Matthew Hussey explains why people sabotage good relationships despite having no obvious reason to. He shares how he nearly ruined the relationship that became his marriage, tracing self-sabotage to underlying fears, past patterns, and internal narratives that contradict what looks perfect on the surface.
Chapters
Why is it sometimes that women sabotage that potential really good relationship that is right in front of them?
If they meet a good guy, they.
Meet a good guy, They've gone on some date, there's no red flags. There's no ick. And there's like, here's a guy, he's got a job, he's kind. He's like, he's groomed, he's healthy. He's, you know, he can have some funny. He's got, you know, maybe he's not Superman, but he's got a good, good package, right? Why do liter. And spiritually, why do women sabotage when there's a good man in front of them?
The question can be applied equally across the genders, and we all. I know I've sabotaged potentially wonderful relationships before. Almost did it with the relationship that, you know, turned out to be my marriage. I almost, like, screwed that up. And. And we have to look at what's.
Why do you think you almost screwed it up?
We get into these patterns where we chase the wrong things. I can't take credit for that phrase. My wife, Audrey, loves that phrase. And I got addicted to it, too, because it's so. It's such a great phrase, this idea that if you chase the wrong things, it might be fun sometimes, but until you start chasing the right things, that chasing the wrong things will always loop you back to where you started. And, you know, I got to the point as a single person where I realized this is not. This is not as fun as it, you know, this has become a kind of drug of its own. And what am I really chasing here? Does it leave me feeling better at the end of it? Does it leave me feeling more anxious? In my case, it actually left me feeling more anxious. It left me feeling worse about myself. And I, you know, I think in some ways, the. The longer we take to find our person, I don't believe in the one, but I do believe in our person, because it's a very different thing. But the longer we take, I think some of us, we have to now justify all the people we said no to, because if I'm going to go for this person, then why did I say no to those people? They were great in these ways, too. And so we kind of were chasing this idea we have in our mind of something instead of being present with who is in front of us and what's actually unfolding in front of us.
