Lewis HowesYour Personal 24/7 Greatness Coach

Why some people ACTUALLY have kids

28 Aug 2026 · 1 min

Watch on YouTube

0:44

In this excerpt, Lewis Howes tackles the provocative question of why many people choose to have children, arguing that beyond love or biological drive, a substantial number of parents view children as extensions of themselves. He describes how parents often unconsciously treat kids as trophies, ambassadors, or sources of personal healing—ways to curate and puppeteer the unrealized selves they never became. This subconscious projection of ideals leads to imposing expectations on children. Howes then positions conscious parenting as a corrective framework, urging parents to become aware of these hidden motives and to avoid using children to fulfill their own unmet needs.

Chapters

You're asking me the most important question. So I'm going to give you a provocative answer. And many of your listeners are not gonna like me right now when I say this. And this is why I teach conscious parenting. The reason for that, imposing our ideals, is because in many ways, the very reason we have children is to have a trophy, is to have an ambassador, is to have somebody who heals us, somebody who now we can curate and puppeteer to be the unrealized selves we never were. Oh my gosh. But it's really subconscious.