Lewis HowesYour Personal 24/7 Greatness Coach

What Real Love Is...

4 Apr 2024 · 1 min

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In this personal monologue, the speaker reflects on the contrast between popular media depictions of love—often portrayed as head‑over‑heels lust—and his own understanding of love as a safe, supportive space. He describes feeling secure in his wife's presence, which allows him to confront and rewrite his childhood trauma together. The wife is characterized as a stabilizing, nurturing force—"the rock" and "the glue"—who consistently wants the best for him and helps him work through personal challenges. While he finds this deep emotional safety sweet and valuable, he acknowledges that reaching such a level of trust and safety is difficult and requires effort.

Chapters

When I look at, like, what love is, like, we see love on TV as, like, head over heels, and it's more lust than anything else. And you fall for each other. There's so much love. What I think love is, is feeling safe in the presence of somebody else where, you know, you have so much to work on and they have so much to work on. And I feel safe in my wife's presence to work on all of my childhood trauma with her through her and being able to try to rewrite that story through her. That's the way that I see it. It's like, I love her. She's amazing. She's like, the rock in my life, like she's a glue of everything. But at the same time, it's like I have never felt in a moment unsafe and that she doesn't want the best for me and she wants to help me with whatever it is that I'm working through. It's pretty sweet, but it's hard to get there.