overlooking the ocean, et cetera, et cetera. At 12?
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I wanted a million dollars, which nowadays would probably be about $100 million. But anyway, and I got absolutely every one of those things and I was more miserable than I had ever been.
Really?
And the interesting thing about that is that, and this is in some ways the point of this book, because Again, the average person thinks they know what they want. They don't understand what they need. And that's the critical aspect here.
What's the difference between knowing what we want and having what we need?
So as you know, there's what we call hedonic happiness. So the list I just gave you, it relates to pleasure and hedonic happiness. I want It will make me feel good about myself, I, I, I. That is the worst thing you can do if you want to manifest the best.
Really?
Yes.
When you make it about self.
Yes, because in some ways you're talking about insecurity. The driver of that is insecurity, fear, right?
And not enough.
And not enough. And especially poor people look through the lens of not enough. And so when you're acting by a belief based on fear, that has a negative effect on these cognitive brain networks. Now, it doesn't mean it's not possible. It just means that you're limiting yourself. And so we talk about this idea of hedonic or selfish happiness, and this is transitory, it's shallow, doesn't last long, right? Eudaimonic happiness is a sense of a purpose, and that actually is in terms of benefiting others. It's not about yourself. And the key to that though is that when you look through the lens, and we're talking about looking through the lens of compassion, what happens is that you then change how you see the world and what you need, not what you want.
Mm-hmm, interesting. Right.
You see, and that changes everything because you realize when you're of service, when you're caring for others, you don't necessarily need the— having that big house or the Porsche isn't gonna make you whole. And so you probably don't chase that anymore because it's a chimera that you're focused on because you think it's going to help get rid of the shame and the emptiness. You see, so it's a different mindset. So when you shift to the parasympathetic nervous system, that activates all of your brain networks and allows them to sync together, if you will, and then has the highest likelihood of manifesting.
Interesting. So what I'm hearing you say, and correct me if I'm wrong, when we come from a place of lack and wanting more for personal gain by itself, it's not going to bring us the ultimate level of happiness. Versus when we come from a place of wanting to create more to serve or impact others in some way that is connected to a purpose, a greater purpose, we will have more fulfillment and hopefully manifest exactly what we need.
Exactly. That's exactly right. And that summarizes it. That is the fundamental key here.
Interesting.
And I can tell you, you know, for myself, as I said, I did get everything I wanted. And I was miserable. And then I went through this period where I'd been very successful in business and during the dot-com period, and I had $80 million or so. And then the crash came. I was $3 million in debt, but I had been miserably unhappy anyway.
With $80 million or negative $3 million?
Well, there was not much difference, actually. Really?
When you had $80 million of, I guess, net worth, in the bank or on paper, how did that make you feel? Did you feel any better about your self-worth?
No. Really? No, not a bit.
I mean, for like a moment, like, oh, I've got money now. I did this thing. And look, I proved all you wrong.
And yeah, but yes, I proved them all wrong, but it did nothing for me. And that's my point is, you know, I— well, let me back up a little bit. Did I enjoy driving Ferraris? Yes. Did I enjoy Porsches? Yes. Did I enjoy having a villa in Florence? Yes. But that being said, I was missing so much that it limited how good I felt about any of it. Because, you know, having friends who tell you how great you are, unless you believe it, it doesn't mean anything. Wow. And, you know, I didn't believe it. And so when the dot-com period came, I lost all this money and I had to sell everything. And so I went through this period of deep reflection. And the part of it was, what had I missed in what this woman was trying to teach me? And obviously I was 12 and I had no self-awareness. But the other thing that happened is, even though I was a doctor helping people, My actions though were based on, I want people to see I'm a doctor, right?
Status.
Yes, status. Acknowledgement.
Look at me.
Yeah, like, yeah, I'm the doctor. I live in this mansion overlooking the ocean. I have all of these cars. I come into the hospital and everyone praises me, right? And that was out of my own insecurity and anxiety and fear. When I went through this period of self-reflection, I really understood that. And then it changed, right? Because it was no longer about me, it was about other people. And as an example, I mentioned Jim Carrey.
I love that part about this, yeah. I love the story of the $10 million check and the whole thing.
Right, but what he said with his audience was, you know, when he started it was all about his own ego being involved, and then he realized though he was there for a purpose to be of service to the people. And in fact, Jimmy Page with Led Zeppelin, I don't know if you ever heard the story, you know, he used to get really angry because he'd always be asked to play Stairway to Heaven. And he said, "It used to make me boil over because I had new music, I did all of this, but everyone wanted to listen to Stairway to Heaven." And he said, "Then I realized it's not about me." Right?
It's about serving others.
Yes.
What they want.
Yes. And they had grown up with this. They had an emotional attachment to it because it represented events in their lives that were positive and they just wanted to experience that. And so he was being very selfish by looking through that same lens. And again, this is what we get into. So when you change how you look at the world, It changes everything. And again, this is a choice that each of us can make. Mm.
Wow.
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As a, you know, as someone who's been a doctor and a neuroscientist, neurosurgeon for many years, researching this work for a long time, what is the biggest challenge you face at this season of your life when it comes to manifesting that you still have yet to overcome or are overcoming?
Well, one of the things I learned is not to have attachment. Yeah.
To what?
To anything. And look, it's not perfect, but my point is, and yes, if we'd say, well, what about your child or your wife and something had, yes, but that being said, the nature of life is disappointments oftentimes. We cause our own suffering by having these attachments, right? And so do I like nice cars? And yeah, I drive a Porsche.
Very luxuries, and yeah, yeah.
And I've worked very hard. I've given immense amounts to other people. I have no bad feeling about those things. But what I can tell you is if all of it goes away tomorrow, it will have no impact on my mental state.
Wow.
And that is the key because you see—
That's freedom.
Yes, and that's exactly right because if you grow up in poverty, what is the thing that binds you or holds you or imprisons you? Money. Mm. Okay? So when I lost everything and then I had this choice of this stock that I could give away to charity or not, I chose to give it away, which was $30 million, but giving it away liberated me. I just didn't care anymore. It no longer imprisoned me, you see. And that is a level, you know, it takes time and work to get to. And, you know, many people— my wife said when I gave all that money, she said— there was an article in the Wall Street Journal, She goes, "I don't mind him giving money away.
I just wish he hadn't given it all away." Now, I'm curious, you know, is it a bad thing for people to want to have material possessions, a nice car, a nice home, you know, a million dollars in their bank account, or nice clothes? Is that a bad thing when they're thinking of manifesting because it's about them?
Well, if that If everything is about you and your narrative is always about you, I think you're gonna live an unhappy life.
Right.
Because you have no purpose or meaning. Right, right. I mean, yes, is it cool to walk around in designer clothes and go to parties and hang out with the whatever? Yeah, sure, there's nothing wrong with that. But when every action in your life is a selfish action towards your needs, then it's a hollow existence. As an example, I tell people, of course, they can't attach to a woman. They have to have the next beautiful woman, right? And their whole thing is being seen with the beautiful woman. It's not about, I care about this person, I really like her, she's really special. It's, does she have the attributes that make me look good? Or it's, God, I can't go to this event in that car of mine. I need to be in a Ferrari so people look at me, right? And that is a hollow, very selfish existence. Now, I'm sure there are people who are listening going, I'm not that way. Well, you are that way.
Oh, right, sure. And so you're saying you can have it though, but as long as you also have meaning or purpose around your life as well, otherwise it'll be hollow if you just want the material home or the bigger, bigger, bigger thing.
Yeah.
But you can still have it.
Of course, absolutely. I have it. I have no complaints and I work hard and I have no guilt about that whatsoever. But I still do tons of actions that are benefit to a larger goal or mission or to a larger purpose outside of myself.
Yeah.
You talk about these networks and vibrations. You mentioned this, the the physiology of manifesting. I'm curious, is it more important to be thinking a certain intention or certain ideas or beliefs, feeling certain emotions, or physically in a vibration, total body, to help you manifest?
Well, certainly if you can bring it all together, I mean, that's the ideal. But, uh, I think one is Again, we've talked about limited beliefs. Yes. You have to understand what causes you to limit your belief. And in some ways it comes down to self-compassion. When you're kind to yourself, then that changes your own physiology. It shifts you from the fear network.
And critical network into compassion, right?
Yes, exactly. And so I think that's, And again, as an example, I talk about these different networks. There's the default mode network, there's the salience network, the attention network, and the executive control network. Now the reason I mention these is the executive control network actually gets things done, if you want to put it that way. But if you're driven by fear and anxiety and insecurity, then that limits its ability to do so because you don't have full access, because that's where you have productivity and creativity.
Full access to what?
Your entire— your memories and past experiences. This is what the executive control network contains, and it's shut down when you're fearful or anxious. And so that's one aspect. And then, you know, the other aspect, we talk about embedding your intentions. You have to make that thing you want salient.
What does that mean?
It means it has to be something that touches you, that you really feel like it's there with you and you want it. And the reason I bring that up is because salience is, it activates, if you wanna call it, a bloodhound within your head where it looks around for opportunities for you to manifest. I'll give you an example.
Talk about bloodhound, or you're talking about something else?
Uh, not a— they search for things, right? It's a scent, right? Uh, you know, that's what they do for rescue missions, right? Yes, yes, exactly. Uh, so what I mean by that is that if you're able to embed your intention that activates the salience network, which is the bloodhound. And the analogy is as follows. I'm sure you have been to parties and they're loud and your name will be mentioned and you'll immediately turn, even though it's in the loud.
And you're like, where, where is this?
Yeah. But that's because your identity is deeply embedded within you.
Right. Interesting. Yes.
So when you do this in terms of an intention, and I'll give a recent example, I'm working on a new project and I was at a coffee shop and again, loud, everybody talking, but I heard somebody specifically talk about the project type of the thing I'm doing.
Uh-huh.
So I got up and introduced myself. We connected and that's how it works because it creates these synchronicities because it's always turned on listening for opportunities, how it can make your intention happen. And another example is as a neurosurgeon, you know, I would see patients As an example, let's say somebody with hydrocephalus, right? And most people don't know about that. And they'd go, oh my God, I've never heard of that before. Is that rare? Well, it's not that rare. And obviously if you're seeing a neurosurgeon, it's not rare to us. But what will happen is I'll see them in a few months and they'll come in and they're like, the most amazing thing happened. I've run into 5 people with the exact same thing.
Right, right, right.
Because they have embedded that.
Interesting.
And so they're attuned to it. And suddenly it's like it's everywhere set up.
Yeah, you talk about synchronicities in the book. How important is finding and looking for synchronicities when it comes to manifesting?
Well, I think if you do it correctly, they naturally occur over and over again. And you may think they're shocking and how did that happen? But that's because you have made your intention salient, it has grasped your attention network, and it is solely focused on having that happen. And once that process occurs, then you engage your executive control network to actually then respond to it.
Interesting. So you set your intention for what you want to create or desire, and then your attention starts to focus on that in the world, in your environment, and you start to see where the synchronicities line up. And then you mentioned this thing called the filing clerk, right?
Yes, yes, exactly. And that relates in some ways. First of all, one of the process which we talked about, you know, having the ability on a conscious level to embed your intention, that is to, we call it value tag, right?
Uh-huh.
Which makes it important.
Rather than tension.
Yes, yes. And so once you value tag that, that becomes important in your subconscious, and then the networks start working together to look for it. Yes. Now, what I will emphasize, and I don't want to, you know, completely poo-poo every article that's been written about manifesting. You know, I mentioned the issues I have with The Secret or other, these self-serving narratives, but the reality is we know that what Wires together, fires together. And my point about that is, number one, you have to work. This isn't like, oh, I thought of it, therefore it should happen. It's like anything, and we talked about it earlier. Everybody's manifesting every day, they just do it very inefficiently, right? So when you do it efficiently, all of these things come together to have it happen. This is why, as an example, what this woman in the magic shop did, and this was before, you know, these ideas sort of were out there, she made me write my list of things I wanted to manifest down. Because again, when you use every sensory organ, then again, you're engaging all of these different things that go into your subconscious. So you write it down. You read it silently, you read it aloud, you look at it, you visualize, and this is what athletes do, they visualize how it's going to play out. They see themselves in that role. And the more and more you do that, the stronger that wiring gets in your brain. And therefore that increases the chance of it happening.
Interesting. So she taught you this, you wrote it down and you started doing these processes.
Oh, I would, really do this like tens of, maybe hundreds of times a day.
Wow.
Over and over and over again.
But it took you a while until you were able, from 12 until you were able to get, you know, a million dollars in the bank and the mansion, the Ferrari. It didn't happen in 4 years, I'm assuming. It probably took 15 or 20 years.
Well, sure, but there was a whole process, right? Because first of all, I had decided to be a doctor in 4th grade, right? And this was based on a a professions day where a doctor came to our class, and I was so impressed by this person that that second I decided to be a doctor because he was kind, he was thoughtful, he answered my question, he appeared interested in what I had to say. And so saying if you're poor and you don't have resources, saying I'm going to be a doctor is easier said than done, sure. And in fact, I did have challenges, but I'll tell you a couple stories though that tells you how the system works even though you haven't done all the typical things to make it work.
Okay.
And so, uh, I'll tell you how I got into medical school and how I got into college. I was so clueless about college even though I said I was going to go to college. I was in a science class and there was a girl sitting next to me and she was filling out her college application. I had no clue about that.
You had to apply or—
Yeah, I was waiting till I go, what was that?
Sure, sure.
So I looked at this girl, I asked her what she was doing. She says, well, I'm applying to college and this is the application. I said, really? And she looks at me, she said, yeah. And I said, well, where are you applying to? And she said, UC Irvine. And she looked at me and she said, where are you applied? I said, "You see Irma?" Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Now the process. I haven't got my application yet. She said, "I have an extra one." Wow.
There you go. And then—
Yeah. And I filled that out and, you know, I got in. But—
Isn't that interesting before you go on there? Because, you know, you were given the opportunity that you saw that was in front of you. You didn't think beyond other schools. You saw something. You didn't know another process. Said, yeah, I'm going to go there as well. And she said, here's the application. You filled it out, you got in, and you went there, right?
Yeah, no, and that's my point is it was in there. I didn't know how it was going to play out, but it played out, and it certainly wasn't the typical way.
Process. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
So then what happened is I had a lot of struggles. I had to leave college multiple times, as an example, to get my father out of jail or to deal with my mother who attempted suicide, which are not pleasant. No, not enjoyable. And so when I applied to medical school, the average GPA to get into medical school was 3.79 at that time, which is, you know, out of 4, that's like an A minus.
Yeah, sure.
My GPA then was 2.53.
Wow.
And I was not—
you and me both. Let's go.
Yeah. And I was not going to graduate from college.
All right.
And so I went to the pre-med, and, and of course, as you know, when you have all these quote-unquote friends and you say, I want to be a doctor. And, you know, many of my friends were pre-med and they were the type of pre-meds who had 3.7.
Sure, sure.
And, you know, it was very hurtful because they say, you're never going to be a doctor. That GPA, what a joke, right? Which, you know, this is your dream, right?
It's painful.
So anyway, I went to— we used to have to— or you used to have to have an interview with the pre-med committee. So you had to go get an appointment and then they would write a letter of recommendation for you. So I went to the office, I asked the secretary, I said, "I wanna make an appointment for my pre-med letter." She looked at me, she said, "I'm not gonna give you an appointment." I said, "Well, why?" You know, she had pulled out my file. She said, "Because it's a waste of everyone's time." Oh man. Now can you imagine a human being telling you that you're a waste of their time. I mean, how hurtful. Very. But I looked at the woman and I said, you know, I appreciate what you're saying, but I said, I am not leaving here until you give me that appointment. Wow. I said, if you want to call security, that's fine, but I am not leaving. So she did. But imagine, so it comes time for my appointment. Now, do you remember these photos we've seen of Putin sitting at one end of a table? He's by himself.
Yes, yes.
So I go into this room And I'm at one end of this long table, and I'm, what, 20 years old maybe? And then there are these 3 people at the other end of the table, and the guy in the middle, he has my file, and he looks at me, says, he takes the file, lifts it up, throws it on the table, and he says, "Say what you have to say so we can get this over with." Really? Oh yeah.
Oh my goodness.
And you sit there, and you know, how intimidating, and what a jerk, right? So what happened is I looked at the guy and I said, I am not going to let you turn me into a grade point average. I'm a human being.
Wow.
So I proceeded to lecture them for about 20 minutes.
Oh my goodness.
They were all crying at the end. Because once you show your humanity, they can't turn away from you. They can't objectify you. If you're right there in front of them and force them to look at you. Wow. And so what happened is they ended up actually giving me the highest letter of recommendation. Wow. And as I was leaving, that secretary actually was in the room. She said, listen, I want you to take this. And it was a trifold brochure for a summer enrichment program at Tulane University in New Orleans for socioeconomically disadvantaged students and minority students. And she looked at me and she said, you know, I have to tell you something though. The deadline has passed, but I don't think that will impact you.
Wow. Right, right, right.
So I called the lady and she let me into the program and I applied to one medical school and got into one medical school.
Wow.
And I didn't have a degree.
Wow.
Now to show you though, the importance of this, is that after Hurricane Katrina, the dean of the medical school went into depression and resigned, okay? And so they were looking for a new dean.
At Tulane.
At Tulane. And they had a guy from Harvard, but he wanted an endowed chair. And I don't know if you're familiar with an endowed chair. So an endowed chair is a private donor donates a lot of money and it is a chair named after that person. It's one of the highest honors in academic medicine. Okay. Or in the university. And that money is made into an endowment. So then the professor then gets to use it for whatever they want.
Interesting.
So it's a very prestigious thing. So I actually ended up endowing the dean's chair. You know, fast forward many years. Sure, sure, wow. Yeah, which was several million dollars.
Interesting.
So still at Tulane, the dean of the medical school is the Doty professor. Wow. I rebuilt the library after Hurricane Katrina. And so the point of the story is no one has the ability to tell you what you can and cannot do. And in theory, by every quote criteria, I should never have gotten into medical school. Right? Yet I'm one of the largest donors to the medical school, and in fact, they're actually building a Doty Center for Compassion and Medicine at Tulane.
That's cool.
Yeah. So when we think that things are impossible, when we think that it can't happen, or I don't have the criteria that is usually, don't ever believe anything anyone tells you. If I believed what so many people told me was not possible for me to do, I would never have accomplished anything. And again, it gets back to this limiting your beliefs. Once you unleash this understanding of the power you have, then you can do almost anything.
Yes.
You just have to believe.
Absolutely. I love this story because, you know, you mentioned don't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do. I guess the challenge is so many people do believe what others say about them. You know, they do receive the criticism or the limits that others talk about, and a lot of people hold on to those conversations and believe them as truth. And I, The thing is, I feel like there's only one person, like you said, that can agree with the limits or disagree with those limits, and that is ourselves. And at the same time, you know, everyone can tell you, you have all the skills, all the tools, all the potential, all the ability to do something great. But if you don't believe it, it's not going to matter as much. Even if everyone in the world has said, we believe in you, you're incredible. If we are limiting ourselves from receiving those words and receiving that understanding and identity, we won't accomplish what we want or we won't create the lives we want. So how do we overcome ourselves, uh, from the conversations and the critics in our own mind and also the conversations from others, whether they're positive or negative? How do we overcome it and believe we are capable?
Well, first off, I would say that A lot of people, you'll hear, let's say, a statement I made and they'll sit there and go, okay, I'm going to do this tomorrow. I'm going to do everything. Okay, I'm going to get into shape and I'm going to run 10 miles and then I'm going to study for this. And the problem is that's the worst thing you can do. And in fact, I'm sure you probably know BJ Fogg. He wrote this book, Tiny Habits. But he and I were having a conversation recently. You have to start slow. Okay, pick one simple thing. To show that you have the power, right? And it could be something as simple as, I'm gonna get up at 6 in the morning and walk around the block. And you just do that. Because what happens is now you're changing your belief system. You're saying, I set this goal and I was able to do it and I do it every day now.
Right.
Then it can be a little longer and et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, until suddenly you're running a marathon when before you could barely get up and walk around the block. And I think that's really the key, is start small, congratulate yourself for small wins and accept that, and then let that sink in and then just do another thing. And it's a slow process. Nothing happens overnight. And again, if you think, well, it's gonna happen and it's all gonna be perfect tomorrow, That's not how it works. And, you know, obviously in my own life, you know, this has taken decades. And, you know, I think hopefully what this book does, though, it allows you to see the world in a different way, to use the techniques that are outlined there, to not have to go through the pain and suffering, right, that I and others have gone through. And it gives you some insights, some tools. And again, And I'm sure you've experienced, you'll get like a book sometimes go, that is what I was missing.
Yes.
This is what, you know, I need. And what I've tried to do is both by showing you the science behind it, but also intertwining stories like I mentioned the one about Jim Carrey. And I've also included actually individuals who I have interacted with in my own life who've had these profound changes. Based on having a different perception of who they are and the power they have.
Yes. There's a part in the book where you talked about tapping into flow states. I think you even said like the placebo. Yes. And something else. And hypnosis. And hypnosis. So how do we tap into flow states, placebo effect, and hypnosis to start to manifest better?
So one of the points of those examples is to show that actually very simply you can get there without anything, right? I mean, hypnosis, you can, and you can do self-hypnosis, of course, but I'm sure most of the listeners are thinking of the guy who comes in and goes like this, guys.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right? But that is how fast if you train yourself to get access, and I talk about monks, and I talk about Wim Hof, you know, these people, access the power they have within, and it takes practice and diligence.
Yes.
But the same processes are similar to hypnosis and the placebo effect. And the interesting thing about the placebo effect is that you can even know it's a placebo and it will still have the same effect.
And it still gets results.
Yes, yes. And so, and also, if you think about exercising, a particular muscle group, your muscles will increase without you doing anything.
Wow, that's crazy.
You see, but this is the power because the brain doesn't know the difference between what you're thinking and reality, right? So if you embed it in there, now that's not to say your muscles are gonna get as big as an Olympic weightlifter, but they do increase in mass. And so getting access to these things within you that you don't appreciate is very, very powerful. And you talk about the flow state, You know, this is a state of being where everything aligns, right?
Yes.
And that's where we want to be. We're, we're not paying attention to time. We're not paying attention to externalities. We're just doing it. Now, again, you don't want it to turn into, I've ignored everything in my life to get to that goal, but you want to live in a way in which things naturally come and you're living it. And it's a process that's all working together for you to manifest your goals.
Wow. That's beautiful. What is the most recent research about the placebo and how can we use that science or data to impact our lives positively?
Well, again, it— and the weird thing about it is you don't even have to believe it, it will happen. Wow. Now, if you believe it's the real thing, it'll probably be more powerful.
A little better, yeah, yeah.
But But again, it's embedding this belief into your head. And that, and you know, there's a 6-week program in the book, but it gives you a step-by-step way to do that. And again, it's not one and done. You have to do the work. You know, although I say the universe doesn't give a fuck about you, I also would say God only helps those who help themselves, right? And you know, when I make that statement, At the end of the book, basically my statement is, you are the universe, right? You are the power that decides. And again, it's understanding how much power you have within yourself. You know, there's a— we're talking about people getting stuck in things. You know, sometimes you cannot predict what's going to happen to you, but there's this attitude, it's called dispositional optimism. I don't know if you recall reading that, but it's understanding that things don't work on our timeline and having a constant state of an optimistic view of the world. Again, that aligns you because it keeps you in this constant state of engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system. And again, if you can live in that state and look through the world through that lens, your physiology is going to be at its best, your longevity is going to be increased, you're going to be much happier in terms of purpose and meaning in your life. You know, nothing, or at least I can't imagine nothing worse than, you know, being a crotchety old man still chasing 20-year-old women, having 3 or 4 Ferraris.— and actually it reminds me, I'll tell you a funny story. I was in Aspen giving a talk and one of the benefactors was an 80-year-old fellow, a widower who survived the Holocaust. Wow. And so he invites everyone up to his house. So, you know, you pull up to this huge mansion that's, you know, $20, $30 million.
Right. In Aspen.
In Aspen, yeah, yeah, you know, one of his multiple.
Sure.
So I go in there and, you know, I've been one of the main speakers. So he comes up to me and starts talking and, uh, you know, he looks at my watch and he says, see this? He points to his watch. Million dollars.
Jeez.
And I'm like, who cares?
Yeah, yeah, who cares?
And he says, come here. And I said, okay. So he takes me out to his garage and again Tons of cars. Yeah, yeah. And I'm looking at him and then he starts saying, you know, I've never been happy. And I said, okay. And he goes, you know, he tells me about actually his tragic Holocaust experience and how he married this woman, but he was never in love or passionate, et cetera, et cetera. And he said, you know, I'm miserable. I'd do anything to be happy.
Wow.
Okay. And I said, okay. And he says, can you do anything for me? And I said, yeah, I can. I said, if you spend 10 hours with me, I will give you that gift. So he says, really? And I say, yeah. He says, well, how much will it cost? And I said, it'll cost $100,000 an hour. Okay. He looks at me, says, 500,000.
An hour total?
No, total. Well, it was— yeah, it was one and a half. And I said, no, it doesn't work that way. Yeah, it's a million dollars, and I'm guaranteeing you, guaranteeing you.
Wow.
And, and, uh, so his, his, uh, daughter is there, and she overhears our talk, and she comes over and she says, Papa, you know, this is like a neuroscientist. He studies this. You should do this. And he looks at her and he says, foolish girl, you don't know anything about money. And he says, I have to save this money for you. And she looks at him and she goes, I have everything I need. I don't need anything. And she goes, do it. And he goes, no, no, no, you're foolish. And my point is, here was an opportunity for him to learn something, to get what he said he absolutely wanted. Yet his own selfish self-interest and drive—
Wow.
—overpowered anything to actually give him what he wanted. Wow. Interesting. Yeah.
Yeah, well, he had a belief. He had an identity around what he thought he needed to hold on to, which was more money. Yeah. Yeah.
And— But that was what always was making him happy or unhappy his whole life. Exactly.
But it gave him a sense of false security or status or influence or power or something.
Well, unfortunately though, you know, there are people like that, but the reality is all the people around them are laughing at them.
Yeah. And then they're making the people around them more miserable, probably.
Oh yeah. Well, because they have to win, right? Million dollars. Wow. That's to one-up everyone else. Yeah. And that's a very classic thing. In fact, I'm not being critical of Warren Buffett, But, you know, I mean, there's a story that his wife wrote that said, you know, he was never interested in the money, he was interested in winning.
The game, yeah, the game of winning, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Right, right, and, you know, it's not always about winning sometimes, it's about caring for others, understanding people, being of service. You know, imagine somebody who has that degree of wealth, what he could have done to, let's say, fund an orphanage or help the people who can't afford food in Aspen. Right. Right. And it would have been a minuscule amount. So small compared to what he actually had.
Yeah.
Yeah. Wow.
This idea of identity, you know, we start to build our identity as children and our teens and our 20s. How do we start to identify what our identity actually is and how it is empowering us or disempowering us in this pursuit of manifesting.
Well, the problem is for many people is that they have bonding and attachment issues that have been imprinted on them.
Yeah, and ancient, anxious, or avoidant attached, or—
yeah, yeah. And so they don't appreciate, you know, look, when you're growing up and, you know, 7 or 8 years old, you're not understanding this. Yes. But these types of connections, you know, they get deeply embedded and you carry it with you. And so one is you have to make the effort to understand. As an example, I'm sure some of the listeners go, oh, well, now I have a little idea because I keep choosing this jerk to be a partner with. Well, why do I do that? And you have to sort of go backwards and self-reflect. Yeah, yeah. You know, I was giving a talk one time and there was a woman She raised her hand. We were talking about this exact issue and she started crying. And she said, "My father, when I was a kid, told me I would be nothing." Wow.
So sad.
Yeah, it's horrible. And this is what people need to understand. Words matter to children. And so the woman said, you know, My whole life I've spent trying to be something. Wow. You know, she said, I became a nurse, I got a PhD. You know, she's a senior executive at a hospital chain, right? She's doing extraordinarily well. And her whole life has been trying to overcome that baggage. And imagine the difference though, if her father said, you know, you are amazing. You can do anything you want. I am so proud of you. I envision you doing incredible things. And how the 30 years of her life, or whatever it's been, 40 years, would have been one of love and connection and feeling worthy versus every day waking up, being repeating, I was told I would be nothing.
Wow. Yeah. I guess there's a question within that. Is if you are given all the love and empowering affirmations and words from your parents that you can do and be what you want to be versus you don't have what it takes, you're never going to amount to anything, you disappoint me, you need to do better. Which one drives the person to create bigger or better results or impact? You know, because she has lived a life of impact, but it's from a place of lack, right? Sure. Would she be as driven to grow and expand and reach beyond what she felt she was capable of if she had all the love in the world?
I guess that's the question. Well, uh, of course in that case we can't specifically answer that, but, uh, yeah, there's no question that, you know, I used to have a coach when I was a rower crew. Okay. And I used to have a coach who just scream at me all day. That's the worst. Yeah, it's the worst. Well, and it's exactly— I had that football too. Yeah, that's exactly what we're talking. Did that make you strive and work harder? It just made you feel like the guy's a jerk. I hate the guy. I was looking at fear too. Yes, yes. And, and versus then I had a different coach. The new coach was an extraordinary human being one you would model yourself after. He won the gold medal in the double sculls in Melbourne in '52, I think it was. And, uh, you know, he was like, listen, you know, you need to work on this, but I know when you do this, it's— you're going to excel here. You know, you're doing an amazing job. I can just tell you're really into this. I'm so proud of you, right? It's more fun too. Yeah, of course. So can you get A similar result, yeah, but it's like, you know, somebody putting a backpack to keep stabbing you in the back your whole life saying, "Get going, get going," versus somebody who's hugging you and embracing you and tell you how much they love you. Yes, you can do incredible results from horribly mean people, but that's not a long-term strategy. Yeah, and it's not a healthy life.
No. You know, there's probably a lot of stress and anxiety and chronic pain that you're carrying with that energy, with that vibration, which you talk about in the book, the vibration. And when we can get into flow state, we're able to really create more abundance and in a harmonious way, not in a hard way of grinding constantly to accomplish and then feel exhausted when we get to the top.
Yeah. And so then instead of having accomplished that and going, that son of a bitch, I showed you, you're sitting there, God, I'm happy to have— God, it felt so good. And I I'm just so happy I was able to do this. It's a completely different way, and I would hope that people want the other way where it's one of positivity and encouragement, not somebody driving you. And this is one of the problems in corporate America, right? You have bosses who think that creating fear motivates, and it does on some level to a point. You know, there's a great story about a fellow— what was his name? Carnes, I can't remember, I think it was Jeffrey Carnes. He was an Australian, but he gives an example which is quite interesting. He said, we did a 360 review in our company. I'm sure you're familiar with that, right? They checked out everybody. He said, you know, they came to me to share the results with me. He's telling us why this. He said, they came to share the results with me. They told me in their entire history of doing this, I was the worst CEO they had ever met. Wow. And he said, they told me my employees fear me and that I was creating an environment that was unhealthy, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he says this to his wife and she goes, he says to her, so what do you think of that? Can you believe that? I'm thinking of firing them. And she goes, why would you do that? They're absolutely correct. And he goes, what? And she said, I have been telling you this for 20 years and you have not listened to me. Wow. Said, you need to sit back and reflect on this. So he went through a 2-year analysis with therapy and actually ended up meeting a Buddhist monk and got into a meditation practice. So they did a reevaluation a few years later. And now, you know, they had like one of the highest retention rates, one of the highest productivity rates, one of the highest shareholder values from leading through compassion, thoughtfulness, kindness as a motivator versus fear as a motivator. Wow, that's beautiful.
One of the things, you know, you give this 6-step process and one of the things in step 6, it's about releasing these expectations. And being open to magic, being open to the wonders, the mysteries of the world, when things will come to you, maybe it's different than what you originally wanted, all these different things. Why is it important to manifest by not being attached to the results that you desire and being open to magic at the same time?
You know, one of the challenges is that, and it gets back to attachment, because Once you are attached to something, you have a vision of how it has to be. Right. And then that creates potential disappointment. And the nature of manifesting is it doesn't turn out exactly the way you want. Because what you may not appreciate is that there are other factors which are competing here. And sometimes, You may not appreciate it, but on an unconscious level, the right decision is being made. On a conscious level, it's not what you thought it was, and therefore you resist it. Uh-huh. And that creates unhappiness. Yes. The other thing is the same as having a timeline, like it has to happen by this day. It doesn't work that way. As an example, I have been planning a World Compassion Festival, which is a huge event, right? For 13 years. Do I, am I disappointed? No. It hasn't happened yet. It hasn't happened yet, but it will happen. And this is also dispositional optimism. I have an absolute belief that that will happen. And in fact, I mentioned a little earlier, I was with Kailash Satiyarthi, who's a Nobel Peace Laureate. Lewis Howes yesterday, and we were talking about this World Compassion Festival, so just came up. He said, well, why don't we join forces and make this happen?
That's cool.
Right? So, you know, it's a process and it has not worked in any way the timeline I had imagined, but I do not, I'm not disappointed or don't believe it's going to happen. Otherwise, I would sit there and go, I'm a failure. You know, this should have happened 10 years ago. Why didn't it happen? You know, it's just like everything else I do, I'm a loser, right? Versus saying it will happen, it's sitting there, the things have not all come together to allow it to happen. And even if it doesn't happen the exact way I envision it, if it happens, it's an extraordinary thing. And so I think you have to look at it that way. Otherwise you're creating unhappiness for yourself. Of course. And why do that? And again, life doesn't work that way. It's like, as an example, sitting there saying, I want to manifest this beautiful woman. She has these attributes, da da da. Then this exact, and you're visualizing her as a blonde. And then this dark-haired woman comes in who has every one of those things. Go, oh, get out of here. You're not a blonde. Yeah, yeah, right? Yeah. So it doesn't always work the way you want.
What would you say is, you know, something that we should think about or do first thing in the morning to set us up for a daily rhythm of manifesting? Is there a mantra? Is there a process? Is there a way of thinking, a way of feeling, a way of acting? Is there something we should believe right when we wake up or in the morning?
Well, uh, what I do may not work for everybody. Sure. And everybody has a different biology. They have a different way of seeing the world. Now, I'll tell you what I do to center me in the morning, and, uh, uh, but it sets the stage to manifest. And what I mean by that is, I was talking about having a mental state of being of service to others, right? So My practice every morning is I wake up and I say every morning, that's a lie. It is not every morning. It's most mornings. Sure. You know, it's funny. I don't know if you ever saw it. You know, Deepak Chopra's son did a movie about him. Uh-huh. And Gotham. Yes. Gotham Chopra. I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it showed him like, you know, Dad should be meditating. He goes and he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know Deepak actually. But anyway, What I do is I sit up in bed and I do a breathing exercise because as you know, that will shift you over to engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system, which is the rest and digest mode. It makes you open, it makes you thoughtful, it makes you more creative. And then I think of the awe and joy in this world. And there's a great book about awe by Dacher Keltner. I don't know if you know Dacher. But yeah, so, you know, that sets the stage of this seeing the world through this lens of this incredible awe of being in this world and the joy of being able to interact in this world. And then I go through a 10-letter mantra. And this actually developed when I was asked to, which was an incredible honor to me, by my medical school to give the white coat ceremony lecture to the incoming medical students. So imagine the guy who should never— Right, right. —give this very prestigious lecture. Wow. But what I wanted to do was I wanted to inspire these students through something that was simple and easy to remember but would center them in their lives going forward. Not only as a doctor but as the human being. So it was 10 letters of the alphabet. It was C, compassion for self and others. D, recognizing the dignity of every person. E, practicing equanimity. And this is this idea of evenness of temperament. You know, we were talking about chasing goals and having attachment. You know, it's great to achieve a goal. It's great to have that high that you get when you achieve it. It's wonderful. It's amazing. But it's transitory. Sure. And you can't live at that state all the time. Conversely, having disappointments, having things fail, losing at things, as horrible and as painful as they are, they're also transitory. So having this evenness and temperament and not getting lost on the extremes is very, very important. Plus the other thing is if you reflect on it, what teaches you the most. It's not the highs, it's the disappointments, the challenges, the things you've had to overcome, and that makes you who you are. Yes. And creates resilience. And so somehow thinking you're going to avoid those, number one, it's not healthy, but that's where so much teaching comes from. The other, of course, is forgiveness. And we know that when you carry emotions attached to an event or to a person, every time you think of that event or that person, it negatively affects you. Interesting. So when you're able to not carry that baggage and release it— and that's not to forget what somebody did to you or that, it's just to understand that carrying those memories is not healthy for you— then you're released again. And of course, one of the most powerful things, and I think it's really important, is having gratitude. And there's an immense amount of research that demonstrates having a gratitude journal or in the evenings writing 3 things that you are thankful for. Because what people forget is, in fact, probably everyone listening to this podcast, you don't appreciate that half of the world's population lives on less than $2.50 a day. Crazy, isn't it? It's horrible. And when you look at your life, you are actually blessed. It's funny, as a neurosurgeon, you know, I've had situations where, let's say, somebody will have an accident, become paraplegic, and of course they say, "This is horrible, my life is ruined." I say, "Look, I'm gonna take you in the room next door with the guy who's a ventilator-dependent quadriplegic." Can't move anything. Yes, and is on a breathing tube and nothing. And then they say, "Oh." Right? So it's about perspective. It's about perspective. And this is the thing is you have the choice of the perspective you look at the world through. Yes. Let's see, we were at gratitude. H, humility. Now I will assure you for a neurosurgeon, humility is one of the challenges.
You gotta stay humble when you think you got it. Exactly.
Well, being a neurosurgeon is still one of the, professions in medicine that's still nominally highly respected. But anyway, humility, understanding you're no more important than anyone else. And I is integrity and values that bound your behavior. And if you want to call them rules to live by, J is a recognition of justice, meaning that we have a responsibility for caring for those who are vulnerable. K is simply being kind to others. It has nothing to do with suffering. Compassion has, by definition, a recognition of suffering with a motivational desire to alleviate that. So kindness is simply just being a good person. And of course, what contains all of this, and that's love. That's true. So that was my part of my lecture for my, uh, the white coat ceremony. And that's the— what I use every day of my own life. Now I'll tell you an interesting story about that. I gave that lecture, and a month or two later, uh, and I think it was put on YouTube or something, but a month or two later, a woman reached out to me and she said, uh, uh, I heard that lecture, I read your book, which I talk about it in my first book, into the magic shop and she said, "I'm the spiritual director of the largest homeless shelter in the United States. I'm a person of faith. My friends had sent me all of the scripture, but I was burned out at my job and I couldn't do it anymore and I had resigned." She said, "I read your book, I heard that talk, it gave me the strength to return to work," which I'm like, oh my God, that's beautiful, right? So then a month later, she sends me another email and she says, you know, I have to tell you the story. I was telling my best friend about this and she has a daughter named Ginny and Ginny is 12 and she makes beads. And Ginny made a set of 10 wooden beads that each one represents one of those letters of the alphabet. And she added a golden bead to represent the Golden Rule. Would you mind if we sold these to support the homeless shelter and we have a peace center there? And I said, Absolutely. A few months later, she sends me another. She's like this stalker. She sends me another, and she says, you know, uh, this has been so powerful, I went ahead and I created a YouTube video. Can I post it? And it shows this little girl making these beads with beautiful music, and she's talking about this practice. And she then posted that. And long story short, her and I became friends. I ended up going down to the homeless shelter and touring it and giving a talk in the church or a sermon, as you will, even though I'm not particularly religious. And then she has two heroes in this world. One is the Dalai Lama and the other is Desmond Tutu, when he was alive. So as I think you know, I used to be chairman of the Dalai Lama Foundation. He's the founding benefactor of the center I run at Stanford. I said, listen, I'm hosting the Dalai Lama. I want to invite you to come and I want to introduce you to him. Wow. And she was going, oh my God, that's incredible. She says, but you know, unfortunately I make very little money and I can't really afford it. I said, well, listen, I'm going to hire you as a consultant and bring a bunch of beads with you. And I did do that. And we had these beads blessed by His Holiness. Wow. And she got to meet her hero. So fast forward a few years later, I was friends with Tutu, so I was down in Cape Town at his 80th birthday party. So during his 85th, they invited me to come down again to his birthday, and I was in Oslo, and I called, I said, listen, you need to do me a favor. I said, I want you to go to Cape Town in my place. Wow. And me too, too. And while on the one hand, obviously it cost something to do that, in the big scope of my world, that was irrelevant. My, right. But for her— It was the world. Exactly. Wow. And you see, that epitomizes what every one of us can do. To simply do a simple act —Yeah. —And it can be saying hello. It can be holding the door open. It can be sitting with somebody. It can be buying a homeless person a meal. And the thing is, the benefit you get from this is so, so powerful. You know, His Holiness says, if you want to make others happy, be compassionate. If you want to be happy, be compassionate.
Well, if you want to make others happy, be compassionate. If you want to be happy, be compassionate.
Yeah, because we know when you are care, when you're compassionate, it has a very positive effect on your physiology because you get shifted over to engagement of your parasympathetic nervous system. Your cardiac function's improved, your peripheral vascular function's improved, the expression of inflammatory proteins is diminished, your immune system's boosted. Your cortisol levels are decreased, and so there's a whole cascade of events. And plus, when you're kind and compassionate, your reward and pleasure centers are stimulated. Wow. You know, who wouldn't want to be that way? And that's what, you know, people forget sometimes.
Wow. And most people forget to be compassionate towards themselves the most.
Oh, well, and that's the key of what we're talking about.
Absolutely. Mind Magic: The Neuroscience of Manifestation and How It Changes Everything. This is extremely powerful. I want everyone to get a copy of this book. Get one for a friend as well. I've got a couple final questions for you, James, before we wrap up. But before I ask them, where can we send people to? Do you have a website we should send people to, or just go on Amazon and get the book?
I think there are many places besides Amazon. Sure, sure. You can get books. Certainly I'm a proponent of supporting independent bookstores, but It is on Amazon. You can also publish or purchase it from Penguin Random House if you use my name and the book title. But it's pretty much anywhere. Anywhere. It can be sold.
And do you have a website as well where we can share in touch with you or connect?
Yeah, it's jamesrdotymd.com. And all of my work is there. The other book I mentioned briefly was Into the Magic Shop, which was a New York Times bestseller. It's in 36 languages. Also, the center I run at Stanford is there, and certainly people can go there, and we offer courses on self-compassion and compassion, as well as even corporate programs and programs for first responders, police officers, and things like that. That's very cool. And that's at ccare.stanford.edu. Okay. And actually, another project that I'm actually very excited about is for the last couple years I've been working on creating a mental health app. Mm-hmm. And because so many people are suffering from stress, anxiety, lack of self-compassion. And the interesting thing about it is because especially adolescents, so many are suffering that there are not even enough therapists to take care of all those people. But the reality is most people are suffering from just living in the modern world. It's not drug-resistant depression. It's just the stress and anxiety of living in the modern world. Because as we're talking about with the Blue Zones, we're far different in the modern world. So what it does is it utilizes an emotion assessment engine to analyze facial expression, voice analysis, and context of speech. Connected to a conversational AI knowledge base of compassion-focused therapy and psychology, which is then hooked up to a human avatar who talks to you.
Wow, that's cool.
And what we know is that having brief conversation, like 10 minutes, when somebody is feeling stressed and anxious, the very nature of a conversation can significantly decrease those feelings. Wow. And what's interesting is so many people are afraid of being judged. They feel ashamed, yes. So being able to talk actually to an avatar who is compassionate, empathetic, non-judgmental, accepting is very powerful. Now, this isn't to separate you from people. What it is is to support you so that you can go forward and actually have better connections. And it's available 24/7, unlike your therapist, which, as you know, I should say, I don't know, maybe you don't have a therapist, but most people out there. Sure. But you know, you call after 5 o'clock and they go, if this is a life-threatening emergency, please call 911. Well, if you're stressed and anxious, that's really not the thing you want to hear. But anyway, that company is called Happi, H-A-P-P-I, .ai. Yeah, I'm very excited about that.
That's cool. When's that coming out?
Actually, people can sign up now for free. Okay, cool. We're letting people use it just to get input from them. Yeah. And certainly if people try it, please drop me a note. And that's cool because we're trying to, of course, improve it. But it's pretty amazing the type of conversations you can have. Even, I mean, I've been like, wow, that's cool. Amazing. That's cool.
Happy, H-A-P-P-I, .ai. Check that out as well. Couple final questions for you, James. Uh, one of them is called the Three Truths question. It's a hypothetical scenario. Imagine you get to live as long as you want and you get to keep creating and manifesting and serving humanity the way you want to do it. Uh, and everything that you desire, you manifest until the day you die. But for whatever reason, on the last day in this world, you have to take all of your work with you. So this book we don't have access to, this conversation is no longer around, everything you've created, it's for whatever reason gone somewhere else. We don't have access. It's a hypothetical scenario in question, but if it was the last day, many years away, and you could only leave behind 3 lessons to the world, and this is all we have of your information, your content, what would those 3 truths be for you that you would share?
Believe in yourself. Care for others. Be kind to yourself. Mm-hmm.
Before I ask the final question, James, I want to acknowledge you for the consistent contribution you make on the world. I think this topic is extremely interesting for so many people because a lot of people are suffering and they want to have a better life. But they don't know how to create the life. So bringing neuroscience research and your own practical lessons into this work, sharing it here for people for free, creating it in a, in a book people can follow with a program, uh, and everything else you're sharing with the world. I just really acknowledge you for the contribution you are making currently on humanity, and I'm grateful for the wisdom and the lessons that you share. So I wanted to share that with you.
Well, thank you. I appreciate that. That's very kind. Yeah, you're welcome.
And my final question for you, James, is what is your definition of greatness?
Being authentic, understanding yourself, and caring for others. There you go.
Mind magic. Thank you, James. Appreciate it. Desire plus non-resistance equals desired result. So whatever your desire is, if you want to make more money, if you want to heal your chronic health condition, if you want to find your soulmate, it doesn't matter what it is. You can become psychologically and emotionally non-resistant to the desire 100% of the time consistently.
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