We hold onto resentment because we're afraid the hurt will happen again, especially after trauma makes us hyper-vigilant for any sign of betrayal. Focusing emotional energy on the person who wronged us keeps them powerful in our lives and traps us in resentment.
Why are so many people holding on to resentment of what someone did in a relationship in their past versus allowing them to find forgiveness? I think it's because people are afraid it's going to happen to them again. And when we have a traumatic event, big or small, in fact, you're always on the lookout for the, the any signal in the environment that any person or circumstance that's going to be the smallest cue.
That'S going to say, oh.
I've done this before. I better get ready for it. So we're in a constant state of bad news waiting for the worst case scenario. You have a relationship with someone like X or someone's betrayed you. You have a different memory of that person based on your experience. Which triggers a different feeling, right? Which triggers a different feeling that's based on experience. And so then it makes sense then.
That the stronger.
The emotion you feel towards that person, the more you pay.
Attention to them and where you place.
Your attention is where you place your energy. So you're giving.
Your power away to change to.
That person or that circumstance.
And it's entirely possible that your reality is staying the same because your energy is the.
Secret Service Agent: Your Neutral Face Is Making People Distrust You (Here's How to Fix It)
