This is a YouTube video titled "The Skill Can Transform Your Life..." containing a conversation recorded on May 26, 2025, featuring Lewis AI and another speaker discussing the importance of validation skills in therapy and real life, particularly in the context of Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) and its impact on patient trust and treatment effectiveness.
What's one skill that people could use in the real world to help them transform their life?
Validation. So I, and validation is a set of skills really. So you learn as a clinician, you're trained in these skills to help you communicate acceptance, to help you help another person feel seen and heard. It's very important if you wanna get people to listen to you and to collaborate with you, and to work with you. And there's a science to this. Like this is, we've researched what is the most effective way, how can you signal acceptance? And as therapists, you're trained in this method. These specific skills were developed for a treatment called Dialectical Behavior Therapy, DBT, which is a specific treatment for folks who have a condition known as borderline personality disorder. Okay? often characterized by self-harm and suicidal behavior. So serious stuff. But here's the thing. I found myself, however old I was, getting my PhD in psychology, studying this very specific treatment, and finally being introduced to these skills that I'm thinking, why isn't this in grade school? Like, why aren't these, why aren't these skills taught in, you know, K through five? Why am I just hearing about this now? And, like, this is the path it took for me to get this information. And I mean, not only was it immediately apparent that these skills, patients and improved, you know, were critical to doing therapy well.
Is this you learning how to validate patients?
Me learning how to validate patients.
Because if you don't validate a patient, they're not going to trust and believe you what you're saying. They're going to feel unseen, unheard, like you don't understand them. So I'm just going to keep living in this world of No one gets me, even my therapist doesn't understand me.
Of course, yeah.
So why would I trust and listen to what they're saying and take action on the tools that you're sharing with me?
That's right.
Interesting.
It's even a little further than that. So prior to DBT, we had this real focus in psychology on change. Everything was, you know, behaviorism, cognitive behaviorism, which focuses on changing your behavior, changing your thoughts. and that's great for folks who are change focused, believe in their capacity for change, and are willing to do what you suggest. Okay? If you've ever raised an adolescent or just been in a relationship with somebody where you feel like nothing's working, you know that feeling of like, there are times when that approach just doesn't work. And so for the longest time, we didn't have treatments that worked. for folks who were what we called treatment resistant. And the discovery, the fascinating insight was that if you want to help people make profound changes, you need to help them feel deeply accepted.
