WHY YOU NEED To Stop Being REALISTIC & SHOOT For The MOON TODAY! | Jesse Itzler & Lewis Howes

We program our brain one way and that's our limit. And until we can get past that, my superheroes, some of them turned out to be unbelievably amazing humans, but others I started looking at, it's like, man, you're just rich. Success is the more experiences you have, the more you can offer. And I think by building this life resume, I think it can also help you land your dream job. You become more interesting. It can help you.

If you've been waiting for a sign to make your dreams a reality, then this video is for you. Put together all the best lessons from serial entrepreneur Jesse Itzler on how to go after your dreams and accomplish them. Jesse's passion for life always gets me fired up. So make sure to subscribe to this channel, drop a like and comment your key takeaways below.

I've spent so much of my life exploring the physical side. You know, I've ran a 100 mile race, I've done ultra paddleboard races, I've done marathons. And I love that. I learn a lot from those kind of things. But I've completely neglected the inner work. And I just felt super distracted, a little bit overwhelmed. Four kids, wife, work, just like everybody else. And I just said like, well, who are the masters? Like, who would be the best person or persons to talk about, like, just self reflection and just, you know, and it was monks. And I didn't know anything about monk culture. I didn't know anything other than like watching a couple of movies and reading a couple of blogs about the monk world. So I just said to my wife, I think I'm gonna go live on a monastery, you know, and her immediate reaction was like, listen to Louis. Like, there are podcasts for this shit, man. You know, you don't have to go away to a monastery. But, you know, it's. I learned best without question by jumping into the unknown. Like, that's the best teaching tool for me. And it's always been the way that I've gotten the most, like, growth. And I was like, man, I'm just gonna go. And I put the plan in motion pretty quickly.

When did you have the idea? And then when did you go? Was it like within a couple months, a couple weeks?

It was fast.

You had an idea, you asked, you told her about it. Otherwise, okay, I'm going.

Otherwise I'm gonna talk myself out of it.

You will.

So ready, fire, aim. Ready, fire, aim. And that's the difference. Like, I'm in a relationship. My wife is a processor. Everything gets analyzed and processed and thought out, what are the pros? There's a pro sheet, there's a con sheet. What are the consequences? And I'm an. I'm inner. I'm in Louis.

Where we going? And you're gonna learn something good.

I'm in.

Something good's gonna happen. There's gonna be a consequence, but it's gonna be a great experience.

Right? So it was about a month, I would say.

A month.

Yeah.

You were in Gotcha, and you were there, you already knew where you wanted to go or you started researching.

I knew that, you know, I had Living with the seal. I had a book, you know, about living with my. Yeah, about living with a Navy SEAL that moved in with my family. So I knew I wanted to write a book about this journey if it's. If it was suited for that. So I called my publisher, and she happened to know of this monastery. That's how I got to the monastery. And that. That started the journey.

There you go. And it was close enough to you. It was in the States. You have to go to, like, Grand Tetons or some other place in another country or something was close to you. In Atlanta. Near Atlanta. The east coast, at least. I went to India a year and a half ago as well. After I did this digital detox. I said, I want to explore more. So I went to India and essentially lived with monks for. But I had like, a nice, you know, a nice bed, a nice place. It wasn't like I was living on the ground, but it was training 15 hours a day on the mind and the inner work, meditation. And it was for two weeks. The first week was learning meditation. The second week was learning how to teach meditation other people. And I had some incredible experiences, and it was the most profound peace I'd found with that type of work. So I know that this works when you do it. Did you. And I saw your before and after photos. I think you sent it to me or you posted it online. I was like, man, you look so clear and calm. What was the greatest lesson you learned about yourself through the process?

I was very clear in calm. It took me a while to get to that place because when I first got there, literally the first minute I walked in, I took a quick tour. And my main. The main monk, like my grand poobah, Brother Christopher, said to me, tomorrow we're gonna start at 7:15am with prayer, reflection, and meditation. I was like, Great, it's 6:05pm what do I do for the next 13 hours? And he looked at me dead in the eye. And he said, you think? And I was sitting in the room, the size of this desk, basically. Excuse me. And I said, okay, I'm gonna try to meditate. I'm not a big meditator. My form of meditation has been running, working out. Yeah. Like, that's, like, my alone time. No. You know, and so I set my timer for 20 minutes, and I'm like, let me try to focus on my mantra. And I'm going through my routine, and I'm getting bombarded with thoughts. Like, the worst shit is coming into my head.

Like, why am I here?

Why am I here? What if something happens to my wife? My kids? Aren't, you know, all this stuff? And time is going by, and I'm like, why isn't my timer beeped? You know, I've been at this. So I'm like, well, maybe I didn't set it. Let me reset it. I'm like, no, I don't want to cheat. Gonna happen any minute. So I go back into my mantra and back into my mantra, and after what felt like forever, I'm like, I didn't start the timer. So I go to reset my timer, and I look down 3 minutes and 27 seconds, and I'm like, whoa. I am that distracted that I can't even, like, sit quietly for three minutes. Like, I'm that overwhelmed and distracted. And I realized that, like, I'm here for 15 days. Like, I'm fucked. You know? Like, I'm like, this is like, I'm. What am I gonna do? And I couldn't call my wife and be like, you know, what are you doing right now? There was. I had to work it out in my own head, and that was hard. But one of the other. One of the other really big takeaways for me was like.

So that was one that you were really distracted. That was a lesson you learned?

Really distracted. I realized when I came home, everybody asked me what I missed the most, but nobody asked me what I didn't miss. And I realized that a lot of things that I didn't miss filled up my calendar. So I went during the final. During March Madness. And I've grown up watching March Madness and filling out the brackets and watching all the games, and I didn't miss that at all. You know, I didn't miss going and searching through Netflix, the thousands of films that I could maybe watch, and short circuiting because it's just too much. Like, I didn't miss a lot of stuff that I do every day. And I realized that I'm putting a lot like I realized that I want to. We were just talking about this before the podcast started. I'm turning 50. The average American lives to be 78 years old.

Here we go. All the research.

Here we go. If I'm average, I got 28 years left. If I'm average, I hope I'm not.

You're vegan, you work out. Yeah.

But if you reverse engineer that, if you reverse engineer Those, the next 30 years, like I just climbed Mount Washington. There were no 60 or 70 year old guys on top of Mount Washington. The relevant years, you have to do things that you want to do. Like it's, it's limited, you know, so my enemy is the clock. And I realized, man, I just got to live with so much urgency and put as much stuff of the things that I love to do with the people that I love to do them with on my plate. And that's like as soon as I got home, I'm like, I'm a limit. I'm saying no to everything unless it moves the buckets in my family life, wellness, finances or cause related, like otherwise of course I'm gonna have some stuff on my. But the majority of my plate, I want to fill it up with that stuff.

80, 90% needs to be filled up with that.

Yeah.

Is what you're saying.

Yeah. And if I took, you know, if I looked and I've been very lucky to live my life a lot like that. But you know, certainly the next 30 years, 50 to 80, like that. I mean, man, it's spooky. I feel 32, but there's a reality on it's. I look at it every day when I pull my driver's license out to get on the plane or I look at my like fucking turning 50, man. So I mean those, you know, it's like I start to reverse engineer how I want to live those, those, those days. And I talk about it in the book. I got this lesson early on in life, but I didn't. I appreciated it, but I appreciate it a lot more. When I first started out in, in, in the music business, I was writing theme songs for professional sports teams. We spoke about this, but I had no money. I had like $100 in my bank account and I needed money to write demos, to create these demos, to present them because everything was on spec.

Yeah.

Do you like it? Buy it? Not like it wasn't like, hey, I want to write you this theme song. Will you give me money, 10 grand so I can go in the studio.

You had to make it.

You had to make it.

Deliver the product. Yeah.

And then if they liked it, they would buy it. But I had no money to make it. So I went to this music manager and he said, I'll lend you the $10,000 you need to make four, four or five of these demos. But I want 10% for that. I want 10% of you forever. Forever, Forever. Like, I'm investing in you. I'm giving you the 10 grand. I don't know where this is gonna go. And I was like, I'll do it. I'm 21 years old. 10% of me, $10,000. There was nothing without this money. But before I finalized the deal, went and talked to my friend's father, who was a big business mogul, and I went into his apartment. He had this Mack Daddy apartment in. I mean, mogul in the true sense of the word, mogul. Owned gas, owned parking garages all over New York. Owned a piece of the Yankees, a piece of the New Jersey Nets at the time. True mogul and philanthropist. I go to his apartment. I'm 21 years old. He has all this fancy artwork up. He has his own swimming pool. And, I mean, it's just mind blowing, the wealth. And I start to tell him the story, and he stops me. He says, jesse, I will trade every single thing I have for the one thing that you have. And I'm like, me, I'm 128. Yes. Youth, youth, youth. And the process. The journey of going through the unknown.

The struggle, the uncertainty, everything.

The wins, the losses. Just the whole thing.

He would give up everything to go back to that.

To go back to that. And I've been really aware of that. Here I am 30 years later, still talking about that. Wow. But now more so now I don't want to get to be 70 and 80 and have that thought in my head. Like, I want to live my life with that kind of urgency and fill up my plate so I don't have that regret that, like. Because when you're in a routine, time goes really fast, and then you wake up and you're 70, and you're like, fuck, I can't climb the mountain. I'm 70. When you get out of the. Out of your routine, like at the monastery, and you look at the thing and it's 3 minutes and 27 seconds, time slows down. I want to stop the clock, man. I got four kids. So my relationship with time in general was reestablished at the monastery.

Really?

Definitely.

By eliminating the things that no longer support or serve your Vision for your life and focusing on the things that.

Do and not waiting.

Not waiting for what?

So like I climbed Mount Washington. I didn't get to the summit with five friends and I came back and Mount Washington is a really dangerous mountain in the winter. I think it's one of the ten most dangerous mountains because of the climate. It's cold like minus 30 and the winds get up to 50 to 75 miles an hour and no visibility, blah, blah. So I didn't get. Because of that, I didn't get to the top of this journey. I did with five of my close friends. I came back and I'm talking to my wife about it. And because I posted it on Facebook, I was getting bombarded with, you didn't make it, you could six miles to the top, you couldn't get. And I said to Sarah, I failed. And you know, I felt terrible. I let my friends down. We put it out there and she said, no, no, no, sweet. She said, first of all, you numbskull, get a tour guide.

Right? Don't do it on your.

Get proper equipment and train for it and go back next year, next winter and knock it out. And I was like, next winter, I'm going back on Saturday.

Wow.

That's the urgency. Because there's no guarantee what next winter is going to do. You know, like we could talk about all of our vision. My thing would be like, we'll do it now. You know, you have a five year plan. That takes too long, man. It takes too long. So that's what I mean about my relationship with time. It's like, yes, I eliminated a lot of the things that were no's, but I also created a tremendous amount of urgency. I started to look at my enemy, my greatest enemy other than keeping my health. I mean, we all want to is the clock. Yeah.

If you could go back 15 to 20 years my age or five years earlier, when you're 30, 35, what would you eliminate and what would you add into your life?

I would act like I'm not going to live till 80. I would just wouldn't put off the trip to Hawaii. I mean, you're doing it. You're going to live with monks, you're traveling to Hawaii, you have a business. I mean, you have good balance. I mean, you've kind of cracked. You have a short commute to work, you've kind of cracked. A lot of the things that many struggle with. Sitting in traffic in their commute, bad relationships, you know, struggling with health issues and finances. You've been able to Eliminate a lot of that at a really early age. But I would just say, you know, my suggestion would be to put, just to put it in an analogy again. I met a good friend of mine has this rule, I call it the Kevin Rule. Every five, every year. I asked him how he lives his life because he's one of the happiest guys that I know and he's a police officer. He told me that every year he takes a trip with his college friends. He's been doing it since he's 21 years old, one time a year. And then every other month, one weekend, he goes away and puts something on his calendar, these circles. He's going to run a marathon, he's going to go to the beach, whatever. I call it the Kevin Rule. I said to myself, and this is what I would say to my 35 year old self, especially at 35, and I'll show you why. If I can't take a weekend every other month to put something on calendar for myself, if I can't do that, my life is really out of balance. Because if I do live to 80 and I did, and I put five of those on the calendar a year, right. That would be 150memories that I'm creating and moments that I'm creating. If you do it at 35 years old, then you have another 75 memories. You have over 200 memories that you're creating. But if you don't do it, think of the loss. No, seriously, I'm dead serious, think of the loss. Because so that's how I look at it, man. I would like, you know, take advantage of the opportunity that you have at this age and the people that you know to create amazing, to build your life resume. It's what I talk about all the time. You know, it's like you have the work resume. But so what? That means nothing if you're not building up your life resume.

Yeah.

And those moments are the things. There's only two kinds of moments, man. Like the moments that happen. Not to preach, but like the O.J. simpson you remember during where O.J. was when, during the chase, or 9, 11, you know, exactly where. You never forget that, but you didn't control that just happened. There are moments like that where you have no control over, that you just remember because they're so vivid. And then you have the moments that you have control over. Like the Kevin rule that you, you know, that you circle, that you create, that you put in a position to happen. And that's, you know, kind of how you build this life resume. And that's what I would tell. That's what I hope my kids do. You know, I hope they have a life filled with memories.

And you told me this on the last time on the podcast, I believe you said that you take three hours for yourself every day. Is that still true?

Mm.

Even with four kids and wife and businesses and travel and everything, you still take roughly three hours a day for just the things you want to do.

Not roughly three hours.

I mean, at least is that in the morning or is it just.

It's cumulative. So it could be 45 minute walk in the morning, 20 minute sauna, sit on the couch and do nothing but.

Hang with friends, whatever.

Yeah, but that's my time. And when I'm in that zone, I'm not guilty that I'm not with my wife or kids or at work or anything. But the flip side is when I'm at work, because I've had that time, I'm not guilty that I'm not with.

You know, you're not thinking about what you're gonna do on the weekend or whatever. Yeah.

And the reason is because, like, if. If my wife or my employer or whoever took away the things that I like to do during the, during the day, I resent them. I mean, I'd be so mad at Sarah if she said to me, you can't run, we gotta go, you know, do this or you gotta do, I'll do it, but let me, let me, allow me to do what I need to do. For me, that's 10% of the day. It's not. I mean, I'm talking about like I'm taking 80% of the day. For me, it's just a small piece of the pie chart of the day, but it's cumulative and I'm aware of it when I'm in that time.

Yeah, I think it's really beautiful. That stuck with me because if you don't have a couple hours a day for yourself, you don't have a life. It sounds like if you're not creating this life resume and circling things on the calendar every couple of months for you to do that you're excited about, then you don't have a life either. You're just running through the motions.

I think so, yeah. Well, I think it leads for. I think that the more interesting, the more experiences you have, the more you can offer. The more experiences you have, the more you can offer. And I think by building this life resume, I think it can also help you land your dream job. You become more Interesting. It, it can help you accelerate at the job that you're at. It's a lightning rod. People want to talk about. Oh wait, I'm interested. I want to interview you about your trip to Hawaii. Now you told me you went and lived with, you did meditation and lived with monks and a clarity. Tell me that's interesting to me. I'm already want to take you out to dinner. I want to talk about that and learn from that. And I mean just from you saying that to me in one second. So imagine if you're sitting at the conference room at work when everyone's going through the motions and you're like, no, for my vacation I didn't go sit at the beach at the Hilton. I went and I journeyed across blah blah blah and did this and blah blah.

What built schools with kids. Something else.

Yeah, right. All the things that you're doing.

I just interviewed James the Iron Cowboy and he talked about happiness for him is the ability to endure suffering. It's like the more that you can endure pain and suffering in a safe container. Right. The more you can take on life's adversities and challenges and not let everything affect you 247 and you can have more happiness when you go through struggle is what his ideal of that was. I thought it was an interesting perspective. He's like when you force pain upon yourself. This is a guy who did 50 Ironman triathlons in 50 days in 50 different states. And when you can force that, I believe that you can really overcome any challenge. And the day to day stresses don't overwhelm you as much. I don't know, what do you think of that?

I think you learn a lot, a lot from pain. I think that we're wired for comfort and we seek comfort, we run away from pain.

That's why you had a Navy SEAL live with you.

Yeah, and I've gone through my share of pain. My pain has been self induced too. It's been physical. I ran 100 miles, it put me in a wheelchair nonstop and it put me in a wheelchair for four days. I can relate to what he's saying for sure because I think there's tremendous growth there. But it takes a really disciplined person to go to a place of consistent pain for growth. And I'm not disagreeing with him because I think that there's validity in there. But for me, I find that an equal amount, if not more growth comes from simply stepping into the unknown. So that could be an entrepreneur taking the journey, taking the leap into a space that they're not aware of. It could be I'm going to go live. I'm going to go run my first marathon, Although I've never done that before. It's uncharted territory. That's still growth without pain. It's the unknown uncertainty of it all.

Yeah.

Yeah. That I think, really is where the real growth comes from.

What's the biggest personal challenge you've ever faced?

Parenting is just. I think it's one of the hardest things, you know, in what ways? Just. I mean, it's just so complicated. There's no manual. There's no one around to. You know, I have four kids with different personalities, different interests, different wants, different needs, different feelings, fears, different issues. You know, I mean, no one's perfect. I have my own issues. So, I mean, just, like, that's a difficult thing. I love it. It's the most rewarding, but it's. It never stops. Challenges have definitive. Most of them have definitive dates. Like, okay, I'm going to run a marathon on this date, and then it's over.

Yeah. A child is ongoing challenge when they.

Come home and tell you they've been bullied or they had a tough day or they, I can't pick this up, or whatever, and you're looking at your kid, and all you want to do is give them all the answers, but you can't because they got to figure it out themselves. It's hard. And I wasn't. My only training has been being a son, you know, so I've been taught by two people that had their own vision. But now the world's a much different place, you know, so that's been. That's been really hard. I've had partnerships that have been hard in business. I've had setbacks. I had plenty of egg on my face. I remember when my record. When my album came out in the early 90s, I was at an airport in Pittsburgh about to do a show, and I was walking through the airport, and I saw a cover of a big rap magazine, and the headline of it is, are white rappers ruining rap? Ruining hip hop or something. And I was like, whoa. And then I looked down, and it was a picture of me.

No way.

On the COVID Yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, I want to go hide under a rock. And then I read the article, and I was so pissed. I'm like, the writer doesn't even know me. Like, I. Like, I wrote this album when I was in my college dorm room, and it's a reflection of that. I'm not Competing, like, this is, like, this is for me and my friends. If you don't like, you know, like, what do you. I just like all these thoughts, and I'm 21 with no one to call. And, like, that's a hard thing to, like, you know, move past because you think everyone's looking at you and thinking, that's the guy. He's one of, you know. So I've had all kinds of things, but at the end of the day, I mean, I wouldn't trade any of that. I just think, you know, gives you a little bit of thicker skin.

And what did the monks teach you about overcoming personal challenges?

I think. I don't know if it was direct lesson from them, but I think I became very aware of, like, my own mortality through the experience. Through the experience. And I spoke to them a lot about death because my parents are getting older and, you know, I'm getting older. Some of my friends now are coming with, you know, having complications, health complications. And, you know, that's just an inevitable thing with time. As you get older, stuff catches up to people and, you know, you're gonna. You're gonna face that soon. And I hope not. Not you personally. I'm just saying you're. As you get older. And so I had a lot of questions around that because, you know, and they had a lot of. A lot of good advice around it. But for me, that helps me overcome a lot of my fears. Because before I'm gonna. If I'm really, really having a gut check about something, like, man, I'm scared. Shit, I gotta go on Lewis's show, what if people are, like, thumbs downing me? And, you know, I say to myself, really, like. And this. I don't know, man. This is. My wife would probably hit me for saying this, but in a hundred years, nobody watching the show is gonna be here. There'll be a whole. You walk down the street and look at everything going on and all the fears and challenges. Nobody's gonna be here in a hundred years, man. It'll be a whole new wave of Jesse's and Lewis's and this one and stranger, whatever. So who cares if I fall flat on my face?

Yeah.

Like, who cares if the reviews aren't good? Who. That's not. That's gonna stop me because I'm scared of. No one's even gonna know about it in a hundred years that I had this fear or concern. And that very often helps me. Gives me a little bit of a little nudge.

Yeah.

It doesn't always get me over the edge. But it gives me a little bit of like, you can do this in the scheme of the universe. It's okay.

Why was death one of the main things you talked about or that was coming up for you?

I just think again, as a parent and as a son and seeing some of my friends now that have like, just starting to get diagnosed with stuff and having complications. I've never really dealt with grief on that level. I like a knock on wood. I've had a really charmed, lucky, blessed my parents are alive. I say this to Sarah all the time, like, look at our existence today. You know, kids are healthy, you're healthy, I'm healthy. Parents are like, doesn't get better than this.

Yeah.

Like at 50, this doesn't get better than like, like this. And not talking about money or any. I'm just talking about people in your life feeling. Yeah. And it's just. There's an inevitable timeline, man. You know, and when you reverse engineer your life Again, I'm 50. If I reverse engineer my life and don't say, what am I doing next week? But where AM I in 10 years when I'm 60, okay. Now my parents are 98. My grandma is 105. Sarah's grandma is 105. The world's a different world for us than it is right now. So I wanted to know fast forward, they've been through it. They've helped people. I've never experienced that. Help me deal with it now so I can prepare myself. I'm prepared for a lot of things, man. I try to make myself as bulletproof as I can for certain things. Right. Eat healthy, you exercise, you have great relationships. You know, you become bulletproof in your own world through these relationships that are long standing, etc. But I'm not prepared for that kind of stuff. I've never had to deal with it on a close real level. So you know why? When I go to the Masters and be like, you know, what did they say? They said how you deal with it is a lesson for others. You have a responsibility of how you deal with that stuff where it's a lesson and a blessing for others, the way you handle it. And I was like, wow. And that made sense to me. And they look at death as a passage. It's just a passage. So they almost celebrate life and celebrate the fact that this is just a passage into something probably better not as this.

No massive loss is grieving. My life is over, not at all is ending. It's gonna take me years to overcome this.

Correct. We're a vessel. We're here for a reason. Yeah.

And so it's more of a celebration. I'm sure there's some grieving that happens and a process of longing and missing. But then they say it's more to celebrate that process.

Right. And there's a dignity in it. You know, listen, it's a really tough topic because people that are grieving, everybody grieves differently. Of course, everybody takes time, has different periods of grieving, periods I'm not an expert on. Like I said, I'm trying to learn, and if they can give me some guidance and I talk to my friends that have been down that path about it. And it's not something that you would normally talk to people about death. I have several friends from high school that have lost their parents that were that, like, when raised me as a kid, you know, through their houses, they lost their parents. And like, we don't talk about it, but now I do, you know, and they love it. And I'll share. I'll be like, I remember I was with your mom and, you know, we went to a flea market. She was negotiating for these jeans. It was unbelievable. And then it makes them feel good and it keeps the spirit alive. So I think it's important to have those kind of. Kind of conversations. I don't know, man. Like I said, this 50 thing is hitting me. I don't know, man.

I'll tell you, 35 started to hit me though, too, because I always felt like this young, you know, kid. I was in my 20s. I was always like the young guy in the industry. And then I hit 30 and I was like, okay, I'm still like, you know, relatively young, but 35 is closer to 40. It was the first time I really was like, wow, I'm getting older. It hit me as, like, I'm getting older now, and I'm not this the young 23, 4 year old in this space anymore or in, you know, business anymore. I'm getting up there and it may reflect a lot of these things, just like urgency as well. Again, I'm not 50, so I'm not living in this. That different of a space with four kids. But I'm still like, I want to do things now because tomorrow's not guaranteed for me.

Right.

Let alone 50. Like, tomorrow's not guaranteed. And that's what I try to reflect on as much as possible is. I mean, hopefully I'll be here for a long time, but tomorrow is not guaranteed. And I don't want to hold onto grudges or regret or frustration or resentment towards people or myself. I want to be free in my heart, and that's the goal.

Listen, we live in a world of routine because routine is comfort. You talked about the Iron Cowboy, talking about getting uncomfortable in pain, but pretty much all of us, myself included, we live in a world of routine. Routines are comfortable, but routines can be a rut. And when you're in a routine, the clock goes fast. It goes fast. I was 35 yesterday. When you're in a routine, get up, get the kids ready, take in the carpool, go work, come out, boom, day over, next day, it's like. And then. And then if you don't get out of the routine and take advantage of those five weekends a year, creating whatever, you wake up and you're 60 and 70 or 50 or 40 or whatever, and you're like, man, my knee's messed up. I can't. I always wanted to do that, but now I can't do that, man. I'm. You know, like. You just don't know. It's just like I said to Sarah, I want to run this race called Badwater.

I've heard of it. Yeah.

It's 135. Whatever.

Is this the one running on the Sun? That documentary?

Yeah. In Death Valley?

Yeah. Bad Water.

Yeah. And she said to me, well, aren't you concerned? She's like, don't do it. Just. Aren't you concerned about, like, when you're 75, your hips and your knees? And I'm like, you think I'm worried about 75 right now? Like, 75. Get me to 75. I mean, like, I'll be more angry at 75 that I didn't do it now. And then if I wait four or five years to think about it, to see how my. Now I'm 55.

You might have knee problems or something.

Exactly. And that's my point. It's like, you know, it's urgency, and it's. It's like taking advantage of those opportunities while you can before they go away.

Who is the most influential person in your life growing up? And what was the biggest lesson they taught you?

Well, it would certainly be my dad, without question. But the best lesson I got was from my mom. When I went to college, my mom told me just to. To do everything I could, to try everything at school, like nothing was off limits. Go to every lecture, do every intramural sport, go to every fraternity party, do everything. Meet as many people and. And just figure out what it is that you like to do. Now I still don't know what I want to do or what I like to do, but it did gave me a different view to just expose me to a whole different world that I didn't see growing up in Long Island. And that ended up being a really good lesson for me. But my parents have both been great influences on me.

What would you say is the biggest lesson your dad taught you?

He just gave me so much freedom to try to do whatever I wanted to do. And, like, you know, he. I think he really supported my failures, and I had plenty, you know, and congratulated me on the attempt rather than the outcome.

Interesting. Okay. But at some point, you got to make money. So if you keep attempting something and you never make money, you've got to figure out a solution. Right. Or.

Well, you don't have to make money if you're happy.

That's true.

But. But, yeah, Right, right.

Well, if you're starting a business, you can't just fail over and over.

Right.

You got to eventually be profitable. I would say you do pay overhead, pay your employees. Yeah, of course. Gotcha. Gotcha. That's cool, though. They gave you that freedom, that curse.

The relationship between you and money is an important dynamic.

Of course.

You know what I mean?

Absolutely. Yeah, of course. Absolutely. Very cool. So what happened after the music success? You know, you're reinvesting and you sold a company. Did you stay in the music world? Did you?

So we branch out. Well, we sold the company to a public company.

Yeah.

And the owner of this pot of the public company guy named Bob Silliman at SFX had a private jet and invited my partner and I on a trip. We were the youngest company that he bought as far as. We were 25 or 26 years old when we sold the company, and he took a liking to us, kind of like young guys invited us on a trip and went on a private jet. And as soon as we got on the plane, we kind of looked at each other and, like, how in the world do we do this more often? Like, how do we get this right? And ultimately, that one trip led to a private jet business that we started called Marquee Jet.

Unbelievable. I think I went to a Marquee Jet party at a Super bowl and the Tampa Bay Super Bowl. There was a party there. It was Marquee Jets. I think it was, like. I'm not sure when this was.

Oh, I remember five, six years ago, maybe more. It was seven years ago. Yeah.

2009, maybe.

Maybe more. But, yeah, I think it was 2009.

When did you guys launch marquee jets?

01.

01. Gotcha. Gotcha. Okay. Yeah, I remember that. And being like, wow, this is a pretty sweet party.

Yeah, that was like, our annual.

That was cool. Yeah. Amazing. So you just decided that you're gonna launch a jet company?

Well, we had the idea because we wanted to use it.

Right.

So, like, you know what? Even if no one else signs up for this thing and we can fly on a private jet, that would be a win.

But it's a completely different skill set and business and industry that you didn't have any experience in, I'm assuming. Right.

I mean, that's kind of a theme for me. I mean, I think one of the things that I look back on my life, and I was in music, I was in private jets, I've been in coconut water and all these different things. Sports. Is that I had no prior experience in any of that. And it ended up being the best blessing for me because no one taught me or told me how to do it. So it was guaranteed that it would be done differently.

Interesting.

And that was, you know, it guaranteed that it would be creative and different and unique. So, no, neither my partner and I or I had any background in. I mean, we couldn't even make a paper airplane. Right. And we didn't have money to buy a plane.

So you weren't a pilot either, I'm assuming.

No. No.

Okay.

But we had an idea.

You had a passion for it.

We had an idea. And intuitively, I think we both knew it would work because we knew if we wanted to use this product that probably a lot of people would want to use it, and how could we make it more affordable and bring it to the masses?

So what did you do? Tell me the problem and what the solution was, you guys.

Well, the problem was there was only three ways to fly privately at the time. You could buy your own airplane, which is incredibly expensive. It takes out 99.9% of the world. You could buy a fraction of a plane, which is like a timeshare, which is also very expensive. And it's a long commitment. And that's not what. We don't want to put a couple of million dollars in for multiple years. We wanted to take, like, three trips a year with our friends to golf.

Yeah.

Or you could charter a plane. And there's all kinds of questions about, like, well, who owns the plane? Who's flying the plane? What if the plane doesn't show up? You know, inconsistencies. So we were like, if we could just offer a 25 hour solution with none of the responsibilities of owning your own plane. You have to manage it, you have to schedule it. You just like call on demand. It shows up and you prepay for it and just work off the hours it will work.

It's like the Uber for planes.

Yeah. But there was one problem.

What?

We didn't have any planes.

Okay.

So we once we had the idea and we had it all kind of baked, we had to go find out, find someone that could lend us a fleet of airplanes. Right.

How many did you want to start with?

Well, we sat next to each other like you and I are doing. My partner asked me how many people you think would buy this that you know, and I said I could probably sell 3. 15. He said, all right, put me down for 15. I said, we need enough to hold 30 people.

Wow.

And we went to NetJets, which is owned by Warren Buffett and, and Berkshire. And with this idea.

Are they based out of Columbus?

Yeah.

Whenever I fly in, I see big.

Net jets on and had this meeting to pitch this idea that was going to change my life and they threw us out in about 10 minutes.

Why?

I think the direct quote is, sounds cool. If you guys think I'm giving two 27 year olds my fleet of airplanes, it's not happening.

You're out of your mind. Yeah.

And. But his partner came out after the meeting and said, that was a great meeting. I said, what are you talking about? We got thrown out in 12 minutes. He said, Rich Santulli, the CEO, doesn't give anyone 12 minutes. And so if you guys kind of just do this, change this, do this, come back, come back, let's try it again. So we did, but instead of coming back with a deck, we brought in our own focus group. We literally just lined up like eight shares of athletes, entertainers, agents, people afford it. Right. And one by one, they stood up and explained why they wouldn't buy their own plane, why they wouldn't buy a NetJet fraction, and why they would buy this card. Wow. And we got a deal. And then a year later, you know, we were, I think we had more customers than NetJet.

No way. Oh my gosh. That's a brilliant that you brought people in that you were able to enroll that your friends into coming in and supporting you.

Yeah, no. Wow. It was great.

And they were all on board because they wanted to use the product.

Yeah. No. Yes.

They don't want to buy first class and wait in line for an hour or two or whatever.

Right.

Or pay Millions. Interesting. Amazing. That's really cool. And how long did you have that company for until you.

We had it in 01. We ramped it up to 5 billion in sales and sold it in 09 to Berkshire.

Amazing. Congratulations. That's big. I love it. Okay, and so during that time, then you got connected with. With Zico, right?

Yeah. So in 2006, I decided to raise money for. For a bunch of charities that were important to me. And I didn't want to do it the way, you know, at the time I was going all these golf dinners for charity and, you know, banquets and all this stuff, and it was just like the same thing. So I decided I was going to run 100 miles to bring awareness and raise money for these charities. And I picked the date on my calendar and said, I'm gonna start training today. And during the process, I. I did a lot of research on like, well, what do you drink?

Right.

What do you eat if you're gonna run for 20, basically 24 hours.

Yeah, yeah.

And I stumbled upon coconut water. And I became literally like the human guinea pig for coconut water. And I ended up finishing the race and I didn't cramp. And I was like, wow, this is the fountain of youth. Like when other people discover what I just discovered, you know, to like a regular guy that's not a great athlete and just ran 100 miles. This thing, this thing's got some legs to it. So I spent a year, I went to Jamaica, I traveled to Brazil, tried to figure out, like, you know, can I import this? How does the whole beverage game work? And. And realized that I wasn't wired and I didn't have the energy to start from, you know, scratch. Yeah, from scratch. Learn the ropes. Like, the category was starting to move too fast. Yeah. And the learning curve would be too great for me.

Yeah.

And my energy level wasn't there at this point in my life. So I ended up partnering with a guy named Mark Rampola's a rock star who founded Zico.

And so he already had the brand.

He had the brand? Yep, he had the brand. They were about. They were doing about, you know, four or five million dollars in sales. And we went to Coca Cola. I had gone to Coca Cola with this idea originally to see if they would kind of be my netjets, they could provide.

Gotcha.

The back office stuff. Anyway, we did a three way partnership. Me, my. My company, which was the 100 Mile Group, Zico and Coca Cola, three way partnership. And then we sold, you know, grew it. Sold it three Years later. To Coke.

To Coke. Amazing. Unbelievable, man.

Yeah, it was good. And it was, you know, it was a great product at the right time, and I really believed in it. And Mark did a great job with the company.

It was a great product. Yeah. I mean, there's so many competitors now.

There's so many coconut brands, like 250 different beverages that use coconut water. Yeah.

Unbelievable. It tastes so good, though, like you said. Right. So. So tell me, how did you. How did the whole I want to own an NBA team come about then?

How does this, again, like, wasn't planned. I live in Atlanta. I'm a season ticket holder, huge basketball fan. I had the past experience having, you know, done a lot of these songs for the NBA teams in my past life and. Which ultimately became more like ad campaigns and theme and. And real slogans and way more than just a theme song. So I had a little bit of background and kind of how game operations work and, you know, what you do at a timeout and how the interview in arena operations work. But I'm a big fan. I was season ticket holder at the Hawks, and I was a consultant to the Hawks for about a year, really, prior to this. And when the team became for sale, I fell so in love with the product, the players. The players, the coaching staff, the employees, the brand, the community that I just put my hand up, really, in a big way and said, I want to be involved. And surprisingly, not a lot of people in Atlanta did. And I was just lucky enough to hook up with a small group of friends, and we got it. Wow.

It's the three of you, or is it?

Well, there were four. We started out with. There were four of us. And now there's about. I think there's about 14 total owners.

Gotcha.

Yeah, gotcha.

So you, like, raised a fund, essentially, and there's, like, a few.

Yep.

That started.

Gotcha.

And your wife's one of them, right?

Yep.

And how did that come about? Were you guys connected?

My wife and I, yeah. She was a customer at Mark E. Jet.

Okay.

And she came to a customer appreciation event, and we became friendly and wow. You know, sort of like how I got my record deal. Like, I had to kind of break through the clutter. So before I ran the hundred miles, I called up her office. She's an entrepreneur. She has a company called Spanx, which is women's shapewear.

It's huge, right?

Yeah. And I called her PR person and asked if she would connect me to Sarah. And they said no. And I said, well, could you tell her that I want to run. I'm running this 100 mile race and I want to do it in Spanx to get some publicity for her brand. If she's interested, she'll make a donation. And I married her a year later.

Amazing. So did she make the donation or no?

No, but we've got married.

Exactly. That's cool.

Better than a donation.

So did she hear about it before you went in the race or after you did it?

Before, no, her PR person, as she would tell the story. Sarah, another lunatic's on the phone. This time it's someone saying he wants to run 100 miles in a pair of Spanx.

And that caught her attention?

Yeah, I mean she's. She's married enough.

Yeah. Gotcha, gotcha. Very cool. So did you guys connect before the race though or no?

Yeah, we were friendly, but we really started dating after the race.

Interesting. She was like, a guy loves my brand this much, I'll go out with him. Right?

Right.

I love it.

Yeah.

Okay, so I want to talk about the book now. I love your story. I love what you've created. You know, you're like the representation of someone who creates something from nothing with everything you do. And for me, that's really inspiring. And I think it's inspiring for a lot of people that are listening because most people don't believe they can create something from nothing. And you create big things from nothing, which I think is really cool. And you didn't have like the education for all these things. Right. You didn't go to like the school specifically for music or for owning a NBA team or any of these things. Right. You just learned as you went, which I think is really cool and admirable. Why? Why the point of having a SEAL live with you? This is. This book's called living with a seal. 31 days training with the Toughest man on the Planet. And I watched a few videos on this guy. He's a freak. But why did you decide to. To have him live with you on theme?

It wasn't planned. I was at a race in San Diego that I was doing with five friends. It was a 24 hour relay race where we each turns running a leg of the race.

Is it San Diego to LA and back or something?

No, it was actually a 24 hour race on a 1 mile unlimited dark parking lot. And we were doing it just to kind of get out of New York and have fun and whatever. And at the start of the race and the race was unsupported, which means that you have to Completely bring all your own supplies. They'd provide nothing. Right. They provide the track, essentially a track and, you know, a chip in your shoe to clock your time. Right. And, you know, I. I was coming off marquee jet, so our supplies were, like, loaded.

Yeah.

Trucks and stuff came up. And there were campers, everything, luxury masseuses.

And tents, acupuncture set up.

Yeah, we had, like, lights under our thing. The guy to my left was running the entire thing alone. And his supplies, he had three, 24 hours. Yeah, he had three supplies. He had a fold up chair that he sat in, one bottle of water, and a bag of crackers. That's it for 24 hours. Yeah. And he was about 280 pounds and of, like, muscle. And I'm looking at this guy, I'm like, what? It made no sense. And at mile seven, so I kept my eye on him during the race. And at mile 70, about. Because of his weight. 77 0. Yeah, because of his weight. He had broken all the small bones in both of his feet because of all the, you know, the. All the pounding and because he had only eaten crackers. When he sat down on his folding chair, all the blood that. That was from the run rushed down. Blah, blah, blah, blah. He had basically a kidney failure. He was peeing blood.

Oh, my gosh.

So he was done. And till he wasn't done, I watched him get out of the chair, peeing blood, and with all of his broken bones taped up, run 30 more miles.

No way.

And I was like, who is this guy and what in the world makes him tick? So I googled him after the race.

Did you say hi to him or connect with him?

He wasn't a say hi to guy.

Wow.

He was. He was a don't with me guy.

Right.

And so I got his number off of his bib, looked at the race results, googled them, and learned that he has this, like, amazing backstory. He was a Navy Seal. He lost £100 in 60 days before he reported to Seal, to Buds, to training camp. He gained the weight back, and then after he graduated and then lost a bunch of friends in a helicopter crash and decided to Google the 10 hardest things in the world to do to raise money for the kids of the fallen soldiers, and literally became the best endurance athlete on the planet. He broke the Guinness Book of Worlds records for most pull ups in a day. He did 4030 in 17 hours.

Oh, my gosh.

He's run multiple ultra marathons, won multiple races. I mean, I can't even explain what this guy. So anyway, I cold called him. I'm like, I got to meet this guy. Flew out to meet him. And like, 10 minutes into our. Our meeting, I'm like, you know what? All the different buckets of my life would be better if whatever this guy has rubbed off on me, like, whatever made him get out of that chair. I want that in work, I want that at home. I want that in my training. I want that to give that onto my kids, like, everything, right? So I just asked him if he would live with me for a month, if he would move in with me and my family, and three days later, he's at my breakfast table. Wow.

Okay. And was there a format, a structure? Because you're a busy guy, you're traveling a lot, you're, you know, probably not at home that much. So what was it like? You know, were you like, I'm going to be at home this whole time.

Right. So the rule was, comes to you.

With work or he just stays at home.

He shadowed me everywhere I went.

Everywhere, every 24, seven, except for bed, everywhere. He didn't sleep? No.

He's up to the room next to us, up to my house. And, you know, the only thing he said, the only condition before he moved in was that I had to do anything that he said and that nothing was off limits. And if I didn't do it, he'd leave.

Right. And obviously with respecting your family and, you know.

No, not really.

No.

I mean, it was like he.

He.

I mean, when he first moved in, the first he comes into the house, and he has a little knapsack for 30 days. If I go away for 30 days, I'm checking two bags.

Yeah.

He has this little, like, huck fin.

For 30 days with all his clothes.

And everything and his whole life in the bag. And I said to him, his name is David Goggins. So if you're listening and you know him or you want to Google him, I said, in the book, I refer to him as Seal. But now, you know, he's out there. So he came to the house, and I said to him, you know, hey, here's your room. You know, I'll show you around. Make yourself at home. And, you know, my home is your home for the next 30 days. And he said, no, no. He said, I don't have a home. And I said, no, make yourself at home. It's an expression. And he said, I don't operate in expressions. Wow. And that was sort of like, okay, let's start. That was kind of our opening act.

No. Settle again. No. Yeah.

And then we went down to the gym five minutes into the, into our 31 day journey. And he said, I want to see how many pull ups you can do. So I said, all right. So I guess to kind of get a level of like where I was at and I am not a strong guy. So I did maybe eight pull ups and then I dropped down. And he said, all right, wait 30 seconds and do it again, do it again. So I waited 30 seconds, got back up on the bar. I did like six. He said, all right, one more time. And now like I'm starting to feel it, you know, like I, I don't think I can even get back up on the bar. And I get, I get three, but three, like, you know, kicking my chin over, like whatever I could do to get over the bar. So I said, all right, what's next? He said, what's next is we're going to stay here till you do 100 more.

Oh my God. And I said, doing one at a time.

Yeah. And I'm like, come on, man. Like that's great on paper, but I physically can't do a hundred more. And that was our start of many lessons that I learned because I ended up doing it one at a time. And what he taught me was that so many of our limitations are self imposed, you know, and we set, we set something up in our brain. We program our brain one way and that's our limit. And until we can get past that and see what we're really made of and like get uncomfortable and experience pain, you can't really, you don't, really don't know what you're capable of.

Yeah.

So that was a really good, good lesson for me. And every day was a lesson like that.

Seems like, Sarah, you've had one idea that you've stuck with for 15 or 18 years with Spanx, and you create new ideas within the one idea.

I do, which is just a different model. I do. I shared with Jesse and he knows this. I have other ideas. So I have 99 pages, single space, typed of ideas, and I email them to me myself the minute I have them. And it's 99 pages right now, which is just funny. My assistant keeps going, have you run out? Like, can we hit 100 pages? But I end up just. It's so much more important to me. Instead of actioning on them instantly, it's more important to me to not lose them. I think an idea is a gift from the universe and I cannot take for granted that I might Forget it. So the second I have it, I email it to myself. I used to keep it in notebooks, but now I do email, and they're there, and then I revisit them, and then they will come out of. They will come out like my belly art book had nothing to do with Spanx. And that was an idea that was on that 99 pages. And some of them will knock on the door enough that I'll say, I'm gonna find the extra time to make them happen.

How many ideas do you think that is on 99 pages? Is that a thousand? Is that 10,000? Is that 500? What is that range, do you think?

I don't know.

I don't know. But, you know, it's interesting because we're both entrepreneurs with completely different styles. So Sarah's really good. We're both very add. Sarah's very good at staying on one thing. Saying no to stuff. Mono, tasking, being single, focused. And I have to. I like to operate in a completely different style. I need a lot of balls in the air at once. I need to bounce around from thing to, you know, from one thing to another. It's just the way I operate. I operate better with more balls in the air. So everybody has their own style, and over time, you figure out what it is that works the best. But, you know, Sarah's really disciplined. She's very disciplined, and she works it. She looks at things through a unique lens. It's always customer first. It's always focused on value. It's always focused on. She goes right to the story and how she can articulate this to the customer. And I'm ready for Irene. I'm like, I gotta start before anybody else starts. And I'm gonna figure it out as I go. Just different styles.

Yeah.

I mean.

Are you friends with Buffett, Sarah?

Yes.

Isn't he the guy who said the quote, like, successful people and really successful people do things a little bit differently. They say no more than successful people or something like that.

Yeah. It's funny, when just we were talking, his quote came to my mind. But there is a Warren Buffett quote that says, you know, the most successful people in life have one thing in common, their ability to say no.

And you say no a lot to many things.

I have to. I have to. But it doesn't mean that, you know, another style of creating things in the world is any less. It's just. It's interesting. I have. I am very disciplined in what I focus on.

I'm kind of like. I probably say, I'm in between both of you. Like, for me, for me, like, I want to create stuff all the time and launch something quickly and put it out there. But then I'm also like, well, you can't truly build something. An empire and something magical for the long term if you're just jumping from one thing to the next. Whereas you have been disciplined for decades on building this global brand that just is so inspiring. And both are fun. It's like. But you get to create your creative expression over here, the Jesse style. But you. It's. You get to create something magical. You know that stance so well. I.

You know, it's. The two ways to look at it is. I also look at Jesse's life as so magical because. No, because literally, I'm like, honey, you went. You became top of the field in rap. He was like, on MTV and, you know, had hits in the top, whatever. And then he went from that to a jet company and did really well, which is so different than rap music. And then he goes from jets to coconut water and is really successful there. And that, you know, and now he's doing. He's an author and he's a motivational speaker. So to me, like, that's really fascinating that he's been able. It's very unique to find someone who's. It's not that hard to find people who've jumped from sector to sector to sector. It's hard to find people who've mastered or kind of been top of the game in all those different ones. So I always look at him and think, oh, my gosh, that's really. Makes for a colorful life. Like, I've been plotting along on my own journey. But he's not.

You're doing quite fine, sweetie.

He's got a colorful life. He does have a million stories.

But you've got. When I was starting out in business, my philosophy was say yes to everything. Because, you know, that's so interesting. Well, it is, because it was laughing at jokes that aren't funny, going to everything. Listen, it was my jokes that you laughed at. It was. I had nothing show up to every meeting. I had to build a network. I had to get out there. I had to be someone that want. I want an invitation. Everything. I'm serious. Because I didn't have the resources. So for me, I had to say yes to everything. If there was an event, I'm going. Because there could be a buyer, there could be someone that. A connection. If there was a basketball game, I'm going. I don't know who's going to be in the audience. So it was yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. When you get married and you have kids and you evolve, your system has to evolve with it. So what worked for me when I was 20 years old, you know, I had dinner when I was at 11 o' clock at night in New York City. Now we have dinner at 5:30 at night. As you evolve, your system has to evolve. So I have said I am starting to say no to things. And you know, I have a very simple test, Louis. And for friends and for business, I want low aggravation for the highest reward like everybody else. When I'm young, I'm willing to go high aggravation for high reward. But now that reward isn't worth it. So I want low aggravation.

Jesse, what's the thing you're most proud of about Sarah that she probably doesn't know about? And I feel like you tell her.

Firing and not just the philanthropy that she does. And she does a lot of that in behind the scenes that no one knows about, that I know about and in front of the scenes. But just how she treats her friends and her family and me and her kids. And it's inspiring, man. It's actually unbelievable. So she's very selfless and very, she puts herself second and that's a great quality. And especially because no one, you know, when you come into to wealth or success, no one teaches you how to do it.

It's like we weren't born a model.

My dad owned a plumbing supply house. You know, I was like we never talked about anything about that. And she's just intuitively just figured out how to do it. She's been joined the giving pledge and all the stuff she's done, it's just unbelievable. And it's not.

Where does that come from, Sarah, and you to, you know, again, you were selling, I think it was fax machines door to door for five or seven years. You didn't have tons of money. And then you became, you know, extremely wealthy. With owning this business and building this successful brand for 15 plus years, where does that generosity come from at such a high level? When everyone wants a donation, everyone wants your time, everyone wants you to coach them, everyone wants you to speak, interview you, everyone wants you. You've got a husband, you've got four incredible kids, you've got all your friends, your family, everyone is expecting more from you. How do you stay humble through all that gratitude?

I'm so anchored in gratitude. I feel grateful that I am a woman in this country born at the right time. I've talked about that a lot, and I feel that when you stay anchored in gratitude for what you have and what you've been able to accomplish, it's. It just. It can't do anything but keep you humble. I mean, there's no reason to be any different. I really believe that, and I've said it before, I think money just makes you more of who you already were. So if you were a jerk, you become a bigger jerk. If you were kind, you become kinder. If you were generous, you become more generous. I can also mention that I've never been doing this for the money, you know, so the money has been a byproduct of following a passion. I did want independence as a woman, so I did. That was important to me. I didn't want to be financially dependent on anyone. But beyond that, it wasn't like I'm not driven by material success, really. I like experiences, and I like, you know, things. Things that can help me spend more time with people I love. But I think that also made it easier for me not to get completely, wholly consumed by the sparkle of it all, because it was never really about the sparkle on, you know, like, shiny new car and all of that.

For me, I have an inside look into Sarah's lifestyle. It's fascinating. You know, as an entrepreneur watching, as a marketer, it's just unbelievable. I've never seen anything like it. But her decision making is so unique. And for most of us, we make decisions based on, as entrepreneurs, ROI, return on investment. And for 99.9% of the listeners, that's the bottom line. ROI is I put this much money in, I get this much money out. She looks at ROI through a completely different lens. It's roi. It's never. It's not really the bottom line, of course. It's factored in it's experiences. It's how I treat people. ROI could be the gift she gives to our kids in the form of cooking dinner every night. You know her ROI special?

Pancakes.

No. But if you look at your return on investment across a bigger platform than just what we normally look at, and that's her lens. So I think it's really interesting you.

Talk about this, Louis, but there's pillars in life, right? So success is. There's different kinds of success, and so there's monetary success. That's one bucket of your life. You know, there's success in your friendships and your relationships. There's success in how you are and behave in the community and what you're Contributing. There's success in. Are you healthy and strong? And do you take time to eat the right things and work out? And so I've kind of always had all of those pillars in my mind also. And I think it's easy for people to get so singularly focused in one pillar, and that makes their whole life off kilter, I think.

One more thing. I think. I think that's a really.

It's good. I love it.

Really good point. Because, you know, people. Success to me, and everyone has a different definition of success, but when I look at success, it's being good in multiple buckets. Like Sarah just said, success. Like, when I was a kid, I remember going into meetings and I would sit and I'd be in awe of these people that had so much wealth that I was trying to do. You know, I was a young kid, 23, 24, sitting in boardroom meetings. And as I got older, those superheroes, my superheroes, some of them turned out to be unbelievably amazing humans, but others I started looking at, it's like, man, you're just rich.

I don't like a nice person.

Yeah, right. So success is. It's being good in multiple buckets, and that's where we put our energy. We try to be good parents, and we got plenty of flaws, man. We try to be good parents, we try to be good husbands and wives, good kids. We. Both of our parents are both alive. So investing in, you know, time with them and it's. It's exhausting, man, because there's so many buckets as you get older.

This is what I want to ask you about, the question about energy. And, you know, you have. Yes, you have, you know, financial abundance, right? Financial stability. But you still have four kids. You still have hundreds or thousands of employees and people counting on you, people asking questions all the time, people wanting from you. And you could. You'd have all the help in the world. You could have all the tutors and nannies and cooks or whatever may be, but still, it consumes so much energy of your time, your thoughts and your attention. How do you guys manage energy? Because I can only. I mean, I've got. I don't have kids. I've got a passionate Latina, which is a lot of energy I've got to have. But it's like, I've got a small team, you've got a big team. How do you. And it's exhausting for me sometimes. So how do you guys manage energy?

Like you said, you have to really think prioritize delegate what you can and let it go and not be too mentally hard on yourself. And as your bubble grows, you invest the time in hiring your weaknesses. So whatever. Where are your weaknesses? And find the best talent. Invest in the talent. And, you know, if you put the right people in place in certain areas, then it will free you up to be able to prioritize your time. And then you have to take the time to do that. Like, even though I have this leader in place, what is the most important thing for me to be focusing on for Spanx? Even though I may or may not have a nanny, what is the most important thing for me to be doing with my children? What's important to me? And I sat down with Jesse and we wrote out, like, what's important for us to be? What is the quality time that we want to have with our children? And just being intentional about those buckets will really help you figure out energy and how to use it and how to make it go farther.

I would add, I think, three things. I think we've spoken about this in the past, Louis, many times. You know, I think the most important thing is to really be present and be where your feet are. So if we're with our kids, we're with our kids. If we're. If Sarah's at work. And, you know, I don't want Sarah to be guilty or resent me, you know, for when she's at work. When she's at work, she's at work, and it's fine. When she's with the kids, she's with the kids. You got to be where your feet are. So we communicate about that. Today I was on. I had to do something for two hours. I said, I let her know I need two hours alone. She was like, no problem. Because I didn't want to feel guilty or. And I don't want her to resent me. So we communicate that. But you got to be mega present two. You go in and out of waves. So, like, we went on a trip to Poland with 10 friends, brothers, amic, best friends, at it, you know, overnight best friends. If I don't speak to the guys for six months, I'm not going to beat myself up. The relationship's still there. So you have to trust the seeds and know that when that you planted and know when it's time for me to jump back into that group of 10, I'm going to be present and everything's going to be. But you can't beat yourself up, that your energy is pulling you somewhere else. That Time will come back, you know, and three is you got to plan. You can't. Like we're not good enough to just wake up and wing it. We plan stuff, man. No, we plan stuff. Like I plan that I'm going to see my parents a certain amount of times a year, then I'm going to go on a certain amount of trips, one on one trips with my kids. We go away once a quarter. We have, we plan a trip alone time. We have date night every Wednesday. I might not see Sarah every single day, every minute of the day during work, but we know Wednesday nights we're having date night. We know we have our family dinners. We know the weekends is our time. So you have to, you know, you have to plan. Otherwise it's, you know, you start to spiral. And when you spiral, it's hard to get out of it.

It's really hard, especially if you're in quarantine. I heard an interview that Oprah did years ago about I'm going to butcher this. But she essentially said at one point she made a decision in her life to throw a big dinner, bring all of her friends and family who've been asking her for money and stuff for years. And she threw this big party, huge dinner, threw it the best food, and gave away cash and cars and gifts and said, I'm bringing you all here. I'm giving you the last thing I'm going to give you. Because I assume for years people just kept asking for more and more and they were never happy and they're never satisfied. This is the general concept on my be butchering it. How do you guys manage the expectations of friends, family, people that are just on social media that ask you for things? How do you manage the energy of people getting angry or upset or getting hurt if you don't do something for them when they think you should or could? Do you guys face that at all?

All the time? It's a great question. I mean, first of all, I don't, I don't get angry at anyone's reaction very time. When people ask for something, you're put in a lose, lose situation. I remember my mother told me and when I was growing up to never lend people money for a lot of different reasons. They'll be let down and why do I have to pay them back? They don't need the money. Or if you do pay them, there's all kinds of guilt and resentment. So one way to handle this, you just, you can give people money and just say, this is a gift, not a loan. But it's really case by case. It's really case by case and situational and. But I'm not gonna lie, man, it is challenging. It is challenging.

And how do you know when someone is, like, truly a friend or versus someone who's, like, always reaches out every year for something, you know, monetarily, let's.

Say, I don't feel like we have that much issue with that.

Oh, that's good.

Yeah. I mean, I personally don't. I don't know how you feel about it, but I think, you know, I think it feels very obvious to us who's a friend and who's maybe someone who's more of an opportunist. But we live our life in such a way that we're not in the situations very often that we're put in these positions. And I stay very true to my core mission, again with my foundation, which is elevating women and supporting women. So it gives me an opportunity to explain or have my team explain why the funds don't make sense to go there and that we'd love to support everyone and everything, but you have to pick a lane, and in order to be effective or possibly make an impact in that lane, you have to give yourself permission again to say no to everything else that isn't in that lane. So that's been very helpful.

What do you think is the skill they should be trying to learn with the extra time that they can create? What's this new skill in an entrepreneurial mindset that they should be thinking about? Maybe they don't have time to call their friends or did this or did that, because they're whatever reason, but they have a little bit of time to create a skill. If you could wish for that for.

One person, what I would say is positive mindset, a skill. So I would say if you are that person and you're at home right now, listen to anything that helps you have a positive frame of mind. Because right now, more than ever, your greatest weapon and the greatest thing that's going to get you through this and maybe determine who really thrives versus who survives through this is going to be mindset. So listening to, you know, I have my favorites. I grew up on Wayne Dyer. You know, there's Tony Robbins, Wayne Dyer. There's so many great up and coming people in this. Louis, your stuff is so positive to listen to. I would do that. There's a lot of golden nuggets that you could learn also right now from other entrepreneurs. But. And then I would say selling as crazy as that sounds. I would learn to sell. I would practice it. I might listen to an audio on selling. I might read a book on selling. I think at the end of the day, selling is really important and selling yourself. So maybe you practice selling yourself. Maybe you get a piece of paper out and you write, why me? What is unique about me? Even if you're feeling so down, there's something that you are unique in the world that you do. And start writing about it on a piece of paper and keep writing about it and get really confident about what you can contribute when this all comes through. And then practice being able to articulate it in a really concise, confident way. And that's going to go farther than a lot of things. I mean, that's really an important, important skill.

Yeah.

I would just add also, if you. For those that only have a couple of minutes, it's a great time to teach your kids certain skills. So one of the things that we've done here at our house is every week we're trying to. Trying to teach our kids one thing. So this week, for example, let's say it's capitals and states. We're gonna learn all the capitals and states and giving the kids one big monthly goal. So for our daughter, it's teaching her how to ride a bike. So I think a lot of people came into the quarantine thinking, oh, my God, I'm going to be home. I'm going to get so much done. And they put a lot of pressure on themselves.

Take that pressure right off.

We have enough pressure. Our parents are older, our kids. We're worrying about our parents, our kids. There's enough pressure to put pressure on yourself that you have to accomplish so much during this time.

Write the book and learn Spanish and whatever.

Right? I came into this thing saying, week.

One, you should have seen our list.

My list was, week one, I'm writing a book. Week two, I'm doing a documentary in a week three, I'm writing my second book. I'm gonna take the 10,000 photos and organize them. Week four, I've done none of it, but at first, I beat myself up about it. And I was like, sarah, we come home. We were like, this is. We wasted the day.

What do you mean we came home? We never left home.

Right in the backyard. But we've surrendered that and said, you know what? Let's get some small wins, man. Small wins. Every day.

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How do I get to be more mentally tough? How do I get to be more consistently disciplined? And that's why I wrote the book, because I wanted, you know, I wanted to share more of him than just like, oh, we ran nine miles, and then he woke me up and we ran seven miles. And I did this many pull ups. Like, you know, that, that comes and goes. I mean, you've had anyone can do the workouts, right.

Mindset behind it.

Yeah, right. I wanted Obi Wan Kenobi on my shoulder all the time. Wow.

So what would you think were the top three lessons that you learned from those 30 days?

31 days.

Sorry.

Well, you know, he. He has this thing called the 40 rule, which is basically when you're, when you're done, when you think, when your brain tells you you're done, you're really only 40% done.

Oh, my gosh.

But the reality is we're all wired, so the first time we experience pain or discomfort, our brain says the signal taps you on the shoulder because doesn't want you get hurt.

Yeah.

And. But if you ignore that tap on your shoulder and keep going, you can do so much more.

Sure.

So that was a really good lesson, and I kind of learned that with the pull ups.

But when's the limit? The limit? Like, once you put that, you know, 60% more or 40% more, you got to find out. Keep going until you break an arm or until you go to the hospital or.

Depends on who you are.

Right.

I think.

Did you ever hit that limit where you had to go to the hospital?

I hit the limit where I physically, just physically could not go on. Like, we were doing push ups one day and I just, I just, just physically couldn't get up, you know, like, do another one. Like, I just, I just couldn't do enough. My mind wanted to do another one. I just felt like I just couldn't do it. Yes, but he could.

He kind of read your energy and was like, okay, now's enough.

Well, we went into the. We went into the steam room once because some of it was just psychological stuff. So we went in the steam room one day and he set the. Maxed out on this on the steam to the highest temperature, like 130. But it felt like it was 180 because it was. Had to be a broken. You know, it was definitely hotter than 100.

It was hot. How long are we in there for?

Well, we. He said, we're going for 30 minutes with one glass of water. And at about 19 minutes. He's like in the corner, like, literally, like whistling to himself.

Shut up.

And I'm like. I said to him, like, goggins, I gotta get out of here. He's like, we got 11 more minutes. I'm like, I gotta get out of here. And before he could answer, I opened up the door and he came in. He came out and he grabbed me, goes, get the back in.

Wow.

And then he looked at me. He's like, you don't look so good. I'm like, man, I don't feel so good. And I was kind of drifting into la la land. Yeah. And he said, we're boarding. I'm like, we're boarding.

Aborting.

We're boarding aboard.

So you didn't. He didn't put you back yet?

He didn't put me back in.

So he kind of saw the limit.

He saw the limit. He also watched me sit in that chair for about three hours afterwards to recover. Yeah.

Drinking coconut water.

Yeah. I mean, we had just rent. We just ran, you know, I was so out of whack from everything we were doing. I wasn't sleeping. And then we went in this heat. I was dehydrated already. The steam, it was like, oh, my. Gross. It was. I couldn't breathe as this.

Plus you're also, mentally, I'm assuming you didn't put a, you know, you didn't put your life on pause during this.

Now I was working full time.

Working full time on multiple businesses.

12 hour day.

Like, then you're full time with your, your, your, your, your. Well, your son. Right. And your wife. So it's not like you're just traveling.

And at the time and building a house. It was crazy. But, but one thing that he, one lesson that he, that he taught me was so important is, you know, I was able to take on all that he was putting on my plate and do more without getting rid of anything. Because what I did was he basically, after a week, looked at my life. He was like a life coach in a weird way. Right. And said to me, I was filling up my calendar with so much non essential stuff. Yeah.

Non productive things.

Because I felt obligated to say yes to lunch meetings. Will you meet this guy for 15 minutes? Will you take this call? And I just didn't want to be like, oh, Jesse's an asshole. He won't take this meeting. Or so I would just do it. And I realized, like, I was losing control of my own time. And like, I lost control of my own time. So I just said, I started saying no to everything, canceling everything. That that wasn't going to really. That I didn't need to do.

Right.

That was other people putting demands on me. And I really started focusing on me. I mean, I think so much of business is a reflection of you and so many of us don't. Don't invest in ourselves.

Yes.

So I drew a little pie chart of my time, of how I want to spend my time. And in my 24 hours, I broke it up into four different sections. And I make sure that every day I have three hours for me. So I can, you know, because I think it's just so important that we put ourselves first. And we really don't. So many of us don't. And you get all these arrows shot at you every day. Bills, problems, friends need this work. The plumber has to come because this is broken. This thing won't start. It's like you're always dodging arrows.

Right.

There's no way around that. But if you don't take the three hours to at least separate yourself from the constant attack of arrows. Crazy fucking bonkers.

Yeah.

So, you know, we're gonna get out.

Of shape, we're gonna feel right. You don't have any self worth or something.

Right.

Interesting. So what are you doing those three hours?

It's my time, so it could be. It could be nothing. And watch tv. It could be exercise for two hours, getting a sauna and read the paper. It could be. Read a book, it could be returning. It's however I want to do it. But it's my time that I control.

Do you schedule that every day? Morning, Is it single, broken up? An hour here, an hour there? Is it at night?

It's three hours together for me. For me. I mean, I'm able to do that. Yeah, I know. You know, a lot of times I'll do two. I'll kill two birds with one stone.

No one else is around. It's just you alone or is it your friend?

No one else is controlling my time.

So you can have friends in that time with you working out or doing.

Yes, but no one. But I'm not going and doing something I don't want to do. I'm not taking calls unless it's an emergency. I'm shut down.

Wow.

Shut down. Now sometimes if I'm training for something or I want to, I'll say, you know what? I'm going to schedule all my calls during those three hours and I'll go for a run or a walk and I'll take Them with me or I'll listen to a podcast during that. So I'm like, all right, you know what? I'm go for a three hour walk, let's just say. And then I'll knock it all out.

Sure, sure. Interesting. Okay, so what are the other three sections of the day you said?

Sleep, family, work.

Sleep, family, work. And how much sleep do you get?

Six or seven.

Six or seven. Okay.

And then the rest depends on. I mean, for me, my bucket's a little bit. My bucket used to be 10 hours of work and two, three hours of family and seven hours and three. You know, it's amazing how much you can do in 24 hours. Think about it. Get seven hours of sleep. Take three hours for yourself is 10. And work a full day, eight hours. You have six hours left of family time. Yeah. And like, that's. Who is. No one. That's a lot of time.

A lot of time.

So you could, I mean, just caught up on everything. But my point is, and that's what I got out of this guy living with me, 24 hours is a long time. And we maximize the time. I would get home at 11 o' clock some nights and we would spend an hour from 11 to 12 working out. If we didn't do it or we had to get more in, every minute was maximized. It wasn't like we were just gonna go and be like, you know what? Let's just go, you know, whatever. No, it was all about being productive with my own time.

Yeah. You know, you talked about habits and routines. What would you say is, you know, and that you kind of got complacent with your routines or they kind of held you back at a certain level. Right. You weren't able to break through a certain level. I talk about habits and routines, about how important they are on this podcast a lot. But it sounds like what I'm hearing you say is that they're important, but every few months or year you've got to switch it up. Is that what I'm hearing you say?

Well, I don't want. I don't want to go against your.

No, it's okay. I mean, I'm curious some of this.

But I think there are times where I would disagree and say that habits and routines are great. They are, but they also could be a rut.

Sure.

And, you know, and once you get to a place where they are a rut and you're not getting better, there's all kinds of, you know, studies on that now. It's all. It also changing it up. And changing up your habit also leaves a little bit to live. To me, getting uncomfortable. Breaking a habit requires a lot. A lot. So if you get in a habit, to get out of that habit requires rewiring your brain. It just. It's just. That's just a fact. And that's hard to do. You know, it's no different than it's just a very hard thing to do. So when I got to that place, I couldn't get out of that rut because I was so deep in my habit. I'd be doing the same run, the same this. And that was my day. I had to work out, I had to run in the morning, I went to work, and we just couldn't get out of it. So for me, it ended up being a rut, and I had to mix it up.

Now, why did you choose your wife? I'm curious about this. Why is your wife your wife?

Well, we both got married. We were both older when we got married. I got married at 40. My wife was 37 when we got married. So it was, you know, for me, the 20s and 30s were fun, super fun. And that's where I was in my life. My head was around fun work. I had to work at nights. Like, nights were really important to me. Yeah, I just wasn't ready. And, you know, there's only three scenarios. Right girl, right time. That's the one. Right girl, wrong time, that doesn't work. And wrong girl, right turn, right time doesn't work. So she was right. Right girl, right time.

Interesting. Why was she the right girl for you?

She said she was, and she still is. She's independent and which. Which I needed. She, you know, she had her own career. She allowed me to have a long leash and freedom to do the things that I like. But we still checked in with each other. Still check in with each other. Values were the same. You know, all. All the stuff that, you know, you check. If you check 8 out of 10 boxes, it's probably a fit.

That's great. And what's the biggest lesson you've learned about yourself through her lens or being married with her? What has she taught you?

Well, You go through different chapters.

Sure.

So marriage for us was before we had kids was one chapter. Marriage with a child was another. Marriage with four is another.

Yeah.

But listen, you know, for me and for her, you're you. You make a commitment. You're in a team. You're in a team. And what I love about marriage is, like, no matter what happens, you gotta hug and make up and move on. You know what I mean? Like, when you're dating, it's like, oh, you. Well, no, you know what? It's not gonna work out when you're married. You got to sort it out and figure it out. And, you know, that's hard, but it's also fun.

Yeah.

Wow.

Okay. How does she inspire you?

We'll see. Louis, I know.

I'm waiting. How does she.

If you want to get on the couch right now, I'm happy to walk.

You through some stuff. Exactly. Yeah. You could be my seal. How does she inspire you to break through your limits on a consistent basis, or does she?

Well, she's. She's an entrepreneur that's made her living putting herself out there. So she's always, you know, not been scared to fail, not been scared to take a chance, and she's. She's lived her life on the edge, right? So she allows me to have the same mentality and encourages me to do stuff like that. So I was telling you before we started recording that about a month ago, I invited the 12, 10 most influential or 10 of the most influential artists. Music. Music artists in my life. That really changed the trajectory of my life when I was growing up and took my. Took me on a whole different course to my house for dinner. And they all came, and I told my wife, I said, sarah, next Friday, you might want to circle your calendar. We're having 10 guests come from, you know, some from the Bronx, some from Queens. And, you know, she. She knows that. That. That's in my DNA, and I know that stuff like that is in her DNA.

Sure. And she accepts you for that.

It sounds like nothing she does will surprise me, and I don't think anything I do will surprise her. Right.

I got you. I like it. What's. I mean, what's next for you? You've had the seal live with you. You've had these experiences. You've been talking about this for a while now and press and everything like that. When do you know? Let me ask you, what's next for you? And how does someone know when they're in a rut and how do they get to get out of it? And how are you going to get out of the next rut you're in? Because it's going to happen, it sounds like, for all of us.

Right? So for me, you know, I love. It's one thing to. I love reading about inspiration and motivation, and, you know, you do it all day long. You encourage people, you motivate people, but it's a completely different thing to live with inspiration and motivation. And I love this because I got so much more out of it than just reading a book that I'm going to continue to do a series of books where I live with interesting people.

Really?

Yeah. So that's brilliant. I have all kinds of ideas and thoughts around what will be next.

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I saw what I wanted to be. It wasn't a guy that won.