A speaker describes realizing that emotional balance isn't just about managing your own feelings, but about co-regulation: how calming someone else down actually calms you down too. He uses a baby responding to a parent's soothing voice as an example, then shows how adults do this through listening, asking questions, and offering support.
Chapters
Something that was a wake up call was having an other orientation. What does that mean? It's not just about me. Yeah. You know, emotions are not just my emotions. Everybody's got emotions. And I could, yes, I can regulate my own emotions, but guess what? CO regulation is a huge piece of emotional intelligence. What is CO regulation? So think about it. In a baby, you know, you're working with your baby, and they're crying, and you're holding the baby, and you're giving them warmth, and you're, you know, doing a little cooing, talking in a very soft voice to kind of deactivate their nervous system, and that makes you feel calm. It's this kind of symbiotic back and forth as adults. It's me asking you good questions. It's me showing up with empathy, with compassion, with good listening skills and saying, you know, hey, Louis, I heard, you know, I heard the news. You know, I'm really sorry about that. What can I do to be supportive? Let's think about it. Let's go for a walk. Let's go play a game. Let's do something to just get your mind off of it or to problem solve about it. But I'm here for you. That's CO regulation.