Dr. Joe Dispenza explains why people hold onto resentment after betrayal. The brain gets stuck in fear, replaying the hurt. By staying present with the discomfort instead of fighting it, you rewire your nervous system and release oxytocin and nitric oxide, which actually opens your heart and makes you feel powerful again.
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Why are so many people holding on to resentment of what someone did in a relationship in their past versus allowing them to find forgiveness and peace about it? Maybe it's not agreeing that it was okay what they did, but why do people hold on to resentment for so long or anger about a past? I think it's because people are afraid it's going to happen to them again. Oh, and when we have a traumatic event, big or small, in fact, you're always on the lookout for any signal in the environment, any person or circumstance, that's going to be the smallest cue that's going to say, oh, I've done this before, I better get ready for it. So we're in a constant state of bad news, waiting for the worst case scenario. So let me just finish this, okay? Yes, because the question really was about self love. The person who lives in resentment is making themselves unhappy. A person who's judging everybody else because they're judging themselves is making themselves unhappy. Person who's complaining, blaming, making excuses, feel sorry for themselves, they're making themselves unhappy. There's nobody doing that to them. You say, it's your ex. Okay, let's take your ex. Let's put them in a straight jacket and shoot them to the moon. Now what? You're still holding onto it. You're still thinking that way and feeling that way. And that person is no longer in your life. You're defined by that story, by that past event. Okay? The person's truly sincere and thinks there's something other than that emotion of resentment. What's on the other side of it? Am I willing to sit through it long enough? And no matter how much the pain is or what my body does, I'm going to sit this one out. I'm going to work with my body and keep bringing it back into the present moment. It's like training in that all. You keep doing it over and over again. You stay, you stay. You say, I'm not getting up. I'm not eating, I'm not moving. We're going to keep lowering the volume. You keep reconditioning the body to a new mind. Sooner or later, it surrenders. It surrenders to a new mind. When that occurs, there's that liberation of energy. And energy moves into the heart. And you feel love for yourself. You feel a respect for yourself. You feel an honor for yourself. Something. You took your power back. You know, you built your field. Something feels right. When we look at the data of people who do this and we see their scans, their brain scans, we see their HRV measurements, and they get good at this. We measure their oxytocin levels. Now, oxytocin is the love chemical, right? It's made in the pituitary gland. Oxytocin signals nitric oxide, and nitric oxide signals another chemical called endothelial derived relaxing factor. And that chemical causes the arteries in your heart and your lungs to literally open up and blood flows into your heart and your heart is filled with energy. That kind of state means I don't want to feel anything else but this. I don't want to judge you because I don't want to lose this feeling. So then imagine being around a cat like that, being around a person like that that's really easy to be around because they're okay with themselves.
