You Can't Manifest a New Life with an Old Identity (Here's How To Rewrite Yours) | Jim Curtis

There are so many people who are feeling stuck. I can't manifest anything. I'm not manifesting the life that I want. And it really isn't about changing things. It's being happier and more aligned in flow state despite everything. This framework that I've used with so many people that have broken them out and transformed them into a life starts with release.

He is a transformational coach, author, and one of the leading voices blending neuroscience, hypnotherapy, and spirituality. Please welcome Jim Curtis.

I want to change let them to forgive them. Because once you forgive yourself first and you say, I am going to forgive myself for not achieving, for not manifesting, for letting myself down, you put yourself immediately into more of a flow state.

For someone who feels like they've tried everything around manifesting, they've tried journaling, therapy, affirmations, visualization, hypnotherapy, what's the very first thing that you'd have them do today that's different from everything they've tried? To allow them to start manifesting better?

So here's where I would start to try.

You can't manifest a new life with an old identity. Why is that?

I love this question, mostly because I see people trying to change their behavior, meaning changing their behavior to make more money, changing their behavior to be better in love while protecting an old belief of who they are, their I am.

So an old belief, an old story, or what is that?

Yes, it's the identity that we say that we are, the patterns that have created who we believe that we are, what we're capable of, our likes, our differences. So our identity is really what creates our reality and the way that we look at things. So to step into a new life, we have to be flexible on who we become, who we believe we become.

If we change our behavior, but we don't change the identity, then there's going to be something that's out of alignment. Is that what I'm hearing?

Yes. Meaning you're constantly trying to achieve your behavior, right? I want something new. I got to act differently to have it. But if you're not changing your identity, what's protecting and creating the true behavior, then you're stuck in a repeating pattern of wanting something and never quite manifesting it.

So, if you're more disciplined, you're more motivated, you're waking up earlier, you're eating healthier, you're more disciplined with sales calls, whatever it is in your financial journey, but you're still holding on to, I'm not enough, or, I was abandoned or abused in something, or, I'm never going to find love because I was hurt before, or, Is this business thing really going to work because I'm not good with money? Whatever it is, if you're doing the disciplined actions, but you're holding on to the identity and the belief that you're still not enough—

Yeah.

I'm hearing you say at some point you're going to be in burnout, breakdown, or something bad's going to happen.

Absolutely.

Absolutely. And so, it is this. It is our conscious mind, the 5% of everything that's happening, fighting against the subconscious mind. I've heard a lot of your guests talk about this, but it's the 5% that is the willpower, the go, the get 'em, right? And it's so powerful. It's heavily weighted in those. That 5% is a strong 5%. But in the 95% is who we believe we are, all the things that you said, but there's more. There's this idea of maybe I'm a creative person, maybe I'm not good at math. Someone who's not good at math, they always say, oh God, I'm not good at math, or I'm not a good reader. That's part of your identity. Anything with I am, anything that comes next is your identity. So if you say I'm not good at math or I'm not a good reader, then chances are Your finances are going to suffer. Or your reading, perhaps you're going to be more on TV or more on social media. And so when you try to change those behaviors, you fizzle out, you burn out because the identity says, I'm not good at math.

If someone is unable then to manifest what they want, I've heard you say it's because of hidden programming that stems from childhood or some type of past experience.

Yeah.

Can you explain what that programming looks like for us?

Yeah, this programming that builds everything that we believe in and protect. So the programming in our subconscious mind based on past experiences, often that programming's from, you know, 0 to 7 years old as we're developing, but also programming comes in from really emotional times in our lives, times that we were broken up with, times that we got ill, times that we, you know, were driving a car and almost got into an accident and, you know, it becomes, I'm not a good driver. You know, so those programmings goes into your subconscious mind and it quietly under the covers runs your life.

Yes.

When we start to release those programming by becoming aware of them and then changing the program, we start to align with what we want, right? Getting into blissful alignment with it or falling in love with what we want, blissful alignment. And then we can become it. By reinforcing the identity of the person that has it. And so there are a number of tools to be able to do this, right? Release, align, become.

That's a framework that you talk about in the book, The Book of Possibility. Release, align, become. Can you share this 3-step framework for us?

Yes.

So if we're feeling stuck in our life, if we're feeling like, man, I'm working harder, but I'm not getting the results and I'm experiencing frustration and anger inside of me.

Yeah.

How can we use your 3-step framework, release, align, become, to start attracting the future we want?

I've experienced this with thousands of people now. And if you've noticed, probably there are so many people who are feeling stuck and they're calling it stuck, or I can't manifest anything. I'm not manifesting the life that I want. Or maybe I'll be single forever. Or I'm not good with finances.

I'll always be broke.

Yeah, I'll always be broke. So it's all these beliefs or issues in life, right? And it really isn't about changing things. It's being happier and more aligned in flow state despite everything. So Release, Align, Become, this framework that I've used with so many people that have broken them out and transformed them into life, starts with release. And the release says, what are those hidden beliefs in my subconscious mind that have been quietly controlling my life? Have to build awareness of it. Because without awareness, you can't release anything. You're in a cage, an invisible cage. And then when you start to become aware of those things, oh, it's because this happened. Oh, this story of what my father said to me when I was a child, or this belief started to make me feel not enough or that I wasn't good at something. Then you can start to see the cage.

Yes.

And then the release comes.

So would that be through a process of journaling or writing down these beliefs or these things that you've been holding on to first so you can kind of see them and separate yourself from them?

Yep. Yep. We go through this in the book too. It's a process. It's a 3-step process: release, align, become. And then within each process is read, write, listen. So the way that the book is written and the way that I work with this book is the closest thing to a one-on-one With me, I can't accommodate everybody now. So I wrote this book. So the way that it's written is first we read, and it's written with neurolinguistic programming, cognitive behavioral therapy, and as a hypnotherapist. And so we read the text, and it starts to oh start to change our mindset a little bit. And then we write, and really profound questions that will get your subconscious mind to think, to speak, and somatic exercises like the mirror exercises or cord cutting exercises. So we start to become more aware. aware of what needs to be released. And then listen to the hypno meditations that I've created in the free companion app so that we can change that program within our own mind through visualization, through guides. And so that's the release part.

Okay.

The alignment is, okay, people say what they want, and some people say, I don't know what I want, or I understand what I want, but I just can't get it. And so how do we create a vision for what we want and then fall so in love with it become so clear with it, because I think alignment and love is the same thing. It's blissful alignment. Fall so in love with it that we know exactly what we need to do. Become so clear and so excited about it. And the next part is become. So how do we change our homeostasis? The homeostasis in our body keeps us from Getting too hot, we sweat. Keeps us from getting too cold, we shiver. And so how do we change the homeostasis of what we believe we're capable of? So if we go back to it, we'll do reading, writing, and listening exercises for each one of those steps so that it naturally, like a seed growing in earth, it naturally, quietly, organically just starts to change until there is a blossom. And then you say, oh wow, how did all this change?

How does someone know when they truly have become versus just performing a new identity?

Yes. Oh, that's an interesting question. So you know that you become because things get easier for you. There was a woman that stopped me on the street. She gave me a big hug. I thought I knew her. And she said, I was in one of your workshops. And I said, fantastic. She said, I loved it. My life has changed so completely. And I said, really? What happened? And she said, well, I got a divorce and lost my job. And I said, I'm so sorry. And she said, no, the best thing happened to me. I finally realized I was worth more. And she said, I want to introduce you to this man that I met. And she introduced me to the guy she was with. She said, love of my life. And by the way, I'm now making twice as much.

Wow.

And so you know that your identity has changed when the results in your life have changed. When are worth more when you are receiving more love, more wealth, more flow.

Yeah, more freedom is really what it sounds like. You're not fighting against something, you're kind of flowing through the world with effortlessness. Yes.

Yes. This is not about fixing you, it's about freeing you.

What does someone do when they don't know what identity is actually running them right now?

They can start to ask the subconscious mind, What age is this belief coming from? You can ask your subconscious mind to, you have this magical well of information within the subconscious mind. Some believe it's even the bridge to the quantum itself.

Mm-hmm.

Right? If, so you can start to say, if you're experiencing something, it takes a lot of awareness to say, this is an uncomfortable feeling. What just happened there? Oh, okay. Some of my shadows are coming up. And I hope we talk about shadow work, but some of my shadows come up. I just felt, um, like I wasn't good enough. I got, uh, envious. I got, um, spiteful, I got angry. And we could say, okay, what age of the person, we can ask subconscious mind, what age of the person is reacting within me now? Right? And sometimes it's like, oh, it's that 12-year-old self that had this experience where they got turned down in love and needed to protect from, from there on. So you can start to say, what parts of my identity, what ages of development are now making these decisions and enacting these behaviors.

Interesting. What is the part of your identity from the past that you feel still blocks you sometimes?

The part of my identity that still blocks me, I find, is am I going deep enough? Am I detailed enough?

Really? Detailed or deep enough?

Not deep emotionally, detailed enough.

Detailed enough.

Yeah. From my childhood, it was always, have you done the work? Have you studied enough? Have you figured it out enough?

Have you suffered enough? Have you done the research long enough?

My father had a doctorate in English. We weren't watching sports, we were studying vocabulary. And so I always found that if I didn't do all the research, all the studies, all the things that perhaps I wasn't going deep enough in my knowledge, And so even planning for today, I was like, do I have all my points correct? When I realized something, right? And I stopped myself. I said, I'm not the guy that's going to go, although in this book I write so much about the science I've studied, I have degrees, become a certified coach, a certified hypnotherapist, I've run businesses, right? So, but I'm not the guy that's going deep. I'll let Joe Dispenza and others do that.

Right, right.

Yeah. So what I do act as and is very valuable is I'm a reminder. I'm a reminder for you that this stuff is so achievable, that your emotional regulation could be the key to everything that you do, that your own forgiveness is the most powerful asset that you have, and that your gratitude can change your life. And those are things we all know. And you don't have to go in, although there's studies for each one of those things, you don't have to go into them to know intuitively that that's true. So I just said, I love myself and I forgive myself for getting worried about that. And I walked in and of course you're a gracious host and it was alleviated.

Another tool that I've learned is from a friend of mine who said, it's hard to be nervous when your heart's on service. And so, when you're thinking about how am I going to perform and how am I going to look, and I hope I sound funny or interesting or philosophical enough for this show or whatever it is or a stage or an event or something, an interview. Instead, yes, it's important to prepare and do the best you can to be ready so you're not underprepared and winging it.

Right.

But, at the end of the day, you've got to be thinking, how can I just show up in service and give my best and not beat myself up so much or be so overprepared that I'm so anxious. And then when I'm in the interview or on stage or whatever it might be, and I forget something, and then I'm holding on to that, that I forgot this thing and I'm not perfect. So it's preparing, but then also letting go and being present to what's, what's in front of you.

Yeah.

So I love that you said that forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools you can use. And for me, that really means forgiveness equals freedom. And when we can forgive ourselves or others, it gives us a sense of peace that we haven't had. And when we can lean in freedom, or when we can lean in forgiveness and gratitude, it creates more appreciation for what we have as well.

100%.

Yeah.

In fact, there was a study done that I write about in the book that showed that when you Lean into forgiveness. When you actually forgive, it has incredible effects on the body. It lowers inflammation, it increases immunity. People with HIV, they studied when they were able to forgive themselves and forgive others, they had their immunity shot way up.

Wow.

It lowers cortisol. And when all those things, higher immunity, lower inflammation, lower cortisol, That naturally emotionally regulates you. And then in that, there's another study that gratitude, when you're in the gratitude mindset, people were less likely to make foolish decisions around money. They were less likely to take out a loan and spend it instead of saving and spending, where they then didn't have the money and they had to pay.

Wow.

So it's rooted in science, but it's really just intuitive. And so 2 phrases I really love is let go and let God, and I am divinely guided. And it just settles your nervous system. You don't have to worry. Yes, it's all working out.

I think if someone can say that over and over again throughout the day is that I am divinely guided, you're going to be more in alignment and in tune with decisions and actions you should be taking to support that belief that you're creating and declaring Either internally or externally, when you say, I am divinely guided. And what you said before in a previous interview is like, whatever you say after I am is you are manifesting.

100%.

So if you're saying, I am divinely guided, you are manifesting that the more consistently you say it. Obviously, you want to be in alignment with it with your actions. You don't want to say it and then go completely against it because then you're not going to be backing your belief. But I think if you're Backing it through conscious actions and saying, look, there's another vote of what I just said. I'm actually voting for it by taking that action.

Yeah. Anything after I am, you are. Yeah. After I am, you become.

Yes.

And so I am divinely guided. It's hard to take a wrong action after that, right? Because it, what it does most is I am divinely, it lowers.

Even if it looks wrong, you're like, no, that was meant to happen for something else greater.

Right.

Right.

It's like, so there is no mistake.

I use it all the time to settle myself. Yes, I am divinely guided. It lowers fear and allows me to make good decisions because fear is lying to you. You don't have to believe your fear.

Was there ever a time in the last 6 months or the last year where you said, I'm divinely guided, but then something bad happened or quote unquote bad happened, or it seemed like that didn't feel divinely guided? That person I met who lied to me or that opportunity that didn't work out or that investment or whatever it is? Was there something you were like, huh, I thought this was meant to be a good thing and it didn't work?

Always with health. Always with health with me because I have physical issues. And so, I say, I'm divinely guided. What's meant to be will be. And then, there's a new pain. And so I'm challenged. It's like, wait, why is— why am I— how is this divine guidance? You know, and then we say, okay, if I can just settle back into emotional regulation and then forgive my body, forgive myself for getting upset, forgive the shame of, you know, maybe having that pain or that illness, and then I realize that, okay, you can breathe again. I'm divinely guided. And It makes it easier every time.

Yes.

So it doesn't necessarily remove all the issues and challenges from your life, but it just settles you enough where you can be back on the path. Yeah, exactly.

For someone who feels like they've tried everything around manifesting, they've tried journaling, therapy, affirmations, visualization, hypnotherapy, and nothing works for them. What's the very first thing that you'd have them do today that's different from everything they've tried to allow them to start manifesting better?

They should go to a better hypnotherapist.

Exactly.

So here's what I would start to try. One is forgiveness. We talk about forgiveness. We've written books about forgiveness. We've listened to Instagram Reels ad nauseam about forgiveness. But I want to change let them to forgive them. I just want to change let them to forgive them. Because once you forgive yourself first and you say, I am going to forgive myself for not achieving, for not manifesting, for letting myself down, for shaming myself for not doing any of that stuff. You put yourself immediately into more of a flow state. And now I want you to look at others and say, oh, I've been holding anger and resentments towards a number of people in my life, and that's been keeping me at a low vibrational frequency. I'm going to forgive mom and dad. They were doing the best they could, even if they did horrible things. They were corrupt. I'm going to forgive All those people growing up, right? And it's not to say that you're going to put yourself in harm's way. It's not to say you're letting them off the hook. Maya Angelou said this, it's like the best gift you can give yourself is to forgive.

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You've got a quote in your book, The Book of Possibility, on page 93 that says, if you hold on to anger and blame, dwelling on how things should have been, you're living in a low vibration that can physically harm you. Your stress rises, your mental health declines. Unforgiveness places a burden on your heart. And I think, you know, at the essence of a lot of your work and what you're continually going through with physical challenge.

Yeah.

It sounds like if you don't have forgiveness in your heart, nothing good will come. It sounds like if you hold on to anger, rage, or blame, or dwelling on how things could have been from your past— I wish my parents did this way, I wish I'd made this opportunity, I wish I didn't get hurt from this divorce, whatever it is—

Yeah, because it keeps you in an identity of abused child, um, you know, person, you know, divorced person that has injured, the trauma of this, right?

The wound.

It keeps you in this survival mode. And through that survival mode, that tending and surviving and healing, right? It doesn't allow you to step out and truly experience like the bliss of being.

Yes.

So when you start to say, I forgive all that, and it really says it's time to move on.

From that old identity, that old story that you're holding onto, right?

Because I'm no longer tied to you. I've cut that cord through forgiveness. We do cord-cutting ceremonies too, but I cut that cord through forgiveness. The science shows it. And now emotionally, I cut that cord to forgiveness and therefore I can now move on without the tethers into my new way of being, into my new identity, which is more powerful, more loving, and a much higher frequency, which guess what? Lower inflammation in your body.

Yeah.

More oxytocin.

more endorphins, and which sends you on a path. You know, so I always say that neuroscience and science is really changing the mind, and spirituality is healing the heart.

That's beautiful, because unforgiveness places a burden on your heart. And if your heart is being weighed down, physically burdened in a cage, and reflecting towards the past pain, Right. It's hard to create a vision of a future possibility of manifesting what you want when you're always burdened by the past. I've heard you say that people would be surprised who they need to forgive first before anything else can start to shift. So who is the person we need to forgive first, and why does everything else stall until that happens?

I know that people listening saw an image in their mind of the person they need to forgive first.

Mom, dad, the husband, the wife, whatever. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. And now I want you to look in the mirror.

Ooh.

Right?

Oozing.

Oozing. Look in the mirror because you are the person you need to forgive first.

Wow.

You've been terribly difficult. You've been terribly hard on yourself. You've been feeling that. You've been telling yourself you're not good enough. You've been shaming yourself for those decisions you made. You've been wondering why you just can't get it right. You've been so angry with yourself because your body's broken. You've been so withdrawn because you feel stuck or your depression has you, right? And so first of all, just stand in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eye and see that beautiful soul that's within your body. That's you. That's your conscious awareness of the soul.

Mm-hmm.

And just say, I'm so sorry. I forgive you. Thank you. And I love you. And just feel yourself transform. You are the first person that you need to forgive, anybody that's listening.

Again, unforgiveness places a burden on your heart. You say that in your book on page 93.

Yeah.

When you forgive yourself and then you forgive others, it's like you create a sense of peace in your heart. Your heart starts to And hopefully that sends a signal of healing energy throughout your body as well.

The heart has a higher electromagnetic frequency than the brain, and that's what they talk about, your heart going into coherence. Yes. And your heart can't go into coherence if you're holding on to anger and resentment.

When you look at your eyes and you own it and believe it, it's like receiving someone else's apology, the truest, sincerest apology and what that feels like. Sure, maybe for the first moment you might be like, yeah, but you should have apologized a year ago, or you shouldn't have done it in the first place. But when someone truly apologizes to you, it kind of releases the tension as well for you.

Yeah.

So imagine doing that for yourself. And I want everyone watching or listening to, to try this today, tonight, right now. Find a mirror, And sit with yourself, whatever you need to let go of, whatever you need to release and align and become. I'm telling you, forgiveness, it sounds so simple. It's extremely courageous and vulnerable to do.

And so hard.

And so hard. But it is such a simple tool, right, that if you learn to forgive others by forgiving yourself first and receive the forgiveness you give yourself, And then doing it for others, you at least create peace and harmony alignment in your body.

And that goes a long way.

Goes a long way. Now, it doesn't mean you let go of boundaries. It doesn't mean you bring people back into your life. It doesn't mean you hang out with people or do harmful things to yourself again.

We go into the science of forgiveness. We go into the exercise of forgiveness. I love that idea of doing that exercise. We talk about the mirror exercise. And I do this with a lot of the groups, and it's staring at yourself in the mirror, right? And then listening. First, you take off all your clothes, get in a full-length mirror, and you stand in front of the mirror. Get close so you can see the wrinkles. You can— and so—

The insecurities, the imperfections.

The insecurities. Boy, why is one hip higher than the other? Why is my stomach so big? What are those veins? What are those wrinkles? You listen to your mind go—

Judgment.

All the judgment.

Judgment, shame, all those, you're too old, you're too young, you're too fat. Some people come back and say, I had the nicest things to say about myself. I was like, that's beautiful. Majority of people don't. And then the next step is to apologize to yourself and forgive for each one of those terrible things that you had thought of and said. It becomes, like you said, like this story, a really cathartic moment.

Yes.

And within that energy shift, you raise your frequency to be more in a frequency of love, because what that is is compassion for yourself. And that compassion for yourself puts you in a loving frequency, one of the highest frequencies that you can be in. And through being in that love frequency, Everything changes. Take me, for example. I wouldn't go out. I wouldn't do many things that if I had to be in front of an audience or definitely not on any kind of public TV appearance or anything like that, because I was incredibly self-conscious and shameful of the way that I walked.

Really?

Yeah. Yeah. And so now I had pain in my body and then I was creating even more anguish by like, I'll never be loved if I walk this way. If I can't hike up a mountain, then every woman that I ever wanted probably doesn't want me. It turns out that not every woman wants to hike up a mountain, but it wasn't— thank God. But it wasn't until I truly accepted and loved myself and apologized and forgave myself For being so mean to myself that my life dramatically, dramatically changed. More love, more wealth, more success, more ability to contribute to the world.

On a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the worst, 1 being the best, how mean were you to yourself most of the time? 10 being like I was the meanest a-hole in the world to myself, 1 being like I was an angel to myself.

Yeah, I was the meanest.

Really?

Yeah. And I didn't even think I realized it because until you do the exercise of really listening to your thoughts, it just plays. And so this is what the release part is, is building awareness around what you're saying to yourself. Because what I realized when I was building awareness is I was restricting myself. I was embarrassed of myself. I was shameful of myself. I wasn't allowing myself to have fun. I wasn't allowing myself to fall in love. I wasn't allowing myself to feel safe, or I wasn't allowing myself to be vulnerable. And I think that is terribly mean.

Mm-hmm.

Right? And when I did allow myself to do all that stuff, you know, because I forgave myself, and then on top of that, I started to say, I love you. I love you. Part of that prayer, I love you. The whole world opened up. My body released the pain, but it didn't release the physical limp. But my entire world changed regardless. So the belief and the identity of who I was, instead of being shameful and guilty and bad, I became, you know, someone who was trying to help in the world and through my own pain, you know, driven and mission-oriented. And so my world changed just by changing my belief. And, but to do that, as we talk about in this book, the tools, it's about getting beyond The mundaneness of forgiveness and gratitude. For example, water is mundane, except for the people in the part of the world that are listening to us that are in water scarcity.

They have no water.

Right. They have no water or it's polluted or whatever. But in the majority of the world, right?

It's abundant. It's free.

It's abundant, right? It's like, uh, it's kind of boring, right? You're like, uh, no, I want, yeah, I want to drink. I want like, whatever it is, something We're always putting flavors in water, right? But water, besides air, is the only thing that you can't go very long without dying. It is literally, we're made mostly of water. It has all of our intuitive innate wisdom within it. It is not only functioning on an intuitive level, but on a physical level. And so I believe forgiveness and gratitude are the same thing. We start to take it for granted, but when we really dig in, those things can change your entire life.

So what is the prayer then, the process that you were just talking about, the thank you, I forgive you, I'm sorry?

It's called the Ho'oponopono prayer. And the Ho'oponopono prayer was a prayer that was the, as the story goes, it was an energetic prayer that had the process. It's more of a, besides, don't think of it as words, think of it as a code, a frequency that you're expressing through the tone of your voice into the world. And the story goes that the man who kind of created this was praying over pictures of inmates in a very violent prison in Hawaii. And when he did this, the violent crime within the prison went down so dramatically, most of the prisoners were transferred into a lower security.

Really?

Yeah.

He was doing a remote prayer.

Remote prayer. And so This prayer was the first thing, when I started to do it the first time, I would break down in tears.

Wow.

And you don't need to focus on where it goes. It will go to the place it needs to. And you center yourself and breathe, and you simply start to repeat as a mantra, do it 10 times, 20 times, I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you. I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. Make it a mantra. Keep doing it. Keep doing it. And I'm certain it's going to crack something.

Yeah.

Would you say that this is the ultimate prayer for manifesting?

I think it's the ultimate prayer for forgiveness, but you can't manifest without your own forgiveness anyway.

Right, right.

Yeah.

So it's the starting prayer.

Yes.

Yes, exactly.

Okay.

That's interesting. We're talking about creating a new identity, letting go of the old identity so you can step into the new identity. How can someone start to rewire their identity then to attract, create, manifest abundance and wealth in their life?

Good. So we're talking about a couple of things. One is, how do we release that old identity, which we just talked about? We release that old identity by forgiveness, by awareness, by really bringing to light those limiting beliefs within the subconscious mind that need to be released. The second part is, how do we step into a new identity that is more abundant?

Yes.

Right? And I call it the 3 Gs.

3 Gs.

The 3 Gs. And the 3 Gs are, Grounding, giving, and gratitude. And this gets into a subconscious and conscious. It hits on both levels. It hits on the neuroscience of it and it hits on the spirituality of it, which are really the same thing. Quantum physics is showing that really neuroscience and spirituality are the same. We can get deeper into that.

Yeah.

So the first one is grounding. Emotional regulation from a place of a grounded, emotionally regulated stance. You get out of fight or flight, you get out of freeze and fawn, and you're able to make decisions that are clear and not focused on panic. You make decisions that are clear and they're not anxious driven. They're not worry driven. They're grounded here and now decisions. And they become more powerful and clear. So from that place of grounding, emotional regulation, you are not going to be in scarcity. If you're not in scarcity, then it's okay to save. You don't need to buy all the material items now.

Yep.

You don't need to take a loan that may not behoove you. You can just save for what you need, knowing that you are abundant and you don't need that now. We're talking about money. The second part is giving. When you give money to a charity, when you give money, I had a teacher and he said, you can never give it all away. It comes back to you. You become in an abundant frequency that says, I can give. I have more than I need. And so some people will say, no, but that's not true. Like, I can't give money. I don't have enough. Find an amount. that you can give, and it will come back to you. It is the ultimate frequency of abundance.

Mm-hmm.

When in doubt, focus out, give. The third part is gratitude. So there have been studies done on gratitude, and we're not even talking about the frequency of love and feeling good towards yourself. There have been studies that have shown that when we feel gratitude, we are in a High vibrational state allows us to make the best decisions, lower our material need, increase our ability to wait prolonged need for something. And so that allows us to save money and to do. And so we start to say, okay, if I have a gratitude practice every day for what I have, Mm-hmm. then I am in a state where more will come. I am in a naturally abundant state. And the last part is, I wrote about it in my book, I wrote about your book because it really affected me. It says, if money was someone at a party, how would you treat them? That really goes to your identity. It goes to your identity. And I remember thinking, how would I treat money at the party?

How would you? How would you before versus now? Or are they the same?

Before, I would put them on a pedestal and try really hard to be nice to them.

Impress them or yeah. Yeah.

I remember hearing Gabby Bernstein talk about it. She'd be like, money be my best friend. And I'm like, that's what I need to do. And so that's your identity. What are you worthy of? And so we can use somatic exercises, we can use neurolinguistic programming and hypnotherapy in the read, write, listen format of this book that will change that That will start to open up and create new neural pathways and new ways of being.

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I've heard you say you can't attract a life your subconscious doesn't believe you deserve.

Exactly.

So if someone doesn't believe they are deserving and worthy of love, of abundance, of health, and they're trying to take all the actions to create them, but there's a gap, or maybe they create them, but then they still don't believe they're worthy of them. They have them and they don't believe they're worthy of them. What typically happens next?

So you can't create a life that your subconscious Mind doesn't believe you deserve. Exactly right. So even if you hustle and you get it, you'll sabotage it.

Yeah.

You will sabotage it. And so that's why you see people that had everything, a man that had the relationship of his dreams and then he cheats, or someone that gets their job that they always wanted and then they get fired because they just can't get to work. And it's like, okay, If your subconscious mind isn't in line with what you want, it will sabotage until you lose it. And this is both with the fear of failure and the fear of success. And so we have to really go in and re-envision, reprogram, and who that child is. We all have these childhood wounds. And we have to go in and re-experience Those experiences, I think, within a transcendental state, a trance state, so that we can retrain in the best possible light. For example, I have a client. She was very successful at business and never got into a relationship. Now she sold her business, wants a relationship, can't find one, and is also having an identity crisis because she's no longer running a big business. Right.

Well, I don't have my identity around my business where I was leaning on. Now I don't have a relationship. I don't have my business.

So now I consciously want a relationship. I can't hold one down. And also—

I'm going to start a new business now.

Right. Should I start a new business? But I don't have my business. I don't really want to start a new business, but I feel like I'm not good enough without a big business that I've started. And so what we got to was all the way back, She was riding in a car with her father at a young age, and the father said something like, no one's here to take care of you. You may have a silver spoon in your mouth now, but I'm not going to take care of you forever. And one day, if you don't take care of yourself, you'll be homeless, and then maybe I'll take care of you.

Right, right.

And so that, in her little mind, said, I need to take care of myself. Hyper-independence, hyper-success. And if I'm not making money, I'm not worthy. And also, No way I'm going to rely on someone else, be vulnerable enough to rely on a partner to help me. And so we had to unravel that. What we did is we went into a state of hypnosis and we re-experienced that, except for I guided into the state of a father saying something completely different. She was crying, crying, crying. And then when she came out of it, she felt as though the world had shifted.

Wow.

Yeah. And so we start to say, oh, we need to start to do the inner child work. We need to do shadow work and inner child work, both such important pieces to becoming who we want to become.

What is shadow work?

Shadow work are all those shadows, those monsters that lurk within all of us that were created to protect our child. So as a child, we have all these experiences that we don't understand, our emotions that are hurt, no way of really expressing. And the shadows are those things that were there to protect us, but now come out in ways that we're not proud of, like our anxieties, our anger, our jealousies, our sabotaging others, our resentments, right? All those negative ways of being. And so what we do is we hide those shadows. We don't want anybody to know. But the funny thing is we all have them, so we're all hiding the same shit. We're all hiding the same stuff. And so we don't want anybody to know it, so we think we're hiding it. But the more we hide it, the louder that monster gets. You're only as sick as your secrets, as they say.

Or it'll explode at some point.

Exactly. So shadow work says, I'm going to recognize that I just reacted in this terrible way, Out of jealousy, I did something terrible to that person. I went out and wrote something online about them because I was jealous of them. I'm going to recognize that I did that. I'm going to recognize that it was probably from a pain or hurt as a child, and I'm going to forgive it, and I'm going to integrate it within me with love, this part of me. And Carl Jung said, Shadow work is the only real way to expand our own being. Otherwise, we're just lying to ourselves.

Mm.

And so through shadow work, we're able to integrate both sides of us, even those ugly things, and love it. And with that, start to do the inner child work that heals all the guilt wounds. The guilt wound in inner child work is children that have been abused or You know, come from difficult families, and then now they're always like wondering if you didn't text them back because they did something wrong. Or someone who asks you, are you mad at me? Often that's the guilt wound from childhood, or, you know, the anxious attached wound, or those different wounds within childhood. These are all the inner child work that we can start to do. Yeah, to change it.

So interesting. When I reflect back on On childhood stuff. Like, I really struggled with— I didn't really have any friends, or at least that was the story I was telling myself. And I remember I— like, something changed in high school. Like, I started to not be like so tall and goofy looking. I started to like fit in my body.

Right.

I became more athletic. I was like, oh, I'm, you know, a starter on the sports teams and the MVP. And I was like, oh, now I'm getting attention.

Yeah.

For the thing that drove me to try to get attention, which was, all right, no one's my friend. I can't get attention from girls. Like, no one wants to hang out with me. They're all making fun of me. So let me be so good that people want to be around me. And it worked. That strategy protected me. It helped me survive, right, in like school. To the fact that I was like, oh, now I'm like the, the big man on campus. Right? But I didn't know how to navigate that. I didn't know how to like navigate having friends and people wanting me a part of their ecosystem now. And so, I was almost like afraid of it and I almost was like hypervigilant like, is everything okay? Am I doing the right things? I want to make sure I don't lose this. Now that I've got it, I don't want to go back to being alone and having no friends.

So, that's where the fear is and the attachment.

What do you need?

How can I be here for you?

How can I I'll be the funny guy and then this guy and that.

That's another one, people pleasing.

All this stuff. I gave every strategy of survival. I wasn't even aware. I wasn't conscious of it. I was just doing it so that I didn't feel like I was alone and had no friends again.

But you became conscious. How did you become conscious of it?

In my late 20s, it was right around before I started the School of Greatness. I was starting to reflect because all these things were breaking down in my life. An intimate relationship was breaking breaking down, business partnership was breaking down, friendships were breaking down, and that was the common denominator of everything.

Yeah.

So, I was like, oh, I can't just point the finger that everyone else is wrong because I'm involved in all this wrongdoing. So, there's something I'm bringing to the table that is also causing these things to happen in this relationship.

Isn't that powerful?

Or, I'm attracting these people that are bringing this on to me. Maybe I'm not doing anything wrong, but I'm attracting something. I'm staying in relationships. I'm not creating boundaries. I'm giving too much, whatever it might And I was like, oh, I need a lot of reflection. And so there was the time before I had a lot of ego where I was like, everyone else is bad and wrong. I'm not going to change. Like, why should I change? They're the one who did this.

Yeah.

And then a number of instances made me feel so kind of overwhelmed and like stressed that I was like, I think there's something wrong with me. You know, it's like, I think I'm the problem. Or part of the problem.

Yeah.

And why am I attracting people in this way? And why am I allowing this to happen? Why does this keep happening? Let me take a look in the mirror psychologically. And that's when I started to go to emotional intelligence workshops. I started to get coaching, kind of emotional coaching, and really started to just dive into inner childhood wounds and the stories that I had attached my identity to. Everything you're talking about here in the Book of Possibility, where I hadn't released the old identity. I carried the old identity into an adult body and an adult way of looking and being, but I was still carrying energy of scarcity, of fear, of not enoughness, of survival in adult scenarios.

Yeah.

When I had had millions of dollars at this point in the bank, When I had lots of relationships with successful people that I knew, when I had an audience, when I had a business, all these things, but I didn't have peace. I didn't have love for myself and I didn't have freedom. And, that was a beginning. It was around 13 years ago when I started the show. It was the beginning of a healing journey. That will continue forever. But it's been so many— that first kind of unlock released a lot of forgiveness from the past. But it's been an ongoing 13-year journey of unlocking different layers.

It took that awareness.

Yes.

Right? And without that pain, people often think that their pain is the worst thing that ever happened. And the truth is that pain is the biggest catalyst you could have if you're willing to be aware of why it's happening.

Yeah. And, you know, I'm grateful that my ego finally let go because for a long time, 10+ years, my ego was like, no, I'm just going to win more. I'm just going to make more. I'm going to like grind. I'm going to not sleep until I'm like— I'll show them. Showing everyone. It was like, ah, you know?

I'll show them. I'll just become even more powerful.

Exactly. And it worked, but it left me feeling more sad and stressed and overwhelmed than ever. Like I got the external results, but I had no internal freedom.

That's why these things aren't bad or good. There was some good and there was some bad.

Yeah, the strategy works to get external results, but not internal freedom.

And it got you to a place where you felt secure enough where you can then do the deep emotional work.

Exactly.

I had that same kind of scenario with romantic relationships.

Really?

Where I was, at one point I had to say, okay, now I've been in a lot of failed Romantic relationships.

It can't be all these women.

I can no longer say that it was this small thing about so-and-so. And I had to take a real look at myself and say, okay, oh, is this my avoidance? Is this my attachment? Is this my inner child wound from my father being abusive and the guilt of the child that always feels like they did something wrong when they don't understand why their father's so mad at them. And so, that allowed me to be very safe in relationships. And then, when I realized that that was my wounding and that was my shadow, I had to make a change.

You work with a lot of top entrepreneurs, public figures, creatives, artists. What's the most common subconscious pattern that you see running For high-achieving individuals?

Confidence, low confidence, and imposter syndrome.

Really?

Yeah.

That's the most common subconscious pattern for high achievers, successful individuals is I'm not enough.

Really?

Yes.

Yes. I see it with the people that you would say, no way, but they are feeling like they have to do more. Prove more, be more, because—

Don't they already have it all? They're celebrities and businesses and billionaires and success and—

Yes, exactly.

Fame.

But really, they're all— so many people are wondering, when are they going to figure me out?

Really?

Yes. And then the comparison to others, right? The comparison to others of, but this person may have done it better or they have more. And so it becomes so difficult in just being happy when you're always worried someone's going to find out that you're an imposter and perhaps you'll never have what this person has over here.

Who do you think is more unhappy, people that make over $1 million a year or people that make less than $50,000 a year?

Less than $50,000 a year.

I do.

I think there's a point where An amount of wealth doesn't accumulate to more happiness, but there is definitely a point where you're like, okay, this has definitely changed my life for the better. Now, the question is, how are you spending your money? Because if all of a sudden you went out and bought the best BMW and the fancy house and your million dollars is gone and whatever it is—

Back to having nothing.

Yeah. And so I think it goes back to your behaviors into holding on And not sabotaging yourself.

So, a lot of these individuals, not everyone, but a lot of these individuals who are high achievers, they feel like they aren't enough or they're comparing themselves to someone else in their industry who might be doing it better from their point of view. So, if you could speak to every high achiever, celebrity, multimillionaire, billionaire who on the outside most people would think they have it all, But on the inside, they look at themselves in the mirror and they feel like they're a worthless piece of crap and they aren't smart, aren't funny, aren't talented, and they're not enough. What would you say to those individuals right now?

I'd say to them and I'd say to everybody listening, you're not your body, you're not your pain, you're not your job. You are nothing that you can identify as an object like this glass, this body, this job.

Your accolades, your followers, your money.

Your accolades, your money. And instead, you are something far more worthy. You are your conscious awareness. You are meant to be here, right? You're meant to shine your light. You don't have to worry about anything other than that. The more you shine your light in terms of your joy and your love, then the more that you'll have, right?

Mm-hmm.

So we can release the worry for a minute, right? We can just be here now. And in that here and now, Knowing that we are inherently worthy, inherently enough, inherently deserving, and we don't have to prove it. That's what I would— that's what— if I could get everybody to feel and believe that, then lives would shift.

You mentioned something before, that neuroscience and spirituality are the same.

Love it.

Why is neuroscience and spirituality the same?

Well, we need both of them because we are not just spiritual or human. We are a spirit having a human experience. So to not focus on science would be missing out on a big part, and not focusing on spirituality would be missing out on a big part. So the science is, or the neuroscience is really Shifting of the mind, whereas spirituality is healing and shifting of the heart. And so it is so conjoined like that. However, now start to look at what's happening in science today. We have quantum physics that is talking about this idea that with our own observation, things shift, and that those things are shifting in a large void of nothing until we actually see it. So this quantum field, the void, right? And so spirituality has been talking about God, the universe, has been talking about the universal mind forever. So the Tao used to say everything is the Tao and the Tao is everything. Same as the Sufi texts would talk about so above is below. And now quantum physics is talking about this idea that we are all entangled and connected. So the more that we get into science, the further we progress, the more we realize that it's always been speaking the same language of the mind and the heart forever.

If someone watching doesn't believe in God, what would you say to them?

Believe in science. And if you don't believe that God is the creator, then You know, we have this funny thing that says, you know, there is this field and quantum mechanics, quantum computing, quantum physics has proved that it exists and you can't see it.

It's invisible.

It's invisible. And you need to actually have just faith that it's there. And doesn't that sound a lot familiar?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. So if you don't believe in God or any of this stuff that I've said today, all the woo woo stuff, Just look to science because it's all proven.

How old are you now?

50.

If you could go to 60 and give yourself 3 pieces of advice now and just quantumly leap into the future, you're 60 and you're seeing yourself now, what 3 pieces of advice would you give yourself?

I'm giving my 50-year-old self advice?

Yes.

Have more fun, Have more fun. It's not always this good.

Right?

Have more fun. It's not always this good. Appreciate your body. It's only getting worse. And stop worrying so much.

Yeah.

It's all working out.

What do you worry about the most?

My body.

Yeah.

Yeah, my body or whether I'm going to be on time, whether I'm going to be in traffic.

Right.

You know, with this work that we do, it doesn't say that worries stop. It's a natural way of being. It's just to say that you can settle yourself down a lot quicker.

Yeah.

And those lessons that worry is trying to teach you can go away much faster in a snap instead of getting stuck in the overthinking mind.

Your new book is called The Book of Possibility: Release, Align, Become by Jim Curtis. If you guys want more on how to transform your life and your mind and feel peace, harmony, make sure to check out the book. Get a copy for your friend as well, The Book of Possibility. You got an event around it that people can get access to if they go to jimcurtiscoaching.com or if they follow you on Instagram, jimcurtis1 on Instagram. They can get more content, learn more about the launch, get access, things like that. And, I'm sure you'll be doing other things as well around it. So, if they follow you, And subscribe, they'll be able to get access to all that stuff. Who should be getting this book? And, what do you think is available for them on the other side if they actually go through it and apply the principles?

I wrote this book for people who are ready for a change, who know there's something more and are wanting to be freed to do it. Those people that have been feeling stuck, those people with chronic pain or an illness, those people that want to manifest in a more powerful way, It comes with a companion app, so you actually listen to the hypnosis so it changes your mind. So those curious people who know that there's something more to life and want to wake up happier and go to sleep easier, most of the people say that one of the things from this work is, I can just go to sleep. I don't worry anymore.

Yes.

And if you want to step into the most powerful version of you, that's what this book is for, despite all the challenges around.

That's beautiful, man. I want to make sure people get the book, The Book of Possibility. I asked you this before, but I'm curious what your 3 truths are again. So imagine you get to live as long as you want, but on the final day, you have to take all of your work with you. The book, this content, everything has to go with you, and you only get to leave behind 3 lessons to the world. I call it 3 truths. What would those truths be for you?

You're not doing it wrong. You are living life. It's supposed to be challenging. All these issues that come up, your reactions, poor, good, whatever, you're doing it exactly right. That's one.

Love.

The second one is kindness towards yourself and others will go much further than you could ever possibly imagine. And you can't give it all away. The more you give in money and time and life, The more you receive.

Yeah. Just don't give it all away at once.

Right, right.

Make sure you have something.

Yes.

Here's everything now. Yeah, yeah.

I think it's a great distinction.

Yeah, exactly. Jim Curtis, thanks so much for being here, man. Appreciate your time.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you again.

I've got to earn love, chase love, work so hard for love. And that's not true. Love isn't to be earned or chased or run after or paid for. It's just there. So I had to give up that belief that I got to earn love.