The Spiritual Guide: ATTRACT Your Ideal Relationship & Create Healthy, Lasting Love!

What I want to share is if you are out there and you are really looking for your life's partner, I'm gonna tell you everything that I did, okay?

Yes.

Number one, business strategist turned life coach.

Danny MoraL has guided millions, literally millions of people to heal and transform their lives. Danny MoraL, the crowd goes wild.

You have to be willing to let go of the parts of yourself that need a partner.

Mmm, that's big.

You want A real, soul connected relationship, get ready to deal with your deepest, darkest of your life. Because a relationship is the greatest medicine that you can have in your life.

Where do you think the biggest problem is for most people today in getting into a relationship or being in an unhealthy relationship?

I'm gonna leave you like this. If you get this, you'll heal your relationship. But this takes immense amount of courage.

What is the thing that blocked you the most then, from having the love you wanted? And what is the thing that blocks most people from having the love they want in intimacy?

I will tell you, and this has been a deep part of my journey. When I was in my teens, I can remember only thinking about one thing and that was getting married.

Really?

Yeah, man.

You wanted to get married. You didn't want to just have a girlfriend or like hook up with girls.

Or you were just- you- found the one.

Why?

I'll tell you why. I was that guy that was like, I just, I wasn't the sleep around kind of guy. Like, and I'm sure I did my thing, but more than anything I was.

Looking for- that wasn't your desire.

It wasn't. My desire was was this what you're. What you're talking about, right? And so after I got married and. And through my divorce and through the affair and through that entire process, I went on a three and a half journey of healing myself.

How old were you?

38, 39. Okay, maybe 40. I don't know. And I'll tell you exactly what happened, Louis. Yeah, I'm gonna tell you the exact story. So I always thought that my wife was gonna be from Colombia. Obviously, Colombian women are beautiful, right? And so in that story, I had met someone. I had met someone and I wanted so bad for them to be the one. So bad. I'm sure you've been there as well. Sure.

Right?

And I was trying to force it and I was trying to make it happen. And one day I was speaking to a friend of mine that was a psychic. He had psychic powers. And it was like I was tired of it not working and I wanted him to tell me that she's the one.

Right?

Like just tell me, just tell me, right?

Maybe we're supposed to struggle. Maybe so.

Yeah, maybe, maybe, you know, your mind sometimes is like the truth is right there, but you're not afraid. You're afraid to look at it, right? And so then he looks at me, he goes, I don't think I need to tell you. I think you know. True story. I'm sitting there, it was during COVID he's looking at me through Zoom, and everything inside of me says, say it, say it, say it. And I said, she's not the one. And Lewis, by that time, we can get into this if you want. I had done enough work with plant medicine to where I understood energy and the way my body works when it's starting to release energy is it starts to shake.

Yeah.

So I immediately start to shake and I'm having a massive ego death. I did not realize how big it was. So I go, I gotta go. I shut the computer down and I'm literally on the floor because all of this trapped energy that I now realize was there since I was a little boy and didn't receive my mom's love, which turned into the teenager that wanted to be married because I was looking for love outside of me. Louis, imagine all of that had been stuck in my body for so long and it's just starting to shake and I'm like, I need to go lay down. So I go lay down, man, and I'm finally, admittedly, like at my wit's end. Because it's like, I've tried to make this relationship thing work and it's just not working. And what is it? What's wrong with me, right? And I literally just asked the question and my body is shaking and I'm doing all of this and I'm like, God, just show me who's the one. Who's the one? Like at that point, I was like helpless basically, right? And my arm literally goes up like this and it points to God. And then I'm not doing this. My body is spirits, whatever, you know. And then my hand goes like this. And I look down and I'm like, I'm the one I've been looking for my whole life. And brother, I started to just cry and cry and just release this story that again, I unconsciously created since I was a boy and I didn't feel my mom's love.

And this was not that long ago.

This was not that long ago.

And you'd been already on a healing journey and you'd been coaching people, you've been helping people, you've been transformed, you've been healed, already. You thought, you know, I've been doing the work.

All of it, man. All of it.

Yeah.

No, this. This was three years ago. Yeah.

Something like that. But you'd already been teaching this work and.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what I'm saying.

Like, you'd already been. It's a lot, right?

Yes. Yes. And maybe in your mind you thought, like, I've got it figured out in some ways. Yeah.

100. That's what I mean. 100. 100. And so then I'm there and I'm crying and I'm crying and I'm crying. And then all of a sudden, Louis. My body, again, not me, my body goes, and I lean over to the side and my hand is right there like this. And it's almost as if God was like, okay, now that you got rid of this, just let me show you what's coming. And all I see is the top of a head, and it was like a light brown hair. It wasn't brunette. which was what I was used to, light brown. And I just got the message, She will finally feel safe with you.

Wow.

Yeah. A couple months later, I'm in a mushroom journey. And at the end of that journey, it is clear the message comes to me and it says, you are about to meet the woman of your dreams. And together you will have a daughter.

Wow.

And that daughter will be the healing culmination of your heart, your mother's heart, and your grandmother's heart. So I get up and I'm like, I'm gonna have a daughter. I'm gonna have a daughter. Right, brother, I don't know how to explain to you. It was the truest thing I had ever- Wow.

Right? and you already have three kids.

I already have three kids. They're telling me, right? Two years later on that very day is when Jen and I, I woke up, it was on my birthday. I was holding a mushroom ceremony on my birthday, which is what I love to do on my birthday, is to give back in that way. Two years later on my birthday, I wake up and Jen is laying there by my side.

Wow. How long did it take until you met her?

Right. So, what I want to share is if you're out there and you are really looking for your life's partner, I'm gonna tell you everything that I did, okay?

Yes.

Number one, you have to be willing to let go of the parts of yourself that need a partner.

Mmm, that's big.

Because if you need a partner, you're not in your heart. You're in your mind. And I like to call it the difference between a mind mate and a soul mate. And trust me, if you are up here, you will find a mind mate. You will find a partner that energetically matches that frequency. and then you'll be stuck in it. And then you'll be 10 years, 13 years down the road like I was, like talking about, oh my God, what do I do now? Right? We'll get to that in a second. That's number one. Number two, if you want to track this, what I'm sharing with you, you also have to be willing to let go of everything that has been causing you to avoid your healing journey. For me, that was two things, alcohol and sex.

Wow, really?

Yeah, because it's what I used to stay disconnected from myself.

Yeah?

Every weekend I used to drink, it's what used to numb my pain. And so I just let it go. I'm not telling you drinking is bad, that's a whole different story. I'm telling you is that for something to be born, something has to die. Don't ever forget that. For something to be born, something has to die. For something new to come, you have to be willing to release the old. This is spiritual, energetic here. This is the real deal.

And if you're holding on to the old things that have been blocking you in previous relationships and you enter a new relationship from that space, what will happen?

You're just gonna keep attracting the same thing.

Yeah. It might feel good for a few months of like, oh, this is different.

Well, it will always feel like that.

They're different. They're not like this.

Yes, absolutely. It will always feel like that. because that's the way human beings and relationships work, right? You get together and it's infatuation is what it is. It is.

Right?

I used to think that infatuation was love.

It's not.

It's not, no. As a matter of fact, infatuation doesn't, love doesn't happen until you let go of infatuation. And you start to realize, and this is the key, Louis, is that we are calling into our lives the partner that not only reflects where we're at energetically, but is the perfect partner that we need in that moment to help us to heal a part of ourselves. Most people that say that they want a relationship, you don't actually want a relationship. You just don't want to be lonely. You want a relationship, a real soul connected relationship. Get ready to deal with your deepest, darkest of your life. Because a relationship is the greatest medicine that you can have in your life. Because I'll give you an example, you're either going to keep Doing this or what? Someone is gonna have to allow, release, surrender, let go, and then hopefully the other person does the same thing. And that's the thing, Louis, is that I don't think people really know what they're asking for when they ask for a relationship.

Yeah, because your life changes forever when you're in a relationship. It transforms.

How did yours? 'Cause I know you're in one now.

Well, I mean, it changed in all the previous relationships. My life, I thought I was getting the relationship to create love, but I think it was more of like chemical reactions, right? It was just like, oh, this chemical bonding. And I didn't have the courage to use my voice to create boundaries or to say really what I wanted or what I didn't like, but I just like gave in to create peace because I didn't have peace in my life. So I would do whatever so that they would stop screaming. That was me.

That was it.

It was like, okay, if you're gonna scream, you don't like something about me.

I want to know. By the way, you like Latinas, right?

Right. So then screaming is part of the job. Well, I had to break the model too, 'cause I found one that doesn't scream. There you go, good job.

I had to tell myself a different story.

By the way, don't hate me and some jokes. It's fine, I'll relax. Relax.

That's the stereotype because it's, you know.

You see it a lot. But can I tell you why? It's from a lot of women. Of course. A lot of women. Yeah, and a lot of the, you know, a lot of parents, A lot of men fathers aren't there for the women, they're not for the girls. And then they grow up very wounded.

And then they're masculine.

That's right.

And very beautiful.

Very, yes, yes.

And seductive, but also kind of very. Well, why seductive? Because they want to attract. Because that's the wounded feminine. The wounded feminine uses seduction to get you. Yeah, to lure you in.

Right, the divine feminine. Yeah, they don't need that.

She's in her power. She's in her power. She doesn't need to use that. She knows who she is.

Exactly.

And then talking about our culture, right? Why do the men drink so much? Because the men are wounded. Because the men were taught as little boys to never tap into their emotions. Because it's a Hispanic macho masculine thing. It's bull is what it is. And then by the way, guess why else they're women? Because the women are taught, the mothers are taught that they have to, Latinas que se quieren tener, you just have to deal with it. 'Cause that's how men are. So then the woman gets taught to not deal with and live in their authentic truth, and then you're there, I know grandmothers. My grandfather, Louis, my grandfather had 13 kids from seven different women.

Oh my gosh, why is that?

Because he was wounded. He was a mess. God bless him, he's gone.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And then my family like honored and revered that.

Really?

Oh, yeah. 'Cause that's that's he's he is the.

He'S the adte Seven different women or kids?

I I remember my high school graduation. I remember it was my grandfather and like, I had, like my cousin' grandmother, my cousins' grandmother, my cousin' grandmother, and my now this is just all just there, and everybody just got along.

They't got along.

It's just how you do life. Is how way they get along, or.

Is it a s?

They really all got along.

But they all loved him or hated him?

I don't know, bro.

I don't know. All I know is it looked like they got along.

Well, all I know is that for me, that just didn't feel right. It just didn't feel right. And I saw my poor grandmother, I love her. She was just so self-sacrificing. For the sake of the family.

She didn't use her voice. No.

She did.

Maybe it was a screaming or whatever. Do this.

Hispanic women show love through food.

Mm-. Yeah, they do. Some do. Yeah, some do.

Yeah. So anyways.

Yeah, yeah. So I got into, you know, I was into relationships based on chemical attraction, not spiritual connection.

Yeah.

And out of a wound of like, wanted to be loved by this person or like, whatever. And that seemed to work out for three to six or nine months. But then it was like things would start unraveling, and then I would get out of the relationship eventually and then kind of just repeat the pattern.

Yeah.

And it was sad. It sucked, man. It was horrible. It was not good. And I would always look for love in a different person or like, okay, maybe they're actually gonna respect, you know, or not scream at me, or they're gonna accept who I am as a person in my career. Might, you know, they're gonna accept me finally. but no one ever did. And I think I didn't accept who I was. And so it wasn't until I learned to accept me and choose me.

That's right.

That then I was able to see Martha, my fiance now, in a way where she always says to me this, she's always like, I wish we'd have met each other 10 years ago, 15 years ago. So we both moved to LA around the same time, but we never met each other. I'm like, I wouldn't have been attracted to you. You weren't wounded enough for me. I was like, I wouldn't have been attracted to you. You were like, you were too, not too good for me, but you were, it's not the energy I was attracted to from a wound. That's right.

And so I would have like seen.

You and I'm sure I would have been sexually attracted in some ways, but I wouldn't have been like, I desire you. Right.

I want you.

Right. 'Cause you'd have been too loving. I don't know, you'd have been too loving. You know what I mean? It's like, and too accepting. Yeah, man.

And I wouldn't have been ready for that. I get that. You know, can I tell you what's interesting? Let me tell you what my story was. Because when I saw Jen, I didn't think I was worthy of her.

Wow.

So Jen is five foot ten. Let's start there. Yeah, you're a short king, huh?

I'm a short guy.

I'm five eight.

Short king.

Right, that's right. But so listen, she's five ten. She's 5'10. With heels, she's towering. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? And she's gorgeous. She's just this long blonde, right? British. I never in my life thought, but let me, and this is- Speak Spanish?

No.

No Spanish at all. No, but I have to share, this is so wonderful because a lot of times what you're looking for is not what your soul needs. So you see, number one, she was taller than me. So go back to the Hispanic machismo. That's keeping you from your heart. So it's like God goes, okay, you're ready? Here, let's deal with that. Let's have you feel what it feels like to be with a woman that's taller than you.

And can you still step in your masculine? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is why I'm not cower.

Yes, this is what I'm telling you guys, relationships are the greatest medicine of your life. Here we go, you ready? Number two, she's white.

She's not Latina.

She's not Latina. So as a minority, which there is no such thing as minority, that's a programming from the 3D world, you are taught as a little boy and little girl that white people are different or better or whatever it is. So I had to deal with that.

Or racist or whatever it is.

Or whatever it is, whatever the story is, I had to deal with that. I had to deal with being accepted by a different culture. Number three, she's younger than me. She's younger than me. So I had to deal with the fact that the world wasn't gonna like this. The world was gonna get mad.

Why? But most men are usually with younger women, right?

Well, I don't know.

Okay.

All I know is that whenever I post a picture of Jen and I.

Because you're divorced is what you're saying.

Well, that's another thing. Can I be honest with you? Don't hate me. I'm just telling the truth. But the back story.

Oh, he left his wife for a younger, beautiful.

Which there was a three year. I didn't even know her when I got married.

It was not a fact. Of course he's gonna go and.

But the story. and can I tell you the, the number one people who I got the most backlash from were Hispanic women.

What are they? What did they say?

Well, think about what, think, think about what left us for 10.

You left us. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Does for that program, that, that wounding that, you see, because when you love yourself for exactly who you are, you don't give what somebody else does. You don't care, right? So all it is, right? It's just mirrors that are being reflected back to you that are causing you to feel a certain way. And then you go on Instagram and your ego and that's what instead of, whoa, wait a minute, why is this making me feel this way? And then number three, I had three boys. So I had to somehow get taller, Drop that gorgeous, beautiful blonde.

Younger.

Younger who lives halfway across the world to somehow fall in love with me? Talk about like going into the essence of himself. It was the greatest medicine of my life.

Wow, that's interesting. It's interesting because when I think about Martha, there's a lot of, not a lot of things, but there's a few things that I never thought I would be in a relationship with a woman who has some experiences like her. One is, I never thought it'd be with an actress who does kissing scenes with the guys, right?

Whoa, how is that?

It's okay now.

Okay. How was it? That would be hard.

Well, here's the thing. There's some things I'll tell you more off camera that are more, there's some stuff I can't share right now.

Sure, sure, sure.

I remember watching some of her older movies after we started dating for a while. I was like, oh shoot. I should probably watch some of these. I didn't know if I wanted to watch them of where she's like kissing guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I remember noticing me just clearing my throat as I'm like speaking, right? It's like, okay, you gotta speak your truth. This is good. And I remember seeing it, I'm gonna be like, okay, I know she's gonna kiss someone in this movie. Let me watch this and see how I feel my energy. And I was watching it and it wasn't bad. I wasn't like, 'cause it was also like before me and I was like, okay. And it wasn't like a sex scene, it was just a kissing scene or whatever. So I was like, That's interesting. But I also have to, if I'm going to choose to be with someone, I have to accept the life they've lived in the past. I can't make them wrong for that. That's the wounded self. That's right. I can't believe you dated this person. I can't believe you kissed. You can't make someone wrong from their past because she can make me wrong.

For a lot of my past.

That's right. And I didn't want that. That's right. So I'm like, if I want to be with someone, I have to accept all their past. I mean, we don't have to like it. I want to say, yay, that's awesome, but I don't, I have to accept it.

That's right.

So I chose to accept it. And then I watched a few more and I was like, okay, maybe I still need to watch these. You know, it's like, okay, now that we're like getting deeper in a relationship. I had to make a choice before we got committed, right? So we were just dating and then we got committing a committed exclusive relationship. And it was that literally that day I said, listen, if this is the path that you really want to do, if you want to continue acting and kissing, right, in the future, in movies, and those are movies that you want to choose because you feel aligned to them energetically, and there's a kissing scene, cool, I'm going to accept it because this is who you've been and I can't ask you to change who you are. And so I told her I'm going to choose to accept you for what your mission is in your life. And you're an actor, you've been acting and producing for 20 plus years, you've done 40 movies, she's like the queen of Mexico, all these different things. I would just ask that if this happens in the future, we talk about it and we just make sure we're in alignment. That's it. That I'm in the conversation. And then I get to share with you if I have any concerns. And she was like, 100%. So I feel really good about it from that space.

Watch this, and I want you guys to pay attention. You see, there's medicine in everything if you allow it. Because pay attention to how the only reason that you were ready to accept this part of her was when you first learned to accept yourself.

100%. You can never- I didn't stop judging the past.

That's right. You can never offer someone else what you don't have with yourself first. And that's one of the greatest lessons that I could, like whenever you are judging your partner, whenever you are in a place where you're tell, I can't wait for my partner to change. They're like, what if they, you know, again, it goes, you know, all men are dogs, right? Always go back to self, which takes a lot of courage, I know, but always ask yourself, wait a minute, hang on a second. What is it that I am afraid of changing or healing within myself that has me in a relationship where I'm constantly waiting for something else to change?

Yes. Yeah. And so there was, that was one thing. It was like, okay, I never thought I would date an actress. Being in LA, you grew up in kind of in this area, you lived in this area for a while. maybe that, like, the thought of, like, oh, a celebrity actress would be kind of fun and cool. Right. But I never heard good stories, and I'm sure there's great actresses out there, but I just, like, the stereotypical, like, they're all about themselves. They're egotistical. It's like they're dramatic, whatever it might be. And I was like, I don't want that. Yeah, but I ultimately attracted to that in other ways. Anyways, so I was like, I never thought I would date an actress, and she's an actress. And so I. Okay, let's try this out. Let's do this. I dove into it. I never thought I would be with someone who'd been married before. She's been married and divorced. It was like a very quick, like, nine month or it happened quickly that she, you know, kind of woke up right afterwards and it wasn't the right thing. I never thought I would be with someone like that. So I had to face that within me, like, okay, she's already experienced this. I haven't. How do I feel about that? I had to navigate that. And what am I.

What does that mean to me or what am I making it mean? Yeah. And I didn't like it.

I had some, like, issues with it early on, kind of initially, but then I was like, okay, what is what is it I truly want? What is my vision for a beautiful, healthy, conscious relationship? And maybe this is perfect for me. It's like maybe it's perfect for me. And also, I don't think I've ever been with a woman who has fully appreciated and loved me the way I've been wanting to be loved and appreciated. And I think because of all of her past relationship experiences, she sees me and she's so grateful for what I contribute to the relationship.

Yeah.

And so had she not experienced those things that I don't like maybe, I wouldn't have what I want.

Bingo.

And so I learned to be like, okay, I've had to learn how to accept that, right? And choose to be grateful for it, right? And really appreciate it because it's creating something that I want in my life. The third thing, which I never thought I would do, it kind of broke my paradigm, is being with someone older than me. She's not that much older, but it's like, I've always dated like, three, five, seven years younger than me. Right? And, you know, I've had to break that Paradigm. Okay, she's only, I don't know, it's like six months or maybe it's a year or something like that. Six or nine months. But I've had to break that Paradigm and be like, God, she's got so much more wisdom, patience, love than any younger woman I've ever been with. And if I want peace, she's got it. She is peace. This is it.

This is it.

I'm not saying you can't find that with a younger woman. I wasn't able to find that.

I think what we're both saying for the listener, I want you guys to really pay attention to how both of us, the partner that we found, made us deal with and look at parts of ourselves that maybe we haven't looked at or been wanting to deal with. Like for me, it was scary, bro. It brought me to the core of, and this is why I think I speak so much about masculine feminine. 'Cause honestly, I was masculine in some ways, but in many ways, I wasn't.

100%.

I wasn't.

Me too.

Straight up.

Me too.

Straight up, right? And this is why I get so passionate about it because it's like if we can help the world awaken to this, right? That all of you, whether you're a woman or a man, you all have masculine and feminine parts of you energetically. I called in the perfect partner. like it seems you did, right? To heal those parts of you, like maybe where you judged yourself in the past. Sure. Right?

She accepts my past. It's crazy. I'm like, I never could accept them before. I was always in shame.

Yes, and Tripp out on this.

And I'd always be like, I would tell her and be waiting for a reaction. She was like, okay. It's okay. I was like, what?

Every other person freaked out on me. Louis, for me, it was my body. So for me, if I have too many carbs, like little chubby Danny comes back. And I would wait and I would look at Jen loves me exactly who I am. How I am.

You don't have to feel ashamed.

I don't have to feel anything. I'm free.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's just beautiful, man.

That's amazing. Yeah. And what I realized is like these few things that maybe I never thought I would be in a relationship if someone had these things or whatever. What I was really doing the work and healing on before meeting her was What I really want alignment with for my soulmate or my partner to be is someone who's in alignment on values, vision and lifestyle. Because those three things were always off in previous relationships and it created so much friction. And I said, if I can be with someone where I accept myself fully, they accept themselves fully and we accept each other's missions in life separate of us fully.

That's right.

And we can find alignment, not perfection, but alignment on our values for where we are and where we want to be, our vision for where we are and where we want to be, and our lifestyle. We have a similar lifestyle needs and desires. Right. And if we can learn to communicate and create agreements on what works and what doesn't work, so we minimize disease and discomfort.

That's right.

Life is going to bring us challenges.

That's right.

But we don't need to be out of agreement and alignment.

Adding on to it. Right.

We need the energy to be able to take on challenge.

That's right, that's right.

And if I can create a relationship with someone where we can build that together, we can create all the love and abundance that we want and we desire together.

Amen.

And I've just never felt this much peace and abundance internally. Not necessarily externally, although that's there, but just the feeling of, gratitude and love and abundance for having all that.

Well, hang on, Louis. Do you remember how we started? We said life when you heal is a reflection of the inside.

Yes.

So when you feel peace, love and abundance inside, guess what you attract?

Yeah.

A partner that mirrors that frequency.

Yes.

So then it's all about, guys, please listen to me. what is in your life that is robbing you of peace, love, and abundance. You know, sometimes I've had to work with some of my clients that it's their mother.

Oh yeah.

Like the mom shows up drunk, abusive, is judgmental, it's the father. I made a quote the other day and it said, Don't allow the family you came from to ruin the family you're creating.

Yes.

And this is a message to the men out there. like a lot of men out there, you have like some of these, you know, manipulative parents.

Yes.

Who, by the way, are doing it because it's their form of loving you. It's just a wounded form of love, right? If you allow that to take priority over your wife, you're never gonna have freedom. You're gonna have to find, remember, the courage to speak up to your family.

Quick boundaries, yeah.

Right. And realize that my Family is from me down. That means me, my partner, my kids.

And that's when you come from a Hispanic culture, it's- hello brother, everything is family. Everything is family. Above is the family. And they get intertwined.

That's right.

And a lot of it, I mean, maybe this is true in different cultures as well, but a lot of like Hispanic people live with their parents or their grandparents until they're much older.

Which research shows there's like beauty in that.

Of course.

Because, you know, But it's like, just understand that there's a cost to it. There's a price you pay for everything.

There's a reward and there's a price. That's right. That's right. Yeah, there is beauty to it also.

Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah, I mean more in the Western tradition, it's like, okay, you're out at 18 and then go, you're separate from your parents, so your grandparents, and you never see them until they're in like the hospital when they're about to die. There's an extreme the other way as well, hyper in the parents. Hyper, right. You know, and I think there's a beauty to having a, you know, an in the middle somewhere.

Yeah.

You have this seven signs on how you found your soulmate or not. I don't know if you remember these seven signs. I'll read them out. You're from a social media post. These are the seven signs you have found your soulmate. One is deep connection and understanding. Two is effortless communication, which I want to dive in deeper on that. Three is emotional safety and trust. Four is alignment and values. Five is feeling at home together. Six is mutual growth and support, and seven is magnetic attraction. These are the seven signs that you found your soul mate.

I mean, heck yeah. Like, I'm up for that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Most people I feel like don't have any of those. And they stay in a relationship. They get in a relationship because they Find some type of chemical attraction, sexual attraction, or the sex is great, or we have this energy, it just feels electric. But they lack deep connection, understanding. Communication is actually chaotic. It's not effortless. They don't feel safe, they feel anxious actually, which kind of creates that chemical explosion. They don't feel trust because they're checking their phone or the other person or they're asking them where'd you go? They don't have that trust. They actually haven't talked about alignment on values. Like what do you actually value? They might think they know, but they don't know. They don't feel at home. Maybe they do right after they have sex, but other than that, they don't feel safe emotionally at home. They're actually not encouraging each other to grow, and they haven't found out if this person's on a growth trajectory or not.

Right.

Maybe they do have magnetic attraction, but it's not magnetic spiritual attraction. And I think that might be the caveat, magnetic spiritual attraction, to know that you've got your soul mate. Why do you think so many people struggle from creating that and asking about all these things within the partner?

Everything you just described is the outcome of fear. It's the, and when I say fear, you ever heard of Maya Angelou's poem? The greatest fear we have is not that we are inadequate, but it's that we are like, I'm gonna butcher it.

I think it's Mandela, actually.

Is that what it is?

Mandela, yeah.

Essentially what it says is the greatest fear is that we are, we're the one where as powerful as can be, right? And so this all, remember it all, I feel like a broken record sometimes, but it all comes back to whatever you're experiencing on the outside is just a match for how you're living on the inside. So all of that is correct. Absolutely. I lived it. You lived it. And we can all go back and look at the fact that all of us in some way, shape or form had the frequency of fear inside of us. Fear of speaking my truth, fear of being seen, fear of being accepted for who I am, fear, right? When you decide, 'cause this is what I decided, Louis. After 13 years of being married, right? Which I'm grateful for. To this day, I love her, I support her, I provide for her. My dream actually has finally come true. We're all like, everyone is cool, like everything is great right now.

Right?

But I had to come to a realization and I said, okay, I know what it feels like to not have peace.

Yeah. Right? Not fun.

Not fun at all, man. Not fun at all. Because when you don't have peace in your life, that lack of peace shows up, listen to me, in your money. Literally the lack of peace that you have within attracts clients. partners, careers that will give you more lack of peace because you're the one creating it.

Mm-. Right?

And so it shows up in every facet of life. So, Louis, I said to myself, if I'm gonna be with anyone, my number one priority is peace.

I know. So key, man. That was my thing, too.

That, yeah.

My three things is funny because Four, is it four, four and a half years ago, I started healing within a previous relationship. Cause I wanted to get out, but the therapist that I just started working with, she was like, you can get out and run away, but you're probably gonna attract and recreate this again unless you heal within it.

Which is, which was our previous conversation.

You start the journey of healing and diving all into the relationship, like, and creating the boundaries and speaking up and doing all the things you've been afraid to do because you get a reaction from the person. Mm-. And how could if you could sit in the fire and actually own your power and own your voice. And if she runs away, if she screams, if she says like, okay, it is what it is, but I'm going to stand up for me.

Yeah.

I'm going to be there for the little boy in me that never got to speak up.

That's right.

When I started to do that, it was probably like a six month journey of doing this. And it was a freaking nightmare. We were living together. I would, you know, create a boundary loving and consciously calmly. and then screaming and go the other way in the silent treatment for days and the whole thing, right? And I had to learn how to sit with it. The person that you're pouring into is giving you the silent treatment for days, blaming you, making you wrong for not giving into what they want, right? 90% of the learning is saying, okay, you do you. I'm gonna be okay. I'm safe.

I'm creating my own home, right? Which is very healthy masculine energy, by the way. Yeah. Very healthy masculine energy.

And by the way, that is wounded feminine energy. And I can see it. That's right. Yeah, yeah, that's right. and I was like, okay, she's in her process. I'm gonna let her be in her thing. And it's not what I want. It's. This isn't what I want. It's not my vision. Right. But I'm gonna keep processing this and keep stepping up for me in this process from a conscious, loving way.

And.

Everything I said to the. The therapist that I was working with was she asked me, what do you want? And I said, I want. three things. I knew right away my body just spoke it. I want peace, clarity, and freedom. Because I didn't feel like I had any of it in the relationship. Peace, clarity, and freedom. That was the whole thing I wanted. Right.

Could you pause right there?

Yes.

Do you guys remember what I told you? I said at the very beginning, or maybe in the previous episode, that if you could finally look at everything that has been in your life and accept it and thank it, because it will be the greatest teacher and give you the greatest gift of your life when you finally allow yourself to do it. Literally, you going through that relationship showed you what you no longer wanted, showed you what you wanted and attracted your new fiance.

Exactly, yeah, yeah. It was beautiful. But if I would have run away and kind of gone into my old pattern, I was like, okay, I'm just gonna be single for a while and then go have fun and then, Right. Get in the next relationship where I feel something. Yeah. It would just kept repeating it. Yeah. And so I really was just like, okay, I need to sit with this and really do this work and heal this part of me that's been attracting from a wound.

That's right.

Yeah. Because I felt like I was doing better, I was healing over the last 10 years in other areas of my life, but I still in intimacy struggled. Sounds like something you did too. Yeah. Yeah. And, and so when I, in the, in the dating phase with Martha, I was just like, I need to do everything different than what I did before and how I attracted and how I got into a relationship. And that was be a 100 authentically myself, say 100 the truth, not like hide a little bit of things where I think maybe they're gonna explode. I was just like, this is what I've done in my past. This is who I am. This is what I want in my future. Just like all of it. Yeah. If she can't accept it, then I.

Can'T be with her.

That's right. And I had to accept all of her stuff too. Everything from her past. And if I can't accept it, I shouldn't be with her. It's simple. I shouldn't be with you.

That's right. I can't blame you for something you already did. And that's why whenever I deal with couples who are like, the one has cheated. Yes. It's either, you're gonna accept it, go into it and heal it. And by the way, understand that if.

They cheated, you co-created that. Yeah, which no one wants to hear. No one wants to hear it. You're the victim.

It's like people are gonna say, well, I didn't do that. Listen to me. They cheated for a reason so that you could heal part of you that.

Attracted someone that was going to cheat. Period, end of story. I know, but people don't like hearing that. It's the truth. I understand it's the truth, but people don't like hearing it.

Yeah.

People are gonna be really frustrated. Because a lot of people who've been watching or listening or who've been cheated and they said, I did nothing wrong. I gave to this man, I gave to this woman, everything. I gave her all my money.

I gave her all my love, my support.

Raise the kids. I did everything and they cheated. Screw them. It's their fault. I'm not to blame. What are you talking about, Danny?

I can guarantee you there was a part of you that wasn't in your power, that wasn't in your authentic- But.

That'S not my fault. They cheated.

100% anything that you are in or not in is 100% your creation. 100%.

They're not gonna like hearing that.

It's the truth.

Or they gave everything. And they still cheated. They tried everything.

And they still- maybe they gave too much, so much so that they didn't honor themselves. There's always a reason. There's always a reason.

So I gave so much love, should I stop giving all my love? I'm gonna block my love.

Hang on, because let's talk about this. Because what is cheating? Cheating is you being with someone else without telling the person.

Without consent.

That's it. Yes, yes. I know thruples for quite a while. I know open relationships. I know as long as you have consent, it's not cheating.

Yes.

Right? So hang on a second. So then your partner had some sort of hidden desire that they didn't feel comfortable sharing with you. Why didn't they feel comfortable sharing them with you? Maybe, just maybe, could you have not provided a comfortable and open space where they could share everything? Maybe, maybe.

I'm gonna be the devil's advocate here. What if, okay, sure, I provided a safe space for them to talk, but they still cheated. They still went with their temptations, their pleasures, their desires, and they didn't commit to the relationship. They let all the temptation and our relationship go out the window for outside pleasure.

Well, then just stay there and watch it happen again.

I know, yeah, yeah. Or- I hear what you're saying.

I know, I know, I know. By the way, this is, I only speak of the things that I had, I cheated. I had an affair. Louis, I was that guy that when like all of the husbands were going on a guys trip, the wives would only allow their husbands to go if Danny was going.

Oh, wow.

Because I was Mr. Goody Two-Shoes.

Wow.

Because I wanted to create this facade that I had it all together. and deep inside, it was all a lie.

Wow.

It was all a lie, man. So I created it, yeah? And by the way, so did my ex. And I know she may not want to hear that, but we couldn't speak about this stuff. We couldn't, I couldn't even share the truth as to why I forgot the milk at the grocery store, let alone that. If I forgot the milk at the grocery store, I would get my balls chopped off. Are you Fucking kidding me? I would never hear the end of it. And then if I said, the-- did you just say the? It was like a-- it was like a-- there was nothing I could do.

You're wrong no matter what.

I'm wrong no matter what.

Yeah, it's exhausting.

So tell me something.

Yeah.

If that's how you react.

Yeah.

What do you think is going to happen? What do you think? And people used to tell me all the time, people used to say, you know, everyone makes mistakes. because trust me, man, I dealt with the guilt of that. That was a very deep, dark journey.

That you gotta live with that.

I lived with it. And I don't wish that on anybody. I really don't, because I am aware of the pain that it caused. But ultimately, what both of us discovered, we were trying to hold on to each other for all the wrong reasons. There wasn't real love. There was just the facade. And so like when I look back, it's like it wasn't a mistake. It was like, it was the key that unlocked both of us from the cage.

Yes.

Like if you could really allow yourself to look at things from like, from like a different perspective, like that's where you'll find your healing then.

Where do you think most people, the biggest problem is for most people today And getting into relationship or being in an unhealthy relationship?

It's a lack of being able to speak your authentic truth, period, in the story.

And is a lack of speaking your authentic truth coming from a wounded self?

It's coming from, there's an energy within you from a spiritual, energetic perspective, your throat chakra is blocked, you had an experience as a little boy or as a little girl where you weren't seen or accepted for your truth and your mother or your father told you that your voice in some way, shape or form, because this is how this all happens. And then you attract someone from that wounding and then both of you never share your truth or when you finally do it comes out in anger, because that's the other side of the wounding basically. And then when it comes out like that, there's no reflection. Like, don't get me wrong, me and Jen, we get into our situations, but we always like, here, I'm going to leave you like this. If you get this, you'll heal your relationship. But this takes immense amount of courage. From this day forward, everything that happens in your relationship, every argument, every disagreement, everything that goes wrong, if you are ready to heal your relationship, here's what I want you to do. Make it your fault.

Everything.

Everything. What's that book that Jaco wrote? Something, responsibility. Something responsibility.

There's something about like, yeah, discipline equals freedom, I think is more.

Yeah, but there was one he wrote about something like, responsibility. Except 100% responsibility. And you know what I started realizing? I started realizing that everything that I would blame Jen for, like secretly, there was something I did. Maybe it was the energy in which I came to the conversation.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But maybe it was the fact that I wanted to get into an argument with her. Maybe it was the fact that I didn't share my truth, whatever it was. And when you can learn to accept ownership and responsibility for everything, here's what you do. then you communicate it. And you say, you say, Baby, I realized that the way I showed up was wrong. I wasn't being authentic or, you know, the energy in which I was speaking from, it was manipulative. And I'm sorry. And I'm not aware of why I did that, but I can see it's a pattern that has been showing up in my life for so long, because that's what started happening, man. Here's my dream woman and she would start saying the exact same thing that my ex would say about me. So it's either they're crazy or I'm crazy.

Right?

And once I realized I was the crazy one, well then I got to go into it.

Wow. What was your current wife saying that your previous wife used to say?

Yeah, they would both say, But Danny, you don't understand, it's the energy in which you say it from. And I'd be like, no, I'm being nice and I'm it.

So then I was, It's the energy.

I was like, I was coming into this with a charge.

Sure. Right?

I was coming into it expecting to not be heard. So of course they're not going to hear me. So who created it?

Me. What are women getting wrong in the Western world today with choosing a certain type of men?

Well, I don't want to say that they're getting it wrong.

What is creating more pain than peace?

The greatest pain that is being created inside the life of women today is that they have been taught several things that are keeping them disconnected from love. Number one, they're in a competition with other women. They need to realize that other women are their sisters. and whenever they're in competition with other women, they're actually in competition with themselves. Whenever they judge other women, they're actually judging themselves. The second thing that is keeping women from their heart is women have been taught that their value is on the outside. And so women, and I say this lovingly, but women are so preoccupied with changing, adding, removing their outside. And the message that I think love has for them is that they are perfect exactly the way they are. And there's a reason why they were born the way that they were born and the moment that they start to cherish and honor and accept themselves for who they are and not change to conform to what society wants of them or for what a man wants of them. They'll be in their power. and from that power they will attract, guess what? A man that is also in love with himself for who he is, right? And the third thing that I think is keeping women from the love they truly desire is that they will not allow a man to fully love them, protect them, and provide for them. because they have been the man in their life. They have been the masculine in the life. And the only way, the only way for a man, a masculine man, a safe man, a loving man to come into your life is if you stop being the man in your head.

Oh my gosh. I don't think women like hearing that though.

Women don't like hearing that, but women love him.

Why is it so hard for women to allow a man to love them, protect them, and provide for them?

Because the man that was supposed to protect them, love them, and provide for them didn't. He broke their hearts. He wasn't there for them. And he taught them that trusting and leaning on and counting on a man was the last thing they should ever do in their life. It's a father wound. Or it could be a mother wound, and where they saw their mother be defenseless with their father, and they told themselves, I will never be that ever again.

What is the mind to owe women to be more in their protector-provider mode, and maybe telling men to be less in their protector-provider mode, what it seems to look like in society more than ever before right now. Why is that happening?

Because the energy of society is, it's a fear consciousness. I'm gonna be very gentle with this, but let's just look at the recent election, okay? Let's talk about fear and victim energy. By the way, I didn't vote, so I'm not, I'm not, I have no fight in this game.

Yes.

Because I decided a couple years ago that the game of politics is actually the game of separation. It's a losing game.

It's a losing game.

It's a game of pitting one against the other. So watch this. Someone loses.

Someone loses. Half the country loses, half the world loses, whatever it is.

And by the way, someone's right and someone's wrong.

Yeah. And when someone's right and someone's wrong, we're all wrong.

That's right. that is separation. We used to walk around planet Earth butt naked, loving each other. That's who we are at our core. We are love, right? And so when you're in victim energy, all of your energy and fear energy is put into something outside of you. So you are on pins and needles for your person to win. Because if and when they win, my life will be different. There is no more deeper that you are falling into than that. You are the president of your life, period in the story. You are the creator of your life. But then watch this, victim fear energy, which is literally all of Hollywood, all of the news, all of the machine which wants to keep you in it, they're constantly just programming you with fear.

Right?

So then when your person win or doesn't win, guess what happens? You go into fear. Oh my God, how could I live in this world, this world, this world with so much bad things happening in this world? What if you shut off the dead program?

Yeah, you don't see it.

What if you shut off the TV? True story. I don't know what the hell is going on in the world. Because it was shown to me very clearly that the TV is the very thing that is being used to program us and keep us in fear. I don't know who's at war. I don't know who won the game. I don't know. I'm oblivious because I want to stay here. I don't need that to entertain me or to fill me. I'm filled in here. You want life, close your eyes. Sit in silence. You want to meet God, by the way, go sit in nature for 30 minutes. Take a deep breath in, hold that breath, release it. Do that six, seven, eight, nine times, and then just sit in stillness. Watch all of your ailments, watch your body heal, your life heal, because you're going to meet God. You're going to meet God. You're going to meet the Creator. You want to manifest, it's here. You, the center of the universe, is literally all right here. But you're being told that it is out there.

Why do we seem to have more men not stepping into their power?

By the way, so let me keep going. Thank you. So what does fear want? Fear wants chaos. Fear wants darkness. So fear and the consciousness of fear and separation devises this plan. I know what we're gonna do. We're gonna make the women men and the men women. Because when those energies come together, guess what happens? We will create children that are in the energies of chaos, guilt, and shame. They can't be in their power because when they're in their power, they're being shown by a man, a father, what true masculinity is, and by a woman, what true femininity is. And the more and more that these babies are being created in chaos, guilt, and shame, the more that darkness can live. The last thing it wants is for men to be in their masculine and women to be in their feminine. Because if that happens, guess what will happen here on earth, Louis? Heaven on earth.

Love.

Love.

Yeah.

Love. The heaven that religion tells you that you need to wait for someday out there, you will literally experience it here on earth. And if you want that, remove all separation that is within you. Remove all racism that is within you. Start there. Start there. Anything in you that sees yourself as less than or greater than someone else, I used to be in real estate and I used to be a part of a club that was only for like Hispanic real estate agents. That's me. Creating and filling the energy of racism.

Wow.

I'm the one creating it. If I'm walking- Can't you be, you.

Know, inspired by your culture and your.

Country and- you- are not your culture. You are not your country. You are you. I'm not Hispanic. I'm not American. I'm a human being and my country is the world and my religion is love. Parade on the story. Watch what happens when you start going on that journey. Watch how beautiful life gets.

What?

Money? Dream partner? Because you have finally gotten it. That you are love.

Yeah. And the biggest thing separating people from love is what?

Well, the world that we live in, the game is this, Louis, you come down into this world and the world is made to take you from your power. All of your power believes in and listens to everybody else. You listen to your mom and dad, you listen to your teacher, then you listen to the government, then you listen to the preacher, you listen to everybody but you. And that shows you to be separate from God. So you're praying and hoping, God, please, change my life, please change my life, please change my life. Until one day you realize ain't working. This ain't working. Because they keep attracting the same thing, right? And then you go on the journey. You go on the journey of no longer believing what the world, society, religion, when nothing has told you, you go on the journey of finding the truth for yourself and discovering who you are. And when you do that and you have the courage to unravel everything within you that has anything to do with fear, anything to do with not honoring your truth, guess what you discover, man? You discover exactly what Jesus said when they asked him, who are you? Who are you? And what did he say? I am that I am. They say you're God. Are you God? I and the Father are one. And that very thing is available for all of humanity.

That's beautiful, man.

Thank you, man.

There's a lot more we could talk about here about relationships. I thought we just scratched the surface, but you've got a lot of great content in your own podcast about relationships as well. And also on your Instagram, @danny_morrell, @danny_morrell.com, you've got an amazing three-day event that you do that helps people step into their power, own their voice, heal and start the Journey of healing that they can get at dannymorel.com is where they can find that information or backslash awaken.

Yeah.

Backslash awaken or raken you.com is at the site for the.

Yeah. Or dannymorel.com backslash awaken you.

Okay, cool. How many times do you do that event? A year.

If I could, every day of my life.

Yeah, but how many is it happening?

We will do 10 of them in 2020.

10 of them. Wow, man. Almost every month you're doing an event.

I just, I, that's great. Lou is, there's nothing on planet Earth like you seeing a human being uncover their eyes and look at you with tears going, I get it.

Yeah. It's powerful.

There's nothing.

Yeah, I get it. I get it now. I understand. So if people want to check out more from you, you've got a podcast. Is it the Higher Self podcast or.

Is it a different one? Yeah, we've got two. It's the Higher Self and then with.

My wife we do Finding the One. Oh, that's good. Okay, so if you want more of the relationship stuff, go to check out Finding the One podcast with you and your wife. Also, just dannymerrell.com will have all this stuff linked up and we'll link it up all as well. I've got two final questions for you, Danny. Let's do it. Before I ask them, I want to acknowledge you, Danny, for your transformation.

Thank you, man.

For your constant journey of transforming and healing and growing, which it's gonna be a journey for both of us till we die.

Sure.

And for your courage to let go of an old self that no longer served you or humanity in the highest level, for the courage to let go of the, you know, the big businesses and do more of the work you're doing and things like that. And to find ways to create healing with your previous wife, to bring that family and merge it in a certain way that has boundaries and healthy love as well with your current life and new child that you have. So congratulations on being a model and example and breaking the mold of Hispanic culture, even though you're not Hispanic culture. But you come from that culture that has a stereotype and a mold that a man needs to be a certain way. And I appreciate you being a voice and being an example for men from that culture to say, oh, if I want peace and freedom, maybe it doesn't have to look this way that my great-grandfather and grandfather and father all did. Maybe I can be the one of my family to change the legacy moving forward.

That's right.

So I acknowledge you for that as well. This is a question I ask everyone towards the end called the Three Truths hypothetical question. Imagine you get to live as long as you want to live, but it's the last day for you.

Okay.

You accomplish all of your dreams. You see your kids grow up and they accomplish their dreams. But it's your last day on Earth. And for whatever reason, in this hypothetical scenario, all of your work has to go with you, or we don't get to keep it on this Earth. It's gone. This conversation gone. All the videos you've created, books, Workshops, it's all gone. But you get to leave behind three truths. and this, we would get to keep this. This is all Earth would have of your kind of teachings or memories or lessons. What would those three lessons or three truths be for you?

Everything you've ever wanted and every question you've ever answered is already within you. There is no separation between you, the plants, the animals, your brothers and sisters, as you are all one and you and God are one.

Very good. Awesome. It's almost all in one. All three of them are one. Yeah, you are one with everything. Yeah. Final question. What's your definition of greatness?

Discovering yourself and living from your authentic self.

Danny, thanks for being here, man.

Thank you, though.

Appreciate you, brother.

Thank you, man. I think the thing we get wrong most about relationships is that we are absolutely clueless about how critical the first steps are.

Mm.

Those first dates, those first months, what you are doing is you are creating an unspeakable.