Why Relationships FAIL

I saw a stat online recently that said 75% of relationships fail within the first. Right after the first year. Right. I don't know if that's an accurate stat, but it just seems like people are struggling in relationships in a, in a new relationship. They're struggling finding a great partner when they start dating. Yeah. They're struggling trying to figure out, is this the right partner for me? They're struggling to figure out their own wounds and how they're, uh, you know, their traumas interact with someone else's traumas and is there a good match. All these different things cause people to struggle in relationships and break up within the first year. It seems like. Why do you think people are struggling more than ever today to have a healthy, happy relationship? I would say it's the illusion of options that we've got today that we've never had before in the form of online dating, social media and pornography. What that means is when we enter relationships, we're almost assessing if that partner is worthy of us. And there's almost an element of narcissism. When we walk in, we're like, can I get better? Can I get the most I can get? Is this the most satisfying sexual relationship I've ever had? And if that person doesn't take every single box off, instead of reflecting on what you need to heal and what you need to bring to the table and how you can help this relationship survive, we simply replace them with the illusion of options. Even if we don't have alternatives that we think we do, so we let go far quicker than we previously would have. Really, what do you think we should be asking ourselves about the person we want to date? You know, because it sounds like we want to have every box ticked. Like they have to be perfect and they have to be funny, they have to be rich and they have to be good looking and they need a good education. But what should we really be asking ourselves before we start dating someone? How are my personal insecurities going to ruin this relationship? Ooh, yeah. I think that's the first and foremost conversation to have with yourself. How are my insecurities going to ruin this relationship? How are my personal insecurities going to ruin this relationship? Why is that the question we should ask ourselves? Because we go into relationship almost blind to our own wounds and they resurface in the relationship and we blame them for not providing the medication of a wound that existed before we met them. Yeah. So what I mean by that is, say, for example, you grew up financially insecure and you meet a partner who's actually really nice to you, but he might not be able to soothe all your financial insecurities. You immediately think he's not good enough. Or you go into a relationship being addicted to pornography, and then you meet a woman who's actually just your right level, but you're so used to a hypersexualized, promiscuous woman that you find her boring. Or you go into a relationship not being able to communicate, and then you meet somebody who else who's not also communicating, and you don't voice your concerns. So I would say ask yourself, how are your insecurities going to ruin this relationship? And how do I create a buffer so that doesn't occur?