Esther Perel asks why we laugh freely but feel we must explain our tears. Crying is as natural as laughter, yet people claim they never cry even as tears fall. She argues that authentic emotional life requires the freedom to cry without judgment or justification.
It's hard for people to really fully say yes if you can't fully say no. And it is hard for people to fully laugh if you can't also cry. If you ask people, when's the last time you laughed? Nobody has to justify laughing. But crying, people have to justify it. It is the absolute natural emotion to feel in sadness, in grief, in loss. If something is funny, you automatically do this. If something is sad, the fact that you stay like that, affectless, or that you repress it, or that you hold it in, or that you don't even notice it, or that the thing is coming down your face and you don't even realize. I've had people tear in my office while they say, I never cry.
Secret Service Agent: Your Neutral Face Is Making People Distrust You (Here's How to Fix It)
